Fleshbot: diy

It's Phoenix Marie's "Sexy Life," And You're Welcome To It

Gram Ponante — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

You know who's sexy in person? That Phoenix Marie. She seems, in all the best ways, ready to go. So we were very interested to see her solo project, "My Sexy Life."

My Sexy Life

Studio: Muffia
Director: Phoenix Marie
Cast: Phoenix Marie, Andi Anderson, Eric Swiss, Angelina Valentine, Carmella Bing, Francesca Le, Tori Black, Adriana Nicole

A lot of porn seems DIY in a bad way, as if a lack of skill was masquerading as an aesthetic. But this movie, which is just a camera and a bunch of hot, raspy, incorrigible women who would be doing this even if they weren't getting paid (though the tits suggest they are) really makes "My Sexy Life" a boner-inducing trainwreck of a home movie.

It's the night after a big party (we're told this, and we believe it) and Phoenix Marie wants to recreate something on a cold morning that worked so well the night before, you know, when everyone was wasted. The delicious Andi Anderson strips down to a bikini and attempts a run at a Slip-n-Slide. It doesn't really work, but she looks good doing it.

Marie and Anderson are pretty much screaming at each other like any loud girls who know they're sexy. We wonder if the whole movie will be like this, and think: "I could stand this for maybe one full day. But I would stand the fuck out of it."

Phoenix takes us on a guided tour of her life, and we meet all her sexy friends (Adriana Nicole, Francesca Le, Tori Black, Angelina Valentine, Carmella Bing) in various semi-staged outings at the AVN convention, a soccer field, a dildo store, and on a trampoline.

While we are happy Phoenix Marie took us along, ultimately we wished someone else had been holding the camera. Shots are blurry or too fast; not careful enough to get a good look at the star. It is as if she thought her friends deserved all the attention in her own movie.

If there had been a B-roll of this movie, which there wasn't, it would have been great. As it is, we wanted more of a perspective on Phoenix Marie's "Sexy Life."

· Muffia (muffia.com)
· Buy "My Sexy Life" (gamelink.com)

Angelic Shirley Is Waiting In A Tampa Gloryhole

Gram Ponante — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Somewhere in a dingy Tampa bookshop kneels naked, 20-year-old Shirley. She peers through a crudely cut hole in the sheetrock and waits for all comers. She doesn't have to wait long.

"Gloryhole Girlz 6" takes us back to a time when porn was just a little more sordid, unpolished, and local. Dirty D Productions is, after all, the same outfit that brings us the "Crack Whore Confessions" series.

The standard gloryhole is a very anonymous (save for the stray pubes one finds clinging to the wall) endeavor. One pokes one's dick through with the hope that whomever receives it takes good care of it. But the customer never sees who is servicing him.

In "GloryHole Girlz" Shirley (and four other Tampa natives) strip for the camera and then await the inevitable, which arrives at eye level. Shirley quickly dispatches with three customers, and her interview is utterly charming, made more so by the sassy/creepy interplay between herself and the cameraman.

I like movies like this because they get to a baser, non-airbrushed level of sex for money; we can smell the tiny cubicle in which Shirley kneels from here, and her guests are not putting on any Ed Hardy douchebag airs, either. All she'd need to do to put a cap on the delightful debasement is hum "On the Good Ship Lollipop" through a mouthful of spooge.

(Maybe for the Blu-ray edition.)

The question we're asking when it comes...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:19:14 EDT

The question we're asking when it comes to the WiibratorLink is not why or how, but what is taking so long? It's not like people haven't been waiting for something like this since before they were waiting for Mario Kart. (oioo.deo, via slashdong.org)

Photographer To Naked Models: "Do It Yourself"

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:39:51 EDT

We're big fans of the DIY ethic, mostly because whenever our bosses ask us to stay a little late and put in some extra work our response is usually, "Do it yourself!" But there's a different kind of DIY that we're also fans of, and it's in the same style as the homemade self-sufficient photography that made MySpace famous. Photographer Uwe Ommer devoted a whole book to the self-shot naked portrait, helping his models to create nude photographs that they snapped on their own. Ommer obviously lent a helping hand with the setup and lighting, so the results are miles above the pouty-look-in-the-mirror snapshots that are a staple of social networking profile pics. But the concept remains the same—leave a beautiful girl alone with a camera and see what she can create. We don't want to ruin the surprise for you, but it's pretty hot.

· "Do It Yourself" - Photos de Uwe Ommer (uweommer.eu)
· Uwe Ommer — "Do It Yourself" (book @ taschen.com)

Up Close And Very Personal With The DIY Dildo Cam

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:20:55 EDT

Everyone knows that the difference between "erotica" and "porn" is the frequency of extreme closeups of a penis moving in and out of a vagina. But when you're shooting your own personal amateur masterpiece at home (and without the help of Swedish authorities) how can you get that special balls-eye view to make your final product look as good as the professional kind? Here's one solution: build your own homemade dildo cam! With a little glue, a few wires and some good old fashioned ingenuity, you can take viewers on a ride on that train as it enters the tunnel. (Note: Actually installing a camera in one's scrotum is still best left to the pros.)

· DIY Dildo Cam (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Steampunk Masturbation: Jerkin' It Very Old School

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:08:42 EDT

Are you familiar with that whole "steampunk" thing all the kidz are talking about? If so, congratulations—you're a nerd! Fortunately, we love nerds around here and that's why this video tickled (or maybe abused) our various bones. For the uninitiated, steampunk fans are into reading and writing about and even building old-timey technological contraptions that may not be as convenient or cheap (or useful) as your fancy modern doo-dads, but they sure look cool on a shelf in the den. (If you still don't get it, read more Boing Boing.) Well, online nerd leader Merlin Mann has taken this aesthetic to its logical conclusion,with his own homemade steampunk onanism device, modeled after the "masturbatory sketchbook" of H.G. Wells (the "Leonardo Da Vinci" of jerking off). Yes, it's expensive and heavy and very, very painful to use, but fapping with this will make you so totally punk! Steampunk that is! Dig the old world, "artis-anal" craftsmanship below.

. . .

· Steampunk DIY from Merlin Mann (vimeo.com)
· Merlin Mann on Steampunk Masturbatory Devices (coilhouse.net - thanks Molly!)

P.S. Yes, he's kidding.

A Polish man working in England who was...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:42:25 EST

A Polish man working in England who was caught in a compromising position with his vacuum cleaner, claims he was just vacuuming his underwear, which is "a common practice in Poland." Of course, it is! How do you get potato chip crumbs out of your pants? (thesun.co.uk)

We often wonder what to do with all the...

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:53:09 EST

We often wonder what to do with all the free condoms we have lying around (aside from, you know ... the obvious), but it never occurred to us to make a condom aquarium. Probably because we like fish and don't want to kill them with this horrible idea. (practicalfishkeeping.co.uk)

Sexy Etsy Post-Holiday Gift Guide Roundup

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:44:15 EST

Handmade goods are hot; after all, when someone's good with their hands, they're ... well, good with their hands. And when you mix handmade goods with sex, consider us sold. Here's a look at some of the sexy (and sometimes strange) goods we've come across lately at Etsy.com, our favorite stop for all things artsy and craftsy. If Santa didn't bring you what you were hoping for this holiday, cheer yourself up by picking up a little something for yourself. Your own hands will thank you.

"Blue RIdge Biggy" Ceramic Dildo
With all the talk of phthalates and other scary chemicals oozing from certain rubber sex toys, we find ourselves longing for a simpler time: a time when sex toys were made of natural materials like wood, stone, and ceramic. Thanks to Tantric Clay, that time is now, with a big blue ceramic dildo that looks like it was dug up from an archeological site somewhere. Who needs a jelly rabbit-shaped thing anyway?

Naughty Letters Alphabet Book
Because really, you know you'd have learned to read way faster if the "G" in your alphabet book had been a guy giving himself head.

Psychedelic Personal Penis Pendant Necklace
We all like to keep the things we love the most close to our hearts on a sparkly chain—and if your nearest and dearest is a martian with genital warts (or maybe just a body paint aficionado), this psychedelic personal penis necklace should do you just fine.

Kink card
It can be hard to talk about sex. and even more so when your when your desires don't always fall under the vanilla category. But don't let your nerves get the best of you: if you can't say it in words, say it with a kinky card. It's just the thing when you care enough to send something that says "I want you to shove a ball gag in my mouth and make me your bitch."

Flash Your Peen Hoodie Charm
Got a secret exhibitionist streak? Flash the world vicariously through this little gold hoodie charm. But try to keep your peen in your pants when you're out in public ... unless, say, you're at a sex party or the Folsom Street Fair.

How To Make Killer Amateur Porn (With Examples!)

Jonnobot — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 13:54:01 EST

There's no shortage of guides out there purporting to tell you how to make your own homemade sex video, but perhaps only a dedicated smuthound like Davo could create a list of ten helpful tips complete with video clips to show you how it's done. Because really ... just knowing that things like lingerie, double penetrations, and fruits and vegetables can make the difference between a truly amateur effort and a genuine masterpiece isn't nearly as instructive as actually seeing them in action.

· How to make a killer homemade porn movie? 10 examples (privatepornmovies.com)

Previously: DIY Porn Classes, How To Make Your Own Facials, How To Start Your Own Adult Pay Site, The Internet Escort's Handbook: How To Make A Fucking Profit

And while we're on the subject of vibrators...

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 11:53:08 EST

And while we're on the subject of vibrators ... what's cooler than the music-powered OhMiBod sex toy? An OhMiBod when it's plugged in to a guitar. It's almost enough to make us want to date a musician. Almost.. (notcot.com)

Even though 2 out of 6 Fleshbot staff members...

Violet Blue — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:48:08 EST

Even though 2 out of 6 Fleshbot staff members already have their own set of squishably pre-installed stress units, we're glad to see the brainy breast lovers at Instructables providing this how-to on making a stress boob of your very own. After all, you never know when an extra one (or two) might come in handy. (instructables.com - thanks Courtney)

Just in time for your pre-Thanksgiving kitchen...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:22:14 EST

Just in time for your pre-Thanksgiving kitchen preparations, here are 15 naughty things you can do with a turkey baster besides impregnate that nice lesbian couple who live next door. Here's one more use that you probably hadn't thought of: Baste a turkey! (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Masturbation At 300 RPM

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 16:19:46 EST

Sadly, sex toy coverage is usually limited to dildos and vibrators, because there's so many more options for things to insert then there are places to insert. It's not really fair to the guys, but when it comes to mechanical manipulation, you're often forced to improvise. On the bright side, guys can be pretty industrious when the stakes are high enough. Like this gentleman, who we met via Katie Morgan's toy tutorial and was not satisfied with the most popular option out there—the Fleshlight—so he decided to ... well, you can see for yourself. Please do not try this at home without a degree from MIT or a certified Maytag repairman on site. You are decidedly not ready for this jelly.

· Katie Morgan on Sex Toys (air date schedule @ hbo.com)

Previously: Katie Morgan On Sex Toys

Electric Bondageland: Building The Better BDSM Gear

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:31:55 EDT

One of our favorite things about this job is seeing the incredible ingenuity that people will employ in the neverending struggle to get themselves off. It's seems like a pretty straightforward task, but that has never stopped nerds, geeks, tinkerers, crafters, and OCD sufferers from adding as many bells and whistles to the process as they can—usually after designing and building the bells and whistles themselves.

So you can understand why our jaws dropped in amazement at this "Controlled Sensations" computer operated bondage station. Not content to merely build a sturdy table for BDSM play and then rig it up with half a dozen or so vibrating and electro-stim devices, the whole thing is also wired up to a laptop computer that can control the entire buzzing and shocking experience, even running preprogrammed erotic scenarios. It's billed as the perfect gift for the "lazy top" who loves to mess with their willing slave, but doesn't have the energy to do much more than push a few buttons. We can't even imagine the effort that went into designing and constructing this funhouse contraption (even the highly-detailed online instructions are exhausting) but we tip our hat to the evil mastermind who was clever enough to pull it off. We think this is one household gadget where you definitely should read manual.

· Controlled Sensations: A Computer Controlled Bondage (tpe.com, via Slashdong)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Electrical Silicone Cock Ring Set, Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Electrosex Plug (Or, Fun With 'Trodes!)

We're totally grooving on these hand-embroidered...

Fleshbot — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:36:56 EDT

We're totally grooving on these hand-embroidered porno hankies, although considering what we usually use hankies for we'd hate to get all that fancy stitching mucked up with gooey stuff. (We meant blow our noses. What did you think we were talking about?) (Flickr, via Boing Boing)

Anyone can stick their stems into a regular...

Lux Nightmare — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 11:12:59 EDT

Anyone can stick their stems into a regular old flower vase, but it takes a special kind of perv to put them in a Naughty Deflower Vase, which you can make yourself by ~~circumcizing~~ cutting up the condoms of your choice. Hopefully your orchids will still respect you in the morning. (trendhunter.com, via Shake Well Before Use)

Attention all you horny hippies out there:...

Fleshbot — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:54:22 EDT

Attention all you horny hippies out there: the good folks at Homemade Sex Toys have provided these helpful instructions on how to tie-dye your dildo. Needless to say, waterproof pigments are a must unless you want to risk the chances of ... well, we'll let you come up with that mental picture yourself. (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Looking for a replacement for that worn...

Lux Nightmare — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 13:05:57 EDT

Looking for a replacement for that worn out, overused cum rag? We recommend ordering this hand embroidered sex towel. Since it's clearly labeled, there's no chance you'll mix it up with, say, the one you use to dry your dishes with. (We usually just look for those telltale off-white stains to tell them apart, but you can't be too careful.) (etsy.com)

CUM2CUT: Do-It-Yourself Porn Comes To Berlin

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:39:19 EDT

The Berlin Porn Film Festival is returning to the German capital later this month, but for those of you who don't have a major adult feature film ready to premiere at the event, it's not too late to get in on the fun. In the tradition of Seattle's HUMP! festival, aspiring pornographers are invited to shoot and submit their own smutty films through Berlin's partner festival, CUM2CUT. There's only one catch—you have to film and edit the whole thing in Berlin in just four days. Fortunately, there's a secondary "pr0n" competition for non-German visitors that allows you to upload a short film to their site and entries from both contests will be shown at the main Berlin festival. Was it Andy Warhol who said "someday everyone will be in porn for 5 minutes," because that future may have already arrived?

· CUM2CUT - Indie-Porn-Short-Movies Festival (cum2cut.net)
· PORNfilmfestivalBERLIN 2007 (pornfilmfestivalberlin.de)
· Thumbnail courtesy budding auteur Brooke Skye (brookeskye.com)

Previously: Getting A Leg Up In Porn, Berlin Porn Film Festival