Fleshbot: hollywood

Even Bad Movies Can Have Good Sex

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:30:00 EDT

It's a sad fact of life that the quality of a movie's sex scenes bears no actual relation to the quality of the movie itself. In fact, as anyone who has ever subscribed to Cinemax can tell you, some of the best sex scenes can only be found with very generous use of the fast forward button. This post from Nerve is a mini-salute to boring, slow, overwrought and downright awful movies that also include footage of two hot people getting on. Or failing that, Ben Affleck. Enjoy one of the only highlights of that Oliver Stone classic "The Doors" below. (Audio warning; video starts automatically.)

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· Top 5 Sex Scenes From Bad Movies (nerve.com)

Celebrity Sex Tapes 101

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:25:56 EDT

Do you ever wonder how those amateur celebrity sex tapes go from rumor to back door deal to shady paysites to your computer? Or why some videos become money-making blockbusters, while other never make it past step one? The L.A. Times investigates this sexual black market and the answers may surprise you. Or not. (latimes.com)

It's no longer P.C. to make fun of drunks...

Jonnobot — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:30:48 EDT

It's no longer P.C. to make fun of drunks or fat people—but as far as Hollywood and much of the media is concerned, it's still totally OK to make fun of sex addicts. In fact, even we here at Fleshbot may have been guilty of doing so on occassion. But only because they're having more sex than we are and we're jealous. (nytimes.com)

More "Porno" Hype: Kevin Smith Finds Our Weakness

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:15:47 EDT

Because we (and everyone else on the planet) are suckers for anything with the word "porno" in the title, we will probably end up seeing Kevin Smith's upcoming film about two lifelong friends who turn to the always lucrative world of amateur porn to solve their money issues. The "restricted" trailer is now online—which sadly does not mean that you get a shot of Elizabeth Banks naked—and it did make us chuckle, even if we also learned that movie has avoided an NC-17 rating. (Which means you won't get to see Elizabeth Banks fucking either.) So even if "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" is not an actual porno, it may have some redeeming qualities anyway. (Like Elizabeth Banks in her underwear, maybe? Come on, you gotta give us something!)

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· "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" (zackandmiri.com)

Previously: "Zack And Miri" Make A Porno Promo

Stanley Kubrick Porn, Or How We Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Sex Odysseys

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:50:34 EDT

Porn movies that parody mainstream entertainment are nothing new in this business, but there maybe one director who has the honor of being targeted more than any other: Stanley Kubrick. No one can really say what it is about his style or artistic choices that make Kubrick so ripe for porn plucking, but as blogger Andrew Hearst has noticed, his titles have been reworked several times over—including more than one version of the ever-popular "Sex Odyssey" motif. Sadly the master is no longer with us, but we can still enjoy those great works he inspired, from to "The Sexxxing" to "A Clockwork Orgy" to "Dr. Strangelove." (Wait, maybe it was Kubrick who found pornspiration on that one, not the other way around.)

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· "Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, Now With Hot Girl-on-Girl Action" (panopticist.com)
· "A Clockwork Orgy" (YouTube)
· A Clockwork Orgy (imdb.com)
· 2002: A Sex Odyssey (imdb.com)
· "2069: A Sex Odyssey" (nytimes.com)

Mr. Skin: Blogging For Dollars

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 10:39:06 EDT

There's no bigger name in the "watching horrible movies just to find three seconds of celebrity nudity" business than Mr. Skin. They've been at it so long that in the bizarro world of online properties they could be considered Old Media. But would an Old Media company start a blog? Take that Web 2.0! True to their nature, it's mostly celebrity news and gossip—but it's also helpfully annotated with free pictures and videos from their archives of whatever famous female they happen to be talking about that day. Sure, it's basically just a marketing strategy to sell memberships to their site, but we all have to eat. Even free boobies are never really free.

· Mr. Skin Daily (mrskin.com)

If Hollywood Sex Scenes Were Real

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:01:18 EDT

Have you ever found yourself watching two of your favorite on-screen characters locked in a passionate embrace and wished that your own love life could be that perfect and beautiful? And then you remembered that sex is a dirty, complicated, and occasionally frightening experience and that even the smoothest, most romantic sexual romp you've ever had didn't turn out that good. Maybe it's time for a little honesty in our movie lovemaking? Or maybe not.

· Realistic Hollywood Sex Scene (collegehumor.com)

Movie Editor Leaves Clothes On The Cutting Room Floor

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:28:41 EDT

Mark Helfrich is a Hollywood film editor, who has worked for decades on big-time box office productions like "Predator," "Rambo," "X-Men 3," the "Rush Hour" series, and the Elizabeth Berkeley epic "Showgirls." (Who could forget?) Last year, he made his directorial debut as the helmer on "Good Luck Chuck," starring Jessica Alba. Since he's deep into film and pictures, he naturally has a strong interest in photography—specifically, artistic nudes, like the ones he contributed to the coffee table book, "New Erotic Photography," and the others in the gallery on his website. Unfortunately, there is one key piece of this equation that seems to be missing. Movie director + erotic photographer + R-rated sex comedy = no Jessica Alba nude scenes? That doesn't quite add up right, does it?

· Mark Helfrich - Photography (markhelfrich.com, via notaboutlove.com)

Who Should Be Steven Soderbergh's "Girlfriend"?

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:45:34 EDT

Director Steven Soderbergh has announced that his next project will be "The Girlfriend Experience," a ~~cinéma-vérité~~ low-budget indie film about a $10,000-a-night hooker. Since the movie would be shot in the style of his previous film, "Bubble," it will employ a minimal amount of money, sets, professional actors, or even written words—the dialogue will be mostly improvised. This lack of Hollywood touches, plus the subject matter, has led early speculation to be that Soderbergh may hire an experienced adult film actress to play the lead. But who would that be?

We can think of dozens of actresses off the top our head who can convincingly hump like a hooker, but can they handle the off-the-cuff dramatic style and display the emotional range required to make a full human person believable on screen? Amateur casting directors everywhere are ready to weigh in—and frankly we're a little hurt that our siblings at Defamer didn't think to ask us—but who better than our readers to find us the prefect choice? We have a few nominees of our own in the poll below, but feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments. The future of mainstream porn depends on you!

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· Soderbergh to direct 'Girlfriend' (variety.com, via Defamer)

HBO is currently developing a show called...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:27:21 EDT

HBO is currently developing a show called "Hung" about a character "like Spider-Man" only his superpower is his giant wang. Will it be the feel good hit of the summer or will it just leave you numb, wanting a cigarette, and maybe a little bored? (variety.com)

Fucking With The Cool Kids: "Young Hollywood"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:12:30 EDT

"What's better than Hollywood with a pool, some honeys, and some beer?" asks folksy Mud the narrator.

Carlos Batts' "Young Hollywood" is a little like the Grover's Corners of "Our Town": everyone knows each other, there is a kindly narrator and, as the spirit of Death is ever-present in Thornton Wilder's New Hampshire hamlet, so does Glenn Danzig hover above young Hollywood. The similarities end there, though, because you'd never expect Emily Webb to flash her tits to get into a music video the way Mandy Morbid does. Read our review after the gap.

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Young Hollywood

Studio: Independent Adult Cinema
Director: Carlos Batts
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Mandy Morbid, Lystra, April Flores, Lindsey Meadows, Adrianna Nicole, Ashley Blue, Alex Gonz, Jerry, Steven St. Croix

Review by Gram Ponante

Actually, Mud's narration is more reminiscent of Samuel Jackson's omniscient DJ in "Do the Right Thing."

Like last year's "Boys' & Girls' Guide to Getting Down", "Young Hollywood" takes a snapshot of the short plain of city blocks south of the Hollywood sign, and makes no real distinction between porn performers and struggling actors (because there isn't one).

Morbid and Lystra fuck on the Mustang parked in Danzig's yard (it is actually Glenn Danzig's yard; the Satan-appreciating "Mother" vocalist lives in Hollywood) and later spend some topless time talking about cosplay and Comic-Con. This is a slightly more believable kind of unreality than what is found in traditional porn videos; it is only because the camera was on that their conversation seemed so awkward, because that's how the two of them actually talk.

It's not a rule, but porn shot in the San Fernando (Porn) Valley often looks different from porn shot over the hill in Hollywood and downtown L.A. We meet Kimberly Kane on the set of a movie. She fucks Steven St. Croix on an art installation chopper and makes plans on her phone for going out later. No Porn Valley McMansion and no chirpy starlet: just the angular, frank, and badass Kane in a room festooned with Atari art.

A lot of porn movies come with behind the scenes footage, and it is there where any consumer can become well-versed in what it is like to shoot a porn movie. Often this footage is ten times more entertaining than the movie it accompanies. "Young Hollywood" takes a different angle and seeks to dramatize the backstage logistics. In that way it is like an X-rated reality show.

Adrianna Nicole looks particularly sirenesque in a bathing cap on a Hollywood roof. Downstairs she gets fucked in the shadows of the venetian blinds in an empty apartment. Something about the light identifies Los Angeles - that and the fact that, if Adrianna Nicole lived on the east coast, who would ever leave?

Natural light plays more of a role in Ashley Blue's segment with Alex Gonz. It's twilight in Los Angeles and they're on the rooftop pool. This is a really good look for Blue, a very cool light.

The movie culminates at a party in Beverly Hills with fire dancers and carrying on; this scene is poorly lit and anticlimactic. But overall, "Young Hollywood" succeeds in its music, its sense of place, and its very loving photography. The statements it seeks to make about celebrity and hanging out would be more effective without the narrator telling us what we already picked up from the action, though.

Still, "Young Hollywood" paints a nice picture of Our Town; everybody gets along and looks good. It's a much better postcard for the area than the Christmas parade on Hollywood Boulevard.

· Carlos Batts (carlosbatts.com)
· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)

Ah, the good old days when the concept of...

Jonnobot — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:01:36 EDT

Ah, the good old days when the concept of a "naughty nurse" involved nothing more risque than "a liberal display of lacy '30s underwear". After all that hardcore nurse porn we've been dosing ourselves with lately, lacy '30s underwear actually seems sort of kinky. (nytimes.com)

Full-Frontal Movie Nudity: We've Got Bush

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 14:10:03 EST

Full frontal is like the Holy Grail of movie nudity—elusive, thrilling and occasionally just a myth. Yet, a simple glimpse of below the belt flesh will also make you feel young again, mostly because Hollywood seemed to do it best in the 80s and 90s when on-screen nudity was a lot more precious. (Or maybe we were just going to the wrong theaters?) Check out the Uber blog's video retrospective of some the best historical examples of this phenomenon and ponder if this classic "Revenge of the Nerds" moment would have as much impact today ... or if the famous punchline would even make sense to today's bare down there generation.

· Top 10 Female Full Frontal Nude Scenes (uber.com)

Instead of complaining about sex scenes...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:28:13 EST

Instead of complaining about sex scenes we don't like, we prefer to reminisce about Hollywood sex moments that were actually worth remembering—or those moments that made absolutely no sense.

We've always felt that a nude scene is like...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:34:16 EST

We've always felt that a nude scene is like pizza (even when it's bad, it's still pretty good), but the editors of Paper magazine have listed what they consider to be the worst movie nude scenes of all-time, which basically means any scene involving someone they find unattractive. Not listed: Anyone who works at Paper magazine, because no one would pay them to take their clothes off on film. (papermag.com)

Got two tickets to the Academy Awards and...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:29:26 EST

Got two tickets to the Academy Awards and a penchant for cuckoldry? This Craigslist ad posted by a man and his very willing girlfriend has (sadly) been taken down, but it would have been right up your alley. Heck, bring a video camera and you could've even have had an entry for the 2009 ceremony! (Defamer)

Nuts Goes To The (Topless) Movies

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:39:40 EST

Even though we watch a lot of hardcore movies where tits are a dime a dozen, there's still something a little bit thrilling about seeing an actress pop a boob or two out in a mainstream Hollywood movie. Maybe it's because it's more unexpected or the women are (sometimes) more famous—or maybe it's just because a naked breast is a naked breast and no matter how you're seeing it, it's still cool. You should ponder these great unknowables while admiring Nuts magazine's screen capture skills in their latest cover feature, "100 Topless Movie Babes." The gals are presented in no particular order, so no fighting over who deserves the Academy Award for Best Lighting, Most Jiggle, or Best Set Design. And yes, the magazine does make a "Golden Globes" reference so that's already been taken care of for you.

· NUTS Presents 100 Topless Movie Babes (dailypoa.com)

Popshots Of The Week: 2008 XBiz Awards Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:33:13 EST

We will let the press releases speak for themselves, because we have come to the conclusion that no one pays attention at adult awards shows — including the nevertheless enjoyable XBiz Awards last night, at which we at least know "Upload" won Best Feature and "Porn Week"'s Harmony Films won Best Emerging Studio (nice trick for being five years old) before Flower Tucci started disrobing and our attention was called elsewhere. See more snaps after the gap.

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Lucky bastard Cousin Stevie is joined by Heather Silk, who came from Florida to star in the upcoming 24th installment of his "Pussy Party" series.

"I thought you loved me best," said (Another Reason To Love) Canada's Tina Tyler as we snapped a picture of some here-today-gone-tomorrow 19-year-old flibbertigibbet. We do love you best, Tina; if you would only let us cry.

We were embarrassed when the appearance of gay porn auteur Michael Lucas and Titan vice president Keith Webb caused us to lose control of our camera. We took several bad pictures and Lucas' face did not move an inch. Finally he said, "Just stand back there and take it."

Ashley Steel (whom we taught Latin) celebrated her semi-anniversary with Internet gadfly Halcyon Styn. "Are you living in Styn?" we probed. "No, but I keep Q-Tips at his house," said Steel.

· "XBIZ Announces 2008 Awards Winners" (xbiz.com)

We have no plans to see the new vagina dentata...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 11:50:40 EST

We have no plans to see the new vagina dentata scarefest "Teeth," even if we can totally appreciate a good "women are evil creatures who will eat you alive" metaphor. Here are some more subtle examples of Hollywood screenwriters working out their personal issues with the ladies. By the way, you will never watch "Return of the Jedi" the same way again. (nymag.com)

Elisha Cuthbert Naked! (Or Not)

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 11:17:08 EST

Do these look like the pert, young breasts of a bright, young movie starlet? That's the question on everyone's mind as they look at this clip from little-seen indie adventure, "He Was A Quiet Man." The movie stars a very creepy-looking Christian Slater and a very paraplegic-looking Elisha Cuthbert, and this pair of tits that may or may not belong to her. Consider the fact the she has thus far managed to go an entire career—including two hours playing an actual pornstar—without taking her clothes off and combine that with some rather suspicious edits and the general consensus seems to be those are not authentic Cuthboobs. Still, if you watch the video below and use a little imagination it does create the illusion of seeing her naked ... and isn't that what movie magic is all about?

· Elisha Finally Nude? (joblo.com)

Previously: Natalie Portman's Ass Revealed (Again)