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New York, 2:19 AM
Thu Dec 17
22 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip Your Editors:
Editor:
Lux Alptraum |
Contributing Editors:
Brian O'Brien |
Calamitious |
Ottimo Massimo |
Contributors:
D. Cypher
AlwaysArousedGirl
Madeline Glass
Senior Erotic Consultant:
Gram Ponante
Founding Editor:
John D.
10/09/09
10/07/09
BTW, pic #4 is absolutely hilarious - the director and AD look on as Randy Spears dejectedly has an ass in his face.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/09/09
07/27/09
07/25/09
07/09/09
05/30/09
02/26/09
02/25/09
12/19/08
12/20/08
12/14/08
12/14/08
Suit Up
If you build it, they will cum.
12/14/08
Notice: All Activities Monitored by Video Camera
12/13/08
Fuck you, you fucking job-headed, jive-turkey, Gatorade-brain, lunkhead, bird-brain, testicle shitting rectal wart, shit-eating, fuzzy, vibrating, pink, toe sucking, left gay foot dancing, honkey, cracker, poop licking, beeping beepity beeper, flanger stomping, tree hugging, hippie, yippie, boner biting, basket weaving, jump roping, hippy-hop-scotching, dj clueless loving, baby bitch, sesame street hating, LFO loving, Cher licking and repairing, crotch rocketing, fart sniffing, juicy fruit chewing, anti-bunghole, snowball making, anti Spanish soap operas with hot chicks, YAAY, YAAY, I PEED IN YOUR POOL, YAAY, underage porn downloading, I'm gonna kill all you white bitches, emo, cocksniffing, broom wielding, ventilation system installing, snake juggling, kitten kissing, ass-faced, legally blonde watching, Honda civic racing, cheating, unpleasant, unkempt, non-lava-lamp-watching, party-mix hating, poison ivy-ass wiping, stop sign running, national dairy council groupie.
I bet you wear a t-shirt that says "arrest me, I have drugs" when you are meeting your parole officer, you community center volunteering, town council running, class participating, grill cracking, tubloidial buttnoid. You need to go away, you cam digging, corn shucking, AIDS infested, dirty, sloppy, anal retentive, diabolical, half-witted, Krusty-the-clown shaped pubic hair sporting, shitty, lame, broken ass, busted, moron, gang symbol flashing, party pooping, poopy partying, non-tailgating, Yuengling worshipping, fountain of youth seeking, disco dancing, kung-fu fighting, car-washing, YMCA singing, dungeon and dragons playing, Canadian, Claritin addicted, rat infested, termite damaged, do-it-yourselfing, money-grubbing, peacenik, beatnik, pinko, republican, communist, red commie bastard, socialist, punk rocking, butt funk sweating, cheese grating, foul mouthed, racist, fondue dipping, semi-porous, pansy, cell wall, destructively flirtatious, bow down so I can fart in your mouth, uneducated fool of a cockmaster.
You fucking guy, you're a pro-globalization, fuck the police, 187, drug dealing, carpet munching, vaginal wall scraping, sugar coated, double A battery not including, power tool renting, road runner rooting, plumbing clogging, candle burning, devil worshipping, incense lighting, tight lipped, loose-lipped, cunt rag sniffing, drawer snooping, prying, crying, crack induced, homozygous, gasoline powered, donkey-raping, purple dinosaur watching, barnyard trash, look-what-the-cat-dragged-in, tailspin hating, scrooge, coked up, belly dancing, agriculturally inept, dangerous to society and your own health, pissing off the neighbors by pissing on the neighbors, disturbing the peace, graphing calculator using, U2 appreciating, take-your-daughter-to-work-day-abusing, mannequin groping, anti-federalist, power to the people, bloody vaginal wall lining, bathhouse frequenting, fleabag, tea-bagging, yogurt facial receiving, kiwi flavored, pear scented, scruffy, too soft and cuddly, bowel movement rubbing, potato stealing, horse shooting, power ballad singer.
When your genitals are exposed members of the opposites sex recoil in sheer horror and then proceed to flee the scene. Treat your frequent heartburn with persistent itching, you symbiotic, wookie stroking, fool-hardy, poor tempered, short fused, weakling, holographic, streets representing, mall rat, yellow-bellied, nasty, pasty-assed, banana boat-thong-bikini-wearing, yo-yo smuggling, yayo peddling, cow tipping, polyurethane, cockslapping, albino rhino, Nuevo riche, bourgeoisie, bourgetto, honkey-tonk, highfalutin, artificially flavored, riboflavin, maltodextrin, funky-town visiting, stuck in the eighties, mid-life crisis, looking for Mr. Goodbar, squeezing the Charmin, traitor.
A bucket full of AIDS upon you and your family, you llama faced, thunder-thighed, tighty-whitey, Kraft dinner eating, hooligan ass nerf-herder, ner-do-well, scoundrel, rapscallion, dainty, halogen, young whippersnapper, poopy-pants, skid-mark, white rapping, collector's edition plate collecting, Elvis impersonating, Marky-Mark.
Juris-my-diction you tortfeasing, sticky, four-horned, vinyl-clad, new-wave, oatmeal chugging, carousing, unseemly, dirt-worshipping, ineffectual, superstitious, gourd hollowing, alphabet belching, soup serving, surgery botching, magnet ingesting, ape mimicking, candy refusing, prostate milking, goat embracing, disdainful, cholera spreading, wheezy, shifty, fast, imprudent strumpet.
You haven't even planned multiple fire escape routes yet, you filthy, fucking malicious, malpractice suit-profiting, street corner lemonade peddling, wet noodle, Fred Durst liking, draft dodging, monkey-brain-eating, vomit inducing, incapacitated, foul, cantankerous, freakazoid, buck-toothed, punk-ass, emosexual, dirty unwiped cunt, metrosexual, shite-encrusted, cop magnet, fallopian tube stretching, linear equation solving, bantha fodder-like, bulletproof, fanny pack wearing, wife-beating, Ford Festiva driving, Ford Fiesta crashing, Maury Povitch viewing, chunky, hopeless, making mountains out of molehills, porcelain god-hugging, Hey-Mickey-You're-So-Fine Singing, wet your pants, uterus kicking, cesium salami, beryllium bologna, sordid, common cold spreading, toadstool fucker.
Up your nose with a garden hose, you bay-breeze sipping, Oreck XL ordering, slutty, Razor Ramon- Oozing Machismo, doily crocheting, rotary phone dialing, rodent eating, lanky, unsportsmanlike, south-pawed, tapioca and rice pudding confusing, migrating, Shirley temple drinking, misogynistic, trying to start the wave at high school basketball games, lend-lease program supporting, dream weaver is your ham-radio handle, genetically misengineered, expense account fund misappropriating, dormant, spurious, pulpy, hummus diving, celibate, dorky, incongruent, cheesy, spackle scraping, fish filleting, potato peeling, latrine swimming, ocarina playing, metric system using, water soluble, asphalt statue of an assclown.
I don't mean to offend you, but shut up or I'll give you a sperm perm, you looney-toon, crackerjack, village idiot, sour, sickly, drama queen, Pepsi-1 drinking, sloppy ass, inefficient, Jekyll and Hyde, neat freak, handicapped parking space stealing, baby-raping, soy-milk in your cereal, lover of waiting in line at the DMV, bungling bunghole, saucy, pope-slapping, Cosby show hating, Fox news watching, Jell-O pudding injecting, skanky, yellow, solar flaring, fecal deposit.
You probably like Flag Day better than Arbor Day, you thick skulled, blockheaded, grapefruit-juice chugging, root beer keg party throwing, ecstasy cigarette smoking, Tupac is still alive believing, carpet-bagging, candy-ass, pill popping, home wrecking, rusty, non-antidistesablishmentarianistic, militaristic, voyeuristic, stuck-up, pretty boy, cliché, know-nothing, dimwitted, loitering, prissy, four-eyed, two-left-feet, twinkle-toed, vow of silence breaking, destructive, nail-biting, election rigging, tobacco chewing, couldn't sing a note on key if his life depended on it, gelatinous, cave dwelling, scaredy-cat, fancy-pants, puny, putrid, pessimistic, freaky, morbid, junkfaced, fender bending, high maintenance, disillusioned, teacher's pet, know-it-all, whore, cocktease, conniving, backstabbing, weak-minded, glacier-faced, glassy eyed, ass mongrel, slumlord.
I don't care what you say, Tupac would not have listened to Papa Roach, you anal ambassador, panty-sniffing, anal assassin, self-help program attending, ass juice drinking, coffee cake munching, baton twirling, tubular bell listening, cone head.
I'll urinize in your gas tank you wind-chime-hanging, border jumping, anal sex receptive, rim-jobbing, pie-hating, bantering, smutty, donkey-lipped, doofus, goofball, pilfering, no name, uncharismatic, hot dog eating contest losing, NRA card-carrying, Geneva convention ignoring, hairy, rarely bathing, corny, inbred, free-tote-bag-with-purchase-advertising, polluting, metric system touting, brown nosing, unfocused, meth-lab running, lifetime channel watching, Aibo-training, holy object defiling, unununium particle accelerating on a Wednesday night, Honus Wagner fan-club starting, Oprah Winfrey desiring, Julio Iglesias blasting, bra-stuffing, sandcastle contest losing, multiplication table reciting, pinball machine tilting, all your base are belong to someone else, Cincinnati- pillaging, staple gun breaking, bush voting, bushwhacking, paisley, pithy, ungrateful, rainbow brite hating, 4th musketeer, Marvin the Martian worshipping, less than diligent, chitty-chitty-bang-bang, unsupercalifragilisticexpialid..., Bel-Air smoking but not Bel-air driving or Bel-air living, quotidian, will smith protecting, day after Taco Bell shit.
Your mother enjoys licking hyenas' assholes you Fiona Apple detracting, slightly rusty with four bullet holes and an odor of grade f tuna fish purchased in bulk through a mafia dealing involving big Jim Slade and a subway restaurant serving only as a front, Big Jim Slade reference not getting, Miata tuning, icy tundra inhabiting, toys r us stock buying, tilde~ forgetting, print screen frequenting, shareware buying, buddy list on the left side, too cool for tin-foil pipes, Vacation home owning while people are dying of poverty and hunger, Master P record producing, floatie wearing, diaper necessitating, k-turn restricting, sword gargling, Atkins dieting, air and water polluting, and nocturnal emission swallowing, dispensable, lip gloss chewing, condom balloon animal selling, birdhouse building, infomercial believing, appalling, member of the 700 club.
You live in Maine so your state bird is the mosquito, you butt-plug waxing, shimmering ribbon dancing, duplicitous, slave minded, feather duster wielding, surge protector omitting, chicka-chicka-boom-boom singing, domestic, warm leatherette, dj whoo-kid challenging, Colonial Williamsburg visiting, Listerine was originally used as an antiseptic during surgery in the 1800's not knowing, lavender sniffing, cartographer's apprentice aspiring, word art using, student of the architecture of Warsaw. Fuck you for not letting you fields remain fallow at least every seven years, you shitty cd burning, its ok for wheeljack to be a Decepticon thinking, Harold and the purple crayon hating, heretic in the style of Akhenaten when he named his capital Akhetaten and worshipped the aten like Tutankhamen when his name was Tutankhaten, waltzing Matilda ass, Paprika snooter enjoying, filibustering, tungsten filament preferring over neon lighting, Catalina dressing covered, gag me with a spoon, let Yoda refinance your home email opening, less funk than you can shake a stick at, chicken dance dancing, elk shaped, ultra-trendy, homemade porn flinging, compact and/or digital versatile disc scratching, niece of a flock of geese, room service abusing, bunny-ear in picture giving, telemarketing, refrigerator stealing, faulty asphalt in your ass fault, Harry potter groupie, Insanaquarium novice.
I bet your fourth dimensional world line is completely straight, you Gigli viewing, Beniffer in the tabloids following, best of the 70's compact disc compiling, Jimmy Crack corn caring, syphilised, yapping, counterproductive, slimy, tumultuous, bow down so I can fart in your mouth, Rock-A-Doodle watching, mucus plug eating, snot-rocket firing, booty-call avoiding, corpulent, not economically viable, flippant, disfigured, cowardly, crevice dwelling, shoddy, niggardly, chauvinistic, Richter-scale shaking, black hole entering, blabbering, structural adjustment program.
When you die it will give me great pleasure to shit on your grave, you blithering, too much detergent and bounce sheet using, poorly drawn, longwinded, verbal diarrhea spouting, super-efficiency, computer illiterate, squishy, hitherto unbeknownst to the general public, tetherball playing, refugee drowning, toothache causing, beastly, Olsen twin sympathizing, vaginal discharge burger chomping, vestillian breast-cheese slurping, reneging, wholly volatile, globalization spreading, duty-free, neo-conservative, tax-paying, subordinate, feline AIDS enthusiast.
Stop tickling pickles you cannibalistic, inhumane Michael Jackson envying, shitty-sports-bar frequenting, spandex and lycra-wearing, nay-saying, low-key, two-bit, has been, campus bank employed, savage, low-voltage, opaque, slovenly, maharajah burger opposing, xenophobic, uranium snorting, slipper-gnawing, igloo describing, tach-welding, colorform hating bean curd bath taking, soufflé ordering, vociferous, untidy, partisan, would be stupid, brain dead, low resolution, shady, terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad, solar powered Ass-Pirate. You're so vain; I bet you think this insult's about you, don't you, don't you?
12/14/08
That was amazing. Full of win. So brilliant you could cut it with a knife. Especially the ending.
12/14/08
12/15/08
How was it that the world got to read that for free? If there were a telethon you could perform that on, that disease would be cured pronto.
12/16/08
12/13/08
12/13/08