Just give it, like, 38 seconds, and you'll see what we mean.

·Ice and Sexy (front.co.uk)

Yes, those are Lady Gaga's boobs—nipples and all—bound with a lovely bit of rope (this is Japan, after all). Do you think Vogue Japan might lend the photos to American Vogue, you know, the way lad mags trade photo sets across international borders? Yeah, probably not...but we'll be putting that on our Christmas wish list anyway. (Dear Ms. Wintour...)

· Lady Gaga (egotastic.com)

From what we've been told, "Erotic Ghost: Siren" is some sort of low budget "Reservoir Dogs." Only instead of Mr. Pink, we've got... Sola's pink. And a good deal of sex scenes—were there sex scenes in "Reservoir Dogs"?—one of which we've clipped here.

Be careful, though...we hear that Sola is deadly sexy.

· "Shin yôjo densetsu: seirên" (imdb.com)
·: "Erotic Ghost: Siren" (movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)

Though it's impossible to tell from this clip (or any of the others that we've seen, for that matter), "Jue Ming Pai Dui"—or "Invitation Only," if you prefer—is apparently a horror/thriller film. Thankfully, the director was kind enough to let Ms. Ozawa show off some of her sensual charms before subjecting her to whatever nasty fate the film has in store.

· "Jue Ming Pai Dui" (imdb.com)
· Maria Ozawa in "Jue Ming Pai Dui" (imdb.com)

What's got mothers-to-be taking their clothes off for the camera? The trend is most popular among older women having their first child, who see the photos as a way to commemorate a once in a lifetime experience—but it also helps that J-pop star hitomi published a naked pregnant photo of herself along with her last album.

We can only hope that this trend moves beyond Japan and all around the world. Hey, what can we say? We think pregnant ladies are hot!

· Japanese women celebrate pregnancy with maternity nudes (news.yahoo.com)
· More pictures of Hitomi pregnant (dirtyrottenwhore.com)

Hey, a girl needs something to serve with her F Cup Cookies, right?

· Niigata Bust Pudding from Japan (yuhmm.com)

Specifically, the role of hostess in Yakuza. We admit, we're not that familiar with the franchise, but if Rio does make it into the game (she's currently one of sixteen finalists), we'll be sure to pick up a copy. If these photos are any indication, she definitely knows how to make a player like us feel totally comfortable.

· Porn Actress In The Running For New Yakuza Game (kotaku.com)

Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)
Rio (jheat.com)

Photo via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)
Photo via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)
Photo via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)
Photo via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)
Photo via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)

And "fantasy" is the right word, because none of "Fresh Off The Boat 2" was filmed in the United States. Furthermore, there is some evidence to suggest that these prostitutes and/or AV Girls from Japan, Thailand, Colombia, and Brazil have never set a stilettoed heel on a boat.

Grams, you might say, does this mean that producers of this event are lying, that we don't get to sample the naive immigrant experience?

No, Grasshopper. It means that these postmodernist auteurs have turned the FOtB paradign on its head.

So it is you, the viewer, that is himself (let's face it, your girlfriend shouldn't know) fresh off the boat (2) in this situation, padding through unfamiliar terrain in search of women who have never heard of Tera Patrick (or Biohazard), don't know Chatsworth's zip code, and couldn't care less who was at the FAME Awards.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Fresh Off the Boat 2" (gamelink.com)

Who wants to chip in for our plane ticket? For a mere four thousand dollars, we can hop a plane tonight and be there in just two days.

· Nipple Flag Challenge! (buzzfeed.com)

Hitomi Tanaka Hardcore Screenshots (boobieblog.com)
Hitomi Tanaka Hardcore Screenshots (boobieblog.com)
Hitomi Tanaka Hardcore Screenshots (boobieblog.com)
Hitomi Tanaka Hardcore Screenshots (boobieblog.com)

Regardless, though, we'd like to learn more about this wonderful source of scantily clad Asian babes—and yes, we tried Google, but somehow "flash magazine" just doesn't turn up the plethora of Japanese girls we were looking for. (It does, however, turn up this, which is not at all what we wanted.)

So, uh, anyone have any info for us? Or want to buy us a subscription for our birthday? Cause that would totally rock.

· Flash magazine Japanese nude and sexy babes (more @ sexypix.thumblogger.com)

The women in this volume are adorable. Not puppy adorable or even Totoro adorable but "I'm going to be smiling all the way through this" adorable. Filmed in natural light as often as possible, "Teen Japan 2" feels like a vacation where the beds aren't made but the service is friendly.

Five scenes of businesslike, pants-off whimsy are provided in this movie and, even if one of the women reminds me unsettlingly of Scout in "To Kill a Mockingbird," well, all I'm saying is that Boo Radley did in fact come out.

So, Fleshbot readers, from Mexico to Japan to the Depression-era American South; don't say we never take you anywhere.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Teen Japan 2" (gamelink.com)

We won't say it's heartwarming, exactly, but it's also not horrifying. So, somewhere between "heartwarming" and "horrifying" is this series of coy-adjacent Japanese newcomers who are gently taught Porn Valley-style blowjob techniques, including the direction, akin to Yes We Can, to Always Look Up.

It's also a pleasure to see the likes of Itsuka out and about in Tokyo, timidly clutching her coffee before the day's deflowering, or a woman named Neon dressed in the garb of a holiday they don't really have there, similar to when I run around with my nuts out for Berchtold's Day, a holiday in Liechtenstein and Switzerland.

Speaking of nuts, well, what I meant to say was "bush." There is a lot of bush in this movie. And blessedly few nuts.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "I'm Camera Shy 3" (gamelink.com)

"Pissed Off Japanese Bitches" is a title we've covered before (even printing our first foreign-language headline) but today we've actually seen the movie and have a gallery to prove it.

It's important to remember that the envelope of traditional Japanese sexuality vis a vis porn can only be stretched so much before horrible snap-back occurs, so we'll have you know that each of these Japanese bitches submits to our collective will at the end and becomes gloriously, doughily naked. We wouldn't want the world to spin off its axis.

Still, once the Japanese Bitches have been subdued and banished to the sea, what will keep them from returning?

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Pissed Off Japanese Bitches" (gamelink.com)