Say what you will about violent sports, Supreme Commandress Joanna looks just as good all buffed-up as she does in the buff. Finally, after weeks of waiting, we got to see her step toe to toe with Rawdog, and she made him her bitch. Technically, she didn't win, but only because she stomped the guy while he was down. "I really did not want to fight like a ghetto chick but it was just my first instinct to do so."

Real talk, Joanna. Real talk.

· Fight Pictures from Ellis Mania! (more @ xoxojoannaangel.com)

Now, she's not going pro or anything, but she willing be fighting against some dude named Rawdog in Jason Ellis's fightstravaganza, Ellis Mania. She's only got a few weeks to train, but we're sure she can pull it off. Pretty sure, anyway. (Maybe she should get a few fighting tips from Syd Blakovich?)

· Buy tickets to Ellis Mania (ticketmaster.com)
· Ellis Mania (xoxojoannaangel.com)

And what did they see while they were there? Fans! Sex toys! Pornstars! The red carpet! Pretty much the same things as everyone else, actually (though they managed to sneak in some behind the scenes footage from real live porn sets and copious ads for sneak peeks of "Pirates 2", you know, to keep things interesting).

We watched the whole special so you didn't have to—and we've clipped a few of the more interesting moments for your enjoyment. Above, Wicked's Elektra Blue discusses some of the hazards of working in porn, below, Melissa Lauren talks about how she went from being a pastry chef to a pornstar.

· G4TV (g4tv.com)

· AEE, Friday 1/9/09 (drivenbyboredom.com)
· AEE, Saturday 1/10/09 (drivenbyboredom.com)
· AEE, Sunday 1/11/09 (drivenbyboredom.com)
· Burning Angel AVN Party at Beauty Bar (drivenbyboredom.com)

· Outrageous AVN (lastnightsparty.com)

· Eon McKai Goes To AEE 2009 (eonmckai.com)

We can't wait until this catches on with all those fitness-crazed housewives!

· Madison Young (madisonbound.com)
· Syd Blakovich (sydblakovich.com)

So who was crowned with glory, and who was left to cry into their dirty martini? View a selection of the award winners below (the full list is available at avn.com).

Best Film - "Cry Wolf," Vivid Entertainment Group
Best Male Newcomer - Anthony Rosano
Best Actor - Evan Stone, "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge"
Male Performer of the Year- James Deen
Best New Web Starlet - Bree Olson
Web Starlet of the Year - Catalina Cruz
Best New Starlet - Stoya
Best Actress - Jessica Drake, "Fallen," Wicked Pictures
Best Director Feature - Joone, "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge"
Female Performer of the Year - Jenna Haze
Best Video Feature - Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge
MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year - Lisa Ann
The Jenna Jameson Crossover Star Of The Year - Katie Morgan

· 2009 AVN Award-Winners Announced (avn.com)

If we were going to be all technical about it, we'd tell you AEBN's Real Touch is a cyberdildonics device, one that responds to input from porn movies, mimicking the star's actions to make it feel like you—yes, you!—are actually receiving that blowjob from Sasha Grey. We'd also tell you that it's one of the most remarkable male sex toys we've ever seen—even without the porno interfacing. But the truth is, once we put our fingers inside its robo canal, and felt the ribbed lining massage our fingers (and the opening clamp around them from time to time), there was really only one thing we could possibly think: Holy shit, they've finally made a robopussy. Demo video above.

· Real Touch (realtouch.com)

Why the name change? Was Faye through a Katsuni-esque lawsuit, and forced to abandon her nom du porn?

"I found out it was a cartoon character," Faye told us.

Well, a Faye by any name still fucks as sweet, right? Especially when she's wearing such an adorable outfit. And, uh, getting her boobs grabbed by Prinzzess.

· Faye Reagan (clubfayereagan.com)

We stopped by her booth to find out why, exactly, she decided to set up shop at the porn show.

"Well, I normally go to craft fairs, but this year I decided to try something a little different," she told us.

Well, Felicia, we wish you the best of luck.

· Mood Lights (mood-lights.com)

A quick trip to the Wicked booth revealed that the company is now the distributor of the Abby Winters DVD line, bringing American audiences all the Intimate Moments, Girl-Girl, and Solo Girl content they can handle. Sure, it's not the same as a scantily clad girl dogpile, but, well, we'll take what we can get.

· Abby Winters (abbywinters.com)
· Wicked (wickedpictures.com)

"This year I have a podium!" she exclaimed. "Last year I was at the Naughty America booth, and they had us on a bed, and there was no personal space. But now I can keep my distance. And if I want to be nice..."

She leaned her elbows on the podium top, and bent over to reveal just how nice she could be.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

"Are you here for the whole show?" we asked, hoping she might be let out on bail a bit sooner.

"Yes," she told us. Last year she'd been at more than one booth, and the stress of going from booth to booth had convinced her that committing to just one signing station was probably for the best.

On the plus side, we're pretty sure that Jules Jordan inmates are allowed regular conjugal visits.

· Melrose Foxxx (clubmelrosefoxxx.com)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

· Penny Flame (pennyflame.com)

Thank heavens for Fleshlight Girls—aka Fleshlights with openings in the shape of your favorite pornstars' parts. Granted, a Fleshlight's probably a bit too big for your pocket—but it's certainly more portable than the real Tera Patrick.

Also makes for great wall art!

"Are you... Bree Olson?"

No.

"Ashlynn Brooke?"

Second time's a charm.

Thankfully, I was not the only one to make this mistake. While on the floor the next morning, a colleague told me that Bree Olson was on the floor—when a quick sojourn to the Adam & Eve booth revealed she had not yet arrived. Ashlynn Brooke, however, was happily signing over at the FyreTV booth.

· Adult Entertainment Expo (adultentertainmentexpo.com)

For the next few days, two members of Team Fleshbot (or as we like to call ourselves, Lux and Gram) will be reporting to you live from the Sands Expo Center, giving you an inside look at all the Vegas action (and trying really hard to get Supreme Commandresses Stoya and Joanna Angel to make out).

While we're in Vegas, the lovely and talented Auryn will be helping out with posts, making sure you get your daily dose of smut even as we (well, I) are getting terribly distracted by sexually harassing every Crush Object in sight.

See you on the flip side, kids!

· Adult Entertainment Expo (adultentertainmentexpo.com)

Straight from the desk of the AEE press staff:

For the first time ever at the 2009 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, fans will take center stage and display their “hottest” features and appendages, showing off their skills for the crowds at AEE. Fan attendees can vote for their favorite contestants in the heart of the main exhibit area on the FyreTV stage throughout the show from Friday, January 9 thru Sunday, January 11, 2009 at the Sands Expo Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.

AEE fan contests will include a worldwide search for the fan with the “hottest ass,” present mothers and fathers with the “hottest MILF” and “hottest FILF” titles, and select the “hottest fan” from the audience. Other FyreTV stage contests will award the fan who fakes the sexiest orgasm, wins the wet t-shirt contest, and skillfully pole dance. Couples can participate and compete against other couples in the Valhalla Vacation Club Game Show. Prizes will include exotic vacations to world famous resorts in the Caribbean and Mexico, a FyreTV set top box with free minutes, a complimentary evening at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club with limousine service, and cash prizes.

Of course, if you want to impress your favorite pornstars, you won't have to do all that. In fact, to win the hearts of your most adored Crush Objects, all you have to do is shower. (Seriously. Just ask Mika Tan.)

· FyreTV Stage Schedule (adultentertainmentexpo.com)