Minnie Mouse Maliciously Mauled

You just can't take grandpa anywhere anymore. And by "grandpa," we don't mean Ryan Seacrest. Fooled you for a second, right? More »

The Case Of The Missing Porn Collection

Tragedy has struck in the Dutch city of Leeuwarden: the municipal porn collection has gone missing, and officials fear it may never be returned. Or, worse yet, will be returned in used condition. More »

The Perfect Crime?

A Porn Valley bukkake production—which typically pays its 50-to-60 male performers in cash—got robbed at gunpoint while the cast was getting ready make its deposit. Talk about getting caught with your pants down! (xbiz.com)

Porn Theatre Arson In Osaka

Sad news from Japan: An arsonist set fire to Osaka's Cats Adult Video Theater early Wednesday morning, killing 15 people. (Apparently, such theaters are popular overnight resting spots for young people and for businessmen who miss their trains.) Police have arrested a 46-year-old man who admitted to setting the blaze—by which he intended to kill himself, telling police that he was "tired of living". Which is never a reaction we've had watching porn, no matter how bad it's been. (w/video @ NHK.or.jp, via AVN)

A court ruled this week that a man who sodomized a sheep will not have to register as a sex offender because the sheep cannot be considered a victim of sexual assault under Michigan law. We hope that after the injured livestock gets back on her feet she organizes a protest—or at least buys the dude a box of inflatable sheep sex dolls, or maybe even a ram dildo to beat him with (in an unpleasant way, of course). Hey, sheep are people too! (freep.com, thumbnail by yuridojc @ flickr.com)

Japanese police launched a full-scale murder investigation after the gruesome discovery of body bound, gagged and wrapped in plastic ... that was actually just a life-size sex doll. Man, those CSI guys are good! (guardian.co.uk)

A DVD distributor says that 97% of all adult DVDs in Australia are actually pirated copies sold by the mob. Apparently, copyright infringement is more lucrative than bootlegging these days. (news.com.au; thumb via)

If you're breaking into an adult store and can't get the cash register open, we suppose making off with a $385.75 Jenna Jameson Vibrating Ass & Pussy with Double Bullet Controller is the next best thing. (We probably would have reached for the Heather Vandeven Doggy Style model ourselves, but that's just us.) (Xbiz; buy your own @ adultdvdempire.com)

If you want people to read your book review, it helps to put the words "porn star" in the title of your article. Of course, if the book is called "Money Shot" and comes wrapped up in a sexy faux-vintage pulp cover, it probably sells itself too.(bloomberg.com + Amazon)

"Money Shot": A Hard-Boiled Porn Thriller

As Angel Dare begins bringing down vengeance on the people who raped and nearly murdered her, the porn star-turned-adult talent agency owner entertains second thoughts. But she gets over them in a hurry. The character created by author Christa Faust in "Money Shot" moves in a spot-on depiction of Porn Valley, the truest mainstream media picture we've seen in a book that combines Joseph Wambaugh's procedural efficiency with Richard S. Prather's gutpunching deadpan. More »

So of course you wouldn't be so crass as to drool over pictures of an incredibly hot Russian glamour model-slash-private security entrepreneur who was tragically killed in a carjacking gone awry in Moscow this week? Of course you wouldn't.. (slog.thestranger.com; more @ dailymail.co.uk + CNN)

A master thief robbed three Missouri sex toy shops in one night by smashing in the front door with his minivan and then taking off with all the vibrators. Subtle and effective ... just like most of the toys he stole! (kansascity.com)

Forget about your parents, children or significant others: the best reason to keep your porn stash hidden is so burglars don't kick in your door and make off with it. What are you doing to protect your loved ones? (star-telegram.com)

A security leak at an adult web company may have compromised the email addresses of thousands of paysite customers. Fortuntately, no one uses their real name or email address when signing up for those things. (dailynews.com)

"Nude Couple Grapple Over Dog Near Shower." Yep, that headline pretty much explains it all. No, wait ... it actually leaves us very confused and a little bit scared. (ap.google.com)

Christmas Eve probably seemed like the perfect time to rob an adult video store, but just because Santa's busy doesn't mean he can't see you being naughty. Besides, breaking into places in the middle of night with a bag full of toys is his job. (signonsandiego.com)

Members of the British Parliament want to make it illegal to pay for sex (since, incredibly enough, it isn't already) even though a similar crackdown by their Australian friends has only made the sex trade more violent and dangerous. But we're sure their idea is totally going to work out better. (bbc.co.uk + news.com.au)

You know that "modern day Bonnie and Clyde" story the media won't shut up about? It seems there are two reasons why ... and they're both bolted on "Bonnie"'s chest. If the real Bonnie Parker had a rack like that they probably wouldn't have shot her so many times. (phillymag.com + philly.com + atomicsexkitten.blogspot.com)

A Wisconsin man is accused of breaking into a sex shop and stealing their blowup dolls (while the leaving the cash register untouched.) Sadly, his alibi was full of holes. (madison.com; thumb via sexblo.gs)

The Yab Yum club, one of the most famous brothels in Amsterdam, has had its license revoked by the city for engaging in "criminal transactions." It's all part of the mayor's bold "eliminate all tourism" strategy. (ap.google.com)

Sure, things like shelter, clothing, and food are important, but let's not forget that homeless people need phone sex too ... sometimes badly enough to break into a church and call a phone sex line to get it. Guess that's one way of getting closer to God. (iht.com)

If you find Andres Serrano's "History Of Sex" series to be a decadent assualt on a "healthy culture", try to register your displeasure by picketing peacefully or something instead of storming the gallery with crowbars and axes and posting a video of yourselves destroying the works on YouTube. Or maybe that's just the way we look at it—after all, we think that whole decadence and indecency thing is part of a healthy culture. (NY Times; see the video @ Gawker)

"A police officer is in serious condition after being shot in the buttocks with his own pistol while scuffling with porno vending machine thieves here Friday." Ok sir, which part of that story would you like to explain first? (mainichi.jp)

Three adult stores in Maryland have been burned down in the last nine months which leaves authorities wondering who could hate porn that much. One proposed solution: flame-retardant dildos. (examiner.com)

It's been ten years since Taiwan banned prostitution completely ending the practice of sex for money and making the island a blissful, crime-free paradise. Um ... right? (taipeitimes.com)

About 25,000 people in Britain are going to be "sliploos" this weekend after thieves made off with a cargo truck full of underpants. The good news? More upskirt pictures next week! (bbc.co.uk)

Just a suggestion—if you're going to shoplift a spank mag, at least wait until you're off the premises before you put it to good use. There's no return policy on those things, you know. (news.com.au)

A Moscow man stripped down and then he More »

"If someone offers you frilly women's lingerie on the street, call police." But why? Is that considered unusual behavior in some places? (wtop.com, via Fark)

A former pastor in charge of a fund for disabled Iowans used a third of its annual budget to buy a home theater, a laptop and, of course ... lots and lots of porn. Oh, and a subscription to Creative Knitting magazine, because at that point why the fuck not? (desmoinesregister.com)

TechWorld has excerpts from Kieren Mccarthy's book "Sex.com" which provides some great reading for anyone interested in bizarre, but highly lucrative cybercrimes from the old Wild West days of the web. Also, they use the word "sex" a lot. (techworld.com)

Morning Wood: Michelle Marsh Is A Handful

More »

Wet Spots: Four Public Nudity Stories ... And A Giant Ass Tattoo

More »

Morning Wood: Born To Ride

More »

Morning Wood: Keeley's Back! (Not That She Ever Went Away)

More »

Morning Wood: Lucy Pinder's Flip Flop

More »

Wet Spots: Two Lad Mags And Blender

More »

Morning Wood: You And Gemma Atkinson Have A Future Together

More »

Morning Wood: Jenny McCarthy's Nipples Go To The Beach

More »