Seattle's HUMP! Festival anonymous amateur porn films that are only screened during the festival itself (with a few excellent exceptions that make their way to the internets later). LA's Erotic Film Fest is a two-day conference featuring both discussion panels and curated porn selections from artists of all genres. And New York's Cinekink does much of the same, but with an ever-ongoing series of touring film screenings. Meanwhile, San Francisco's GV Amateur fest does one thing, and this year did it perfectly: a panel of sexperienced judges picked eight local amateur skin flicks, and gave prizes to the top three.

As it turns out, even amateur porn in San Francisco exhibits a pretty high standard of production values (many entries were from semi-pro filmmakers) and the selection encompassed the sexual diversity we love The City for. On hand in the VIP room were some of the films' stars (and judges) we've spent much mouse time with, such as Madison Young and Sadie Lune. Judges included and Pink and White Productions' drop-dead sexy dykestar Jiz Lee, along with Midori, Tim Gaskin, and Carol Queen, among others.

"Drawn Into A Fantasy" featured outrageously hot dyke action, with a director recently graduated from UC Berkeley's Film Studies department. Travis Matthews had us riveted with "Men", an "ode to Larry Craig" featuring a creepy-hot all-male bathroom stall jack-off segment set to the rhythmic dripping of a tap (faucet). One of our favorite entries wasn't visually explicit but instead had us laughing and uncomfortably horny all at once: stand-up comic Jeff Jacobson's irreverent "Superballs". And Fleshbot crush object Madison Young's "Writers and Rockstars" delivered the fastest, nastiest, kinkiest, and possibly most delicious hardcore, chemistry-drenched fuck of the night, with gorgeous Madison sucking cock, taking it rough and fucking a well-hung hot boy the way we've always wanted to see her go off.

Hot phone sex entry "Fine Wine took home a prize, and had a nice complex plot with a twist. There were many more, but we're glad for the food entry to go with our hooch: Sadie Lune's sweet BDSM lesbian short "Yum", a delicious montage of food-making and rope-tying, couscous and hot wax.

But the intermission entertainment provided by San Francisco burlesque performers Molly Molotov and Isabella Minx (from the Diamond Daggers) might have been the tastiest part of all, especially when the cute-as-a-button "Sugar" dancer accidentally popped a pastie ... yet somehow jiggled onward to a fine finish.

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· Good Vibes Amateur Erotic Film Fest Gallery (Fleshbot Gallery)

Video:
· "burlesque at the GV film fest 3" (+ more @ blip.tv)
· "Fine Wine" (permanentlounge.com)
· "Superballs" (jeffjacobsonworld.com)

See also:
· Madison Young (madisonbound.com)
· Sadie Lune (onemodelplace.com)
· Jiz Lee (crashpadseries.com)
· Midori (planetmidori.com)
· Carol Queen (carolqueen.com)

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Previously: Their Humps: HUMP! Amateur Porn Contest 2007, CUM2CUT: Do-It-Yourself Porn Comes To Berlin, Getting A Leg Up In Porn, Berlin Porn Film Festival

As much as we like to complain about the continued Disneyfication of YouTube (and as much as we're resenting the Powers That Be over there for depriving us all of our required dose of pussy power last week), we have to admit that every so often someone uncovers a true gem that totally redeems the online video sharing behemoth in our book ... like Ed Wood's 1953 transexual verité classic "Glen Or Glenda?", presented here in all its 69 minute exploitative glory. If you haven't yet seen this tender tale of sexual reassignment surgery and softcore kink, do yourself a favor and take advantage of YouTube's temporarily generous largesse while you still can. (We'd trying making it a double feature by uploading our own out-of-print release of Wood's 1971 vampire sexfest "Necromania", but we have a feeling YouTube's censors won't be as keen on all that coffin fucking action as they seem to be on all those soft cashmere sweaters and hairy Adam's apples.)

· "Glen Or Glenda?" (YouTube, via http://www.sexblo.gs/archives/004561.php">sexblo.gs/bibi.vlog.br)
"Glen Or Glenda?" (Wikipedia)

Previously: Ed Wood's "Necromania" on DVD, More Ed Wood on DVD

There are two things in life we can't do with out: porn and top-shelf booze. (Or bottom shelf. We're not that picky, actually.) So when we hear about something like Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival, obviously it's going to get our attention. The yearly festival is a double gathering in both Montreal and Toronto that gives aspiring filmmakers a chance to tackle their favorite subject and (we assume) do a lot of drinking. The festival itself isn't until later this year, but they are currently taking submissions for short films under four minutes length. They movies don't actually have to be porn (though we're sure a little T&A wouldn't hurt), they're just looking for funny or interesting takes on sex that hopefully rise above the unintentional comedy you find on PornoTube every day. So if you've got an idea in your brain and a video camera, start working on that script. You might want to stock up on ice, too—someone had to keep all those drinks cold.

· Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival (rules + entry form @ hardliquorandporn.com)
· Hard Liquor and Porn on MySpace (myspace.com)

Previously: 2007 XFANZ Erotica Film Festival, 2007 Seattle Erotic Art Festival, CineKink Kickoff Party, HUMP! 2: Call for Indie Porn Submissions, Barcelona Erotic Film Festival 2006, Berlin Porn Film Festival

· Don't forget to celebrate that all-important birthday this week. Of course, we mean July 5, 1946: the day the bikini became a beacon of freedom for belly buttons everywhere. (sfgate.com)

· In honor of that other holiday, The Smoking Gun brings together its two favorite things about America: mug shots and strippers. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! (thesmokinggun.com)

· Our nerdy little brother Valleywag has more info on Veoh's decision to remove all the smutty goodness from its site. It's all very legal-y, so all we want to know is this: when can we have our free nudity again? (Valleywag)

· Your carpal tunnel syndrome will be a thing of the past
once you get a hold of this new ergonomic keyboard/naughty french maid outfit. No more one handed typing — if you can find a secretary to fill the position, that is. (newlaunches.com, via Gizmodo)

· The French director of the soon-to-be-classic "Little Bulgarian Sluts" is changing the title because Bulgarians don't appreciate having their national symbols mocked. (Go figure.) The movie still features sluts from Bulgaria, but at least no one will be offended by the title. (novinite.com)

· Why do spammers send spam in the first place? Because it works; people click and someone makes money. So why do they click? Because everybody loves porn. (nytimes.com, registration required)

· Ever feel like you're not getting the full level of service you deserve when you're on the phone with one of those call centers in India? Don't blame it on the language barrier—your helpful customer care representative is probably just tired from all the sex and drugs he's been having with the girl in the next cubicle. (timesonline.co.uk)

· Following up on the Spencer Tunick news from yesterday, some police officers in Britain have been accused of selling close-up, closed circuit television images of the participants in his U.K. shoot last year. So much for that "safety in numbers" concept. (nzherald.co.nz)

· .XXX: the domain that refuses to die! (theinquirer.net)

· The good news: Winona Ryder's bare breasts make a much-anticipated appearance in Richard Linklater's upcoming "A Scanner Darkly". The bad news: the boobies in question are animated. (cinematical.com)

· Google is claiming victory in its "porn probe fight" (mmm, probes) with the government over search data subpoenaed by the Department of Justice: the company says it will submit some URL data but will not turn over information on search queries from its users. Then again, you don't have to worry anyway because you find your porn on Fleshbot instead of searching for it from scratch ... er, right? (zdnet.co.uk)

· Meanwhile, art photographer Barbara Nitke's federal obscenity charge* appeal was denied by the Supreme Court this week. Be afraid. Be very afraid. (latimes.com) (*Update - see comments below.)

Thumbnail via Barbara Nitke: The Sexuality Project (barbarnitke.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

"Ah, the life of a San Fernando porn puppy ... it's quite the life" says Taylor Wane at the beginning of Margie Schnibbe's wonderful "Pornstar Pets" documentary—and once you've seen Ron Jeremy feeding fresh strawberries to his turtle or Teri Weigel giving her hamster a bath in the kitchen sink, you can see why the pooches aren't the only lucky ones. Someone told us the film reminded them of a bizarre world version of "Best in Show"; we think it manages to demystify porn stars better than just about any of the other recent behind-the-scenes documentaries we've seen managed to do, while reminding us that all pet owners (regardless of whether or not they have sex on camera for a living) can be really, really weird sometimes.

"Pornstar Pets" - The Movie (film site and DVD info @ pornstarpetsthemovie.com)

Previously: Dog Toy or Marital Aid?, Butter Dog Smut, Puppygirl Kennel