Fleshbot Birthday Babes^(TM): Beatrice Valle

A fellow never forgets his first gangbang – especially if a woman was there. Beatrice Valle was in mine. It would've been even more vivid if I'd been physically present, but you can't have everything. More »

Fleshbot Birthday Babes^TM: Jacqueline Lorians

Every now and then something comes along, like these pictures of Birthday Girl Jacqueline Lorians, that makes us long for the innocence of an earlier time. More »

Honestly, we had never heard of French "supermodel" Morgane Dubled, but we're happy to make her acquaintance. It's always been our philosophy that you can never know too many sexy French babes in see-through lingerie. (cameltap.com)

Liberté, Egalité, And Confused Looking European People Having Sex In Fancy Costumes: Happy Bastille Day!

We tried to find you some hot French Revolution porn to help celebrate Bastille Day today; we came up with this assortment of very odd 18th century "mature" cosplay smut instead. Hey, at least we tried. If you close your eyes, you can pretend they're at least speaking French if you want to—in fact, closing your eyes might be the best way to deal with this stuff anyway. (TGP/preview galleries @ retromature.com, via Ask Jolene)

If we had to describe French men's magazine Lui by its covers—and there are a ton to choose from in this gallery that spans three decades worth—we'd say it's a sexy European answer to Playboy and Penthouse. It's in French, though, so we can't even pretend that we want to read it for the articles. (livejournal.com, via Otomano)

Because you can never have too many Kama Sutras, and because pairing the language of love with the book of love just seems right, we present you with the French Kama Sutra. Admit it, "La Danse" totally sounds sexier than the plain old "missionary position". (french-kamasutra.com, via Sexoteric)

Naughty French Maids Will Wipe The Floor With You

Why are naughty French maids such a potent sexual fantasy? Is it because deep down in our hearts we know that sex is dirty and unclean and so we feel the need to fetishize the very act of purifying our surroundings, and even our very souls? Or is it as simple as that old Seinfeld joke: "It's a woman in your room"? Whatever it is that makes it so exciting, you never have to look far to find a pornographic excuse to be caught being a very filthy boy or girl. You are filthy, aren't you? So why not let these sexy ladies (found with a little help from our friends at Your Dirty Mind) tidy up a bit?
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Flesh Flicks: Unburied Treasure

Speaking of "Pirates" and its long-belated sequel, maybe now would be a good time to revisit that earlier piece of cinematic porn history? No, not the Jesse Jane/Carmen Luvana smut vehicle from 2005, but this lesser-known French version from ... who knows when? There's no way to tell if this predates "Pirates" or even "Pirates of the Carribbean"—the trilogy or the theme park ride—but it's obvious that no matter what country or era your filth comes from, everybody loves a good swashbuckling. More »

Flesh Flicks: Blowjobs 101

Look, not everyone is born an expert when it comes to certain sexual arts: you can't just show up for your first important blowjob and expect to nail it on the first try. And guys, do you think that girl who gave you the best hummer of your life in the back row of that Whitesnake concert didn't have a few practice rounds under her belt? But where does one go to acquire such a talent? Finally, the truth can be revealed with this behind the scenes look at one of the finest blowjob academies in the world. (we know it's one of the finest because they actually break down the whole process into three easy-to-swallow steps ... with diagrams, even!) Just remember when that big exam comes to keep your eyes on your own cock, OK? More »

Flesh Flicks: Laid Up

Stop us if you've heard this one before. A man goes to a doctor and the doctor tells him, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you've been in a massive car accident, all the bones in your legs are broken, you received a traumatic blow to the head, and your girlfriend is going to use your current state of delirium to rob your of all your wealth. The good news is the you have a permanent erection and your hot, horny nurse will be here in a moment." Actually, now that we think about it, that isn't much of a joke at all. We just hope the man's insurance will cover all this. More »

Flesh Flicks: Parlez Vous Anal?

Here's a rough computerized translation of the fake IM conversation that opens this erotic workplace encounter. More »

Stripping Stewardesses Make Cockpits Soar

The internets were on the hunt this weekend for a randy stewardess flight attendant caught on videotape showing her crewmates something a little more entertaining than the standard in-flight movie. With nothing much to go on other than a face, The Sun of London was content to make a few bad aviation sex puns and move on, but then a few days passed and up popped video No. 2 of these crazy sky-high antics. We're not really convinced that the same woman stars in both clips, but everyone involved appears to be French and maybe that's just how they do things on that nation's AOM airline. Of course, that might also explain why that airline is now out of business. The moral is that when the captain of your next flight comes over the intercom to tell you it's going to be an uneventful flight, don't believe a word of it. More »

Sexy Graffiti: Tilt's Fetish Bubble Girls

Meet Tilt, an internationally recognized graffiti artist hailing from the south of France who enjoys putting his tag on anything he can get his hands on ... especially when "anything" happens to be the body of a hot young girl. Lucky for us, he also enjoys taking pictures of his "fetish bubble girls" and putting them on the Internet (and in a book, too). Graffiti and naked girls: who knew those two great tastes would go so great together? (Well, we actually had a pretty good idea already. But it's nice to see our hunch was right all along.) More »

Art Fred's Milky Girls Do A Body Good

With a few exceptions, the only times we see milk showing up in sexy photos of hot naked women is when it's spilled all over their boobs—which is sort of obvious when you think about it (and you don't even have to think about it too hard). For the Paris-based photographer who goes by the name Art Fred, however, milk is just one more element he uses to create his palatte of sensuous nude models—in this case, an element which happens to look a lot like female ejaculate when photographed under certain conditions. (Note: we don't recommend actually putting milk on or near any pussies yourself unless you know what you're doing. But man, it makes for some hot photos!) More »

Flesh Flicks Double Team: Prison Break

We read somewhere that our country is sending more women to prison than ever before and from what we learned from watching porn movies (which is how we learn everything) this isn't much of a punishment. From the moment women enter a correctional institution, they're welcomed with open arms by fellow inmates, who are quick to complement them on their snappy jumpsuits and introduce them to new friends. And the guards could not be more friendly to the new convicts, always making an extra effort to know their charges intimately. Maybe if they got this much loving from folks on the outside, they wouldn't have ended up in prison in the first place. More »

NuExpo: Where Hot Naked Models Only Look Really Expensive

Naked lady-loving cheapskates that we are, we like to think we have a preternatural ability to sniff out a sexy pay site from twenty paces away. So when we started clicking around the slickly designed NuExpo and starting noticing certain things—the provocative thumbnails, the tempting-looking text links ending in ellipses, all that French—we naturally assumed that we'd be confronted with a dead end "Join Now!" page sooner or later (most likely sooner if past experience was any indication). Well, what do you know? Turns out it's not a paysite after all, but rather a serious-minded and profusely illustrated monthly showcase for the best in international nude and glamour photography. There's a lot to look at here, and to think that they'll be a whole new menu in a month's time makes us fairly giddy with delight. Maybe sometimes the best things in life really are free! More »

Francois Benveniste Shows Us The French Way

We've heard a lot of talk about how the French are supposed to do it better—but better than what? No matter getting into nuances of interpretation, though: Paris-based photogapher Francois Benveniste certainly does it well enough for us. Benveniste's nude studies of gorgeous, out-of-the-ordinary women beautifully blend seduction with innocence, and also manage to make the edgy (and sometimes mildly gory) incredibly sexy as well. If this is how the French do it, we wouldn't want it any other way. More »

Black And White Porn Is Just As Filthy As The Full Color Kind

It is a truth universally acknowledged that black and white photography is automatically classier and of greater artistic value than the more realistic but (therefore) more vulgar full color kind, and nowhere is that concept more apparent than in the world of hardcore smut. For a helpful example, look no further than this newish French photo blog, in which the proprietor has posted a bunch of black and white porn pics: if they were in color they'd just be your usual interestingly composed and cropped but otherwise garden variety wank fodder, but thanks to the magic of greyscale tonality they're transformed into the kind of highbrow visual culture that wouldn't be out of place in an expensive coffee table book or hanging on the walls of a fancy art gallery. (Which isn't to say that you still can't wank to it, of course. It's just that now you can wank to it and feel a little more classy about doing so.) More »

95D = French For Big (Enough) Boobs

Damn those Europeans and their silly metric system! When we first caught sight of the URL for this French boob blog, we were naturally excited that it would feature some less-than-naturally outsized megabreast action, something along the lines of one of the silicone- or Photoshop-enhanced fantasy showcases we've featured here in the past. But then we figured out that the rather impressive-sounding 95D translates to a mere 37.4 inches (the cup size, we presume, remains the same), which isn't that big ... though big enough, we guess, to give big boobs fanciers plenty to chew on while still keeping things in the realm of real-life possibility. Maybe bigger really isn't better after all. (On second thought ... nah.) More »

Meet Mathilde, A Mystery In French

We love it when hot French babes email us naked pictures of themselves and then describe in great detail how much they love our site and our fabulous sense of style and humor and how they can't wait to come to America and take us to Disneyland. Unfortunately, they usually tell it to us in French, so we don't know for sure what they're actually saying and we sort of just guess. The pictures, however, are real and these came to us from the mysterious Mathilde, who has plenty more where that came from on her own site, which also includes a blog and other info and even more French words that we don't know. She may be hiding her thoughts behind our language deficiencies and her face behind that reddish-brown hair, but everything else is on display in the gallery of photos she sent us after the jump. Picture speak louder than words anyway, right? More »

Pantyhose Hotness @ Collants Passion

We did our best to keep up with the latest developments on the runway at Fashion Week this year, and although it didn't manage to hold our interest for very long (= not enough see-through fabric or model nipple slips), we were at least able to appreciate the importance of pantyhose in this history of haute couture—thanks in large part to this Belgian blog that bills itself as "Le premier blog belge entièrement consacré aux collants et créé par un garçon qui enfile cette seconde peau tous les jours." (Which we're pretty sure translates as something like "Tons of hot pics of sexy babes (and the occasional dude) wearing sheer, skintight pantyhose and very little else". Our French skills may be suspect, but we're proud to say we know cutting-edge fashion when we see it.) More »

In case you missed it the first time around, someone's gone ahead and uploaded French Canadian hip hop performer Mic Life's porntastic "Putes" clip to YouPorn for your viewing pleasure. We still don't know what he's rapping about, but those glowsticks are every bit as penetrating as we remember. (youporn.com)

A Hit Is A Hit: "Mafia Girl"

Now that "The Sopranos" has been relegated to edited reruns on basic cable and Gina Lynn has given up sliding up and down stripper poles at the Bada Bing to return to, uh, sliding up and down different kinds of poles, how does one get their fix of sexy organized crime action? Of course, you can always sniff out appearances by pornstars like Isabella Soprano and Carmella Bing, and there's always the "The Sopornos" franchise to catch up on ... but since we like extending our porn turf as much as possible, we'll be looking forward to French smut godfather Marc Dorcel's "Mafia Girl" when it's released next month. So what if it transposes all that hot and bloody action to an elegant-looking European capital instead of the gritty streets of Newark? We bet HBO wouldn't have given babes like Yasmin, Sarah Twain, and Eufrat the license to show off their blowjob skills in their strip club cameos either. (We'd make a stupid joke about them making us an offer we couldn't refuse, but then we'd have to whack ourselves for being so predictable. Instead of, you know, just whacking off.) More »

Say Bonjour To Chloe

It used to be that we couldn't swing a baguette around these parts without running into some French amateur porn site or other, and while we've no doubt that horny French folks are still taking their clothes off on the interweb as much as ever we don't seem to come across nearly as many of their websites as we used to. So we were happy to find a personal invitation from the mysterious Chloe herself in our inbox this morning inviting us to check out her newly launched online home. So what if the video section seems to be broken, or that (in true French amateur porn site fashion) her face is barely visible in any of her several dozen otherwise sexy homemade art nudes and boudoir shots? It's the thought that counts, and we appreciate it. More »

Deep Inside Nena Blue

Speaking of press releases this morning, we seem to have missed the one telling us about the newish erotic photography emporium Nena Blue (no relation to Violet, as far as we know), which has been popping up on several of our favorite blogs and other places we go to scope out sexy content this week. And with good reason, too: the subscription-based site (with a generous free preview area) showcases erotic work by dozens of photographers from all over the world, with a particular emphasis on the surreal, the baroque, and the symbolic. So what if some of their English language content is imperfectly translated, or if their blog isn't translated at all, or if some of their pages don't display properly in Safari (though other browsers seem to work fine)? With a collection of photos this hot to sift through, it's not like we'd be paying much attention to the text or layout anyway. More »

Now You See Them (Covered In Splooge), Now You Don't

This latest French sex blog discovery is based on a simple but intriguing premise: show pairs of photos depicting the same model before and after (and sometimes during) some sort of hardcore experience or another. Many of the diptychs are culled from various sites at Kink.com, whose policy of showing models smiling while being wrapped up in full-body rope harnesses or subject to electroshock devices has been well documented, though the expressions here range from erotic contentment to the familiar "Ow, that cum in my eye really hurts!" kind of look we've all experienced ourselves. (Er, some of us anyway.) Depending how you look at it, it's either a visual musing on the passing of time as it relates to the complexities of pornographic representation; a convenient way to see for yourself how different types of eyeliner respond to various liquid substances under stress; or simply another creative way to get your rocks off by looking at dirty pictures in a new context. No one's making you think too hard about these sorts of things, you know. More »

In Search Of Sylvia Kristel: "Emmanuelle" Lives!

Calling her "the world's most famous porn star" might be a stretch for a generation bought up on Jenna and Tera, but there was a time when you couldn't swing a Betamax tape without seeing Sylvia Kristel, who created the title role of the French softcore classic "Emmanuelle" in 1974 and starred in several of its sequels throughout the following decade (as well as in mainstream releases like the classic "Airport '79"). More »

Flesh Flicks: Viva La Creepy French Dudes!

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Fleshbot Scene Study: Volume 1

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Porn Du Moment: Marc Dorsel's "French ConneXion"

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Carnets Pornographiques: When You Care Enough To Send The Very Breast

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3-D Fetish Photos By Charles Mons: You Are There

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Flesh Flicks: Viva La French Girls

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