. . .

· Brooke Marks Official Site (brookemarks.com, via sexypix.thumblogger.com)
· See also: Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Videos (egotastic.com)

· Jessica and Lauren (Miami ) (afflictedyard.com, via complex.com)

Previously: Mike Dowson Dresses Down, S Magazine: Smut So Good You'll Think It's Art

There are two things in life we can't do with out: porn and top-shelf booze. (Or bottom shelf. We're not that picky, actually.) So when we hear about something like Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival, obviously it's going to get our attention. The yearly festival is a double gathering in both Montreal and Toronto that gives aspiring filmmakers a chance to tackle their favorite subject and (we assume) do a lot of drinking. The festival itself isn't until later this year, but they are currently taking submissions for short films under four minutes length. They movies don't actually have to be porn (though we're sure a little T&A wouldn't hurt), they're just looking for funny or interesting takes on sex that hopefully rise above the unintentional comedy you find on PornoTube every day. So if you've got an idea in your brain and a video camera, start working on that script. You might want to stock up on ice, too—someone had to keep all those drinks cold.

· Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival (rules + entry form @ hardliquorandporn.com)
· Hard Liquor and Porn on MySpace (myspace.com)

Previously: 2007 XFANZ Erotica Film Festival, 2007 Seattle Erotic Art Festival, CineKink Kickoff Party, HUMP! 2: Call for Indie Porn Submissions, Barcelona Erotic Film Festival 2006, Berlin Porn Film Festival

They can't remember a president who wasn't named Clinton or Bush and they liked the Olsen twins before they were legal. Still, these twentysomething whippersnappers know a thing or two, as demonstrated in these excerpts from some of our favorite sex blog posts this week. Whether playing games with blowjobs, going home drunk to screw, or fretting over desires that are decidedly politically incorrect, these children of the eighties show that youth is not wasted on the horny.

Get jiggy with Jefferson after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Jefferson

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Blowjob by Numbers, Part I

Mine is a physique made for summer: halter tops bare my tan shoulders and denim miniskirts reveal every inch of my long, athletic legs. Tonight I'm wearing just such an outfit, with my hair pulled back in a long blonde ponytail and a sugary spritz of Comptoir Sud Pacifique perfume clinging to my skin in the humid weather. As I get out of the car and adjust my top, I feel my nipples harden at the sensation of soft cotton against braless breasts.

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Guilty Fantasies

A few weeks ago now, I asked Sophie what it was that we haven't done together, sexually, that she would like to play with. In some ways there is a lot we haven't explored yet, many things she and I have brought up between us that we have not or have barely began to introduce: knives, rope and bondage, spanking, flogging, fisting, 69, role play, force, sensation.

In response, she brought up force. I have told her that I like some resistance, so she asked: "How much can I resist?"

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The One Who Got Away

He was out of my league . . .

I know people like him don't see people like me. And yet I wanted him.

From the moment our eyes connected, I wanted him.

Even when I found out he had Girlfriend, I wanted him.

And still when I found out he was living with her. I still wanted him.

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Sloppy Drunk Sex

I was introduced to Dan, James friend and I guess you could call my date. Cute, but too much of a pretty boy.

We started drinking when we got there, an hour before the concert started. It was safe to say I was pretty buzzed by the time the opening bands were done. Dan was starting to look better but it was more because I was horny then anything else.

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"They Pay . . . We Play"

I've never been a greedy girl. For that matter, I've never thought much about money. I've never been rich, but also never poor. Money has always been, to me, an ends to a means, never the end all be all. Which may be a good thing or a bad thing. Not sure. I have two distinctly different sets of girlfriends. The "haves", and the "want mores". The haves, date purely for love (okay, and looks). And to that end have sometimes been victim of liars, deceivers, man whores and thieves. The "want mores" date purely for gain. "What can he do for me" is their mantra.They want someone who is bringing something to the table, and by something, I mean a lot of Fuc*ing money.

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Pressure and Sabotage

My Man and I have a significant "anniversary" coming up (as significant as you can get considering we haven't even been together a year yet, so it's not really an "anniversary," lol), and he's starting to try to make plans. He told me that he wants to book a room at a "couples" hotel, which is pretty much geared as a hotel for couples to go to have sex. The rooms have a 24-7 porn channel, hot tubs (built for like ten people, lol), huge showers, mirrors over the bed, and some even have pools. These rooms were built for sex and lots of it.

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Thumbnail via cakeandcock.blogspot.com

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive
 

We know Mardi Gras is like so last week, but if you failed to make it to New Orleans this year, we're here to help you recapture some of the magic. We just received this man-on-the-scene video—shot by intrepid young boobhound Nick McGlynn and edited by Gawker Media video savant Richard Blakeley—that recreates the pageantry and nudity of the Big Easy's greatest holiday. If you've never been trapped on Bourbon Street on Fat Tuesday, this clip is a pretty close approximation of the actual physical experience: crowded, somewhat confusing, and lots of angry shouts for boobies. If you can get someone to throw small beads at your head after you press play, it will be just like you were there!

· Mardi Gras Coverage 2007 (xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Happy Mardi Gras!

· Just because women parade around Rio de Janeiro's Carnaval in the nude that doesn't mean they are interested in sex. Yeah, we don't know what would ever give people that idea. (wluctv6.com)

· Boing Boing looks into the future to imagine the wonder of cybersex ... all the way to the year 2000! (boingboing.net)

· When your football soccer team holds a press conference to explain your teammates' late-night drinking and partying, it's probably not helpful to show up naked. Actually, that probably explains everything right there. (thevoiceofreason.com)

· Author Jane Smiley explains why her new book has so much sex in it: "I did it so I wouldn't have to write about the Bush administration for 450 pages." That was probably a wise choice. (timesunion.com)

· Our friends in the UK should check out this new nude art gallery/microbrew pub. For some reason, the paintings get much better looking the longer you stay. (lancashireeveningtelegraph.co.uk)

· Look behind the scenes of Paris' famous nude dance shows. Ok, you won't be looking so much as you'll be reading behind the scenes, but words can be cool sometimes. (thestar.co.za)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Today is Mardi Gras, which depending on where you live could mean colorful parades, drunken revelry, or just another Tuesday staring at your computer as you try to kill time at work. To us it means boobies—thousands and thousands of boobies. The early returns are just starting to roll in from New Orleans, but Rio de Janeiro's Carnaval is also wrapping up after several weeks of wild festivities and there are plenty of crazy show girl photos to share with you already. While you enjoy these random flashes and feathery ladies, we'll keep throwing our beads at the internets to see what they uncover. Remember, tomorrow you have to go back to being all good and stuff, so do what you can to get it out of your system today. (And be sure to send us the evidence.)

· "Titties of Mardi Gras 2007" (photoset by Subtle Alchemy Photography @ Flickr)
· Carnaval 2007 Galleries: Here, here, here, and here (globo.com + uol.com.br + estadao.com.br - thanks Toni!)
· "Los sensuales carnavales de R o" (20minutos.es, via sexblo.gs)
· New Orleans trades reality for revelry (newsday.com)

· We're flattered that E! News named us a go-to source (along with YouTube, even!) for all your Paris Hilton storage locker needs, but the sad truth is that aside from a few screencaps we had to rely on Google to find everything just like everyone else. (We did, however, use that "Paris Unxposed" line before E! did.) (eonline.com)

· Digital Playground begins the promotional juggernaut for "Pirates 2" with the online release of a teaser trailer that's notable for its complete absence of anything that would inform you it's the sequel to one of the most successful porn films of all time. If you get off on CGI thunder effects and pirate skeletons, however, you might still find something to jerk off to anyway. (digitalplayground.com; more @ AVN)

· Having a third nipple can be awkward, but a third nipple on the bottom of your foot? Sounds like a podophiliac's dream date—and look, Ma, no plastic! (dermatology.cdlib.org, via wfmu.org)

· The government goes after MySpace and Friendster ... again. Pretty soon all their only users will be government agents pretending to be teenagers. (xbiz.com)

· Drink enough vodka and the babes will come to you ... in your mind at least. We can see them already! (YouTube via shedwa.blogspot.com via adrants.com)

· A spammer targeted email marketer will pay a $465,000 fine to the Federal Trade Commission for not playing nicely on the web. Those pills they sent us didn't work, either. (ftc.gov)

· Why did Kelly Ripa cut this guy off? We're sure Regis really wanted to learn what "teabagging" is. (video @ Defamer)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Trying to come up with our own lists of the top sex memes and sex stories of 2006 this week was making our head spin; good thing the lovely Violet Blue put her nose (and other parts) to the grindstone and recorded them for the ages. We'd hate to forget about all those celebrity upskirt shots in our old age. (As if.) (boingboing.net + sfgate.com)

· A few things for you and your body to consider when it comes to alcohol and sex this New Year's Eve. Be careful; those "transient genital feelings" will get you every time. (sexuality.about.com)

· The Christmas miracles continue as yet another "new" electronic device comes fully equipped with porn. So how does Santa download all those movies in one night? (nbc10.com)

· Marisa Miller sneaks in one last bikini photo shoot before the calendar turns over. That way she can claim it on this year's tax return. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Here's an interesting look at the differences in sex laws around the world. Just a tip: if you like having sex in a freezer, you should probably stay out of Newcastle, Wyoming. (10zenmonkeys.com)

· Protesters try to storm the indecency trial of Playboy Indonesia's editor, which has been closed to the public. Do you want to see everything or do you not want to see everything? Make up your minds, people! (chicagotribune.com)

· This just in: Dita Von Teese likes taking her clothes off. Wow ... this really is the slowest news week of the year. (lse.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· It looks like Denver has enough snow for all of us right now, but if you're looking at a green Christmas this year, Zoo Weekly has some snow bunnies to cheer you up. It is the most wonderful time of the year. (zooweekly.co.uk)

· Unless you're trying to get laid, that is. Holiday revelers admit that that they have less sex than normal, because they're too drunk to fuck. Could it be possible that alcohol doesn't solve all our problems? (manchestereveningnews.co.uk)

· Need a last minute gift for the BDSM fan in your life? How about bondage tape? For those who like to be tied up, but are so weak they can be restrained by a piece of paper. (salvorkiosk.com)

· Geez, try to hang one little nude painting in a college cafeteria and everyone raises a big stink. As if you couldn't see worse things in the lobby of any dorm on a Saturday night. (startribune.com)

· When Richard Carr opened his restaurant he promised there would no be no topless dancing, despite having a license to offer it. Yeah, he lied, but it's hard to argue with his reasoning: "That's what society wants and that's what society gets." Sounds good to us. (thisisdorset.net)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

If you're wondering why we hadn't posted about the Miss USA sex, drugs, and partying "scandal," it's mostly because we didn't believe it. The Miss USA we know wouldn't behave that way and we don't like it when news organizations besmirch the good name of a woman who represents our entire country without proper photographic evidence. Like, say ... these snaps of the current Miss Nevada out on the town. Katie Rees, the girl-kissing, nipple-flashing, thong-barring pageant contestant you see here, was kind enough to let spectators photograph her antics (and let at least one kindly stranger tongue her breast), which makes it a little harder for us—and Donald Trump, we assume—to look the other way. The lesson as always: Before you accuse someone of wrongdoing be sure you have proof. Oh, and when it comes to drunken debauchery Nevada is still the champ. (Bonus photos after the jump, and if you happen to see the uncensored versions, let us know.)

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· Miss USA rocked by sexy new scandal (canada.com)

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Previously: (Former) Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd in Playboy, Meet Tatana Kucharova

Today is Repeal Day in the United States—the day on which the 21st Amendment was ratified, ending Prohibition and securing forever our Constitutional right to get absolutely shitfaced. Too bad then that no one we know really celebrates it here; there is, however, a recent movement (at least by alcohol companies) to make it an official national holiday and when we think of all the things we wouldn't have today if alcohol was still illegal in this country, we understand why. No beer commercials! No New Year's Eve parties worth going to! No babes flashing their tits and making out with each other during Mardi Gras! No St. Patrick's Day! No painfully awkward drunken office holiday party hookups! No Lindsay Lohan! Fortunately, our elbow-raising civil liberties are safe for the time being and so on this Repeal Day we honor those whose inebriated antics provide us with so much hilariously horny entertainment. Pour yourself a long cool one and enjoy the inebriated antics after the jump.

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· "When Mary Jane got drunk" (attuworld.com)
· Drunk party girls, Wild party girls, Copenhagen party girls + Mardi Gras girls (phun.org)

· Random hot girls getting drunk in a bar (hornyoyster.com)
· Drunk Nude Girls (TGP galleries @ drunknudegirls.com)

· Drunk Sex Orgy (paysite preview @ drunksexorgy.com)
· Drunk On Cam (drunkoncam.com)

From the Fleshbot archives:

· Lady Liplocks on YouTube
· Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really
· Tours Gone Wild
· "Cocktail" Magazine Covers

· LastNightsParty: The Book
· Drunk University
· Dirty Wine Labels
· (Save The) Mardi Gras Babes

The title says it all ...

· Titties & Beer (xTube)

And, finally, a more sober look at that the future that wasn't:

· I love Scotch (YouTube - thanks C.)
 

· Could pornstar Kendra Jade actually be involved in the Britney/K-Fed saga? If only Brit had been more willing to show her crotch to the public before the divorce, things might have turned out much differently. (kendrajadeonline.com + msnbc.msn.com)

· "A commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles." No, that's not a description of a car crash or our last hangover—it's the winner of this year's Bad Sex in Fiction Award. (cnn.com)

· A college sex columnist proposes a radical new idea to her schoolmates: try having sex without getting drunk first. Gee ... that's so crazy, it just might work! (ucsbdailynexus.com)

· Using Manix condoms will bring about the end of civilization. If this is commercial is accurate, it may be a price worth paying. (Click "Oui" for the French-impaired.) (tropdeplaisir.net, via adrants.com)

· Lucy Pinder demonstrates the proper way to use a pole for dancing. She's such a dedicated teacher. (attuworld.com)

· Finally, you haven't played volleyball until you've played naked volleyball. The Japanese beat us to all the technological innovations, don't they?

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

It is probably because the feisty Penny Flame once questioned why I was taking naked pictures of her that she remains fascinating. (To be clear, she was naked, not me. This time).

With her new sinsemilla-centric movie for Shane's World, it has become clear that it was not from lack of grooviness that Flame refused, but because she was paranoid that I was The Man or some kind of suit.

Check out some bongwatermarked photos from "Blazed And Confused 2" after the gap. - GP

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Shot on Maui, "Blazed And Confused 2" stars Taryn Thomas, the elusive Amy Ried, Flame, and Emily Evermore. The dude looking all post-apocalyptic is Jack Venice, whom Fleshbot readers might know from "The New Neighbors".

· Buy "Blazed & Confused 2" (shanesworld.com)

(Fleshbot does not condone substance abuse of any kind (though self-abuse remains our meal ticket). Note to editor: why don't we have a "substance abuse" tag? [Ed. note: We do now!])

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

Since we spend practically all our time sitting in front of our computers in our underwear trawling porn to bring you on Fleshbot, we really don't get to hang with the cool kids much—which is one reason why we've been such big fans of the ever-debonair Merlin Bronques and his sexy LastNightsParty pics, which really are the next best thing to being there. Bronques celebrated the release of the brand new LNP book at the Chelsea Barnes and Noble in New York this week, and you'll have a chance to win your own autographed copy right here on Fleshbot very soon.

In the meantime, check out our gallery of exclusive preview pics from the book after the jump. (And keep hoping that some of those cool kids invite us to one of those parties sometime soon. We're getting lonely sitting here in our underwear.)

· "LastNightsParty: Where Were You Last Night?" (book info @ killshopkill.com)
· Order: "LastNightsParty: Where Were You Last Night?" (Amazon)
· LastNightsParty (lastnightsparty.com)

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Photos © LastNightsParty:

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· Order: "LastNightsParty: Where Were You Last Night?" (Amazon)