Sure, it's an interesting gimmick to set-up a cougar hunt, but really, it's completely unnecessary. All they ever needed to do was follow adult crossover superstar Lisa Ann to find out more. If anyone knows where to find cougars in their natural habitat, it's Lisa Ann. Instead, the teacher sends a film crew to meet a healthy sample of young hot man meat begging to be devoured by these animals.

Lisa Ann, Diamond Foxxx, Payton Leigh, Persia Pele, and Raquel Devine are hungry like she wolves, and they feel no remorse for their predatory actions. Each and every one of these sexy ladies is more than willing to stalk down a studly young pup and milk the creamy white goodness out of him. Some might say it's what they live for.

"Cougar 101" releases next week from Wicked Pictures, but you can see some of what these animals did right here and now with this exclusive set of pictures captured by our gal in the field.

Lisa Ann
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Lisa Ann
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Lisa Ann
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Lisa Ann
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Diamond Foxxx
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Diamond Foxxx
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Diamond Foxxx
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Payton Leigh
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Payton Leigh
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Payton Leigh
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" is not an unparalleled success, but it's not a disaster, either: in the spectrum of porno parodies, it falls squarely in the middle. There's a lot that's good about the release, but there are also several areas in which in falls flat—and though it certainly gets the vibe of the show, one doesn't come to the, ahem, climax feeling as those we've just watched an episode of "30 Rock"—but with sex!

First and foremost, the release packs a serious punch with some all-star sex scenes. Really, who among you would turn down the opportunity to watch Lisa Ann take on James Deen? Or—bless our souls—Erik Everhard teaming up with Rebeca Linares and Lana Violet...at the same time? Or Ashlynn Brooke doing anything? The sheer quality of performers included in this release is a wonder to behold—but really, that's only to be expected.

Secondly, the plot—and set ups—are reasonably "30 Rock"-esque. Seeking to improve ratings on "The Chic Show," Jake decides the sketches need to be sexed up (an idea inspired by sex with his girlfriend Alicia). Frustrated by Trey's limelight-hogging, Jenny tries to convince writer Fred to feature her in a really good sketch (and by convince, we mean seduce). Peter fantasizes about the scantily-clad Cherry. Liz falls, once more, for her loser ex-boyfriend's charms. And Ken—well, we'll get to that in a second.

The humor is also reasonably "30 Rock"-esque. Though he's no Tracy Morgan (uh, who is?), Bishop turns in a good performance as Trey, with more than a few jokes that made us laugh. (Want an idea of what we're talking about? A good deal of the jokes make it into the trailer—so if that's all you want, check that out on the feature's website.)

And, of course, we have to give New Sensations props for incorporating secondary characters (especially Alicia/Elisa) into the plot, rather than simply inventing women to fill in the plans. Well, except for in Ken's sex scene...but we'll get to that in a second.

So, yes: Ken's sex scene, which caps off the release, was probably our biggest disappointment—at least in terms of the porno actually bearing some resemblance to "30 Rock," the show. Without going into too much detail, Ken's sex scene is a dream sequence, once in which Ken fantasizes that he's actually Erik Everhard banging two girls named Stephanie and Nancy. Now, there's nothing wrong with watching Mr. Everhard do what he does best, but he's no Kenneth Parcell.

Why'd New Sensations decide to take that tack? Simple, really: Paul Woodcrest, the performer playing Ken, is actually an adult director—and though he was more than happy to lend his boyish charm to the character of Ken, he wasn't quite ready to make his debut as a porn performer. The same goes for Bishop (hence the lack of any "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" fantasy sex scene—you know they were totally thinking about it).

At the end of it all, we found ourselves questioning whether one could make a "30 Rock" porn that really, really worked. After all, the things that make "30 Rock" really work are counter to the things that make a porno really work: part of the fun of "30 Rock" is the running joke that—somehow, in spite of herself—Liz never gets laid. Does seeing Lisa Ann's Liz Limon getting done hard take away from that?

We'll have to get back to you on that one. Right after we finish watching Erik Everhard giving it to these two chicks.

Bishop, Herschel Savage, Lisa Ann, Ashlynn Brooke, and Paul Woodcrest
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Ralph Long
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Ralph Long and Amy Reid
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Ralph Long and Amy Reid
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Lisa Ann
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Lisa Ann and James Deen
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Lisa Ann and James Deen
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Rebeca Linares, Paul Woodcrest, and Lana Violet
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Rebeca Linares
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Lisa Ann and Bishop
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Evie Delatosso and Herschel Savage
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Chris Cannon
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke and Chris Cannon
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)
Rebeca Linares, Erik Everhard, and Lana Violet
"30 Rock - A XXX Parody" (30rockxxx.com)

Really, we could watch Mika do just about anything—but watching her getting banged by Herschel Savage is especially nice.

· Buy "Dirty Love" (gamelink.com)

Throat: A Cautionary Tale

Studio: Vivid
Director: Paul Thomas
Cast: Sasha Grey, Penny Flame, Tom Byron, Evan Stone, Aliana Love, Trent Tesoro, Herschel Savage, Lee Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

"I didn't mean for this to happen," intones Julie (Sasha Grey), commenting on her (naked, of course - are you kidding?) corpse a la "Sunset Boulevard" via its Porn Valley counterpart, Sherman Way. "Things just got out of hand."

Out of hand and into throat, you mean. Thus begins "Throat: A Cautionary Tale," Vivid's biggest movie this year, an ambitious project that has already had a six-episode paid infomercial playing on Showtime to support it.

Veteran porn scribe Raven Touchstone's script is the best this year, convincingly effecting a B story of the cops (Tom Byron and train wreck Penny Flame) tracking down Julie's killer as well as presenting several possible culprits. And, in a movie that is dark but not too dark for its own good, Touchstone gives a ditzy stripper the line "I heard he fucked an elephant and made it scream."

That Grey - and not a Vivid contract girl - leads the cast is not surprising, considering director Paul ("PT") Thomas' other big movie this year, "Faithless," starring Miss America-turned-soap opera actress-turned-full-throated cougar harridan Kelli McCarty.

"Throat" is also a great example of a post-modern porn movie. At two hours it is a throwback to features of yore, but it also takes as its source material "Deep Throat," porn's most famous film and a cultural phenomenon that even found its way into the Watergate scandal.

"What's a 'Deep Throat'?" asks Julie, who lets us know that her "pussy was her enemy" and her "clit like a wart."

Julie is being schooled by Lane (Aliana Love), a fellow stripper at the peep show at which Julie has been forced to work to pay for college. The movie takes its time breaking down Julie's stripperesque misanthropy ("I was sickened by their pathetic neediness," she says. (You and me both, sister!) "But I felt sorry for them, too. If they had someone to love them, they wouldn't be here") and provides a few indulgences not often thrown to porn consumers: a slow burn.

Julie, you see, cannot experience pleasure in her vagina. At first we think it's just because her loser trust-fund boyfriend Eddie (Trent Tesoro) only cares about himself. This is partly true. But the real reason is that Julie's functioning clitoris is in her throat. Once Lane shows Julie how to "deep throat" a dildo (if the characters Lane and Julie know about Linda Lovelace and the origin of that term, they never let on), Julie is hooked on the feeling of finally, finally getting the stimulation she needs.

But even as Eddie becomes the lucky beneficiary of Julie's newfound throat-acumen, he becomes enraged by the thought of how she might have developed it. He gets over it and, like Evan Stone's mercenary gentlemen's club manager later in the movie, pimps her out for cash.

Where "Throat" differs from other porn versions of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams story is the time it takes to set up Julie's betrayals. Before these guys reveal themselves for the sleazebags they are, Julie trusts them.

Similarly does Joe (Tom Byron) trust his partner Byrd (Penny Flame). As you can imagine, Byrd gets drawn in to the sex club scene while investigating the death of Julie, but Byrd is given even more of a past: she's a pill popper and drunk! Not only that, she trades on her shame. In another of "Throat"'s memorable lines she says, "Punish me. I deserve it. I'm no good. Punish me."

The movie gives the audience so much credit throughout that its occasional porny missteps - at the beginning and end - are jarring. Do we really need to see a textbook overlay of the female reproductive system above Grey's pleasing flesh-and-blood parts? Isn't this explained elsewhere? What kind of coroner leaves a patient lying naked and uncovered on a gurney after declaring that her dead (and hot!) little throat "will make history"? Do we need to see what we are already pretty sure is her famous vagina labeled "Vagina"? Perhaps so. Like the coroner is the first to find - long after the detectives are through with her - the condom sticking half out of that "Vagina," maybe the filmmakers believe the audience is likely to miss something.

Similarly, for someone who has clearly stated that she only gets off with her throat, Julie sure spends a lot of time post-epiphany getting it everywhere else. (I'm only complaining about this as a writer, you understand.)

The performances of Grey and Flame are right on the money. The sex is integral to both their stories, and everything their characters say within that context makes sense, and is delivered more convincingly than anything else. We cannot help infer the plight of the millennial 21-year-old porn star Sasha Grey in Julie's "I'm a person!" speech, and we are all too familiar with the upside of bad behavior: sometimes Penny Flame just wants to be punished.

But the deftest touch in "Throat: A Cautionary Tale" comes from Herschel Savage, who plays a Hasid with a crush. He delivers a line from the New Testament (go figure) that is as appropriate to porn as, I don't know, using the word "Children" (as in "Not Married with...XXX") wasn't.

But you owe it to yourself to see the movie. Even if you are no good and need to be punished.

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "Throat: A Cautionary Tale" (gamelink.com)

The producers of "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" knew that only I could bring the type of jowly gravitas to the role of the bookish and distant dad of perky, gap-toothed and barely legal Kira Lynne, who gets my attention by having couch-rattling sex with Jon Jon just inches away.

Of course, I had to submit to hours of aging makeup and was not allowed to bring my own clothing.

Drawing inspiration from Gregory Peck's performance in "To Kill A Mockingbird," I at first expressed grave reservations about Kira's outfit, behavior, and choice of mate, but then allowed my character to gracefully arc through tolerance, acceptance and, ultimately, synthesis. Would that my instructors at Shakespeare & Co. have seen me, doubtless they would have been in awe at my powerful resolve and the titanic reserve I displayed at not breaking character all over Kirra's face.

And I feel that my performance elevated those of my co-stars, a testament to my Meisner, Method, and Scientology training. For their part, directors Grip and Cram Johnson coaxed from me a career-defining interpretation.

I admit that I face competition in the very same movie from the likes of Dirty Harry and Herschel Savage, but I really feel that my entirely improvised performance, my eye contact and emotional connection with my scene partners, will make 2010 my year. I've earned this.

. . .

· Chatsworth Pictures (chatsworthpictures.com)
· Buy "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" (jerkoffzone.com)

Maybe Sasha Grey, who looks pretty disgusted with the Professor’s lack of discipline, can help him regain some perspective. Or she might just be writing “Female Anatomy” on the board; if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed – well, you know how it is.

· Naughty America (www.naughtyamerica.com)
· Buy "Naughty Book Worms #7" (gamelink.com)

. . .

Fallen

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: jessica drake, Jenna Haze, Brad Armstrong, Shyla Stylez, Angie Savage, Ryder Skye, Jennifer Dark, Jada Fire, Lana Croft, Gianna Lynn, Michelle McLaren

"Yes. Right in that little fuckhole," says Jenna Haze in the opening scene of Fallen, a guardian angel-out-of-grace tale from Wicked. But I don't think it's relevant to the story.

drake plays Haze's guardian angel, and when Haze dies in a freak elevator crash, drake feels guilty for screwing up at work. You see, Haze's boyfriend, played by Armstrong, was going to ask her to marry him that night, but Haze decided to go home instead—via elevator.

While it is not lost on this turtlenecked cineaste that Haze dying while going down is a metaphor for angels in general and the state of porn in particular, what is odd is that drake, a supernatural being, gets stuck behind a locked apartment building door.

"It was my job to protect her," drake says, a feather falling to her pointy white angel boots. "And I failed."

This was four years ago, and drake has been fired. Still immortal, she drifts toward the dark side, feeling no love "from above."

Can she be redeemed? Will she turn her back on heaven? That is the theme of Fallen, and not the theme of Dirtpipe Milkshakes 2.

drake visits the seedy, smoky, and dimly lit (a Wicked trademark) fleshpots of Los Angeles after musing prettily atop a building with the L.A. skyline behind her.

Poor drake. Now that she is no longer an angel, the cops think she is a hooker. But then she meets Armstrong, the former boyfriend of dead Jenna Haze. He is a bike messenger now, and they bump into each other when he spills coffee on her. Another metaphor for what he will eventually spill on her? You're goddamn right.

But lonelyhearts Armstrong is the innocent side of drake's new life. She still needs to purge herself of the fleshly temptations she has enjoyed since her wings were clipped. She stops by Jennifer Dark's house to watch her getting reamed.

Finally she goes on a date with Brad. At his house she notices a photo of Haze, her lost charge. She freaks out.

"I took the stairs for months after that," Armstrong says. "Even after they fixed {the elevator}."

The coincidence is all too weird for the fallen angel. She returns to a life of debauchery, blowing Herschel Savage on his cab, inserting things into Angie Savage, and saying things like "it's all too weird."

Fallen sometimes bows under the weight of its own earnestness, and the dialogue at times falls flat, but both drake and Armstrong acquit themselves nicely to a script that leaves lots of room to make her look glamorous, him look sensitive and easygoing, and us believe there is a God who lets His ex-employees go to orgies and stick dildoes in Angie Savage.

The movie resolves in a twist ending. I don't know if couples actually watch porn together or if that is a myth, but Fallen proves itself to be a satisfying and well-shot high-end porn with a moral: don't step into an elevator after saying "fuckhole."

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Fallen" (gamelink.com)

· Buy "Girlvert 16" (jerkoffzone.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive

See more of today's pornstars not as the camera usually sees them but how they really are after the jump.

Here is the always-devastating (and in remission!) Nicki Hunter with porn legend Rodney Moore. The soft-spoken gentleman from Connecticut delivers loads that can leave indentations. It was his "Vampires" party that was the occasion for such toothsomeness.

Moore reminds us of Graham Parker.

Here are Aurora Snow and Nick Manning from Guy Capo's "That 70's Shag". In this vignette from "The Sexual Revolution", Manning says he plays "the Young Ron Jeremy."

Finally, here's Herschel Savage with the legs of Emily Evermore (and a third leg of his own) on the set of Roy Karch's "Insertz", released this week.

* * * * *

Previously: Popshots Archive

Of course, any pornographer going to that bestseller for plots runs the risk of seeming precious, self important. Then again, if we have learned anything in our time together, precious sometimes sells. Read our review of Wicked's "Delilah" after the gap.

- - -

Delilah

Studio: Wicked Pictures
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: jessica drake, Herschel Savage, Kaylani Lei, Sammie Rhodes, Hillary Scott, Randy Spears, Veronica Hart

Review by Gram Ponante

"Ah, sweet Christy: I needed her more than any man ever needed a woman," says Samson Nazarite (Herschel Savage), the Master of the Universe whose devotion to his career drove Christy (Hillary Scott) away. Samson's immediate regret of Christy's departure (he chose to go to a conference with Phyllis Stein & Associates rather than on a lovers' cruise) seems abrupt in light of how he treated her, but even more abrupt is the way Savage takes to Delilah (jessica drake), the frank hairdresser he takes up with soon after.

drake hardly cracks a smile the whole movie; she is a svelte dragon lady.

The graying Savage is a fine actor who, along with Randy Spears, represents porn's mature leading men. A clever trick in adult movies is channeling all the dialogue into voiceovers. These Savage delivers well, but he also has the personal gravitas required of the role.

Unfortunately the movie is lousy with gravitas. Not only do we have the unholy mixing of Old and New Testaments with "Samson" and "Nazarite" (an Old Testament term for one who has taken a vow of abstinence), but Samson has also lost "Christ"y. That and the dim blueness of the sex scenes, in which the lovely drake is seldom fully revealed, makes me think that, as a porn movie, Delilah misses the point; even if jerking off to all the movies that cross my desk is not an option, the idea behind each and every porn movie should always be that I could if I wanted to.

Delilah is not a hit with Samson's friends, Stephanie (Kaylani Lei) and Pete (Spears), nor with his mom (Veronica Hart), all of whom act their asses off in service to a film that is relentlessly depressing.

But ambitious! The story doesn't give up. It has twists and turns that the cast stays with: Delilah has a past, Spears is not the friend he seems, Christy is still in the picture. Samson prays.

A bum (but, you know, one of those supernatural bums with a wealth of wisdom), approaches Samson outside a restaurant with, "What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?" (New Testament again). Oy.

Delilah is, like it or not, an adult movie for adults. There is not a lick of fantasy in it. We believe Spears and Savage, with their high-powered resumes, would actually have icy trophy partners. We believe that men like that might search for redemption in the wrong places. I even believe that certain couples would be turned on by this movie - I just don't know any.

drake, unfortunately, plays an unlikeable character and it works. We don't want to not like jessica drake.

Delilah is the elusive "real movie that happens to have sex in it" that the big adult companies strive for. Not a lot of sex, either; the best-lit scene is with Lei and Spears, and Hillary Scott never appears in anything less than a bikini.

Though the movie ends with Samson getting a second chance - and literally praying for one - the journey there is decidedly un-porny. What does it profit a porn movie to gain a good script but lose my erection?

· Wicked Pictures (wicked.com)
· "Delilah" Trailer on YouTube (youtube.com)
· Buy "Delilah" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Porn Reviews Archive