Fortunately, Hustler's happy to provide all the things the CW denied us: enter "This Ain't 90210 XXX," a sexier spin on the lives of those crazy kids from Beverly Hills. Now if they could just manage to include AnnaLynne McCord's nipple...we'd be all set.

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This week, director Van Styles brings together this all star cast to showcase their beautiful booties taking the fucking of their sweet young lives. And you know who wins? That's right. All of us do. Judging from the handful of amazing sample pictures they sent over, we bet you had already guessed that much.

Take, for exampl,e the ample posterior of stunning petulant diva Jenny Hendrix, which juts out precariously from the rest of her perfectly proportioned body with absolutely no regard as to how it will affect our delicate sensibilities. Under Van's steady, devilish direction, Jenny's orchestrated sexual performance creates severe swelling in specific regions of our bodies, causing euphoric bursts and intense cravings that haunt us for hours on end. Her droolworthy ass and high pitched moaning are enough to keep us well under her spell for years to cum.

Similarly Alexis (oh my sweet Buddha) Texas submits another award worthy performance, grinding those full round cheeks up and over the rigid tool of her lucky lover as he plunders the hot, tight, pink depths of her luscious honey hole.

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Bree Exposed

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Jenny Hendrix, Missy Stone, Charlie Laine, Danny Mountain, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue

Bree Olson only appears in two scenes! I know I'm being greedy, but I was hoping for more. Naturally, the quality of her scenes more than makes up for the quantity, as Bree is a powerful force in her respective segments with Anthony Rosano and Tommy Gunn.

Since Anthony has the first scene, you'd expect him to set the pace for the rest of the actors. While his unchained fucking certainly typifies the wild tone of the film, I wouldn't designate him the golden standard of "Bree Exposed." Mr. Rosano gets very, very sweaty. Like, just-got-caught-in-a-monsoon sweaty. Also, he finishes by jacking off on Bree's feet and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe that's a good thing?

The following four scenes are also wet and surprising, but in different ways. Mick Blue brings Missy Stone to squirt before embarking on a long anal engagement. Then there's a lesbian intermission with Ava Rose and Charlie Laine involving a rather ornate but uncomfortable-looking chair. Next, Bree seduces Tommy with an oh-so sensuous booty dance. Finally, Jenny Hendrix and Danny Mountain use the only bed in the movie for some very intense reverse cowgirl action.

As hot as all of the performers are, I felt the sound was the sexiest part of the movie. One moment you're listening to Bree describe the prodigious veins of Tommy's cock (prodigious, by the way), and the next, you're eavesdropping on the whispers between Jenny and Danny. It really says something when you can enjoy a porno with your eyes closed.

The only thing that soured my audio love affair was the ambient music. Before every scene you're treated to either an Enya techno remix or Gregorian chant-break beats. A minor concern, but it causes me to wonder what overall feel Andre Madness wanted to impart.

The straight story is this: there are five hot scenes that stand out strong against any environmental oddities that may exist. With every new scene, you can feel yourself getting excited, impatient, and just generally happy to see the performers. It's that Christmas-morning feeling that can't be faked, and it comes from the talent and enthusiasm of the actors.

And that's why I want to see more of Bree Olson: you can stare at her for hours and it won't damage your retinas.

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We like to think he's referring to the artist's lesser known "Rose Period" from 1904 to 1906, characterized by his cheery style, bright colors, circus people, comic harlequins, and professional sex workers specializing in severe anal acrobatics. Don't believe us? Look it up, people. Yeah, with the interGoogles.

We sympathize completely with what must have certainly been quite a dilemma for the Canadian stud, having undoubtedly plowed the zesty anal depths of some of the most beautiful and morally challenged women the adult entertainment industry has ever seen. Where, oh where, to begin?

In the end, Everhard selects the finest of his sphincter stretching episodes, giving us an utterly amazing sampling of breathtaking beauties and their fully blossomed rosebuds.

"Big Fucking Assholes" stars Katja Kassin, Lauren Phoenix, Katsumi, Melissa Lauren, Amy Ried, Aline, Sandra Romaine, luscious Jenny Hendrix, and Janet Alfano. If their assholes weren't that "big" to begin with, they certainly were by the time he finished cramming his massive tool up into their lunch.

"Big Fucking Assholes" is out this week, from Erik Everhard and Jules Jordan Video. Grab a copy, you know, to get your lover in the right mood tonight, along with some anal ease, a butt plug, a gallon of lube, a rubber mask, and a box of fine wine. While you're at it you might want to up your health insurance to that gold plated shit Senators are always bitching about.

Now check out these ungodly shots way up into the plumbing of young babes and let us know if you think they are just as pretty on the inside. We can't wait to see how fast our comments section fills up after that last, um, crack.

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Otherwise, you're just looking for trouble—not to mention the headache of extremely devoted fans arguing incessantly over your casting choices (though, in all honesty, that's bound to happen no matter what. Don't you people have jobs?).

While we're sure the subject will quickly devolve into an irredeemably bottomless thread in our new and improved comments section (hint hint), we're still going to go on record and say that you can find no better examples working today than Lisa Ann, Alexis Texas, Jenny Hendrix, Kristina Rose, Phoenix Marie, and Sarah Vandella, effectively the cast of Jules Jordan's "Ass Worship 11"—and leave it at that. Now, that doesn't mean you can't find ladies with equally impressive derrieres in the industry, just that this 11th volume from Jules is a fine sampling of young and seasoned performers with the golden badonkadonk.

We've long been fans of Jenny Hendrix. That's no secret. The fact of the matter is that we are all for the idea of people worshiping her sweet sweet bubble. That's why when we saw her go airtight in this new release (that's right—she gets DP'd while sucking a cock—see for yourselves!) we just about lost our minds.

Just as impressive is the industry's most famous MILF, Lisa Ann, pulling a DP with James Deen and Eric Everhard. We were amazed to see her take Everhard's full girth all the way up her tiny pucker before taking a full on dirt pipe milkshake. Way to go, Lisa Ann!

"Ass Worship 11" comes out today from Jules Jordan Video. Get on your knees and thank God before you spank one out to these awesome images. Have a great weekend!

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So it's with a heavy heart that we must admit that our biggest reaction to "Not The Cosbys" was, well, disappointment. It wasn't the central cast, or the quality of the sex scenes, or the plot, or Thomas Ward as Cliff Huxtable—no, all those things were quite stellar, actually. The thing that left us less than thrilled was actually a (seemingly) minor thing: there were just too many white people in the film.

Now, we're not naive, and we are familiar with porn's...interesting take on race; more to the point, we know that it was already a big deal for X-Play/Hustler to back a project with an all black headlining cast. But was it too much to ask for them to just run with that, and give us a predominantly black "Not The Cosbys"? Apparently so: of the six sex scenes, only one features black-on-black love (well, two if you count Misty Stone's masturbation scene).

But we should tell you more about the things we actually liked about the film.

As with his previous "sitcums," Will Ryder successfully recreates the feel of "The Cosby Show"—especially with the casting of Thomas Ward as Heathcliff Huxtable, clearly a role he was born to play (the man's a shoo-in for Best Non-Sex Performance at the 2010 AVN Awards). The plot, too, is reasonably Cosby-ish: Denise struggles with whether or not to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Malik, Cockroach and Theo sneak into a sexy slumber party, and the family takes a trip to Hillman (our fingers are crossed in the hopes that "Not The Cosbys 2" includes some "A Different World" crossover).

And then, of course, there's the sex: first up is the aforementioned Denise (Misty Stone) masturbation scene (clearly intended to relieve some of the stress of her virginity-related angst). Next we find ourselves following Denise and her boyfriend Malik (Dick James) to a co-ed sleepover, which naturally turns out to be an all out orgy. Uncomfortable with the pressure to perform, Denise leaves—and, of course, her boyfriend stays, and wild sex ensues.

And this is where the feature takes its first—and biggest—misstep. It's an unwritten rule of porn parodies that the more invented characters a porn parody relies on, the weaker it is; so to have the first major sex scene entirely populated with invented characters (and predominantly white ones, at that) is a big strike against the feature.

Thankfully, the rest of the scenes manage to include at least one Cosby character in the mix. Scene Three finds Theo (Tyler Knight) and Cockroach (Tee Real) heading back to the sleepover/orgy, where Theo gets it on with stripper Charmaine (Tori Black); Scene Four is a flashback to Claire's (Monica Foster) time at Hillman, with Danny Mountain as her college boyfriend; Scene Five pairs Vanessa (Melody Nakai) and Cockroach (Tee Real), for some much anticipated all black sex; and, capping it all off, Denise loses her virginity (on her parents' bed, no less!) to Patrick (Scott Lyons) in the very final scene.

In the same way that "The Cosby Show" helped white families across America welcome a middle class black family into their homes, we'd been hoping that "Not The Cosbys XXX" would help white porn consumers enjoy the pleasures of all black love. Alas, it seems we raised our hopes too high. But hey, a big studio feature with this many black performers is still nothing to sneeze at. Here's hoping it's the first step in a more colorful future of porn.

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But Chase Evans, Priya Rai, Kristina Rose, Carmel Moore, and Jenny Hendrix manage to live up to their predecessors with the age-old recipe of filth, filth, and more filth. The latest Robby D Mess features boy/boy/girl, butt sex, choking, facials, copious amounts of lube—and, regrettably, a bit of ass to pussy to mouth action (at least we now know what they mean by that "don't try this at home" disclaimer).

There is so much filth, in fact, that there's barely room for any plot: Priya Rai is a hooker tending to Tommy Gunn's needs, and Carmel Moore is naughty wife who gets to screw her husband's best friend (and her husband, too, at the same time!). Beyond that, however, it's just straight up sex: but really, do you need more?

Viewers with a whole lot of lust, but very little time, will be pleased to know that the special features include a, ahem, cum shot compendium. Because sometimes, you need a shot of cum to really start the day off right.

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Jenny Hendrix is an excellent mixologist. Her signature drink is called a Liquid Panty Remover and consists of a can of Fuze Slenderizer and vodka.

Stoya is a big fan of Lychee liquor mixed with Sprite. She didn't have a name for it so we're going to call it a Triumph of the Will in honor of her recent exploits.

Wicked contract star and all-around down-to-earth person Kirsten Price nevertheless is partial to anything with Grey Goose in it.

"I like the Greyhound, which is Grey Goose with grapefruit juice in it," she said. "Plus the grapefruit speeds up your metabolism."

Kayden Kross drinks maybe once a month, but it's still hard to distrust the clean-living, horse-riding dollop of sunshine. "When and if I drink," she says, "I drink cosmopolitans."

Have you ever invented a drink?

"No," she said, "I really don't drink much."

If a reader were to send you a drink recipe and name it after you, might you drink it?

"Yes," she said. "Now leave me alone."

(She didn't actually ask to be left alone.)

New Jersey's own Tommy Gunn, now that he lives in California, can't tell one season from another, which makes his drink of choice an evergreen one, whether he is servicing women or hunting them with his crossbow.

"Shots of Patron," he said.

Bree's Big Campout

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Jim Malibu
Cast: Bree Olson, Faye Reagan, Jenny Hendrix, Alexis Breeze, Annette Allen, Dirty Harry

Review by: Gram Ponante

Bree Olson is going to Arizona. You'd think she'd be crushed by this, but she's not. I experience suicidal ideation whenever I have to go to Arizona. But it's not about me—it's about Bree. Instead, she decides to throw a big campout with her sexy friends!

You see, our Bree just graduated from high school and she's headed to a "really awesome" school in Arizona for pre-med.

I will not bore you with the details of how Olson, Faye Reagan, Jenny Hendrix, Alexis Breeze, and Annette Allen become naked in tents, on blankets, and in pools. Just know that they do, and that's all that matters.

"Bree's Big Campout" is the type of porn movie that can be remade every two years with different people; it is a perfect example of a wholesome adult movie you'd want to include with anyone's 18th birthday card.

Everyone looks good in this movie, particularly Olson, Jenny Hendrix, and Alexis Breeze (though we do fear they're going to burst into flame and/or get sand in their parts) and the chapters are set apart by clever vlog entries by the characters. There is even a cameo by Dirty Harry as a creepy park ranger. Unlike his appearances in JM movies, Harry does not spend his time in "Bree's Big Campout" weeping or screaming.

As cross-country rival Digital Playground is cleaning up on occupation-based fetishes like nurses, babysitters, and cheerleaders, I think Adam & Eve should capitalize on events. I'd love to see Kayden Kross doing a timeshare pitch porn or barbecue flick, and maybe Bree can follow "Campout" with "Bree's Big Bachelorette Party."

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Girlfriends???

Studio: Third World Media
Director: Ed Hunter
Cast: Talita, Paola Felix, Erika, Gisely, Nicole, Thays, Nataly, Paola Lima

Review by: Gram Ponante

When it became clear that Girlfriends? was about trannies in trysts with bio-women, I wondered if there'd be a part of each scene devoted to The Reveal. After all, it is well-documented that women only engage in Sapphic relationships because they've been hurt by, or wish to get back at, men, and to have the woman to whom you've entrusted your vengeance reveal that she, too, is a dude must be a Great Moment in Cinema.

I also wondered, as a pornologist, how the trannies themselves must feel about an encounter with less-Adam's Apple-y versions of themselves.

So this movie, with its simple but ambiguous title, has a lot of context in it already.

But if Talita and Paola Felix were surprised or jealous of each other in Girlfriends?' opening scene, none of it is made plain. This is probably because they have rich inner lives.

Talita, who looks like a combination of Elizabeth Berkeley and Jenny Hendrix (above the waist) and who has a penchant for looking at the camera, performs better and appears to be enjoying herself more than most trannies, perhaps because she feels she might be fucking a mermaid.

It is unclear from the credits who is who. International Porn Naming Standards dictate that the female be listed before the male in every pairing but IPNS are hazy on Tranny/bio-woman scenes. So I assume that Talita is the transsexual here, simply because it sounds a little Fabulous.

Erika, who is listed first in the credits in a scene also featuring Gisely, is less so. Gisely is a ripe Sao Paulo beauty and Erika seems to be her rough-talking cab driver.

A slightly disturbing scene is the one between Nicole and Thays. Nicole, you see, is uncircumcised and is the first of this group who seems like she might be not particularly attracted to her partner, who seems perfectly nice and would have no trouble catching hetero fellas. But in their post-coital shower scene (a staple in Ed Hunter's tranny movies, we've found), all seems forgiven.

Some sort of transsexual tectonic shift occurs in the final scene between Nataly and Paola Lima, however. Lima, the bio-woman, seems to be rocking the disaffected hooker look normally donned by transsexuals in such films, whereas the (again, uncircumcised) Nataly is, by comparison, all sweetness and light.

While I would have welcomed an attempt to dramatize The Reveal a little more, Girlfriends? is a good example of an emerging niche with somewhere to go; when confronted with the idea of trannies and bio-women, we think: "What might that look like?" and "That might actually happen!" as opposed to our feelings about Transsexual MILFs and Transsexual Babysitters and Barely Legal Trannies.

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When they say they're plugging the hot cracks of naughty legal teen hookers full of hard pipe, you had better believe that they mean it!

Brynn Tyler, Shawna Lenee, and Jenny Hendrix lead the charge, with anal exploits from Kacey Jordan, Evelyn Lin, Tia Thomas, Tori Black, Stephanie Cane, Lana Violet, Lilly Kingston, and Alexa Jordan filling out the rest of this amazing title—and, of course, making us drool all over our keyboards.

Each and every single one of these girls has what it takes to make the grade. Specifically: a tight pucker of love, and the willingness to stretch it to unfathomable lengths full of throbbing meat stick. It's always a pleasure watching zesty young slut Shawna Lenee get fucked in any hole, much less to see her get her back door pried all the way open. The look on her face at any given moment, or young Miss Hendrix's, for that matter, when she's getting drilled hard, is absolutely priceless. We'd give her passing marks for that alone. Greedily slurping up a shot of hot spunk? Gotta call that extra credit!

"Getting All A+s 6" releases this week from Digital Sin. Enjoy your weekend, and try not to hurt yourself looking at this exclusive sneak peek.

· New Sensations
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Not that we're surprised that they went above and beyond. Since when is enough ever really enough for these geniuses? Clearly, never. Ever. Period.

Which is why this title starts out with two of the sexiest bitches the adult industry has ever seen just flat out going at each other. Jenna Haze looks so amazing we can barely sit still while looking at our monitor, especially when you put her right next to luscious young Teagan... with both of their asses and nectar-glistened slits pouting out at us ever so temptingly. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but these shots are worth a million glazed eyes, dumbfounded and looking on in speechless wonder.

Saucy Teagan takes the sweetest fucking next. Why do all these shots leave us feeling like we were there with this sexy girl next door, convincing her to get dirty when there really just isn't time in the day for it? Every shot screams afternoon delight.

When it comes to man meat, Brianna Love and Gianna like double servings. Both ladies ski slalom with perfect balance, allowing several of their holes to simultaneously give and receive unimaginable pleasure to the happy man whores servicing them. Gianna's hefty jugs jog freely around as she slobbers lovingly on a rigid man pole, her partner uttering convincing moans of satisfaction—and again, we wish we were next up.

And how many times can we say it? We will never, ever, ever get tired of watching young Jenny Hendrix take a hard cock in any hole she pleases. Her curvy ass and petulant pout only make us want to grudge fuck her into next year.

"Teagan Video Nasty" releases next week from Digital Playground. Odds are you'll soon own a copy—but for now check out this great sneak peek gallery. Just remember your copyright laws and behave.

· All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

In fact, we directly credit the time we spent watching this exact sitcom—which made it's debut on ABC March 1st 1977, dead in the heart of our developmental years—as being the reason we ended up choosing this very career path. I am Jack's endless string of sexual innuendo.

Thus, when XBIZ's Director of the Year Will Ryder, creator of "Not the Brady's XXX," came to us and asked what we thought about him making "Not Three's Company XXX," and casting it chock full of cock all-stars like Brynn Tyler, Penny Flame, Nina Hartley, Jenny Hendrix, Madison Scott, Sienna West, Alyssa Hall, and Roxy Jezel pitted against cock masters Van Damage, Tommy Gunn, Dino Bravo, Scott Lyons and last, but not least, the original God of Fuck Ron Jeremy, we thoroughly approved.

Okay, maybe he didn't consult with us "per se," but he did invite us to the set, which is just as good. It was there that we learned that this sexy homage to our favorite trio involves Jack losing his job, Janet taking a night job, and the Ropers assuming she is now a hooker. Of course, unlike the sitcom, we actually get to see everyone screw their hearts out—hooray!

Brynn Tyler takes an amazing fuck session in her tight pink box from Eric Swiss. Pouting beauty and Hello Kitty addict Jenny Hendrix looks incredible getting drilled by skinny Lyons, and sexy Penny Flame takes a crack at Roxy Jezel's dusky crack. Legendary performer Nina Hartley puts her cock sucking skills to the test again, and we love seeing Tommy Gunn go "full Guido" with the hair, gold chain, and machisimo—even if every Italian knows that you never go "full Guido."

Still, in the end it's Van Damage who steals the show, nailing white hot Madison Scott and Alyssa Hall at the same time. We're big enough to admit we're more than a bit jealous: pint sized sexual powerhouse Madison Scott is well on her way to becoming Performer of the Year, and definitely a full fledged Fleshbot Crush Object. We heart her. Big time.

"Not Three's Company XXX" arrives in stores this week, just 32 years and a few days after the original show aired. Enjoy this exclusive extended preview set.

· "Not Three's Company XXX"· Sitcums (sitcums.com)

Well, it was lesser known... until now. That's where upstart visionary Kevin Moore comes into the picture, courtesy of Pink Visual. Now, we know what you're thinking. This is where we usually bury you under a pleasant but predictable barrage of questionably misogynistic sexual vernacular that makes our curious Jezebel lurkers cringe and flee in horror back to tamer masturbatory fare like Cosmo sex surveys.

We get it—but today just feels different.

And for the record, we've been at this for a hot minute—which means that after a while, it's all kinda like the background on a Flintstones cartoon. We just keep seeing the same thing go by again and again and a-fucking-gain. Different companies knocking off each other's ideas in a cannibalistic race to the bottom of the barrel—the same girls, the same dicks, the same "surprised" look on her face, and nearly identical titles.

After all, there are only so many ways to explain that "mighty meat mallets" or "pendulous pork swords" or "super sized cunt busting fuck hammers" are being "furiously pummeled" into the "sweet snug snatches" or "tight oozing cooze" or "banged out bungholes" of these young, innocent, but oh so willing, "cock addicted" "cum gargling" "fuck junkies"—with a straight face.

What makes this title different (finally) is the director. Kevin Moore just brings a different spirit to his work—and it makes all the difference in the world. The girls just seem to like him, and they open up, have fun, and pour their hearts, cunts, and assholes into the scene as a result. Check it out. They don't just look like they're having a gangster party with a ginormous fuck stick crammed into their grills or juice boxes—they actually are having a gangster party! Hells to the yeah, ninjas!

"Monster Cock Junkies 4" releases this week from Pink Visual. Enjoy responsibly.

· PInk Visual (pinkvisual.com)

And, given the inevitability of it all, we're glad to know that the project landed in such capable hands, with Will Ryder (of course) in the director's chair, and the alluring Crush Object Penny Flame in the role of Janet. John Ritter may be rolling in his grave right now—but at least the rest of us can look forward to promising porn movie. (At least we think it looks promising. Check out the trailer for yourself!)

· Not Three's Company XXX (notthreescompanyxxx.com)

New Sensations' "I Love 100th Edition," a 4-disc set containing 12 hours of scenes from Jenny Hendrix to Bree Olson to Shawna Lenee to Tia Tanaka to Ashlynn Brooke to Cassandra Calogera to Lorena Sanchez (and about 25 more names you'd recognize) underlines the opinion that, in the end, it is not stars but quantity of flesh that will help porn survive the economic downturn.

(Of course, the other opinion is that it is only the occasional emergence of someone with star quality that keeps porn afloat. It might be a little of both.)

In any case, this DVD set is a testament to the power of the quantity platform, and I have chosen to include pictures of weirdly-placed feet in addition to a large gallery. Enjoy!

. . .

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "I Love 100th Edition" (gamelink.com)

Santa's Revenge

Studio: Loaded Digital
Director: various
Cast: Jenny Hendrix, Evan Stone, Kelly Erikson, Melissa Lauren, Aria, Randi Wright, Annie Cruz, Jenny Lee McKenzie, Jamie Lee, Brian Surewood, Lee Stone, Ron Jeremy, Guy DiSilva, JJ Michaels, Dave Hardman, Earl Slate, Dave Dodge, Paul Coxxx

Review by: Gram Ponante

Santa (Evan Stone) lies passed-out on a couch, still clutching an empty bottle of Ripple. Porning mantis Jenny Hendrix, playing an elf, approaches.

"Put it in there, Santa," says Hendrix.

This is the one original entry in a collection that includes two scenes with Ron Jeremy as Santa (one, from 1997's "Gang Bang Under the Mistletoe," also has St. Nick as a drunk and looks, with hairstyles and eyewear choices, like it was made even earlier), and another scene with Brian Surewood as an elf. It was Surewood's name in the credits that sent up a warning flag, in that he's been in jail for more than a year.

So then we must ask, "Is Santa's Revenge everything the porn world feels the need to say about Santa?" That he is not only a connoisseur of Fine Ladies but also a drunk? And how does coming on a willing partner's face, chest, and neck constitute revenge?

I am not a fan of compilations (I feel it messes with the sacrosanct porn narrative), but I did enjoy a dialogue scene between Jeremy and Surewood, in which Jeremy, a propos of nothing - which is Ron Jeremy's M.O. - says, "Remember we went to Venice Beach to get our palms read, and she said we'd jerked away our lifelines?"

So if you want a ten-year retrospective of what the porn world thinks when it thinks "Santa" and, by extension, what it thinks of you by marketing a compilation as an original movie, by all means buy this film. You can also see porn stars no one has ever heard from again fucking by ancient computers, which I'm sure is a niche in itself, somewhere.

· Loaded Digital (loadeddigital.com)
· Buy "Santa's Revenge" (xonair.com)

Scouring the nation for the best and brightest of all the promiscuous young girls this fair land has to offer, Digital Playground once again settles for a handful of horny gals right in their own backyard—including several contract girls—in their impending release, "Jack's Teen America 22." Still, since the aforementioned sexpots happen to include Jenny Hendrix, Annette Schwartz, Sasha Grey, Teagan Presley, and Adriana Lynn, you won't hear us complaining much.

Although, for teenagers, they sure know a lot about sex. We've got to be honest.

So, maybe the casting selection for "Teen America" is a little rigged. So what? Watching delicious and low calorie Jenny Hendrix's gorgeous ass raised high and gaping is like hearing a klaxon ring out freedom's desperate cry. Her nether regions are that beautiful. Add to that the very succulent Sasha Gray, irresistible Teagan taking the A train straight to our hearts, and anything (and we mean anything) Adriana Lynn, and you have another exceptional volume in this tried and true series.

"Jack's Teen America 22" drops this week from Digital Playground. All images courtesy of Digital Playground so please behave.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.cm)

Ha! That's just what we thought! It's simply not possible to pass this goodness up, and that's what black super-performer of the decade Lexington Steele is banking on with his latest Jules Jordan release, "Lex the Impaler 4."

But breaking out of the original trilogy structure can be nerve wracking, right? Undoubtedly the question of how to uphold the integrity of the first 3 impalings, while stretching the boundaries in a believably rewarding ways, had to dauntingly weight his thoughts while his monster tool dauntingly weighted his hand. Ah, heavy is that crown the king must wear.

Lex answers the challenge by mixing some new school ripe cut-up like Jenny “My ass just don't quit, bitches” Hendrix, Gianna “Juicy Curves” Michaels, Kelly “Ass of the Year” Divine, and Raven Black, with OG booty from back in the day, including Tiffany Mynx and Lisa Ann. It's a dangerous gamble, since a handful of these luscious ladies have well jumped the shark—judging from the intensity of their pucker. The good news (for them) is that no matter how beat your veejay may be, having Lex slide all up in your guts will leave you singing "Like a Virgin" until your uterus clean falls out. Still, our unnaturally endowed protagonist doesn't discriminate, putting Dolemite to shame with his appetite's extraordinary range.

Guys don't have “landing strips,” so we guess that strip of glistening man fur between Lex's navel and nightstick must be a pube hawk. But when you're packing so much dick you could literally beat someone to death with it, no one calls you out for metrosexual behavior. We're thinking while he's at it, Lex might as well bedazzle his sack. Now that shit would be tight!

"Lex the Impaler 4" drops this week. Swallow your pride and go buy it.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Not that that was bad. Jenny Hendrix? Jaelyn Fox? Sara Vandella? Lana Violet? Still, as commenters pointed out, even a porn parody of "The Cosby Show" should have some black people in it. So today I met the full cast, including (from left, top) Tyler Knight as Theo, Misty Stone as Lisa, Monica Foster as Claire, an actor who has not yet chosen his porn name as Cliff (but he had the voice down cold), Cassidy Clay as Sondra and - both the following women are, in fact, 20 - Nina Devan as Rudy and Melody Narai as Vanessa.

The movie is directed by Will Ryder and produced by Scott David, who is also responsible for the 60 costumes for a dozen cast members. "I went to every thrift store in L.A. at least five times," he said.

I was there for two days and I still don't know what the plot is, but everyone was having an excellent time, including the dapper Tee Real, who plays Cockroach (seen here with the delicious Jaelyn Fox) and Dick James, whom I affectionately call Lucky Bastard, seen here with Sara Vandella, Fox, Jenny Hendrix, and Lana Violet.

I posed the obvious question to director Will Ryder.

"So," I said, "do you think - "

"Yes, I think we'll get sued," he said.

· All Media Play (allmediaplay.com)