You know, we spend so much time writing about unusual and outrageous stuff around here that we sometimes lose sight of the simpler things in life—like getting you off. And when all is said and done, getting you off is what makes us happy! (Well, that and the new guy at the gelateria around the corner who always wears these short-cut t-shirts that ride up a couple of inches on his backside when he bends over to dig out our scoop of dulce de leche; those things make us happy too.) So in an effort to please ourselves and you, gentle reader, we present today's not-so-exhaustive roundup of pure down-and-dirty amateur hotness. No plushies, no clothespins, no bowling balls up the anus this time—just hot solo action. You can thank us later.

Has this ever happened to you? You're slung up on the interweb getting your jack on when you stumble across a nice hot vid of some other guy doing the same thing. Everything is hunky-dory, and since you've got a meeting in like ten minutes you've really gotta wrap it up, and you're almost there ... and then all of a sudden, the guy in the video pops a load on his cat or pulls a bottle of hairspray out of his ass, and you're all like, "Whoa, didn't see that coming," and the moment is pretty much gone? Well, that's exactly what happened to us with each of videos in today's roundup. (Not that it stopped us from, uh, continuing to pursue our goal—or missing the meeting, for that matter—but then we're trained professionals where these things are concerned.) See why amateur porn and surprises don't mix after the jump.

Here at Fleshbot, we understand that lust is a many-splendored thing. Some go for twinks, others like them chubby, and some—we're not naming names—dig inanimate objects like that hot new Braun coffeemaker in the break room. You know, the one with those sleek, sexy curves and that soft, perfectly rounded orifice from whence pours the hottest, richest coffee we've ever tasted ... But we digress.

Still, most of the gays we know would probably agree that watching straight boys in solo action is just plain hot. Whether it's the allure of forbidden fruit or that delectable frisson of watching them masturbate even though they thought putting "4 Da Ladiez ONLY!!!" in their video description meant that only ladiez would be watching them, straight guys offer something for everyone. (Unless, of course, you like to watch guys getting it on together—in which case, you might want to move on to another post.)

So how was your weekend? Ours was downright nutty! First there was a call to go waterskiiing, then a call about some swanky restaurant opening, then a call about a surprise party for a friend. Sadly, by the time we finished answering all those damn calls, we were far too tired to do any of those interesting things, so we spent the weekend doing what we always do: surfing amateur porn sites on your behalf. (Truly, a nutty weekend. Ha!)

Tuesday's Gorgeous Mosaic of Porn

We here at Fleshbot are fully committed to a diverse workforce, especially in porn. Whether you're a fresh-faced Near Eastern newbie with a 'round-the-clock hardon or a mature muscle daddy who's been around the block a time or two or seven, you are entitled to your moment to (spit) shine. However, you might want to consider getting some financial compensation before putting your ass and other parts out there—believe us, they'll be out there for a long, long time. Of these two clips we found this week whilst trawling the video sharing sites, who do you think had the wisdom to get paid in advance?

· "Turkish Man [sic] of Istanbul" (YouPornGay.com)
• "Daddy Flies Solo 2" clip (PornoTube; more @ Pantheon Productions)

Meet Minion1: Sexual Hero Or Crazy Person?

Over the weekend, the super-secret sex operative who goes by the handle Minion1 posted yet another thoroughly ballsy video of himself being very naughty in a bookstore on XTube. (We hear Arianna Huffington sometimes has that effect on people. Not us, you know, but "people". Maybe we should give Amazon a rest and go back to IRL shopping for a while?)

Take a look after the jump and let us know: is he kinda awesome or just plain nuts?

"Real Dick", Real Good, Right Here

The YouPorn Naked JO Workout: Who Needs A Wii Fit Anyway?

Lars And The (Possibly Real) Jerkoff Video

Super Shooter Will Save Us All!