Surely someone had to have come up with this name before. But its current owner, featured in a movie called "Aussie Fuckfest: Gold Coast," was the subject of one of those vaguely sorrowful "Look at what's become of us!" stories in an Australian publication last year during the movie's filming. We take a look at the disconnect between porn and its coverage after the gap.

Our good friend Jack returns today with director Robby D's latest release for Digital Playground, in which we as an audience are required to exercise our creative visualization skills and imagine that his wood is our wood (or even, in the case of those female members of the audience as well as anyone afflicted with chronic impotence, that we even have wood to begin with.) If you’re anything like us, the effort will be well worth it: you’re going to love the view.

"Slutty fuck toys give in to their dripping wet desires and take a deep dicking that is nothing short of spectacular. Cock crazed cuties get a pussy pounding that leaves their steamy slits red and raw," reads the Grammy-winning liner notes of "Mommy, Granny & Me"—which tells us nothing about the three generations of compounded shame within. Hence this haiku:

For nine Thanksgivings
Granny just basted herself
It's why Grandpa died.

More versification after the jump.

"That's what my boobs look like on camera?" asks the delicious and volatile Penny Flame in the pleasantly disquieting "I Film Myself 7." "Holy crap." For a movie that makes the performer the cameraman and the scene partner the viewer, you'd expect the resulting effect to be more claustrophobic than it is, and the production value (yes, it still matters) to be awful. Yet these scenes makes us feel like we're fighting in some dusty place and our hot girlfriends just sent us a movie.

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Penal Reform Edition

We know. "We're evolved enough as porn consumers to not expect a literal interpretation of the title on the boxcover, hence why these harlots are outside and not actually in detention," you might say. But that wasn't the point we were going to make. Instead, dazzle us like last week's winner did and come up with a Motown girl group name for the flashing harlots on the bench.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Buy "Young Harlots - In Detention" (gamelink.com)

By now you know that as soon as someone appears in a porn movie, she is immediately a "porn star". So it's easy to believe that a compilation series like Pink Visual's "Before They Were Stars" to be much different from anything else. But with minimal makeup, overhead lighting, and a low budget, people like Daisy Marie, Sammie Rhodes, and Leah Luv really do appear hesitant and unsure, as opposed to the studied porn practitioners they would eventually become after three or four more scenes.

The hard working Eric Everhard sure does seem to keep himself busy with all those fresh-faced porn starlets he manages to cast in every one of his many releases—and while lesser souls than us would be jealous of his success, we have absolutely no problem with it. In fact, as long as he keeps sharing preview shots from new DVDs like "Jail Bait 5" with us, we'll continue to wish him all the best in his endeavors. And we won't even complain about the fact that one or two of the girls who star in it look like they're closer to the far side of legal drinking age!

We often think of Hot House as we do some of our well-meaning but clueless relatives: we love them even if they ship their screener DVDs to us in oversized, wasteful packaging that won't even fit through our stretched-out mail hole. And like our Aunt Barbara (as well as a lot of porn companies, to be fair), Hot House also sometimes does things that make little sense to anyone but themselves—for example, the box cover for the soon-to-be-released "Paging Dr. Finger".

It’s been a (very long) while since we heard anything from Jack the Zipper, and while don't know everything the “most dangerous director in porn” has been doing during his absence we can confidently report that his long awaited Vivid debut is now ready for release. (We think? Soon, anyway! Maybe!)

Shot in the California desert in 2006, "King Cobra" pays homage to classic grindhouse flicks; on his (very enthusiastic) MySpace blog, Mr. The Zipper further explains that his project “is a balls out biker orgy” starring authentic Sundowners along with a veritable Fleshbot dream cast including Lanny Barbie, Page Morgan, Sasha Grey, Roxy DeVille, Jade Starr, Chapel Waste, Shannon Kelly, and Lela Star. It's all very grimy, but in a really good way. And if it's even half as good as his "Blacklight Beauty", we might be looking at another arthouse gonzo classic.

"It's part of the underground dungeon scene!" pipes the plummy voiceover of beloved pornstress Veronica Hart of "L.A.'s House of Sex And Domination," where people like Sasha Grey, Michelle Avanti, Kissy Kapri, Flower Tucci, and Audrey Hollander go to be sexed and, er, dominated.

There's something both oldschool Porn and late-nite cable in Hart's introductions (written by Naz and Ashley Blue), such as that of Sasha Grey ("No one has been able to tame her!"). But where a Skinemax movie would then trot out Nikki Fritz and a softcore rubdown would ensue, by the end of this scene Sasha Grey literally has clothespins coming out of her ass—and she's happy about it.

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? It's Not A Tumor Edition

You might as well face it: Rocco Siffredi is—and rightfully so—the world's most popular male porn star. But that does not mean his "Puppet Master" DVD doesn't look terrifying, what with the head of that Robert Palmer video girl growing like an abscess out of that crawly girl. And what does that picture have to do with puppets?

Please rename this porn movie in a fashion that fits with the box photo and you shall be praised on high next week in the same way that last week's winner was: in these five hyperlinked words.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Puppet Master" (gamelink.com)

Kaylani Lei Increases Her Mileage In Wicked's "Carpool"

It's Not A "Whorgasm" If You Do It For Free