Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt are petitioning the newly convened 111th Congress to provide a financial bailout for the adult entertainment industry.

Adult industry leaders Flynt and Francis sent a joint request to Congress asking for $5 billion in federal assistance, “Just to see us through hard times,” Francis said. “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses, we feel we deserve the same consideration. In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

Flynt did not say if the $5 billion would help subsidize employee parking in his building, nor did Francis earmark the funds for his legal fees. But it's all in good fun. Maybe Francis will hook Congress up with some GGW hats and mini-tees if it shows him its titties.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Girls Gone Wild (girlsgonewild.com)

Honestly, we don't think it even looks like her — that seems to be happening a lot these days — but then, the idea that Ashley would get thrown out of a hotel in Miami and then take her top off for a bunch of drunk frat boys isn't so farfetched either. Plus, it was five years ago ... which would have made the now (supposedly) 22-year-old, um ... 17? Maybe Joe should check those archives again before he gets himself into more trouble.

· "ASHLEY DUPRE IN 'GIRLS GONE WILD' VIDEO" (nypost.com)

Previously: Everything Else You Wanted To Know About Hookers (But Didn't Care Enough To Ask)

If more of the drunk college chicks and fledgling nightclub exhibitionists who've showed off their ta-ta's for the Girls Gone Wild camera crews had followed this babe's example and called their dads first to tell them what they were about to do, there's every possibility that currently incarcerated boob impresario Joe Francis might have found himself with less legal challenges from outraged parents over the years. Then again, he might also have found himself with a lot less material with which to build his empire to begin with. Still, you have to admit it was a considerate gesture. Let's just hope Dad's curiosity doesn't get the best of him once she winds up on one of those late night infomercials—because, you know, that would really be creepy.

· "Babe calls her dad before stripping for Girls Gone Wild" (yourdirtymind.com)

· Which sign of the apocalypse involves Pamela Anderson returning to star in the Baywatch movie? Because the end times are clearly here. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· You'd think a marketing convention would have the best booth babes of all, since those guys really know how to sell things. Oh, it's online marketing? We guess that's okay, too. (adrants.com)

· A single-celled parasite has been found to cause an increased libido in women, but how the heck are you supposed to get her infected with it before your big date? (esquire.com)

· Joe Francis is charged with sexual battery in a Hollywood case that is completely unrelated to his other legal troubles. Now they're just piling on. (hollywood.com)

· Naked robots are part of our future. Or maybe our past, when robots were still made out of felt. (mimikirchner.com)

· Oh, that whole Virginia Tech thing? It's porn's fault, obviously. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Even we won't stoop to making a joke about the first half of Russian hottie Anna Semenovich's last name. Wow, where did that bit of maturity come from? (latenightpictures.com)

· A woman in Rome is in trouble for taking a nude dip in the Trevi fountain in Rome, just like in that movie! No, the other one. (cnn.com)

· A pornstar coalition—including political gadfly Mary Carey—went to Sacramento to protest a proposed California tax on adult businesses. No politicians were laid during the making of this protest. (nbcsandiego.com)

· Today's Joe Francis update: The Girls Gone Wild guru pleads guilty to one of the charges against him and gets 35 days in jail. If he survives the whole month, everyone on his cell block wins a free t-shirt. (firstcoastnews.com)

· San Diego Padres outfielder Brian Giles will only do nudity if it's essential to story of a baseball game. Or if he's just really, really bored. (aolsportsblog.com)

· Idaho State University officials covered the windows at a campus art gallery to keep unsuspecting eyes away from the nude photos. That concludes our coverage of everything that's happening in Idaho. (ktvb.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

"Girls Gone Wild" svengali Joe Francis is behind bars in Panama City, ironically the place where Ashley Judd found peace in "Ruby in Paradise". Francis was reportedly on his way to turn himself in, having chartered a jet for that purpose, when airport authorities saved him the trouble.

Francis was picked up on a contempt of court charge, ultimately stemming from a 2003 lawsuit filed by women claiming to have been underage when GGW employees filmed them. "Ruby in Paradise" had been filmed ten years earlier, when sweet Ashley Judd was 24. - GP

· "Girls Gone Wild" creator arrested at airport (tmz.com)
· "Girls Gone Wild" Wikipedia entry (wikipedia.org)
· Joe Francis: "Baby, Give Me a Kiss" (latimes.com)
· Dispatches from "Girls Gone Wild" (slate.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

· Watch out, y'all ... another "celebrity" sex tape is supposedly hitting the interweb any day now. You'll never care guess who it is! (OK, it's Lauren and Jason from MTV's "The Hills". Hey, there was a time when you didn't know who Kim Kardashian was either.) (entertainmentwise.com)

· Uma Thurman wears her new bikini ... sorta. The suit isn't really serving any purpose at this point. (egotastic.com + hollywoodtuna.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

· "Girls Gone Wild"'s Joe Francis has been ordered to get a little less wild ... in jail. Perhaps his fellow inmates will take off their jumpsuits for him. (sun-sentinel.com)

· So now a nude-but-not-really photo of the sister of an American Idol contestant that everyone hates anyway qualifies as a scandal? Doesn't anyone have drug-fueled hooker orgies anymore? (worldofwonder.net)

· The editor of Playboy Indonesia is suddenly no longer guilty of indecency. We guess they finally got around to reading the articles. (reuters.com)

· Strippers in Florida will now be allowed to get really nasty on stage. We might have to go and exercise some "artistic freedom" of our own. (orlandosentinel.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· These "new" Keeley Hazell pictures look suspiciously familiar, which means either that they've been published before or they came to us in a dream. There's a pretty good chance it's the latter, so we better link to them anyway just to be safe. (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

· Meanwhile, Tara Reid treats us all to an eyeful of some old friends, minus those uncomfortable-looking plastic surgery scars this time around. Everything old really is new again! (egotastic.com)

· How can the porn industry combat piracy? Turn everything into a live broadcast. Sorry, no do-overs. (news.com.com)

· This story about three Mexican cab drivers showing porn in their taxis also sounds like a repeat, but it isn't. Cab drivers just really like their porn. (foxnews.com)

· Students raise quite a ruckus by printing a special "sex issue" of their high school newspaper. Boy, some kids will do anything to piss off their parents. (unionleader.com)

· A Florida newspaper editor concludes that a bill to ban Girls Gone Wild TV commercials will not stop online porn, as if the two were somehow related. Also, he believes everything he reads on the internet. (t-g.com)

· A town in Germany apparently has a problem with too many people having sex outdoors, which is why we've added it to our itinerary for that next trip to Europe. (iol.co.za)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· If you look very, very closely at this picture, you can imagine what Gisele Bundchen's nipple looks like. Unfortunately, all we can imagine is what the hell that thing on her face might be. (egotastic.com)

· It's a little known fact that pinball machines are havens for big breasted ladies. There's a reason you're always tilting. (zpinaddict.com)

· Halloween is supposed to be wilder than your average night ... that's why these girls just don't get it. (collegehumor.com)

· A film about disabled male strippers is the feel good hit of the year. Or at least the best movie you'll see about strippers with no legs of the year. (guardian.co.uk)

· We have absolutely no idea what is going on in this picture. Ok, we have some idea, since those are definitely penises hanging from the ceiling, but beyond that we're stumped. (chinabroadcast.cn)

· Scientists say that in promiscuous species the male who gets to have sex with a female last is usually the father of her offspring. So even if your girlfriend got around in college, there's still an excellent chance that you'll be the one to knock her up. (newscientist.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Gossip rags are reporting that Dustin "I used to be Screech and I have a 10-inch cock" Diamond has his own sex tape, where he performs the mythical "Dirty Sanchez." We don't think there has ever been a rumor that we didn't want to be true more than this one. (nydailynews.com)

· Just so you know, Kate Beckinsale really likes her husband. We really like her too, but she didn't marry us. (wwtdd.com)

· Would you use a condom that plays music during sex? Does it know any Barry White? (bangkokpost.com)

· "Girls Gone Wild" kingpin Joe Francis cops a plea on his 2257 case and will pay $500,000 out of his own pocket to stay out of jail. You may now show us your (18-year-old and over only!) boobs again. (eonline.com)

· Remember that poor bastard whose bad implant gave him a 10-year erection? Now, a judge say he can't have the money he won in his lawsuit. Come on ... give the guy some satisfaction already. (msnbc.msn.com)

· Britain opens up hundreds of years of archives to reveal the history of sex throughout the nation. The short version: they like to get freaky. (reuters.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Janet Jackson takes her top off—on purpose this time—for an FHM spread. It was a lot more fun when she pretended like it wasn't her fault. (fhmus.com)

· Note to pornographers: even if you manage to get all your models to sign the proper release forms after pulling them out of a bar, drunk, at 3:00 a.m., you still have to actually hold on to that paperwork. The government can really be dicks about obeying the law. (latimes.com, via Gawker)

· New Zealand is overrun by foreigners trying to get jobs in the sex industry. Now, that's an immigration problem we wouldn't mind having up here. (stuff.co.nz)

· A woman in Germany cuts off her husband's penis (after he was dead, thankfully) to keep as a souvenir, claiming it was his "best asset". Guess he didn't spend too much on that life insurance policy. (thesun.co.uk)

· The headline "Gay baths - still a haven for unprotected sex?" is pretty scary ... until you read the article, which explains that they're not. But hey, why stop MSNBC from a little fear-mongering? (msnbc.msn.com)

· Wait ... a swimsuit with a built-in "c-ring"? That makes your "objects" appear bigger? They can't mean what we think they mean, do they? (Yes, they do.) (badadvice.typepad.com)

· Behold Vida Guerra's entire acting career in 36 seconds. We would have rented "Dorm Daze 2" ourselves, but figured we wouldn't be able to follow it since we had never even heard of the first one. (YouTube, via hollywoodtuna.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Could technology become so advanced that in the future we only fuck machines instead of each other? That sounds like the worst science fiction movie ever. (msnbc.msn.com)

· Some quick-draw paparazzo snagged a photo of Penelope Cruz's elusive, half-submerged nipple. You know how in the movie "Jaws," the scariest scenes are the ones where you don't actually see the shark? Well, this is nothing like that. (egotastic.com)

· Tamara Hoover, the Austin art teacher who got in trouble for being interesting - and nude - has settled with her school and resigned from her job. Since her other option was to fight to keep working with a bunch of boring prudes, she probably made the right choice. (statesman.com)

· Despite what you may have heard, sex doesn't sell - at least not to girls anyway. It's a good thing they only make up, like, 50% of the population or something. (businessweek.com)

· Say, it ain't so! Amsterdam threatens to shut down of almost half of the city's Red Light businesses. That would be like taking the casinos out of Las Vegas ... or the hookers. Either one. (jaunted.com)

· Today's tourist advisory: Girls are not allowed to go wild in Orange Beach, Alabama. Any other beach in Alabama would probably be fine though. (al.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Folks are talking about Sunday's LA Times magazine profile of Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis that doesn't paint a very pretty picture of the man or his empire: accusations fly throughout the story about his questionable (and possibly illegal) behavior on and off the now familiar GGW buses, including a physical altercation between the subject and the author herself. It's a rather shocking piece and worth reading in full, especially considering the most serious charges, which are buried well below the fold. You can decide on your own what you think of the whole business, but if you already find those late night commercials with that guy from "The Man Show" to be a little bit creepy, this probably won't help matters.

· 'Baby, Give Me a Kiss' (latimes.com)
· "Joe Francis: Bad PR and Worse Accusations!" (hollywoodinterrupted.com)

Previously: Girls Gone Wild Bus Hit Cyclist (third item), Slate Goes (Girls Gone) Wild