. . .

· Not Bewitched XXX Trailer 2 (YouTube)
· Official Site (notbewitchedxxx.com)

In fact, "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" doesn’t pull any punches anywhere. The video shows just enough wrinkles, stretch marks, and imperfectly proportioned rack jobs to make us believe we're watching insatiable cougar types in action—and we mean all of that in the best possible way. After all, you wouldn't want to buy or rent a title like this and see Veronica Rayne looking like a dewy-fresh barely legal ingenue, would you? No, you would not: you want to see her handling two studs at once as only a mature woman of experience can. And she does.

"Dirty Rotten Motherfuckers 2" also stars Brittany O’Connell, Holly Halston, Julia Ann, Monique, Jada Fire, Diamond Jackson, and Raquel Devine.

• "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" (DVD info + more previews @ julesjordanvideo.com)

jessica drake is Zoe as today's Wicked Girl on a mission in "Kissing Girls," in which the long-leggedy pornstress lets us know (in standard-issue voiceover form) that this will be her year to climb the corporate ladder, make the world a better place, and find her soulmate. (As this line cuts to her trysting with Eric Masterson, we can assume that he is not it, else the movie would be very short.)

"He understood my passions and dealt with my neuroses," she says of him. But when he tells her to hurry because his wife will be home soon, she knows it isn't to be. We know that the movie will be about dipping her toe in the world of women.

Like Hustler is hitting a groove with (or at least spending a lot of time on) its "parody" movies, Wicked is co-opting mainstream successes and making them a little more porny. "Kissing Girls" is, obviously, Wicked's "Kissing Jessica Stein."

Frustrated with men, Zoe answers a personal ad. From a girl. At first she is hesitant, but when a montage sequence reveals that alll men are crazy, she reconsiders."Besides," she says, "aren't all women lesbians these days? Bisexual? Swingers? Isn't that all the rage?"

All the rage in Hell, maybe.

Anyway, drake bites the bullet and meets Moonbeam (Dana DeArmond), and they hit it off on Wicked's muted pastel restaurant set. And they have so much in common! They're both Scorpios, they like to drive, and neither likes labels! But they do like labia.

Moonbeam tells Zoe about first finding a woman attractive, when she caught her babysitter (Scarlett Fay) having sex with her 40-year-old boyfriend. Luckily, we don't see 12-year-old Moonbeam peaking around the curtains. We're also proud of ourselves that we guessed how another sex scene would be shoehorned in before Zoe and Moonbeam's inevitable coupling.

drake and DeArmond at first seem an unlikely porn pair, but DeArmond handles the transition from gaping and choking to couples'-friendly lesbo scene with aplomb, and even inspires the best ad-lib of the movie when drake says, "If I had a cock you'd be in trouble."

I've said it before and I say it again: it's great jessica drake does not have a cock.

- Review by Gram Ponante

Kissing Girls
Studio: Wicked
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: jessica drake, Dana DeArmond, Scarlett Fay, Randy Spears, Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson, Barry Scott, August

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Kissing Girls" (gamelink.com)

Given the fact that most alt performers, directors, and fans look for the new and unusual in their product, we're wondering whether Hustler was trying to alienate their target audience by rereleasing a bunch of clips that most alt fans—and especially we here at Fleshbot—were already pretty familiar with. (Or maybe serious alt fans were never the target audience for this comp to begin with?) Still, upon closer examination the DVD proves to serve up an interesting slice of porn history-in-the-making for those who might have ignored or overlooked it the first time around. So maybe it's unfair to dismiss it outright, even if it’s just a crass attempt on Hustler's part to cash in on something some would argue they never really understood from day one.

"Alt Chicks Fuck Better" features several moments from the altporn movement just as it was starting to take on the porn mainstream, and as such it samples from such seminal works as Eon McKai's "Art School Sluts" and the three volumes of his "Kill Girl Kill" series and maverick director Joe Gallant's "Avenue X". Among the several scenes you'll find a younger Rob Rotten carnally indoctrinating Yumi before going on to take on an anti-alt stance with his Punx Productions, and a fresh-faced Kimberly Kane when she was just an insatiable sex goddess and not yet one of our favorite directors (and insatiable sex goddess).

So really, all that’s missing to make this more of a documentary are interviews and consent. No matter what your personal take on altporn is, "Alt Chicks Fuck Better" is worthwhile as an abbreviated primer of a pornographic revolution that may best be remembered for having been co-opted by what it was originally intended to destroy. Then again, part of us thinks that you should already own most of the films it samples already, and why would you need to add another disk to your collection? Either way, take a look at our preview gallery below and experience the magic of those heady alt years all over again ... for the first time.

• Hustler DVD (hustlerdvd.com)

Along with fellow riding enthusiasts Shawna Lenee and Jandi Lin, Gabriella takes on some of porn's A-list dogs in "Sexy Hot" ... and gallops straight into our hearts in the process. (Sorry, but when we find a metaphor we like we stick with it.)

Digital Playground seems to be releasing "Sexy Hot" features for all of its contract girls at quite a clip, so we're wondering who's going to get the royal treatment next. (We're looking at you, Riley Steele.) In the meantime, though, enjoy Gabriella's ride in the saddle with our exclusive preview gallery below.

• "Gabriella Fox Sexy Hot" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Gabriella Fox Sexy Hot" (Adult DVD Empire)

The internal pop shot is closely related to the creampie, bearing roughly the same relationship to it as do pupae to full-grown butterflies, and it is internal pop shots and their resultant creampies that are the focus of "All Internal 8"—as if you couldn't tell that already from the title. It stars a bevy of creampie-extruding cuties including Carla Cox, Madison Parker, Angelina Crow, Silvia Diamond, Stella Baby, Jenny Noel, and Jenna Jan, none of whom may be household names yet but all of whom will gain a certain notoriety from appearing in this no doubt soon-to-be-classic title. Think of what the first season of "The Facts of Life" did for Molly Ringwald and take it from there.

For all of you out there who have ever wondered about how creampies are created or the effects of gravity upon certain body fluids—or who are just dirty perverts (our favorite kind!)—this DVD, and this preview gallery, is for you.

• "All Internal #8" (DVD info @ julesjordanvideo.com/)

Thankfully, Nina Hartley is here to offer her assistance, in the form of "Nina Hartley's Guide To Bondage Sex." With the help of bondage model and expert Claire Adams, Nina walks bondage beginners through all the basics of getting down and dirty while bound ... and throws in some super hot sex scenes by way of illustration.

Depending on your expectations, your enjoyment of the film may vary. For one thing, this is definitely some education with a side of porn and not the other way around: the film goes a full half hour without anyone getting naked, and the sex scenes themselves are heavily laced with instruction and tips.

Additionally, the film focuses on women tying up women and men tying up women, without a single bound man in sight. Yes, there are elements of bondage that are universal, and the film offers helpful insights for anyone looking to get bound and gagged. But if you're hoping for, say, some serious cock and ball torture action, this isn't the flick for you.

Nerds that we are, we still enjoyed learning the ins and outs of bondage sex—like what positions are best, how to tie a good knot, and all the fun little bondage gadgets. But we'd still recommend viewing this video when you're in a learning mood, not a fapping mood. You're bound to get something good out of watching the video, but it just might not be until after you've watched it, when you're putting Nina's lessons to good use.

• "Nina Hartley's Guide To Bondage Sex" (adameve.com)
• Order: "Nina Hartley's Guide To Bondage Sex" (Adult DVD Empire)

Yes, we are writing about "Members Only 6" because the performer Eleanor looks surprisingly like a blonde Karen Black and, apropos of Ms. Black's performance in "Capricorn One," we are equating the faked moon landing therein with the cocklessness of a movie boasting only members. There.

The above insert of Black, by the way, is from the 1982 film "Miss Right."

· Buy "Members Only 6" (vivthomas.com)

That our crack Photoshop team had to graft a baseball onto someone's peen will probably give you an idea of how much baseball is in this movie.

The Bad News Bitches must thwart the machinations of the thwarted rival of episodes 1 and 2 by any means necessary. As you can imagine, not much baseball is played throughout the movie, and there are no Belladonna-style scenes of unconventional bat placement, but older porn fans might appreciate this movie's similarity to the plot-heavy, good v. evil porn flicks of yore, just with more implants and less hair.

Admirable attention to detail includes "Bad News Bitches" t-shirts as well as location filming at an actual baseball diamond and aerial shots of Dodger Stadium.

· Pink Kitty Video (xxxjuicy.com)
· Buy "Bad News Bitches 3" (gamelink.com)

Volume 4 of the perennially popular legal teen series stars Madison Scott along with one-name wonders Kacey, Adriana, Kimmy, and Ruby, and we can say with definite authority that if you like 'em young and nubile you'll definitely like this one. In fact, there are so many amazing shots of hardcore goodness that the movie becomes even more of a sensory overload than "They Live". Which is saying a lot.

"Bubble Gum Cuties #4" hits the shelves this month.

• "Bubble Gum Cuties #4" (DVD info @ adameve.com)

In this latest "trick" from director Robby D., it appears that evil ninja Tommy Gunn has created a sneaky website that will make men want to hump baked goods and lotion bottles (and has also made Robby shoot the ensuing brouhaha in 1970’s inspired sex-o-matic-vision). When Shay Jordan learns that she will no longer be able to ride hard cock because of this, she can barely stutter out her protest before sending her angels out to save the day and defeat her evil, oily-muscled nemesis.

It's clear that these women will stop at nothing to keep the world safe for boner-loving babes everywhere ... and we mean nothing! (In porn terms, that means ... well, you probably already know what it means. But peep our exclusive preview gallery below just to be sure.)

• "Naked Aces 5" Preview Gallery
• "Naked Aces 5" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
• "Naked Aces 5" (Adult DVD Empire)

This DVD is in our possession and we promise to document all the wild goings on therein. We will figure out what the deal is with the dude on the right and see why ur covergirl looks eerily like Tera Patrick on the back cover.

· Cine X Latino (cinexlatino.com)
· Watch "Out Of Control Travestis 2" (adultemart.com)

In this, volume 85 of the venerable series, starlets you've never heard of like Andrea Anderson, Brittany Angel, Missy Graham, Natalie Norton, and Rikki Love join the healthy, all-American tradition of sexually curious debutantes which stretches all the way back to Bunny Luv and Alysin Chains from Volume One. (Ah yes, some of us remember that volume well.) Directrix Erica McClaine continues to helm the series with a capable hand and in the same style as her late husband, the venerable and affable Clive McClaine; she even lists on the front of each box that her movies are directed “in his spirit.”

But no matter who is directing these things, whether it be Erica or her husband via medium, the outcome is the same: smoking hot, authentic, and (best of all!) 100% legal teens making their sometimes awkward debut into the very same business that made Jenna Jameson a squillionaire. And that's something even wizened, jaded old porn fans like us can never get tired of.

• "Barely Legal #85" (hustlervideo.com)

In such a climate was born Mike John's "No Cum Dodging Allowed" series for Jules Jordan Video, and it quickly became one of the go-to titles for facial fans. In this, the ninth installment, the resolute Tatiana Kush, Velicity Von, Adrianna Nicole, Dana DeArmond, and Allie Foster get covered in goo so often and with such enthusiasm that you'd think that Nickelodeon was somehow involved in its production.

• "No Cum Dodging Allowed 9" (julesjordanvideo.com)

Scene One features a tuxedoed Ireland playing Master and Servant with Roxy DeVille. At one point Ireland must retrieve something the loss of which can't be explained by gravity.

Only Ireland's penciled-on John Waters moustache distracts from the scene. So I just closed my eyes and thought of Baltimore.

The beauty of this movie is that, even if you feel you would be turned away had you showed up with your testosterone and Manifest Destiny, you would still have the consolation that the women were doing to each other everything you would have. It is as if you wrote your suggestions on little notecards and they were duly considered.

Trinity Post and Amber Rayne leave Kissy Kapri in the dust in the bendy department, and the latter takes her revenge by slapping the hell out of Rayne, who doesn't seem to mind.

Eva Angelina is like Ireland's South of the Border younger sister. I have the impression Ireland didn't have to direct her much in her scene with Sammi Rhodes.

Cruel Aiden Starr opines in the final scene, as a box of toys arrives:

"You know sometimes if their cock is too small you gotta put a butt plug in your ass to feel it?" she asks Jandi Lin and Tricia Oaks.

... and that is the only thing that made me sad. Next time I see a butt plug I won't think, "Ooh: a butt plug." Instead, I'll think, "Someone's parts are small."

· Adam And Eve (adameve.com)
· Kylie Ireland (kylieireland.com)
· Buy "Bitch And Moan 2" (gamelink.com)

· Devils Film (devilsfilm.com)
· Buy "My First Black Cock 7" (gamelink.com)

. . .

"Some say the path we take is guided by Fate or unseen forces," intones Lei in the voiceover, which is immediately reminiscent of the sort of stylish, formulaic, safe, and Skinemax -ready porn Wicked produces so well, or at least so frequently.

How does one become a hooker accidentally? Well, if you looked like Kaylani Lei and you were walking down Hollywood Boulevard dressed to enhance all your Kaylani Leitude whilst absently sucking your soft drink from a straw, it would be within reason for the common passerby to at least hope you were a hooker.

And the passerby would be right, because hooker Lei is en route to an interview about how she became a hooker accidentally. Turns out she met a dude, Marcus (Armstrong), online who wasted no time sampling the goods once they finally met.

"He didn't seem to be an axe murderer or anything," Lei recalled. Waking up alone, Lei was surprised to find $500 by her bedside.

Was she a hooker? Who knows. Marcus invites her to L.A. and at the airport she is greeted by a limousine containing not Marcus but instead a man named Deep Threat.

"Little did I know that it would change my life - " says Lei in the voiceover.

(wait for it)

" - forever."

"I realized I crossed a line," she says.

(wait for it)

" - that could never be uncrossed."

Also:

"I had changed - "

(wait for it)

" - and this was only the beginning."

Lei begins a crazy joyride of sex for money, immersing herself in "the life," in which intimacy, commerce, and hedonism coexist in an uneasy colloidal stew - forever. She fucks other women, rich swains at the opera, guys at the car wash, couples, anything that pays.

Wicked cannot solve this problem, but in the scene with Shyla Stylez and Tommy Gunn as the couple Lei beds, the movie falls victim to something that happens in porn all the time: Stylez looks more like a hooker than the person playing a hooker. It's like the Monty Python "Bicycle Repair Man" sketch, where everyone is a superhero.

But the highs become fewer and farther between.

"Every once in a while you ask yourself, 'What am I doing?'" Lei tells her interviewer.

"Why don't you just stop?" he asks.

"That's easier said than done," she says, blowing cigarette smoke. "You can't just walk away. It's in your blood. It's what you know. It's what you are. No matter how hard you try, you het sucked right back in. You're in for life. And sometimes? That feels like an eternity."

I hand it to Wicked for yet another unflinching look at the world of high-priced call girls this summer, the other being Latina Hollywood Hookers.

But just when you condemn Wicked for padding the script, you realize that all those (or most of those) sodden sentences work up to a twist ending like that Tom Cruise Isn't Gay Enough movie.

Like M. Night Shyamalan projects, the twist endings over the years have yielded diminished returns since The Sixth Sense. But this is porn, so we've got at least ten more years of them. So I'll leave it to you to decide if the twist redeems the movie.

Review by: Gram Ponante

. . .

The Accidental Hooker

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Kaylani Lei, Shyla Stylez, Victoria Sin, Mikayla, Devon Lee, Jennifer Dark, Brad Armstrong, Tommy Gunn, Deep Threat, Niko, Barrett Blade, Derrick Pierce, Marcus London

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "The Accidental Hooker" (gamelink.com)

Then again, do people really pay much attention to porn titles except to make fun of them like we do? After all, the main thing you need to know about the movie is that it stars a bevy of porn beauties of more than ample proportions, including Jordan Star, Carolyn Reese, Laylah Diamond, Riley Evans, and the lovely Monica Foster in addition to aforementioned Fleshbot Crush Object™ Gianna. And in that regard, the title is perfect at least in that it contains the word "breast" in it.

So maybe Everhard was right after all. We'll just stick to writing for you from now on.

• "Breast Meat" (DVD info + more pics @ julesjordanvideo.com)

"Moan where it hurts," suggests Rose to Marco Banderas, grunting in an Iberian delirium. Pinpointing the source of distress, she proceeds to soothe the fuck out of it.

In fact Banderas, who just moments before had been an incoherent and immobile mess, soon regains his strength enough to pay off his hospital fees - with his parts!

"You must be feeling a whole lot better," Rose notes at the end.

"Oh yeah," Banderas says, having learned English in his recovery.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Buy "Hello Nurse" (gamelink.com)

Except ... well, we really don't have that much more about to say about "It's Huge 15". If the title doesn't tell you what you can expect, you might as well go back to your grandad's stash of Playboys and start your porn education all over again. We can tell you that it stars Nikki Hilton (no relation to Paris—or to Nicky, for that matter) along with Tabitha James, Carmen Minor, Katrina Angel, and that rascally diva Bailey Brookes, all of whom spend their onscreen time in "It's Huge 15" (and, we presume, a good long time after filming was completed) dealing with the mutant giant-baby's-arm-holding-an-apple monstrosities that are Ramon and Shane Diesel's appendages.

And really, that's about it. Well, that and the fact that Tabitha James wears glasses which she keeps on during her scene, thus giving you an extra fetish bang for your buck if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, and that foot long submarine sandwiches have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the action.

So here are the pics. Just remember to keep breathing and relax. It'll stop hurting before you know it.

• "It's Huge 15" Trailer (.wmv video @ newsensations.com)
• VengeanceXXX (vengeancexxxdvd.com)

After all this time, it would be reasonable to expect that the movie would not follow through on the premise suggested by its title and cover, but Fontana demands the recruits show him IDs ("Don't give me your real names! Give me the names your agents gave you!") and when they drop to give him 20, it is with a dildo.

The movie ended up being a mini-"Gilligan's Island XXX" prequel, as Fontana, Hanah, and Dick Nasty each appear. Earlier, a performer named Miss Kitty was hounded off the set for refusing to service the 53-year-old Nasty. Hanah, the professional, showed the almost-half-her-age recruits how it was done. "Always make sure your hand is wet," she said.

The girls are led through blowjob drills, taught how to pose for still cameras, given pointers on "facial preparation," and told that "there are men and women dying for that flag in order for you to work in pornos." (The latter seems like a generational thing - when performers who remember when porn was illegal are paired with performers who don't, the result can be awkward.)

The movie sticks to its premise all the way through, and as such is often at odds with standard porn formula. This isn't a bad thing, though; it just throws off the pacing if you are, for instance, a chronic masturbator.

· Hustler (hustlerworld.com)
· Buy "Barely Legal Boot Camp" (gamelink.com)

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can turn our attention to the distinguished Mr. D's latest installment of his "Control" series. This one stars Gabriella Fox, who is looking suitably authoritative on the cover, along with Eva Angelina, Lacey Maguire, Memphis Monroe, and Kelly Divine. Once again, the movie explores the theme of sex as an exchange of power between two individuals. Camille Paglia types have seen fit to expound upon said theme via reams of deathless academic prose; we here at Fleshbot merely prefer to jerk off to it.

"Control 9" hits the shelves this week.

• "Control 9" (DVD info + preview @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Control 9" (Adult DVD EMpire)

But what's in a name anyway? After all, "teen" is just porn shorthand for “girls who look young, even if they really happen to be old enough to drink" just as "MILF" means “women who look like they've been old enough to drink for a while." And the truth is that most older women who would have been called MILFs back in the olden days now prefer to be called "cougars", thereby drawing attention away from the fact that they are someone’s mother and are instead someone’s ex—preferably someone with a fat bank account who's paying enough alimony to lure in those hot young bucks.

That’s why it’s refreshing to see that director Anton Slayer has assembled a cast of real MILF-type women for his latest Loaded Digital release "MILF Club", thereby returning the term to its original vintage meaning. In fact, some of the footage even looks vintage—unless Slayer began shooting the movie when he was ten, or hired a stylist to plaster the walls of his set with posters of a pre-rehab Danny Bonaduce and "Magnum P.I.".

These aren’t your newfangled Teagan Presley- or Britney Skye-style MILFs, not by a long shot: the women in this MILF Club really do look like they need some special "mommy time" after a hard afternoon of baking cupcakes and driving the kids to soccer practice and going to PTA meetings. In fact, they are so real-looking that with the exception of Nicole Sheridan and coverMILF Krystal Summers, we don't even recognize most of their names. Which is a good thing—wouldn't you rather spank it to ladies who really look like MILFs instead of pornstars who merely play them on TV?

• "MILF Club" (DVD info @ metrointeractive.com)

We were happy to see that the title was not "Fuck My Mommy and Me," but we wish producers had respected us enough to choose some other prop than a goddamn lollipop to denote youth. Couldn't she be texting, or filling out college applications, or working at McDonald's? If you succeed like last week's winner I.M.B.Y., you will have given us the new porn youth totem that will replace pigtails, lollipops, and plaid skirts. Hop to it! Your nation needs you. And so does Mommy.

· Lethal Hardcore (lethalhardcore.com)
· Buy "Fuck My Mom And Me 4" (gamelink.com)

While we'd love to say that the folks at Vengeance XXX drew upon this illustrious creative lineage in producing "Beauties and the Beast 2". the fact is that this is not so much a sequel as a full-blown reimagining of the source material. To say the (very) least.

In fact, they don't even pretend that there's a story here: "Beauties and the Beast 2" merely cribs a famous title and goes straight to the meat of the matter by pitting Boz’s monstrous unit against the likes of hapless beauties Bella Ling, Alyssa Dior, Lana Violet, Britney Stevens, and Carmella Santiago. Who needs all that tedious expository dialogue anyway?

Nevertheless, "Beauties and the Beast 2" still functions as a sort of porn fairy tale by showing us that monsters really do exist ... and there really are beauties out there capable of taming them. In fact, everyone winds up with a happy ending after all—happy and sore, that is. But still happy!

• "Beauties and the Beast 2" (.wmv trailer @ newsensations.com)
• Vengeance XXX (vengeancexxx.com)
• Photos courtesy Digital Sin/New Sensations (newsensations.com)

While we're generally not fans of the word "slut" here at Fleshbot Central, we will say that Ferrara's definition of the term does bring it to new levels of decadence and refinement in his "Slutty & Sluttier" series, the seventh installment of which stars Lucy Belle, Valentina Blue, Milka Manson, Jasmine Black, and Artemis Gold along with a fond look back at Mia Rose, Aurora Snow, and Sandra Romain.

In "Slutty & Sluttier 7", gammy beauty Lucy Belle joins Ferrara and a friend at a coffee shop for some public pussy teasing and exhibitionism before being spirited away to a private residence and treated to some world-class ass fucking. Later, pale and raven-tressed Milka experiments with a lollipop in a yeast-defying act of rebellion on a public train. Then Jasmine Black takes on two men at once before the copper coiffed Valentina Blue gets her turn to ski slalom; all are awarded the appropriately for their exertions. But despite watching this several times, we stillc an't tell who's "sluttier" and who is merely "slutty". Maybe they use those terms differently Over There.

The 2-disc set also features bonus scenes from the original "Slutty & Sluttier" including Aurora Snow and Sandra Romain taking on an ample helping of bifteck, along with Mia Rose's epic original anal ravaging from Manuel. It drops this week, but you can sneak an exclusive preview here if you’ve got an open mind for foreign culture and like to try new things.

• "Slutty & Sluttier 7" (evilangel.com)

Femmes fatales outnumber lipstick lesbians in this movie featuring strap-on action and andro girls (who look like a Smiths-era Morrissey and made this writer confused) as well as, according to the cover, "real orgasms." I can never tell. Me, I take what I can get and appreciate any extra effort.

But in terms of a travelogue, the excellent soundtrack and appealing, occasional outside filming make Paris look like it is crawling with predatory lesbians ... with not one shot of the phallic Eiffel Tower in sight.

· Hysterie Productions (hysterieprod.com)
· Buy "One Night Stand" (fatalemedia.com)

Keener minds than ours may choose to watch the film with a more critical eye attunded to its potential antifeminist nuances. Then again, with Kristin's coevals Ann Marie Rios, Nicole Sheridan, and Samantha Sin rounding out the cast and sex this hot—not to mention the sight of Randy Spears in the most ridiculous looking fright wig we have ever seen—we’re not entirely sure anyone will be paying much attention to the finer points of story line anyway.

• "Wedding Bell Blues" (DVD info @ wickedpictures.com)

No matter, though: maybe that title was left deliberately generic so as you wouldn't be distracted from the sight of Jesse getting drilled harder than a stretch of Alaskan coastline. After all, it's been a long road for the former army brat who worked her way up the porn ladder to become one of the adult industry's biggest stars, and she deserves all the attention for her hard work that she can get. And to think that it all started for Jesse with serving hot wings at Hooters! Mmm, hot wings. (Somehow, though, we don’t think that's what inspired the title.)

Photos courtesy Digital Playground

• "Jesse Jane: Sexy Hot" (DVD info and trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Jesse Jane: Sexy Hot" (Adult DVD Empire)

Watch Bobbi Starr juggling large black balls while balancing between two giant rods! Thrill to the sight of Emilianna and Carolyn Reese performing death-defying feats of cunnilingus! Marvel as Ricki White and Rucca Page make one man’s meat completely disappear within their fleshy confines—and you won't believe how Velicity Von and her sexy assistant Lexi Love manage to charm Sean Michaels' raging python into submission!

Of course, you won't see Ashley Blue pulling a string of large anal beads from her nether reigons before getting tongue fucked by Melissa Lauren in any big top we know of. After all, this ain't your usual greatest show on earth.

• "Anal Beach Buns" (DVD info @ evilangel.com)

Oh, right, that new Wicked movie: this "Reform School Girls" sees director Mark Stone returning to helm the fourth and most magical installment of the series yet, in which tender young miscreants including Aiden Starr, Kelly Skyline, Aubrey Addams, Cara Dee, Dana DeArmond, Mackenzee Pierce, Sindee Jennings and newcomer Faye Reagan get exactly the kinds of lessons they deserve.

Problem is, these girls never seem to learn their lesson: in fact, it takes more than a few spankings and stern discipline to shape these troubled teens into a state of docility. Luckily their instructors are dedicated and passionate educators who never give up on their students—if only we had teachers like that, we might not have wound up working in the world of vice ourselves. Then again, if we hadn't you might not be sitting here looking at Faye Reagan getting fucked in a plaid skirt, and then where would we all be?

• "Reform School Girls 4" (DVD info @ wickedpictures.com)

What's that? There was a baseball game on too? Well, how about that?

·Bad Seed's Anal All Stars, Volume 2 (adameve.com)

The NRPW also stages live events —with all the sweat but none of the penetration—for the public.

· New Porn Order (newpornorder.com)

Tyler Scott directs the fifth installment of the soon-to-be-classic (if it isn't already) "Ashlynn & Friends" series starring New Sensations contract girl Ashlynn Brookes along with her helpmeets Nikki Kane, Halia Hill, Ellie Idol, and Estrella Flores. See why we hope Ashlynn (and her friends) stick around for a while after the jump.

. . .

If nothing else the series serves as a vehicle to keep the frisky blonde socially active so she can find hot new friends to fill her next DVD with. Whether she's on the prowl at the local mall luring in morally uninhibited barely legal teens at the nail salon with small talk over a mani-pedi, or letting said small talk lead to wild lust monkey sex with total strangers in a curiously consequence-free environment, Ashlynn is going places ... and making friends for life! (And having a porn stud like Ramon drill your sweet, nectar-filled flower until the juice literally runs down your leg? You can’t buy memories like that!)

• Digital Sin/New Sensations (newsensations.com)
• Order: "Ashlynn & Friends #5" (Adult DVD Empire)

The concept of having a larger-than-life drag queen direct a Sapphic porn spectacular isn't as farfetched as it may sound; after all, there isn’t a single girl in the cast who couldn’t learn a thing or two from Chi Chi about applying waterproof mascara or keeping lipstick off their teeth and still looking fabulous. And with the lack of male partners—and hence no need for condoms—there's nothing to get anyone's panties in a twist over!

"Where The Boys Aren't 19" (subtitled "Arabian Nights") stars Tera Patrick in all her glory as the Lady in the Lamp, who gets rubbed by costars including Briana Banks, Monique Alexander, Lexi Marie, Tawny Roberts, Mercedez, Lyndsey and Lacey Love, Lanny Barby, award-winning vintner Savanna Samson, and the amazing disappearing Stefani Morgan. And if that lineup isn't enough to make you wish you were there (whether you're a boy or not), maybe the exclusive preview gallery Vivid was nice enough to share with us will.

"Where The Boys Aren't 19" will be released later this month.

• Vivid (vividvideo.com)
• Order: "Where The Boys Aren't 19" (Adult DVD Empire)

What you must needs do to win this week's contest in as spectacular a fashion as last time's winner slyty did is to tell us what you would say to ripe Bree Olson to lure her into your experienced Sapphic boudoir. Not that she looks like she needs much convincing.

· Girlfriends Films (girlfriendsfilms.com)
· Buy "Lesbian Seductions 15: Older/Younger" (gamelink.com)

So what does all this have to do with her latest release (sorry, "cut") for Digital Playground, "Katsuni Minx"? Well, nothing really—but since we know you depend on us to tell you all about the secret lives of otherwise unheralded porn directors, we figured we'd share a something a little insidery with you by way of introduction. That said, we also know that when we receive a new release from the porn star-turned-director it will showcase not only a bunch of smoldering hot models but that it will be presented with an attention to detail that is another one of Celeste's trademarks. And "Katsuni Minx" certainly lives up to those expectations.

In addition to sex goddess Katsuni, "Katsuni Minx" also stars Maya Gates, Brandi Edwards, Paola Rey, Micah Moore, and pint-sized fan favorite Alexis Love. The sets are as lovely as the girls—not that you'll be likely to be paying much attention to the sets, but still—and the sex is every bit as hot as it looks in these preview shots the good folks at Digital Playground shared with us. Sometimes, it's good to have an auteur around the house. Even if they are wearing tissue boxes on their feet.

• "Katsuni Minx" (DVD info and trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Katsuni Minx" (Adult DVD Empire)