We studied a bit of English literature back in college and if we learned anything from that adventure, it's this—poets get a ton of ass. Those Romantic era fools were a bunch of geniuses, not because they understood iambic pentameter and the proper use of rhyme scheme, but because they knew how some flowery words and a few well-timed couplets could charm the pantaloons off any comely lass. That spirit is alive and well (sorta) on the movingly-named blog, "She asked me for a symphony (I only gave her songs)", which reprints many of the great poems of all-time, helpfully illustrated with winsome naked babes. Since poetry was invented specifically to woo chicks (look it up!) it's an appropriate marriage of beauty and words ... and all without one single mention of Nantucket. Now does anyone know a word that rhymes with "dirt pipe"?

· She asked me for a symphony (I only gave her songs) (sheaskedmefor.blogspot.com)
· Thumbnail: Lord Byron and friends, via noelcollection.org

Previously: Blowjobs and Haikus, Jess Fink's Dirty Limericks, Porn Review Haikus Limericks: All-Azz Edition, Hentai Haiku

· Sienna Miller and Jude Law might be history, but fortunately an upskirt shot and a pair of white cotton panties are forever! (nypost.com + egotastic.com)

· What do you see when you look at this picture? If you said "dolphins," then you must be some kind of pervert. (onlinedeal.blogspot.com)

· In addition to MySpace, MTV and lad mags, you can add hotel room TVs to the list of things will kill you and your family. It seems adults can't be trusted with porn, but you probably already knew that. (usnewswire.com + avn.com, see the ad @ frc.org)

· A new survey says that Australian men are the most loyal, South Korean men have the most sex, Brazilians have the most threesomes, and Italians guys always bring their women to orgasm. Wow ... no matter where they live men are incredible liars. (news.com.au)

· This looks interesting: "A rapidly burgeoning literature documents copious sex influences on brain anatomy, chemistry and function." Now could somebody read this and then it explain it to us? (nature.com)

· A woman in Estonia falls through the floor of an old house and into the basement while having sex. Would a "she's a real homewrecker" joke be too obvious here? (mg.co.za)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· W magazine honors the great cover girls of all time by making them look horrendous in this photo spread. Carolyn Murphy, on the other hand, doesn't care for their tactics - or their clothes. (style.com)

· Forbes lists the hottest billionaire heiresses, including both Hiltons, a couple of Hearsts, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. (Really? Yes, really.) Now that's the kind of sound investment advice we've come to expect from Forbes. (forbes.com)

· Drunken Stepfather demands that someone order him to cease and desist displaying these photos of Pink peeing in public. Anyone? Please? (drunkenstepfather.com)

· Sending Kate Beckinsale nude pictures of yourself is apparently not the best way to show you're her number one fan. Guess we'll have to try a different approach. (stuff.co.nz)

· Global warming doomsayers are being attacked for what some are calling "climate porn". Don't get too excited. We checked on this one and it's not what you think. (bbc.co.uk)

· Finally, just because it's the end of the week: wet t-shirt contest! (metacafe.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

For the record, not everyone who likes to dress up in homemade costumes does it to get their jollies in the bedroom. So don't click on Cosplay.com expecting to see elaborate hardcore fantasies acted out by the cast of Star Trek. It's a community site that helps costume fans meet and also gives them a forum to share photos, stories, and even sewing tips. On the other hand, a lot of folks do get off on the funky wigs and capes, so the site is definitely worth checking out ... whether you took up your hobby because it gets you hot and bothered or because it gets you free admission to comic book conventions. If you're lucky, it does both.

· Cosplay.com (cosplay.com)

Previously: Superheroine Fantasies, Princess Leia's Metal Bikini Forever!, E3 Booth Babes 2006, Supergirls, Batman Fetish Shoot, Game Show and Cosplay Convention Cuties, Sexy Cosplay Angels

Does this picture seem like the kind of image that would be deemed unfit to print by reason of obscenity? Well, it would be if you tried to get it developed at the Sam's Club in Topeka, Kansas, as one unlucky customer recently discovered. It seems that while the big box store has no problem selling R-rated movies or even actual bikinis much smaller than the one pictured here, a bored photo manager is free to comb through your negatives and decide which pictures are acceptable and which ones aren't. The customer was obviously not pleased by this overzealous censorship—and neither are we, which is why we're happy to help broadcast her displeasure. Plus, we're kinda hoping that if we ask nicely, she'll post some more pinup shots of the "offending" model. You know, in protest.

· "What's the matter with Kansas? Seriously." (disgruntledhousewife.com via Consumerist)
· Order: "Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond" (Amazon)

Previously: CBS's Nude "Rock Star", E3 Booth Babes 2006, Watching the Banned (Super Bowl Commercials)

Not to be confused with a poem about King Arthur's dad, Utherverse is billed as a social networking site without the prudery of MySpace.

This privately-funded, Las Vegas-based domain has a way to go, however, before it rivals MySpace or even XPeeps, the first of the "MySpace got old" reactions. For one thing, it was damn hard putting together the right combination of keywords that would result in an actual hottie and - the real downer - a simple search for "Lovecraft" yielded only seven hits. Monica, here, surfaced along with three others when I typed in "porn star".

Finally: it looks like Friendster.- G. Ponante

· Utherverse (utherverse.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

The average woman in the U.K. is a size 16, but hardly any woman that size feels like an average girl. That's the starting point for "How to Look Good Naked," a new British TV series that attempts to change womens' lives by helping them learn to love their bodies, no matter what their size or shape. (Plus, you get to watch girls walking around in their underwear and have nude glamour shots taken. It's a win-win for everybody!) Each a week, a new gal is taken under the wing of not-at-all flamboyant stylist Gok Wan, and shown how to use style and attitude to become comfortable with their bodies—in and out of their clothes, no extreme makeover (and absolutely no plastic surgery) necessary. We're firm believers that everyone looks good naked, so naturally we love this plan. And since American TV executives haven't come up with a good idea since they stole "Three's Company", look for a knock-off U.S. version to arrive by next fall.

· How to Look Good Naked (official site + trailer @ channel4.com)
· "How this brave Welsh mum's picture could change the way women think about their body shapes" (icnetwork.co.uk)

If you came across some of her photos online and didn't already know that Bettina Rheims was a highly respected portrait and fashion editorial photographer, you might think they were particularly artsy examples from some Euro high-gloss glamour porn studio like Hegre or Domai. But they're fine art, as evidenced by the fact that many of them are featured in a current retrospective exhibition of the photographer's work currently on view at the Musée d'Art Contemporain in Lyon. Which we suppose means you're allowed to feel less like a perv for looking at them. Ain't art great?

· Bettina Rheims Gallery (art-forum.org, via sexblo.gs)
· "Rétrospective Bettina Rheims au Musée d'art contemporain de Lyon" (exhibition info and images @ photosapiens.com)
· Order: "Bettina Rheims Retrospective" (Amazon)