Fleshbot: insertions

Evil Angel's "Anal Beach Buns": Doing It Circus Style

DCypher — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:05:11 EDT

Usually the directness of most porn movie titles tells you exactly what you can expect once you crack open that DVD case. And in some ways, Evil Angels' "Anal Beach Bums" does not depart from this tried and true formula: the movie contains more than its fair share of anal exploits, some of which we understand actually took place near a beach. But that title is a little misleading as well, or at least not entirely descriptive as it could have been. For, you see, "Anal Beach Bums" contains some of the most astounding circus-style sex acts we have witnessed in a long time.

Watch Bobbi Starr juggling large black balls while balancing between two giant rods! Thrill to the sight of Emilianna and Carolyn Reese performing death-defying feats of cunnilingus! Marvel as Ricki White and Rucca Page make one man’s meat completely disappear within their fleshy confines—and you won't believe how Velicity Von and her sexy assistant Lexi Love manage to charm Sean Michaels' raging python into submission!

Of course, you won't see Ashley Blue pulling a string of large anal beads from her nether reigons before getting tongue fucked by Melissa Lauren in any big top we know of. After all, this ain't your usual greatest show on earth.

• "Anal Beach Buns" (DVD info @ evilangel.com)

"Give Me Pink 4" Gives You More Pink (What Else Did You Expect?)

DCypher — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:30:25 EDT

Some of you might think that hot hardcore porn is all about guy on girl or guy on girl on guy or girl on girl or some other combination of guys and girls, but always involving multiple partners. Not so! In fact, sometimes there's nothing hotter than what a girl can get up to all by herself, as evidenced by the latest installment of Cruel Media's "Give Me Pink" all-solo girl DVD series.

The content on the "Give Me Pink" DVDs is culled from the website of the same name, and we don't envy the good people at Cruel Media for what must have been a difficult task in assembling their newest compilation: it can't be easy sifting through all that foootage of insanely beautiful women squirting and fisting themselves to bring us the proverbial crème de la crème. The very prospect is enough to make even the strongest-willed of men weak in the knees.

Maybe that’s why they chose a woman to do it: Directrix Clara G serves up a hot dish of hot chicks working over their hot selves with hot pink jelly dildos. The release features 7 solo scenes running over 3 hours starring Tanya James (with whom we are smitten), Alexis Love, Angie Savage, Sonya, Peaches, Eve Angel, and Zuzana Z (no relation to Zorro). Each one starts out her scene with fingers and gradually moves on to several different types (and sizes) of toys, and the sheer variety of positions and insertions is enough to elevate the title considerably above and beyond its virtually nonexistent competition. (Oh, and did we mention we're smitten with Tanya James? Just checking.)

• "Give Me Pink 4" (DVD info + previews @ julesjordanvideo.com)
• Give Me Pink (givemepink.com)

We were overwhelmed by the response to yesterday's ...

Jonnobot — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:50:25 EDT

We were overwhelmed by the response to yesterday's post in which we asked Fleshbot readers to tell us what turned them on, and have already started doing the research to bring you exactly what you've been looking for. While you're waiting, though, can we interest you in these photos of Eva Longoria canoodling with a fire hydrant? We're sure someone was going to get around to adding that to the request list sooner or later, and what with our busy schedules it's always nice to be able to cross things off our list whenever we can. (vanityspy.com)

Flesh Flicks: Good Help Is Hard To Find

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:52:47 EDT

Hiring sexy maids to clean up after you isn't just a rich guy thing. Rich women do it too! The only problem is, we can't figure out who is in charge here. The woman stuck doing the chores seems to be better dressed than the one who is just lounging around—and her dusting skills aren't that hot either. So who is in charge? And how come those shelves are still filthy? Honestly, how does anyone—man or woman—ever get their homes clean these days when all the hired hands want to do is make things messier?

. . .

· "horny lesbians" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The Burden Of Proof: Cruel Media's "All Internal 7"

Jonnobot — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:10:20 EDT

As you've already figured out from watching dirty movies, most contemporary porn involves proving to the viewer that complete sexual congress actually took place: hence the popularity of facial money shots, or money shots anywhere outside of a body cavity for that matter. So when we are confronted with a movie which trumpets the fact that said cumshots took place internally, we have to take it on faith that they really did happen.

All of which is an overinvolved way of introducing Cruel Media's "All Internal 7", in which we find everything that is good and wonderful about European porn: namely, hot but relatively anonymous babes with names like Bonny Bon and Beatrix and the exceptionally well-endowed men who attend to them.

But it's those internal popshots—not to mention the occasional sparkling wine enema—that distinguish this title from similar fare. So if the phrase "Hot Shots In Hot Babes!" (you know, as opposed to "Hot Shots On Hot Babes!") means something special to you, you've come to the right place. And considering the fact that all those otherwise internal popshots end up being dribbled into a champagne glass or otherwise expelled anyway ... well, maybe you don't have to rely on faith after all.

· Cruel Media's "All Internal 7" (DVD info + gallery + trailer @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Drunk Beachcombers Find Exciting New Uses For Empties

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:36:41 EDT

Do you hate those Corona beer commercials as much as we do? You know, the ones where all those stressed out yuppies totally get away from it all by hanging out on a beach and like, throwing their wallets into the ocean or something. Oh, and drinking watered down psuedo-Mexican beer. Well, apparently we aren't the only ones who have had enough and someone out there in internet-land decided to "re-interpret" the campaign in the only way that makes sense. Hey, with all those drunk people hanging out on the beach this was bound to happen eventually.

· Bottle (YouPorn)

Sex Blog Roundup: This Is For Your Own Good

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:57:15 EST

No matter how well-behaved a person might typically be, every now and then he or she will benefit from a little, uh ... loving correction, shall we say? It could be that their infractions are so mild that the stern application of a dildo will set them back on the right path. For mid-level offenders, a firm spanking or some enforced orgasms will do the trick. But for that chronic offender, nothing short of a public flogging—administered by a reproachful stranger, no less!—will correct their wicked behavior. Those are the toughest cases, and perhaps no amount of large-caliber weaponry will force them to straighten up and fly right.

Assume the position with Always Aroused Girl after the jump.

. . .

Sex Blog Roundup
by Always Aroused Girl

- - -

"a sadistic little fuck"

But far more often, I treat him like an exotic chocolate bar, taking him to bed with me and unwrapping him slowly, savoring the smell and anticipation forever before taking even a nibble. Or like a spider who has a wrapped-up fly - why devour it right away? It's not going anywhere.

This means we lie face to face in bed, close together (especially at his house, where he has only a twin sized bed), and I just look in his eyes, and we talk. Lately when we do this, he is usually desperate with arousal. That's hot for me, and frustrating for him. He'd rather be taken and devoured. I make him keep his hands away from his cock, sometimes with his arms crossed across his chest. I could do this forever.

- Devastating Yet Inconsequential

- - -

"Naughty Thursday Night with Darth Vader"

I got up and he surprised me by scooping me up in his arms and carrying me straight to the bedroom. He threw me onto our bed and told me to wait and not move. He went downstairs and got the toys and cooler bottle which still had my pussy juices all over it. He came upstairs and locked our bedroom door and came over to me with the toys. He plugged in the Hitachi and used it on my clit for a while before he stopped and turned his attention to the cooler bottle.

I've never been fucked by a bottle before. This was extremely intense and I could feel it filling me deeply at times when he shoved it in deep.

- Journey to the Darkside

- - -

"The Supermarket: A Daray Tale"

"Good boy, now go and slide down her pretty panties."

I feel his long, slim fingers slip under the lace at the side of my panties. He slides them down until they reach the tops of my garters. It's far enough, my ass is exposed and I wiggle it at him as encouragement. Dar keeps talking, his words finally spurring Tad to action as the first slap brushes my ass.

"Harder, Tad. You can't injure her by hitting her ass, no matter how hard."

- Urban Gypsy

- - -

"Fiction: What it Takes"

As for jacking the cock of Mackenzie's stud while Max gave her dirty looks? That was just hot. The boy toy was groaning now but that was alright. Mackenzie was too into her story and herself to even notice. Helen kept stroking the guy's cock, taking extra care to run her fingernail right over the tip with every thrust. She was pumping it so hard, her breasts were jiggling. They were threatening to fall out of her custom made dress. Helen almost wished they would just to see if Mackenzie would notice.

The pretty boy reached his hand under the table and tried to grab Helen's thigh. Despite the loudness of the bar, Helen imagined she could hear Max's growl. Helen squeezed the boy's cock as hard as she could and the boy whimpered in pain. He pulled his hand back like her thigh was on fire and very wisely kept his hand above the table. Helen rewarded him with a much gentler grip and resumed stroking him.

- Erotiterrorist

- - -

"Thirty-Eight Caliber Nipples"

He began inserting his fingers in me, loosing me up and getting the juices to flow. He covered the gun barrel with a condom and slowly began to insert it inside me. Back and forth he went, between his fingers and the gun until he was able to get it inside me. The protrusion on top of the gun was a bit pinchy. He took his time, forcing me to keep my legs spread open.

I jumped as he pulled the gun cock and released the trigger. Of course, it wasn't loaded, but the sound still alarms and he smiled at my reaction. He removed the barrel head and peeled off the condom. He began rubbing the polished steel over my stomach and breasts. Poised over my right nipple, he brought the barrel opening down and covered my nipple remarking that I had thirty-eight caliber nipples and that my clit was most likely a twenty-two.

- Venus Ropes

- - -

"Her and Mr. Yellow and Me"

By her tone, I could tell that she was going to that place again. Where it was her and whatever man she was picturing in her head, the lover she'd not yet felt comfortable enough to tell me about. My voice, the reminder that I was in the room with her, was a distraction.

By the time she came — five times, before she was through — she was bucking her hips, making the bed creak, as her body begged for more of his bigger-than-me cock.

- Joy, shared

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Thumbnail via Spank Pass (TGP/preview gallery @ spankbuxx.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Advertising for the Nintendo Wii may emphasize ...

Jonnobot — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:58:15 EST

Advertising for the Nintendo Wii may emphasize how it brings people together, but as one avid player demonstrates it totally rocks for solo play too. And isn't having a good time with yourself just as important as beating your friends in Wii Boxing? (postyourgirls.com - thanks B.)

Fireplace Porn: Grab Your Poker!

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 13:45:43 EST

You already know about our fascination with pool sex. A nice body of chlorinated water makes a perfect backdrop for any romantic encounter, but what to do in the cold, dreary days of winter when your backyard fun spot is covered with plastic tarp and dead leaves? You head inside to an even more romantic spot—the fireplace. We don't know if it's the crackling of the wood, the heat from the flames, or the ever-present danger that your house might burn to the ground, but few things can beat fucking in front of a nice warm hearth. As usual, our twisted friends at Pornzio are ahead of the curve on this sexy porn trend, but we added a few contributions of our own after the jump. So curl up with some nice hot cocca and marshmallows and try not to get singed.

. . .

· Masturbation with fire iron (YouPorn)

· Candy Fox (ammlovely.com)

· Teen masturbates with nunchucks in front of fire" (Megarotic)

· I Want to Fuck Near a Fireplace (pornzio.com)
· Top picture: Alectra Blue (askjolene.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks: Do The Math, Video Playpen: Pool Party!

Flesh Flicks: Hot! Dog!

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:27:07 EST

You've heard of vegansexuals, the folks that are so committed to not harming animals that they won't even fuck a meat eater? This video is like the exact opposite of that. Most health experts advise against eating processed mystery meat and mystery meat by-products, so you can only imagine what they think about sticking them in your hoo-hah. But hey, when you gotta eat, you gotta eat.

· "Messy Lesbians" (RedTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: See Monkey, Do Monkey

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 18:23:16 EST

Imagine coming down the stairs on the morning of a undetermined, non-secular holiday and finding a giant monkey with a oversized, beef jerky-like appendage in your living room. Would you be as excited to find such a present as these two girls are? They don't hesitate for even one second when it comes to getting down to business with their new simian friend—which may technically be an "ape" and not a monkey. It's important that we get this detail right, since anatomical accuracy was obviously so vitally important to the filmmakers.

· "Girl fucking big Monster's dick" (RedTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Revenge Of The Nerdcore Babes

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:04:12 EDT

What's our favorite new trend in video games? It's not the expansive multiplayer online environments or cooperative fantasy adventures. It's not even the cooler graphics and wireless remote controls. It's hot girl gamers who love to drape themselves in the actual consoles and games and send the pictures out over the interwebs. (Besides how can you tie someone up with a wireless controller?) Well, the nerdcore babes are back for more and we have to thank the boys over at Destructoid for sharing an exclusive bonus photo with us that you can see after the jump. We're not exactly Nintendo experts, but we are pretty sure you're not going to find any ducks to hunt in there.

· Nerdcore #8: Sexy half-naked women with videogames (destructoid.com)

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Previously: Return of the Nerdcore Babes, More Nerdcore: Naked Gamers

We wanted to say that this clip was the latest ...

Fleshbot — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 15:21:47 EDT

We wanted to say that this clip was the latest piece of evidence of the Strange Places Where Japanese People Have Group Sex except for the fact that horny cheerleaders are already a pretty common trope, which means this is a purpose-built porn video instead of actual documentary evidence of what goes on in a biology class, hospital, or public bus. Still, you never know. (And either way, you'll never look at one of those human pyramids in the same way again.) (pornhost.com, via Your Dirty Mind)

Video Playpen: Hitting The Bottle

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:37:48 EDT

It's Friday, which means as soon as the boss' back is turned it's time to sneak out early and find a bar where you can kick back and raise the old elbow. (Or just crack open that fifth of Cuervo that's hidden in your file cabinet and pass out under your desk until Monday morning. Not that we know anyone who would do that.) The only danger with either strategy is that once you've got a few in you, that wine or beer or liquor bottle might start looking pretty good ... and then we all know what happens next. The following group of tipplers may or may not have had one too many before "recycling their empties". But whatever they're doing, it's better than drinking alone.

- - -

· Slut Fucks Herself With Bottle (Shufuni)

- - -

· Delicious Belicia (Haporn)

- - -

· chateau (PornoTube)

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· Maryam Fucks With Banana And Wine (Shufuni)

- - -

· Bambi and Lora Craft in New Year's Night Special (Haporn)

- - -

· Wine Bottle (PornoTube)

- - -

· Bottle Sex (Shufuni)

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· Water Bottle - VERY EXTREME (Megarotic)

- - -

· Woman Inserts Bottle In To Pussy (Shufuni)

- - -

· Bottle fuck (Megarotic)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

Mondo Porn: The Wacky Side Of Smut

Fleshbot — Tue, 15 May 2007 13:07:02 EDT

Imagine if you will a Venn diagram (go ahead, we'll wait while you go look for your ninth grade algebra textbook) where one circle represents "Porn You Jerk Off To" and the other one stands for "Porn You Giggle At Before Sending The Link To Your Friends With The Subject Line 'OMGWTF???!!!?!?!!!11!'". That space where they overlap is the realm of Mondo Porn, yet another sexy pic blog that seeks to collect "Weird Sex Videos and Pics" from all over teh internets (or at least from the couple of dozen or so paysites that specialize in these sorts of things). Of course, "weird" is in the eye of the beholder, and it's a sad testament to our wizened sensiblities that things like cum snorting, milk bottle insertions, midget sex, and naked babes covered in peanut butter aren't really as strange to us anymore as they are just another day on the job. Still, if you're looking to expand your sexual horizons and want to supplement browsing our own archives with a little extra research, it's as fine a place to start as any.

· Mondo Porn (mondoporn.net)

Previously: Bar Da Rodoviaria: Weird Porn Shit, Random Deviant Sex Act Generator, Porn (Non)Excellence: What Not To See, Porn Review Haikus: The Return, CaledoShow, Erotica Curiosa, The Bacon Strip, The Porn Cynic, Strange Porn, Awful Porn Reviews, Bad XXX Album Covers, Porn Bloopers, Adventures in Bad Porn

Porn of the Moment: "Extreme Holly Goes Solo"

Gram Ponante — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:36:31 EDT

Creature of the interweb Extreme Holly, when she finds something appealing, pretty much absorbs it. Here she is with a baseball bat and a Yankees shirt (sadly, she defies logic by not sticking the Yankees jersey where such things belong). The Arizona resident gamely fits all manner of things inside herself, including tools, felt-tip markers, flashlights, cucumbers, popsicles, and now and then a traditional sex toy. The video is refreshingly free of porn-star posturing from the buff and genial Holly, who could probably beat you to death with the bat once she's finished with it. - GP

· Extreme Holly (extremeholly.com)
· "Extreme Holly Goes Solo" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

Hot Hexadecimal Dildo Porn: Digg This!

Fleshbot — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:45:02 EDT

We haven't really been keeping up with the whole conflamma today regarding Digg's alleged censorship of a certain hexadecimal code that can be used to break the copy protection on HD-DVD disks, mostly because (1) we tend to pretty much ignore sites that won't let its users link to our content and (2) when we first saw headlines about it, we read "AACS key" as "ASS key" and were really disappointed when the story ended up being about a bunch of numbers instead of, you know, ass. Still, we're as committed to free expression as anyone on teh interwebs, so below you'll find a mini-gallery featuring our own contributions to the cause. (Got any more? Feel free to send 'em our way.) We still have no idea what you're supposed to actually do with all those numbers and letters, but hey ... everyone can use a couple of hot dildo porn pics, right?

· Hot Hexadecimal Dildo Action! (Fleshbot Gallery)

When Dildos Attack!

Fleshbot — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 13:45:09 EDT

Lest you think that most of the sex toys we post about around here are cute nubbin-covered thingies that whisper sweet nothings in your various orifices or outsize conversation pieces designed to collect dust on your coffee table, we should remind you that there exists a troupe of intrepid porn queens for whom too much is never enough when it comes to dildos that look more like heavy-duty ballistic devices than relationship-enhancing marital aids. In addition to featuring many of these gapetastic geniuses in action, BrutalDildos.com is at least equally notable for providing us with some of the best alliterative paysite copy we've come across lately: "Supernatural sex toys shredding our sluts!" "Titanic toys terrorizing these tight twats!!" "Young Virgin Vaginas Get Visciously Violated!" We'll leave it up to you to decide which is more painful: getting fucked by a dildo the size of a fire hydrant, or coming across the phrase "enormous elephant dong" on a hardcore porn site.

· Brutal Dildos (paysite previews @ brutaldildos.com, via Pornzio)
"Woman Gets Fucked by Monster Made of Dildos WTF?!" (TGP/preview gallery @ lesbopimp.com)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: King Kong Dildo, Flesh Flicks: Let An Ass Be Your Umbrella, Flesh Flicks: High Gear Insertion, Flesh Flicks: Pussy Foot(ball), Vagetarian Porn, Catching Up With The Galactic Girls, Flesh Flicks: Invasion Of The Monster Dick, Flesh Flicks: The Return of the Dino-Fuckers, Alien Dildos

Morning Wood: Gemma Atkinson's Magic Breasts

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 11:45:05 EDT

· Jenna Jameson confesses that she had cancer and a miscarriage over two years ago. Wow, that pretty much covers the only two things you can't make a joke about. (usmagazine.com)

· What exactly is holding Gemma Atkinson's bikini up? Those jugs she's carrying aren't filled with helium, are they? (drunkenstepfather.com)

· Here's a new one: the Top 10 most famous insertions throughout history, also known as the "it seemed like a good idea at the time" collection. (yesbutnobutyes.com)

· A Dublin madam is the first woman in the history of Ireland to be jailed for organizing prostitution. You've come a long way, baby. (rte.ie)

· A new study says that 25% of all workplace computers have porn on them. Or 100% depending on where you work. (xbiz.com)

· A magazine for teen girls get pulled from shelves after a picture "accidentally" reveals the private parts of a model. Maybe it would be easier to just turn into a magazine for teen boys? (news.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Wet Spots: We're Sure Amanda Swisten Has A Great Personality Too

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:15:08 EDT

· Rose McGowan makes a great advertisement for whatever movie she happens to be in this week. We'll worry about what that movie is some other time. (publicnipslips.blogspot.com)

· Amanda Swisten is, well ... she's Amanda Swisten. OK, we didn't look her up, but we're obviously having a hard time focusing on pesky details right now. (latenightpictures.com)

· How would you like to be the guy who has to watch porn movies to "calculate precisely the time a police baton was used on a woman in one scene by 'a police officer' ... for vaginal and anal penetration"? And we though our job was cool. (It was one minute and 13 seconds, by the way.) (scoop.co.nz)

· Does the opening day of baseball season make you miss football season? It's true that today would be much more exciting with cheerleaders. (cbs4denver.com, via Fark)

· Would inviting Ron Jeremy to your campus be a "dreadful mistake"? Wouldn't it be a mistake not to? (bostonherald.com)

· The "Sex Lady" teaches kids about sex by ripping the hair off their arms with tape? That's sounds like an excellent way to create a generation of BDSM kinksters. (wfaa.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Wet Spots: Say Hi To Your Mom For Us

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 22:30:01 EST

· Mrs. America is now Mrs. World. Finally, incontrovertible proof that no one outshines the U.S. in the production of MILFs. (news.com.au)

· Young ladies of the pop tart set—yes, you girls—should really watch this tutorial on how to remove yourself from a car without showing the world your business. Do it for the children. Please. (Jalopnik)

· Speaking of Jalopnik, we know those guys love their cars, but they would never resort to, you know ... loving cars, would they? Maybe that's a question we don't want answered. (thesun.co.uk, via who else?)

· San Francisco finally signs off on Kink.com's move into the city's old Armory Building, which means the city will no longer be a haven for clean-cut, straight-laced individuals who would never think of doing anything outrageous like work at an adult video company. (examiner.com, more @ sfist.com)

· Meanwhile, we hear from the good folks at Comstock Films that their "Marie and Jack" is received an NC-17 rating from the MPAA (one of only 48 films to do so since the rating was introduced in 1984)—and that it's now available (along with three other titles) on Amazon.com. It's one small step for the contiuing acceptance of explicit adult material in mainstream media, one giant leap for anyone who wants to sneak in some hot hardcore sex the next time they order the latest Steven King book online! (comstockfilms.com)

· A prisoner in El Salvador has his brilliant escape plan foiled when guards discovered he was hiding a hand grenade ... in his ass. We'd hate to be in the stall next to that guy, when it comes time to make his next "deposit." (reuters.com)

· What does the house of centerfold-turned-high priced call girl look like on the inside? It looks a lot like a regular house, actually. Sorry to disappoint you. (ajc.com, reprint @ adultfyi.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Flesh Flicks: Let An Ass Be Your Umbrella

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 09:45:02 EST

Not many of us would pass by a video with the words "sun umbrella in ass" in the title, but we must caution you that the umbrella in question is not opened up as if it were the favor in some tropical human cocktail drink. (We were disappointed to learn that too, which maybe says more about us than the person who shot it and uploaded it to the web.) Still, once you see which end does goes in—and just how far it goes—your "awws" are sure to into awe. This is a pretty impressive stunt by anyone's measure, and it comes with our standard "do not try this at home" warning label. Let's just say if someone did accidentally open up the umbrella in this position, you wouldn't be going back to the beach for a long, long time.

- - -

· "Gina with sunumbrella in ass" (xTube.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: High Gear Insertion

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:12:41 EST

Getting something caught on the shifter—or the turn signals or the windshield wipers or any of the other knobs and levers on your dashboard—has always been a traditional danger when having sex in a car. Of course, that usually means having sex with another person, not having sex with the car itself. We know that gearheads can sometimes take their love of automobiles to extreme heights, but this is taking things to another level. Remember, this a professional driver on a closed course, so please do not try this in a moving vehicle. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to set the parking brake just as a precaution ... or if you're kinky enough to attempt a very tricky DP.

· "Chick fuck shift knob" (Haporn)

Previously: Stick Shift Fuck, Flesh Flicks Archives

XXX Uploads: Still Yet Another Porn Video Site

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:03:10 EST

Are you ready for some more hot porn video uploading action? Too bad, because XXXUploads.com is here to take on all the other challengers in the overflowing "video porn upload sharing embedded clips show" market. The good news with all these new sites is that the video quality does seem to be improving, and more selection is never a bad thing. The bad news is that everything is constantly in "development," so good luck finding any help when you run into the inevitable glitches (like the fact that the code these guys provide for embedding videos doesn't work). Without even an email address to complain to, we guess we'll have to use this forum to ~~shame them~~ ask them politely to fix it. While you wait for that to happen, you can still watch a clip of Fleshbot fave Belladonna sticking a baseball bat where the sun don't shine. Luckily, her ass has been out of beta for at least a few years now.

· XXX Uploads (xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Shufuni: Yet Another Porn Video Site, Flesh Flicks: Welcome to Haporn, Watchme.com, YouPorn Beta, YuVuTu: Adult Amateur Videos, XTube, PornoTube

Flesh Flicks: Phone Home

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:40:49 EST

One of the lost stories from last week's Las Vegas madness is this goodie from CES: a mobile phone prophylactic. This rubbery sleeve is designed to protect your cellphone from water damage should anything ... unfortunate happen to it. Sadly, this invention may have come too late for the young lady who has "lost" her phone in this clip, since the first thing we thought of when watching it was that she must have damaged her keypad; these consumer electronics are very sensitive, you know, so it's important to use protection whenever possible, especially where excess moisture is involved. And you can never be too careful, especially with some strange phone that you've just picked up in a bar.

- - -

· "nokia factory" (Haporn)
· Prophylatics for mobile phones launched (theinquirer.net)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: Pussy Foot(ball)

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 09:30:42 EST

Somewhere today, in a nondescript cubicle in some gray corporate office park, a guy is going to get an email forward with the subject line: "FOOTBALL IN PUSSY LOL ROTFLMAO!!!" The guy will be skeptical at first: "How is that possible?" he might mutter. The email came from a trusted source, however (the brother of one of his old frat buddies), so he'll glance around to make sure no co-workers can see his monitor. Then he'll click the link, he'll end up here, and he'll press play on this video. A few seconds later, he'll lean back in his chair, scratch his head, and think to himself, "I'll be gosh-darned—that girl really did have a football in her pussy, even if it looked like a Nerf variety and not a standard pigskin! How about that?" Then on Monday, he'll be fired for inappropriate use of an office computer. Still, he'll realize it was worth it. And we'll have moved on to something else already. Such is the way of the world.

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· "Football in pussy" (xtube.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: Happy World Vegan Day!

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 11:51:06 EST

We hear that today is World Vegan Day, and while we could never go 24 hours without some bacon and/or good ol' American cheese (each slice individually wrapped with love), we celebrate the day in spirit through this cucumber-flavored video. Some vegetables just seemed to be designed for insertion duty, and even though the quality of this clip is not the greatest, it helps us understand how some folks manage to live without regular hot beef injections. Just remember to wash up before tossing that salad for dinner.

· Masturbating with vegetables (xTube.com)
· World Vegan Day (worldveganday.org)

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Previously: Vagetarian Porn, Flesh Flicks Archives

Vagetarian Porn

Fleshbot — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 14:05:21 EDT

In their continuing and noble effort to breathe new life and relevance into the same old tired TGP galleries that clutter the interweb, our esteem'd colleagues at Pornzio have decided that 2006 will heretofore be known as "The Year of the Vag-etarian". (And here we were all set to call it "The Year of Keeley Hazell"—but maybe Keeley deserves some rest for a while.) By way of marking the occasion, they present a handful of galleries of gals getting their recommended daily allowance of fresh produce in ways most nutritionists tend to overlook: "These women want only vegetables in their body. And we're talking about in every orifice. Cucumber in the pussy, carrot in the asshole, and a banana in their mouth is a good day in Vag-etarian world. What's next?" With the whole Atkins porn craze come and gone, we can only wonder ourselves.

· "The Year of the Vag-etarian" (pornzio.com)
· See also: Veggie Bang (paysite preview @ veggiebang.com)

More tasty treats from the garden after the jump.

· Olivia's veggie love
· Hentai vegetable videos
· Lesbian vegetable picnic
· In the kitchen with Angel
· Paulette's "large yellow vegetable thing"
· Vegetable object love
· Sabrina deep loves fresh veggies
· Hot pregnant Carla playing with vegetable

(TGP/preview galleries via Ask Jolene)