It all started about a month and a half ago, when a twelve minute long video of "Kappa Girl" (named after her place of employment) made its way onto the internet. The Chinese people were overcome by love (or at least lust-fueled curiosity), rocketing Kappa Girl to fame—fame which only increased as she created a blog to defend herself (and post more sexy pictures). The Kappa store, however, was less than enthralled with their newfound mascot, and chose to fire her from her position; the Chinese police were similarly unimpressed, and threw Kappa Girl in jail when it was determined that she herself was responsible for leaking the video onto the internet (which, remember, is illegal in China).

But wait! There's a silver lining! London-based Harmony Films has taken note of Kappa Girl's plight, and offered the budding starlet her very own contract. Which we're sure she'll jump on... you know, just as soon as she gets out of jail.

And they said no good could come out of a sex tape scandal!

· 'Kappa Girl' fired for sex video (shanghaiist.com)
· 'Kappa Girl' detained by Shanghai police (shanghaiist.com)
· Adult entertainment studio Harmony Films wants to offer 'Kappa Girl' a real job (shanghaiist.com)

Now, if you ask us, celebrating the Christmas season with a nude pictorial of the Virgin Mary makes perfect sense. But apparently, we're not the people of Mexico, who were none too pleased about Playboy's nude devotional (something about being devout Catholics?). So, in sum, boobs (Mary boobs!) were shown, outrage was expressed, scandal happened, and Playboy apologized. Such is the cycle of life.

But hey, if you're not a devout Catholic—or at least, aren't offended by the idea of the Virgin Mary (gasp!) having boobs—pictures are, of course, available online.

· Pictures: Playboy Virgin María Florencia Onori Is A True Blessing! (machochip.com)

Frankly, we're thrilled to know that the young teens have a healthy enough attitude about sexuality that they're a) willing to step into a sex toy shop and b) willing to let a fan take photographs with them in said scandalous location. But, uh, maybe next time they'll go somewhere classy like Babeland, and not whatever cheap place this is?

· Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens in 'Sex Shop Musical' (defamer.com)

Now, after dozens of photos have made the rounds on the internet, Caz is fighting back—and she wants you to know that she's never posed topless. And you know what? We agree with her. As we've said before, partially obscured boobs are not naked boobs. But don't take our word for it—check out some of our favorite photos in this gallery:

· Pal calls publicity sensationalism (lvrf.com)

Ning, a ring of branded mini-social networks, will discontinue its "Red Light District" as of January 1, shuttering its adult-themed sites in an attempt to class up the joint (or at least increase ad revenues and get the DMCA off its back). On the other side of the internet, YouTube—which is already pretty antiporn—will tighten restrictions even further, broadening their criteria for "sexually suggestive" (and thus 18+) material. Say goodbye to all those scantily clad girls playing Wii Fit, kids.

In brighter news, however, Twitter continues to be a haven for porn and pornstars, with even more pornstars on Twitter, regaling us with fascinating updates about their cats. Hey, you win some, you lose some. Right?

· Ning, YouTube Begin Restricting Porn (avn.com)
· Twitter Meet the Sex Industry, Sex Industry Meet Twitter (babysinead.com)
· Thumbnail star Anna the Nerd (nerdpr0n.com, via Ask Jolene)

. . .

· Vineland school aide in adult films (thedailyjournal.com, via nerve.com)
· Crystal Gunns in School Uniform 1 (megaporn.com)

. . .

· Cambridge University magazine prints topless page three picture of student (telegraph.co.uk)
· Vivid Magazine (vivid-publications.co.uk)
· Vivid Magazine on Facebook (facebook.com)
· Vivid Girls Football Music Video (youtube.com)

. . .

· Paris BFF Corrie's Softcore Past (tmz.com)

Kid Rock: We're pretty sure there was only one reason why the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape was ever released: to prove (to someone, we don't know who) that these two a) have (or at least had) groupies and b) have received oral sex. We're pretty sure we didn't need to know either of those things — but hey, that's the world of celeb sex tapes for you.

Joanie "Chyna" Laurer: Female pro-wrestlers don't get nearly enough attention in the press—though we're not really sure that the kind of attention that Chyna's sex tape generated was really appreciated by her fellow female wrestlers (can you say "inch-long and thick-as-a-pinkie clitoris with a corona resembling the head of a penis"?).

Amy Fisher: Given that Amy Fisher's biggest claim to fame was shooting someone in the face, it is, perhaps, a little odd that she followed that up with her very own sex tape. Then again, Amy's criminal career was spawned by an affair she had with the much older Buttafuoco. When she was a teenager. And seriously, how hot does "Long Island Lolita: Caught On Tape" sound? (Related, but vastly less hot: the Joey Buttafuoco sex tape.)

Verne Troyer: Next up in our list of unlikely pornstars is Verne Troyer (better known as "Mini-Me."). Though Troyer didn't take too kindly to his time in the spotlight, we feel the release of his sex tape was actually a bit of a public service. Firstly, it taught us all that, no matter how different you may look, there's always someone out there who'll be willing to love you (and commit it to tape!). Secondly, it gave us all a very, very detailed lesson in how not to kiss.

Gene Simmons: And speaking of KISSing (ha!): you can't spell sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll without sex. And no one knows that better than KISS front man Gene Simmons, whose all too brief career in adult entertainment we were more than happy to analyze.

Dustin Diamond: If you'd told us, as kids, that Screech of "Saved by the Bell" fame would one day be the star of his very own sex tape, we probably would have run screaming from the room (well, after having you explain what, exactly, a "sex tape" was). That reaction wouldn't have been so far off: Dustin Diamond's last ditch effort to reclaim the spotlight was pathetic at best—but at the same time, isn't the whole pathetic grasp at fame thing the whole point of a self-released sex tape? (Oh, and also: Dirty Sanchez.)

Jenna Lewis: Screech wasn't the first "celebrity" to cash in on a "stolen" sex tape: that honor goes to Jenna Lewis, better known as Jenna from "Survivor," who raked in over $70,000 (and extended her fifteen minutes of fame) with her very own sex tape.

Kim Kardashian: And then, of course, there was Kim Kardashian's romp with R&B star Ray J. We never really figured out why Kim was supposed to be a celebrity, but at least she managed to make it with someone with at least a little bit of cred. And, for that matter, Kardashian managed to rake in a decent amount of money, too (much as she denied that she had had any part in the tape's public launch).

Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain: Given that Colin Farrell and former Playboy Playmate are two people we'd actually want to see get it on (as opposed to, well, many of the people who made this list), we were largely convinced that their rumored sex tape had to be a hoax. Yet somehow, it wasn't! See, sometimes the powers that be really do listen to our prayers.

Paris Hilton: Paris's tape hits the top of our list not so much for its quality (it's shot in night vision, for one thing, and Paris was never much of performer) but instead for its cultural significance. Before her flirtation with amateur porn, Paris was just a D-list party girl and hotel chain heiress; post-"One Night in Paris," she was a full-fledged C-list celebutante with her very own reality show. Using a sex tape to eke out a modicum of fame and launch oneself into the spotlight? Brilliant. (Oh, and there's also the matter of Paris's sexploits hitting the newswires the same day that Fleshbot launched—five years ago today! So maybe we're a little sentimental? It happens.)

Bonus Scandal! Dita Von Teese: Lovely Dita didn't so much make a "sex tape" as star in some arty lesbian fetish porn—but hey, the video was hot enough (and the scandal hyped up enough), that we had to include it somewhere. It also wins points for generating one of the best headlines ever seen: "Dita Von Teese had sex with a shoe." She sure did.

. . .

· Real Or Fake?: Nude Photos Of Obama's Mother (nerve.com)

. . .

· Naughty snowboards make debut (cnn.com, via AdRants)
· Burton Love Snowboard (snowboardconnection.com)

Needless to say, we're not totally convinced by Tancer's super compelling argument. Granted, we haven't seen his data, but the simple claim that searches for porn have dropped from 20% of all searches to 10%, and that social networks are now the dominant search theme, isn't enough to get us preparing for a grand ol' porno funeral. Allow us to explain ...

There's more of the internet than there used to be. As the internet grows, matures, and spreads into homes across America, it's only natural that porn would become a smaller percentage of all the content out there — not because porn is less popular, but because it's gone from being a big fish in a small pond to a big fish in a very, very large pond.

Social networks are work friendly. You (probably) can look at Facebook while you're slacking off at work. You (probably) can't look at Fleshbot. Does that mean that you like Facebook better than Fleshbot? We'll let you think on that one.

Social networks are kid friendly. We hear the kids are big into the internet these days — and they also really like the MySpace. Chances are, their parents are going to be more okay with them looking at MySpace or Facebook rather than porn. And the more that kids become heavy internet users, the more these numbers are going to get skewed.

Adult sites are vastly more profitable than social networks. Unlike Facebook, most porn sites have figured out some decent ways to monetize their traffic (even with smaller users bases). Somehow, we think the money is going to have the final word on this one.

· "Facebook and MySpace are Killing Porn?" (mashable.com)
· "Porn passed over as Web users become social" (reuters.com)

Most of the industry's big names are planning on attending (Exxxotica Miami drew about 22,000 people this year), so we're talking about pulling the plug on what is potentially the biggest porn event on the East Coast at the very last minute. Pit bull Mayor Dennis Elwell is obviously deeply concerned about what goes on in his town, which is why he apparently had no clue that the three-day expo has been booked at the Meadowlands since June and he's willing to fight a few lawsuits to keep legitimate business dollars out of his town. Now that's change we could believe ... if it wasn't so predictable. Stay tuned....

· Mayor: City Will Take Legal Action to Shut Down Exxxotica NY (avn.com)
· Mayor wants to block erotic convention (newsday.com)
· Exxxotica NY (exxxoticany.com)

Update: The show has been moved. More info here.

. . .

· "X-rated video shot in Bartlett park" (wmctv.com)
· Foxy Jacky (foxyjacky.com)

Evil Angel head honcho John Stagliano is the latest target of the Justice Department, but he's fighting back the American Way—through the news media. In this video interview with Reason TV he shares his thoughts on his ongoing obscenity case and explains why you should care about it. And it's not to sell another copy of "Milk Nymphos." (Although if you're interested we could probably find you one.)

. . .

· The U.S. vs. John Stagliano (reason.tv)

Previously: Coming For A Cause: Just About Everybody You've Ever Masturbated To In "Defend Our Porn"

The basic complaint, as always, is that these rags create unfair portraits of women that are impossible (and unhealthy) to emulate ... kind of like every other magazine on the planet. They'll all rot your brain in the end, but at least we get to look at Lucy Pinder while it happens.

· "Lad mags 'linked to social ills'" (bbc.co.uk; more @ jezebel.com)