Fleshbot: john holmes

When Marilyn Chambers Was "Insatiable"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Heiress and starlet Sandra Chase (Marilyn Chambers) has everything but, as she tells anyone who will listen in "Insatiable," she doesn't have—oh wait. She has everything.

Insatiable 30th Anniversary Edition

Studio: Dynasty
Director: Godfrey Daniels
Starring: Marilyn Chambers, John Holmes, Jesie St. James, Serena, John Leslie, Mike Ranger, Richard Pacheco, Joan Turner

Review by: Gram Ponante

1980's "Insatiable" was a landmark in that it solidified a lack of conflict as an essential porn plotline. Between lounging in stateside mansions, jaunts in her Ferrari, or strolling through London with her aunt (doubtless the family of "Joan Turner" is still puzzling about that one), Chase lets us know that she's fine with her random string of encounters in jacuzzis, on pool tables, by the side of the road, and (of course) in dream sequences.

We learn that after her parents' and sibling's death in a tram accident in Switzerland (I'm not kidding), young Sandra decided to live her life the way she wanted. That's fine, but it seems like she was already doing exactly what she wanted when her dad was alive; in a flashback to the loss of her virginity, she is bent over the pool table by her father's rough and lusty gardener (David Morris).

Not that director Godfrey Daniels (now working as Stu Segall, producer of the Fred Dryer-tastic "Hunter" franchise) coasted; "Insatiable" is a competently shot and well-acted gem from a time that, as Chambers says in a pair of 2005 documentaries included on the generous disc, was "really wonderful."

Chambers is the main attraction of this movie. Athletic and sweet (we see her do a double-take on a box of Ivory Snow), Chambers radiates wholesomeness but just happens to be insatiable. This takes the form, in every instance but one (she picks up a hitchhiker) of things being done to her. Perhaps it is never enough, as the title implies, but she seems outwardly content.

We are also treated to an excellent, utterly unrelated to the movie, and inscrutable theme song, part of which goes:

"Sometimes love ain't nothing but a misunderstandin' between two fools
You gave me all your love love but what did I do? I broke all the rules
As far as I can see
Love's Insatiable to me
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me!"

The 30th anniversary edition, released by a well-connected Chatsworth distributor called Dynasty, features two commentaries by Chambers and Gloria Leonard as well as a pair of featurettes documenting Chambers' appearance at Hollywood's Pussycat Theatre in 1980 as well as a 2005 interview.

Chambers, who died early in 2009, was found by her daughter, McKenna, in a trailer in Canyon Country north of Los Angeles. Chambers refers to McKenna several times in the featurettes, saying she was the best thing to happen to her.

Born in Westport, Connecticut, Chambers found early success as a model ("Eileen Ford said I was too fat") in New York before moving to San Francisco. In addition to her Ivory Snow gig ("I was the mother on the box," Chambers says, "and - contrary to popular belief, that is not Brooke Shields as the baby") she played Robert Klein's girlfriend in the Barbra Streisand movie "The Owl and the Pussycat."

It was on a publicity tour for "Pussycat" that she arrived in and fell in love with San Francisco. Chambers hints that modeling work may have been drying up at that point, else she would not have answered an ad from porn kings the Mitchell Brothers in the San Francisco Chronicle.

"The form said, 'Are you comfortable with a balling role?" Chambers said, "and I wanted to believe it said 'a bowling role.'"

That film was "Behind the Green Door" and it made Chambers famous.

"Had I thought about it I wouldn't have done it," Chambers said. "And the look in my parents' eyes when they found out...."

Watching the documentaries with an understanding that Chambers was not happy with her life ("A lot of people are making a lot of money off my name," she says ruefully), and the knowledge that her plans for a series of sex instruction tapes would not come to fruition, it makes the viewer sad for the still-youthful Chambers.

Despite this, "Insatiable" as a document and the extras as a then and now snapshot (Chambers in cutoff jeans and no panties standing on Santa Monica Boulevard in 1980, before AIDS hit the porn world, driving off in a chauffered Bentley) are as compelling and poignant as they are sexy.

I would have liked to see Chambers' instructional videos. As a preview, she said that threesomes with friends were a bad idea. "That's fine and dandy," she said, "but call a hooker."

She also said that it was a woman's job to perfect fellatio.

"It's up to you to learn how to give a blowjob," she said. "Because he won't tell you."

We wish the sadder-but-wiser Chambers were still around.

· Dynasty (dynastygroupdvd.com)
· Marilyn Chambers - Beyond the far door (gramponante.com)
· Buy "Insatiable" (tlavideo.com)

Ancient Swedish And French Porn From The Empire State

Gram Ponante — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Just as the world is fascinated with America, what with our Arby's, Don Cheadle, and Totoro, so are we enraptured by the rest of the world. Today we look at the classic pornos "French Schoolgirls" and "Swedish Sorority Girls."

You should know that no Swedes or French were fucked in the making of these films.

Since it is illegal to film most actual schoolgirls (unless they're on the five-year plan), we already know that Porn provides an extended adolescence for 24-year-olds to jump into pigtails and schoolgirl drag. Sadly, that prospect is moot in "French Schoolgirls," a badly shot and poorly edited compilation from long before its 1980 release credit, in which no French is spoken and no schoolgirl is deflowered.

But it's especially interesting to watch classic porn; perhaps because not only are these women currently older than us, but they also just look older on film.

It's also fun to watch classic porn because of the widely varying standards. While we have plenty of filmmakers today who consider their work Art, the condition was rampant in the so-called Golden Age. Hence why two Brooklyn-accented women discussing their sexual fantasies on a waterbed whilst smoking cigarettes and generally appearing to be in their late 20's are somehow the basis for calling this film "French Schoolgirls."

To reiterate: aside from the scratchy pop music in the background, nothing about this film (shot in New York City) is French.

It's a pretty bad film by any standard, but shots of the New York subway and John Holmes in his prime (the film credits him as John "Wadd" Holmes - can you imagine watching "Black Snake Moan" with Christina "The Ice Storm" Ricci?) are compelling. Oh, and one of the women appears to be fucking Freddie Mercury.

"Swedish Sorority Girls," on the other hand (starring Colleen Anderson, Karen Havens, Roger Caine, Paula Morton, David Christopher, Samantha Fox [yes, that Samantha Fox], Vee Summers, Clea Carson, and Joey Silvera [as Joey Civera, for some reason]) at least makes an effort, even if it is a laughable one.

For one thing, it has snow. For another, all the Americans say "ja" a lot and call each other by Ingrid or Sven. When Ingrid's American cousin flies into what appears to be a snow-covered Albany airport, the Ikeaporn begins.

Like "French Schoolgirls," however, no pretense is made in this film to justify the sorority of the title.

Though both films were released in 1980 ("French Schoolgirls" appears much older), it is clear that, even then, producers were aware that they could pretty much get away with anything as long as nudity was involved.

And that is true even to this day. Sometimes I show a little nipple when I don't have enough cash for the tip at TGI Friday's.

But at least "Swedish Sorority Girls," with its snowball fights, gratuitous "Ja"s, and a blonde, tries.

· VCX (vcx.com)

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The Good Old Days

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:15:00 EDT

Though we try not to get too nostalgic (the past is past, man), it's hard not to feel a tinge of yearning for days of yore when watching a legend like John Holmes at work.

Really: once they made him, they must have broken the mold, burned its remains, and scattered them across the ocean. And you know who lost out in that equation? Us! What we wouldn't give for another John Holmes. Well, maybe some day...

· Buy "John Holmes: The Lost Tapes" (gamelink.com)

Secrets Of Seduction

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Follow us, if you will, back to a different era: a time when bosses could seduce their secretaries via clever use of aphrodisiac powders...and John Holmes was around to narrate and offer insight on the action. Oh, those were the days.

Granted, we can live without John's head popping up to narrate our more intimate moments...but we wouldn't mind getting our hands on some of that surefire sex powder. It could certainly come in handy sometimes...we'll leave the when and where to your imagination.

· Buy The John Holmes Three Disc Classic Collection #2 (gamelink.com)

The Golden Age: John Holmes Gives Us The Business

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:00:00 EDT

They sure don't make them like they used to... if by "them" you mean "male pornstars" and "they used to" you mean "John Holmes," that is.

True, there have been many advancements in porn technology over the years—but no matter how much CGI or robotics or special editing they cram into today's porn, they'll never be able to bring back John Holmes. But at least we can relive his finest moments through the magic of "video"... and that's almost as good right?

· Buy "The Treasure Box" (gamelink.com)

"Aunt Peg" And Her Precocious Niece

Gram Ponante — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Hairy flaps. Belly fat. The used car lot bendy balloon that is John Holmes' schlong. Golden Age porn has that, but reisssued classic "Aunt Peg" also has niece-fucking and the leopardine Juliet Anderson.

Aunt Peg

Studio: VCX/Cal Vista/NuTech
Director: Wes Brown
Cast: Juliet Anderson, Serena, Seka, Jamie Gillis, John Holmes, Shirley Woods, Michael Ranger, Dotty Hart, Michael Morrison

Review by: Gram Ponante

One of the classics of porn's Golden Age, the recently re-released "Aunt Peg" (1979) is the story of Peg Norton (Juliet Anderson), a predatory, high class smut producer. There is no arc in this movie whatsoever, as Anderson remains a predatory, high class smut producer throughout.

Among the many noteworthy elements of this movie is the disco catchiness of the "Aunt Peg" theme, a blend of the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" theme and "I Will Survive" with its empowering message of women on the move. But there's a twist:

"You're a winner! You know that you are!
Everyone loves you!
They hang on your side!
Nobody knows what you're feeling inside!"

Now what the hell does that mean?

We as moviegoers yearn to find out what Peg's inner conflict is, based on the carrot dangled by the last line of the theme song. And what makes this movie a porn trendsetter is that we never find out. The lyric leads nowhere. It is as if - shocking - the uncredited lyricist just needed something to rhyme with "they hang on your side."

Juliet Anderson was just past 40 when she made this movie and she looks fantastic in it. Peg fucks everybody. In fact, there are only two scenes she's not involved in.

One is between the adorable Dotty Hart and John Holmes. According to Holmes biography "John Holmes: A Life Measured in Inches," short brunettes like Hart were just Holmes' type. They play two characters on one of Peg's porn sets stealing a little alone type in between filming, and their chemistry is palpable. Holmes massages Hart and we actually see the elusive, oft-referenced but seldom seen 69.

(Anderson never liked John Holmes, "Inches" reports, and was one of the few people in porndom who never succumbed to his coke-addled charms, possibly because she was older and less gullible.)

"Aunt Peg" also is a pioneer of porn tropes like the Ridiculous Pickup Line.

Soon after the credits roll, Peg gives her production assistant of four years (the still-around Mike Horner) a handjob. For reasons that are utterly unclear given her promiscuous behavior throughout the movie, she has never coupled with him before. Her pickup line: "How long have you been working for me, Bill?"

It is not, however (and as I had erroneously thought) the source of the term "pegging." There is no such behavior in this movie.

Later Peg and an actress named Holly McCall team up on Billy Dee, an afro'd performer who obviously took his nom de porn from the actor who originated the role of Lando Calrissian but who instead was a ringer for Ted Lange.

"I want his hot tongue in my juicy clit," says Peg.

Meanwhile Peg's niece, Sheila (Sharon Kane) is in the Midwest hoping to visit her favorite aunt in liberal San Francisco. She has admired her older relative ever since she caught Peg fucking her dad.

(Wait for it...)

"I saw you and Daddy making love," Sheila says. "I got so wet that I had to run out to the living room and fuck my boyfriend."

This, dear friends, is why porn thrived despite poor acting (the exception in this movie is Jamie Gillis, who can teach Evan Stone about the word "ham"): there are things in some of these early movies that are just a little shocking. Then there's more: Sheila is only 16.

As she's packing to go, her boyfriend laments her impending absence.

"Who will I have to hold? And to hug?" he pleads.

"School will be starting in three weeks," she says. "You know? 12th grade?"

By now we can see that the movie only has a little more left to go and we wonder what the possible resolution could be. Well, there is none. Sheila gets to San Francisco (we see Anderson and Kane at the arrivals terminal of SFO), they get in a car, and they fuck. Related? No problem. Just 16? No problem. This was 1979.

"You're only 16 and you have the body of a woman, Sheila," says Peg, laying it on. Then the movie ends.

Of course, it is only illegal for actual minors to perform in porn movies. Kane was 24 playing Peg's 16-year-old niece. And "simulated incest" is only creepy, not a crime.

I can't imagine that anyone has ever thought "Aunt Peg" was a good movie. But it is a sensational movie. And sensational movies aren't usually good. That said, "Aunt Peg" is pretty damn good for a sensational movie (and if you look closely, both Kiss and Mork make cameos).

· VCX (VCX.com)
· Buy "Aunt Peg" (gamelink.com)

Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:29:45 EDT

That's right, an original unsullied film print of "Johnny Wadd"—the first movie in the classic John Holmes series—was recently discovered in a storage locker and will soon be released on DVD. (It was never even released on VHS.) We hope collectors don't blow their ... you know. (avn.com)

John Holmes And The "Call Girl From Hell"

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:00:53 EDT

Maybe we're missing the part where she grows horns (or even spookier, a full-fledged vagina dentata) and starts spewing fire, but we have a hard time figuring out why exactly this woman is the "call girl from hell." She comes to your hotel room, sucks and fucks (no easy task when the john in question is John Holmes!), and pees in a chamber pot while you watch and jack off ... sounds like the call girl from heaven if you ask us. Working girls really do get no respect.

. . .

· Vintage Hardcore Sex (megarotic.com)

Porn's Greatest Acting Moments: Because Everyone Loves Thespians

Jonnobot — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:02:39 EDT

While we disagree with their assertion that it's impossible to be good at both acting and sex (though it's way too early in the week for us to try coming up with an example to refute it), we have to hand it to the folks at Uber for devoting their latest top ten video extravaganza to the Greatest Acting Performances In Porn History: not only did they manage to find (or sneak) a bunch of porn clips on YouTube, they also managed to narrow their selection down to only ten. Surely that deserves some sort of Special Achievement award in itself.

· The 10 Greatest Acting Performances In Porn History (unibrow.uber.com)
· Above: Viv Thomas' "Single White Female Seeks ..." @ YouTube

Video Playpen: Classic Pornstar Tribute

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 17 May 2007 16:27:44 EDT

Like we said earlier this week, old pornstars never die ... they just have videos of their performances floating around on the interweb forever. Stag films and and back issues of titty magazines may not be passed down through the generations by kindly older brothers any more, but it's still nice to know that we no longer need to scavenge some old man's yard sale to witness the meeting of powerhouses Ginger Lynn and John Holmes, or thrill to the dramatic (and well acted!) tale of Honey Wilder's nephew's journey into manhood, or marvel at the incredible politeness of a young Ron Jeremy. Take a trip with us as we sample the golden age of porn from the '70 and '80s ... okay, maybe some '90s sneaks in there too. Only one thing is for sure—they don't make 'em like they used to.

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· Honey Wilder, Nephew + "Friend" (Haporn)

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· Ginger Lynn and John Holmes (PornoTube)

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· Ginger Lynn and John Holmes (Again) (PornoTube)

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· Lisa Deleeuw and Ron Jeremy (PornoTube)

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· Christy Canyon and Ron Jeremy (PornoTube)

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· Christy Canyon and Harry Reems (PornoTube)