· EroticaLA - Pre-FAME Awards (flickr.com)
· EroticaLA - FAME Red Carpet (flickr.com)

That convention is called Erotica Los Angeles.

Held in the seedy streets of downtown Los Angeles mere blocks away from the Staples center, in between undocumented migrant workers selling chile limon spiced fruit and nuts and the allure of $12 parking, Erotica Los Angeles is housed in a Lux Luthor-esque palace made of green steel and glass. This year it drew in record crowds (sort of). Like insects to the sweet scent of a roach motel they found their way past the token religious nut job protestors and hardcore Laker fans selling illegal silk screens, up into the bowels of this cathedral of sin and wonder, past the pot convention line, and onto the lusty red carpets of Erotica Los Angeles.

There they were greeted by stars like jessica drake, Kaylani, Rhyse and Rhylee Richards, Faye Reagan & Georgia Jones, Jenna Haze, Kagney Linn Karter, Alexis "goddamnthatass" Texas, Tori Lane, Alanah Rae, Angelina Armani, Teagan Presley, Eva Angelina, Tori Lane, Hunter Bryce, Stoya, Tatum Pierce, Kayden Cross, Bree Olson, David Lord, Kelly Divine, Brynn Tyler, Mia Lelani, Reagan Reese, Heidi Mayne, Alektra Blue, Dana DeArmond, Stormy Daniels, DCypher, Belladonna, Shyla Stylez, Tommy Gunn, Joanna Angel, Courtney Cruz, Riley Steele, Tera Patrick and Evan, James Deen, Sunny Lane and Sunny Leone, and a whole lot of other chicks who we forgot to mention.

For those who missed the fun, or just want another look to remind them of all those good times waiting to hug a porn star, check out the gallery below.

· UCLA Undie Run: Who are you wearing? (latimesblogs.latimes.com)

By which we mean, Joanna really needs a new intern. She wants you to be based out of LA, smart, perverted, dedicated and I'm sure it wouldn't hurt if you were hot. Really, get a move on. Joanna Angel is a very busy lady and doesn't like to be kept waiting.

· More info here: Burning Angel Forum(burningangel.com)

· Image courtesy of: XOXO Joanna Angel(xoxojoannaangel.com)

Grey greyced the opening of a 25th anniversary retrospective of Vivid Video photography at production company World of Wonder's Hollywood Blvd. gallery. The retrospective, which runs through March 13, features framed boxcovers and art through the Ginger Lynn era through today, each under its own year.

Vivid was also celebrating the debut episode of "Deeper Throat," which premiered on Showtime this weekend. The latest of W.o.W.'s fictive depictions of the house that Hirsch built, "Deeper Throat" weaves a tale of the re-making of "Deep Throat" (starring Grey and the Women of Vivid) and Vivid's struggles with Arrow Releasing, the Vegas-based company that owns the rights to the original.

Vivid had been around for five years before Grey showed up on March 14, 1988. Makes us wonder.

With Vivid a MILF and Grey almost drinking age, our ingenue selves can't help but ponder the loss of our own barely-legalness.

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Sasha Grey (sashagrey.com)
· World of Wonder (worldofwonder.net)

Naturally, we escorted Stoya dearest to the 2009 XBIZ Awards on Thursday, because we are super cool and that's how we roll. Adam & Eve contract stars Kayden Kross & Bree Olson hosted the event, which was a blast by all accounts. We're still recovering from all the fun we packed into that night... it will probably take the rest of this venereal weekend.

By now we're sure that you know all the results. So instead, we'd like to shout out our friends we drank with at the free bar. Who doesn't love a free bar?

Virtually everyone was there, including Lisa Ann, Jenna Haze, Jules Jordan, Spyder Jonez, Brooke Haven, Sasha Gray, Belladonna, Brad Armstrong, jessica drake, Mike Moz, Monstar, Robbie D, Porno Dan, Dakota Brookes, Tricia Devereaux, John Stagliano, James Deen, Aiden Starr, Dana DeArmond, Roxy Jezel, Tory Lane, Angelina Armani, Jenny Hendrix, Eva Angelina, Tommy Gunn, Cindy Jennings, Trina Michaels, Nick Manning, Tom Byron, Sunny Lane, Cousin Stevie, Vikki Vette, Will Ryder, Renee Perez, Carmella Bing, Sophie Dee, Chris Charming, Anita Blue, Roy Karch, Rodney Moore, Ben English, Joel Lawrence, Ron Jeremy, Nina Hartley & Ernest Greene, zak sabath & mandy morbid, Craven Moorehead, Kimberly Kane, Tori Black, Tee Reel, Sinammon Love, Lexi Belle, Ashlynn Brookes, Nikki Jane, Ava Rose, Dez Shady, James Bartholet, Alektra Blue, Pat Myne, Dax, Renaud West, Lexi Lamour, Puma Swede, KB, TMZ's resident surfer, Nikki Benz, and Lexi Love—and many more we will recall when this hangover wears off.

You see the lengths we go to just to keep you happy? We hope you appreciate it all. Enjoy your weekend sexy bitches!!!

As you know, our Supreme Commandress Stoya took home yet another award last night, adding an award for XBiz's Best New Starlet to her already bursting trophy cabinet. And how did she prepare for her big night? By learning how to surf with us in Venice Beach. We took DP's dainty darling out into the water and watched her immediately tame unruly Poseidon. Thanks to Digital Playground, we can share these exclusive images with you. Watch as the amazing Stoya masters the ancient art of wave riding.

We trolled out through the boardwalk, past Scarface posters and bongs and salvia and street performers and tattoo parlors all the way to Breakwater to check the conditions. We determined with a cursory glance that they were sloppy but ridable and stopped to posed at the graffiti wall with the devil girl art. Then it was on to legendary ZJ's Board Shop, where she attempted to change in the middle of the store while a flock of speechless surfers dropped their boards and crowded around her. Once back on the beach it took a precious few quick instructions, punctuated by gasps from gawking tourists mesmerized by her ineffable beauty, before the Philly native plunged into the icy waters and began her rigorous instructions with a bemused grin. Within ten minutes she had caught her first wave and become a bona fide surfer—the hottest one in the whole world, in our humble estimation! Kelly Slater would have been proud... amongst other things.

Stoya rode several waves before turning in for a hot shower and some tasty Mexican food. We're pretty sure she's caught the surf bug, so expect to see the stunner turning heads in Australia soon. She may be at Bells Beach, or crushing hearts at next year's Pipe Masters (and giving a new definition to the event in the process). Mahalo & aloha!

These exclusive images are courtesy of Digital Playground. Any duplication or use without written consent will result in legal consequences—so use your head, kids. We'll be watching.

And that's not all: LA Weekly has an interview with Vivid co-founder Steven Hirsch, as well as a gallery of box covers throughout the years. The more things change, the more they stay the same, right?

· Vivid Entertainment Celebrates 25th Anniversary: Co-Founder Steven Hirsch Talks All-American Porn (blogs.laweekly.com)

· Max Hardcore's Farewell Party (avn.com, via Kimberly Kane)

We're keeping our fingers crossed that the whole thing turns out like one of their previous, uh, collaborations. Come on, who doesn't want to see a naked girlpile in the middle of an awards show?

· Bree Olson, Kayden Kross Named Co-Hosts of 2009 XBIZ Awards (xbiz.com)

Well, except for the fact that we can run around in our underwear any time we want, and we never, ever have to take finals (ever).

· UCLA Undie Run caught on video, at last (latimesblogs.latimes.com)

Penthouse director Marcus London walked the red carpet with his beautiful wife Devon Lee. Mick Blue made the scene with Diana Doll. Eric “Swiss Balls” Swiss showed up with two uninhibited starlets and gave everyone a partial sex show. Justine brought an entourage composed of several hot models including punk rock pin-up lesbian Zoli Suicide. Mmmmm.

Other fabulous celebrity type porn people in attendance included Lisa Demarco, Brandi Wood, Sophie Scarf, Shy Love, Jenny Hendrix, Eric Everhard, Marco Bandaras, Magdalan St. Michaels, James Bartholet, Ashlyn Brookes, Christian XXX, Lexi Belle, Evan Stone, Pete Warren, Dan Miller, Chris King, Zander Kane, Tony Batman, Lexi Tyler, Cleatis Mack from Digital Underground, Lexi Love, Layna Lee, Nita Strauss, Alyssa Rose, Sarah Beth, Kat Scarlett, Alexis Gidden, Heather Scarlett, Kiera Kiss, and two crazy UCLA students who snuck in and then obnoxiously crashed the red carpet. We snapped them anyway thinking maybe we were being punked by Sasha Cohen for his upcoming Bruno movie.

The evening's festivities included exotic painted models serving cocktails, an exclusive live burlesque performance by Carmit of the Pussycat Dolls, plus the ridiculously sexy all girl group Killy Slowly playing something or other. Go-Go girls gyrated to the sexy hip-hop beats, and libations liberally flowed until the wee hours of the morning. Pets dry humped each other up and down the VIP while onlookers gawked. We drank so much with the Pets that we had to be driven home and spent two days recovering before writing this post. You see the lengths we go to just for you? You are all very, very welcome.

As our friends at Sex-And-Blogs describe the project:

"Select respondents were made-over with the help of hair stylists and make-up artists, and photographed in a glamour-style photo shoot. The resulting photos were also digitally retouched to help achieve the desired visual effect. Wearing then had the manipulated photographs transformed into unique—almost nostalgic—painted portraits."

It's an interesting concept, though it might have been even more interesting if the subjects who responded to Wearing's ad didn't already look like pin-up subjects to begin with. As soon as an artist comes along who comes up with a way to transform those of us with paunches and less-than-perfect boobs into classic pin-up material, we'll be taking off our clothes quicker than you can say "Andy Warhol".

• A Pin-Up Like You (sex-and-blogs.com)
• Gillian Wearing: "Pin Ups" (@ Regen Projects, Los Angeles, through August 23, 2008)