Thus it was odd when I joined a party for little sister site Jezebel's commenters in L.A. (I supplied the door prize porn). I had one thing on my mind: Find out why we've got, like, eight commenters on Fleshbot while all other Gawker Media blogs have thousands.

First, who would have thought to have a party for commenters? Well, delightful pixie Molly McAleer, girl videographer of Defamer, that's who.

"So many people comment on the site that I thought I'd put together a Jezebel party," she said. "Can you bring porn?"

"Yes," I said, "but your commenters identify themselves to each other and aren't content to just read the site?"

"No, they feel compelled to add their opinion and build community," she didn't actually say, but might have.

At the party, which was attended by about 20 Jezebel commenters of varied ages and genders, from students to married couples to a nascent epidemiologist to someone who said Dario Argento's most recent film made her sad, I asked people - all Fleshbot readers, too - why they never commented on our compelling and turgidifying fare.

Here are the top three reasons:

· "I can't look at cocks at work."

· "I don't want someone clicking my username on (apparently wholesome site) Defamer and tracing it to Fleshbot."

· "What more can I say about dirtpipe milkshakes?"

So there you have it: repression, shame, and ignorance. We're better than this, Fleshbot readers. For some reason, comments say as much about a site as Alexa ratings. So take your work laptop into the bathroom with you and look at cocks there, and comment on those cocks, and learn about all the wonderful places they go, and comment on that, too.

And then maybe Fleshbot commenters can get a party someday.

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Comments: Stalking Made Easy

- - -

There is at least one thing that distinguishes the brand spanking new Jezebel—our newest blog sibling and the latest addition to the Gawker Media empire—from what we focus on here at Fleshbot: Jezebel will seek to feature the best in women-orientated fashion, sex, and celeb news "without airbrushing", while ... well, let's just say that we're no strangers to anything that features a bit of judicious retouching around these parts. Still, if their recent entries about things like celebrity poop tips, period panties, Jessica Alba stripping, and "naughty" women's magazines that are anything but are any indictation, we'll have plenty of opportunities for lots of cross-posting goodness in the future. (What is the female equivalent of blue balls anyway?)

· Jezebel: Celebrity, Sex, Fashion For Women. Without Airbrushing (jezebel.com)

While we have nothing but respect for the editorial opinions expressed by our Gawker siblings, we have to tale exception with their calling FUSE's new "Rad Girls" ("Like Jackass, but with smokin' hot chicks!") the worst television show ever. By way of evidence, our colleague Emily describes one of the skteches that ran earlier this week: "On last night's episode, one of the girls ate a lot of cabbage ... oh my God ... and then she went out on the street and saw whether people would allow her to fart directly into their mouths. They did." It might not be to everyone's, er, taste—but somewhere, someone is glad they don't have to deal with defunct Brazilian websites, Japanese translation issues, or mail order headaches in order to get their fart fetish fix. It's all right there on basic cable! (OK, so maybe it is the worst TV show ever. Still, we can't help but be comforted by the fact that at least some pervs out there are going to bed with smiles on their faces this week.)

· "FUSE's 'Rad Girls': Horsewomen Of Apocalypse" (Gawker)
· Rad Girls (fuse.tv)

Previously: The Lost World of Fart Porn, Fetish Videos by Chloe Creations: What's Your Pleasure?, Gassy Gals

· A pregnant woman is just a beautiful sight to behold—especially when she already looks like Eva Herzigova. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Gawker's go-to photog Nikola Tamindzic does what he does best: getting babes you've never heard of to strip down to their undies. Hey, we didn't hire him for his sparkling conversation. (Gawker)

· How silly of us to mention the former teacher turned Playboy model and not wait a couple of hours for the pictures to show up. Will we ever learn? (buck1690.com, via toxicmagazine.com)

· If you still don't have a good idea for tonight, read your Valentine one of these sexy poems from one of the masters of English literature. Everyone knows poets get all the tail. (slate.com)

· We don't remember The Beach Boys ever writing a song about this, but we really wish they had. (totallycrap.com, via myhotbox.blogspot.com)

· Still need a date for this evening? Here's a tutorial on how to get that hottie whose picture you found on Flickr to go out with you, also known as Internet Stalking 101. (wired.com)

· More legislators try to protect you from yourself and the evils of MySpace and blogs. Wait until they hear about what those weirdos are doing on Flickr. (xbiz.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

We appreciate good video game-themed porn as much as the next geek—unless the next geek happens to work at our pixel-headed sibling site Kotaku. Editor Brian C. went above and beyond the call of duty (way beyond for a Gawker Media employee; it's kind of embarrassing, actually) to get an exclusive feature with the creators of Whorecraft—the fantasy role playing inspired porn site formerly known as "Whores of Warcraft"—which included a behind-the-scenes look at this fusion of geekdom and high-quality smut and an exclusive photo set, shot just for Kotaku, featuring the lovely Hannah Harper. That's where we come in, since apparently the under-18 gaming set might have an issue with full-frontal nudity. (Crybabies!) Of course, we're happy to oblige by posting the more risqué portion of the gallery on their behalf. Corporate synergy rocks!

· Whorecraft: Hannah Harper (Fleshbot Gallery)
· "The World of Whorecraft" (Kotaku)
· Whorecraft (whorecraft.net)

Previously: "Whores of Warcraft"

Obsessive readers of Gawker Media websites (Seriously, what's wrong with you people? Go play outside or something) have been enthralled by blanket coverage of the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, courtesy of the nerd patrols at Gizmodo and Kotaku. (And some other places too.) The more astute among you may even be scratching your heads and saying, "Wait a second ... the Adult Entertainment Expo is also in Las Vegas this week. A porn convention and a gadget convention in the same city, at the same time?" Coincidence? We think not—and neither does Boing Boing's Xeni Jardin, who is on the case in the guise of her mild-mannered NPR correspondent alter ego. It turns out it's not just a matter of two organizations using the same travel agent. Believe it or not, geeks and pervs have a lot in common. (Hint: They all like to gamble.)

· Tech and Porn Conventions Collide in Las Vegas (audio @ npr.org)
· "NPR 'Xeni Tech': Tech and Porn collide in Vegas" (Boing Boing)

See also:
· "Why CES and AVN broke up" (gramponante.com)
· CES 2007 Coverage (Gizmodo)
· CES 2007 Coverage (Kotaku)
· Fleshbot's 2007 AVN Expo Coverage

· Mariah Carey wants to prevent Mary Carey from trademarking her name. Shouldn't this story have been written like, four years ago when it might have mattered? (avn.com)

· Jennifer Lamiraqui sure looks good in lingerie. Maybe it helps that they're both French? (doubleviking.com)

· Are Indian men really underendowed when compared to ... uh, non-Indian men? Gawkering minds want to know, so they asked the one Indian guy they could find ... with little success, no pun intended. (Gawker)

· Exhibiting more than their usual interest in genitalia this week, Gawker also investigates the celebrity crotch shot phenomenon, asking two experts a whole bunch of questions that we've remained too dumbfounded to think of ourselves. (Gawker)

· A priest in Romania plans to fine any brides who come before him that aren't virgins. Fortunately, the definition of "virgin" is not exactly written in stone. (metro.co.uk)

· A court rules that you can be fired for passing around emails of Wicked Weasel girls, and the Americans with Disabilities Act isn't going to help you. Not even if it gives you carpal tunnel syndrome? (news.com.com)

· Finally, the new guy at our sibling site Valleywag digs up the softcore past of the web's sauciest search engine. We think that kid has a future ahead of him. (Valleywag)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· The release of the new James Bond movie gives Page 3 an excuse to photograph three hot babes topless in a casino. As if they needed an excuse to do that. (As if we needed an excuse to post more Keeley Hazell and Michelle Marsh pictures.) (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Several days after we broke the story (and after everyone already started to lose interest), AVN and other "news" outlets finally get around to "reporting" on the Britney Spears Sex Tape That Wasn't. Next week: Have Halloween costumes become too sexy? (avn.com + stuff.co.nz)

· So of course you want to know what very gay former Project Runway winners think of the whole Britney thing? Of course you do—and Gawker is here to help! (Gawker)

· And the alleged Britney Spears Sex Tape leaks just keep on coming! This may be the most convincing clip we've seen yet. (pissfunny.com - thanks L.)

· A California couple get arrested for "overt sexual activity" on a flight to North Carolina. We're not sure what that means, but it sounds fun. (abcnews.go.com)

· Our silicon-enhanced sibling site Valleywag gets taken over by some crazed upstart, who immediately starts posting bush photos. Hey, buddy ... that's our beat! (Valleywag)

· Dubai police start cracking down on "beach pests" who roam the shores fully clothed so they can stare at women. They're also known as "men." (redorbit.com)

· Lose weight the old fashioned way with scientifically proven pole dancing workout. Ask us how! (fredericknewspost.com)

* * * * *
Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Our little baby siblings at Idolator are barely our of their blog diapers, but we can already see the family resemblance in this adorably-NSFW post. (They grow up so fast these days!) Not content to let Ice-T take all the glory, they tracked down the best examples of naked album cover art from years past. We couldn't be prouder of their ability to sniff out a nice piece of smut, even if this cover of John Lennon and Yoko Ono's "Two Virgins" album is more disturbing then sexy. Trust us, though, when we say there's more good stuff if you'll just click through and pay your respects. We just want to treasure these moments, while they're still young. Soon they'll be asking to borrow the car and trying to link to other blogs in the back seat. If only they stayed this age forever.

· Idolator's Guide To Completely NSFW Album Art (Idolator)

Previously: Sexy Record Covers, Peaches: "Impeach My Bush"

· In an announcement that surprises no one, Dustin "Screech" Diamond admits that he made some scratch off selling the distribution rights to his sex tape. Now, let us never speak of this again. (tmz.com)

· Not merely content to serve up a bunch of hot girls in bikinis this week, our gearshift-stroking siblings at Jalopnik continue to further muscle in on our territory by asking you to decide who's hotter: Moscow or Paris auto show babes. We're calling it a photo finish, though the Russians have a slight edge when it comes to the fetish-quality footwear. (Jalopnik)

· Is there a better practical joke than the fake anal probe? Especially when the victim is Jack Nicholson? Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio are a regular Abbott and Costello, they are. (celebitchy.com)

· Ultimate Fighting Champion Tito Ortiz talks about his new girlfriend, Jenna Jameson. We've actually never heard of him, but don't say anything because we want to hold on to all our teeth. (tbo.com + miami.com)

· Senator George Allen takes a contribution given to him by Congressman Mark Foley, whose career was ruined by a sex scandal, and gives it to an anti-porn group headed by Donna Rice—whose only previous accomplishment is ruining Gary Hart's career in a sex scandal. All that irony hurts our feelings. (nydailynews.com, scroll down + Wonkette, third item)

· Sarah Michelle Gellar was disappointed that she had to find out about her first nude scene from her personal trainer, but not as disappointed as we were to learn that it wasn't actually happening. You shouldn't joke about things like that. (starpulse.com)

· Prison sex is pretty common, and even a female inmate getting pregnant is not unheard of ... unless she's on death row ... in solitary confinement. Sounds like a pretty complicated escape plan to us. (reuters.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Given the division of labor here at Gawker Media, we're usually perfectly content to let our fellow editors handle topic of interest to their readers while we slog away in the porn mines by our lonely selves—which is to say that under normal circumstances, we wouldn't pay much attention to the goings-on at an auto show like the NOPI Nationals, preferring instead to let our esteem'd colleagues at Jalopnik do all the work. Throw in an insanely hot bikini contest, however, and all bets are off—and add to that an exclusive photo gallery that managed to full into their grease-stained laps, and we're suddenly questioning why we got stuck covering this whole "porn" thing in the first place Maybe some internal job shuffling is in order? After all, we may not know much about cars, but damn it if we don't know our bikinis.

· "Are You A NOPI Chic? Dubspeed Driven's Choose Your Own Adventure Photo Galleries" (Jalpnik; photo gallery starts here)
· NOPI Nationals Bikini Contest Finals (more photos @ speedsportlife.com)

Previously: NASCAR Wives and Girlfriends (+ Bonus Race Girls!), Carzone Babes, Liz Cohen: "Bodywork", Simoni Racing Cars & Girls, 2006 Pirelli Calendar, Flickr Racequeens, Seat Babes,The Girls of SEMA, Fast Curves, Nude Auto Mall, More Pedal Pumping Action, Car Stuck Girls

Our hair gel smuggling colleagues at Gridskipper have concluded their totally scientific and legally-binding World's Sexiest City poll and determined that, for this year at least, New York City is so fucking hot. It makes sense, since as any New Yorker will tell you (and they will tell you; over and over and over again) everything that happens in the Big Apple is by definition completely awesome. The final results of the contest's lesser categories are still to come ... just like you will the second you step into Manhattan, of course. Just thinking about spending five minutes alone with Queens gets our hearts racing so fast—we better go lie down and try to picture Salt Lake City and Liverpool going at it. It's almost like taking a cold shower.

· "World's Sexiest City: And The Winner Is ..." + "Least Sexiest City: Liverpool v. Salt Lake City" + "Most Masculine City: New York v. Detroit" (Gridskipper)

Previously: Japanese Fetish Club Tour, Sex Toy Travel Advisory, Tours Gone Wild, Strippers of London, Kama of Kingston: Sexy Devadasi, Fetish Guide to Berlin, Japanese Love Hotel Videos, Deep Inside Miami Velvet, Hot Love in Prague

· Check out these new GQ pictures of Kelly Brook doing that thing she always does. You know, the usual ... looking incredibly hot while showing off her giant rack. (doubleviking.com)

· Speaking of looking hot, has Kate Hudson always looked quite this good? It's been awhile since we were forced to sit through one of her movies, so sometimes we lose track of these things. (egotastic.com)

· The voting is now open in Gridskippper's "World's Sexiest Cities" contest. Don't let your city lose to Detroit. (Gridskipper)

· Someone with a rather active imagination has built a sex machine ... out of Legos. It's not pretty, but as long as the right piece fit in the right slot, it should get the job done. (that.kicks-ass.org, via wired.com)

· If you're lucky enough to be in a country that treats sex workers with at least a little bit of respect, the least you could do is pay your taxes on time. Don't ruin it for everyone else. (news.com.au)

· A randy couple "endanger" an aircraft by having sex in the lavatory. See, this is why we had to invent private planes. (injurywatch.co.uk)

· Italian Vogue takes a shot at our new security-obsessed world with photos of hot chicks getting harassed by cops. We guess everyone had to deal with this day in their own way. (voguevanity.it, via Gawker)

· Finally, an oldie but a goodie: if you've never seen director Gaspard Noé's video for Placebo's "Protect Me From What I Want" (2004), here's your chance. Just make sure you get to it before YouTube does.

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Big sticky love and congrats to our own Violet Blue, who has just been named the new sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. Hate to pull rank in her hour of celebration, but remember: we saw her first. (tinynibbles.com)

· Some defective boob tape reveals 1/100th of an inch (all figures are approximate) of Beyonce's areola. So close, yet so far away. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Always looking out for our filthy interests, Lifehacker puts together a greatest hits package with the best tips for surfing the web privately and anonymously. We're totally sending them a Christmas card this year. (Lifehacker)

· Forget hair gel and suntan lotion, but personal lubricants - a.k.a. "sex grease" - are once again safe to carry on airplanes. You'll need the whole tube just to squeeze two people into one of those bathrooms. (Wonkette)

· A brothel in Sydney, Australia, is offering gas discounts to draw in customers. When you're paying more for a tankful of regular than you do for a blowjob, that's when you know times are tough. (news.com.au)

· South Korea discovers the phenomenon that is the adult trade "sexpo." You never forget your first booth babe. (chosun.com + times.hankooki.com)

· What's the newest vile threat to our children? Art museums. Yes, exposing your kids to culture may also expose them to paintings of naked ladies, so perhaps you should go back to letting the TV raise them. (houstonist.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

It wasn't very long after the invention of the first vibrating video game controller that someone first got the idea of incorporating it into their sexual activities. (We're guessing the actual elapsed time was about two seconds.) The history of these dual-use pleasure devices is long and distinguished, but our pixel-humping sibling site Kotaku may have stumbled on a new wrinkle in the genre, courtesy of Xbox 360's new Live Vision Camera. While chatting online with a fellow gamer, you can now use your controller to active the vibration feature on the controller of the person you're talking to. The implications of this may not be entirely clear to the non-gamers out there, so we'll spell it out for you: you can put this thing in your vagina and have a Microsoft employee jerk you off from Seattle. Welcome to the future.

· GC06: "Major Nelson Alludes To Exciting Masturbatory Functions of Vision Cam!" (Kotaku)
· "Xbox teledildonics from xbox, with live video chat" (tinynibbles.com)

Previously: "Sex in Video Games" @ SxSW, Sex Toy TechWatch: Je Joue Programmable Vibrator, Virtual Reality Sex Machine, Nintendo Revolution Sex Toy?, Sexercise Bike Mod, Xbox Vibrator Mod

· With all the attention paid to celebrity see-through shots, it's a little sad that the ass is so often overlooked. Thank you, Heather Locklear! (wwtdd.com)

· The Miss World contest has a nipple problem of its own, as Polish officials prefer their cartoon mermaids fully dressed. Frankly, we think any pageant could always use a bare boob or two. (canada.com)

· Our nerdy Lifehacker brethren offer us this handy download that helps you hide program windows from nosy nellies. We passed, though, because our bosses get mad if they don't see tits on our monitors. (Lifehacker)

· Looking to spice up your marriage? Try bringing a laptop to bed. We've never had cybersex with the other person actually in the room before, but if you can't lie about your appearance then what's the point? (nytimes.com + Gawker)

· Porn provocatuese Lizzy Borden is selling custom portable dancer poles. So how do you customize a pole, anyway? (Er, forget we asked.) (avn.com)

· Tokyo changes its mind and now says people can see naked pictures of a pregnant Britney Spears on the subway. Thank goodness, that's cleared up. (dailymail.co.uk)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives