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Celebrity

Ashley Tisdale Gives Us A Birthday Present Ashley Tisdale celebrated her twenty-third birthday by going to Hawaii and prancing around in a bikini. It's kind of a coincidence, because our birthday wish was to see pictures of Ashley Tisdale prancing around in a bikini! Wasn't that thoughtful of her? (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

Brett Ratner Hearts "Big Penis" We don't traffic in much gossip at Fleshbot—we leave that to our colleagues to the east and west—but Page Six just informed us that the biggest celeb to show up for LA's launch of Taschen's "Big Penis Book" was dreamy A-list Hollywood director/producer and noted gay sex expert Brett Ratner, who purchased five copies. Which tells us one of three interesting things: (1) Brett is a size queen; (2) Chad Hunt doesn't bring out the crowds like he used to (though he probably does better than some people), and/or (3) the Post is making a subtle critique of Ratner's bearish heft or a subtle compliment on Ratner's hefty wang. Let the speculation and rumormongering begin! (NYPost.com)

Christina Milian Looks Like A Million Bucks We haven't paid attention to singer-songwriter Christina Milian in years — but these bikini photos have definitely renewed our interest in her, uh, oeuvre. It's never too late to get reacquainted right? After all, we hear she has a new album coming out this year! (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

We were overwhelmed by the response to yesterday's post in which we asked Fleshbot readers to tell us what turned them on, and have already started doing the research to bring you exactly what you've been looking for. While you're waiting, though, can we interest you in these photos of Eva Longoria canoodling with a fire hydrant? We're sure someone was going to get around to adding that to the request list sooner or later, and what with our busy schedules it's always nice to be able to cross things off our list whenever we can. (vanityspy.com)

Oh, Chace Crawford—of course we take you seriously as an actor, you silly thing. After all, just because your name sounds like a porn star's and a disproportionate amount of your publicity photos feature Falcon-style props like cowboy hats and footballs doesn't mean you're not, like, a totally legitimate thespian or anything. Really, did you think that your all-too-infrequent shirtless scenes on "Gossip Girl" were the only things that keep us setting our TiVos every week? (Well, yeah they were actually. But we didn't want you to feel bad.) (Gawker)

linkage

Monday Miscellany and Manbits

... And so we return from another Pride weekend, full of enthusiasm and several gallons of well brand vodka. Also: headaches, flop sweats, and second-degree sunburns, which are somehow less pleasant. Sure, we could've avoided all that and stayed in and caught up on the news—but that's why we have interns! It may seem cruel to keep them chained up, but as soon as they learn to address us as Supreme Overlords and remember the way we like our Bloody Marys, we'll be happy to release them back into the wild. At the moment, though, they're too damn insolent—not to mention useful! Just look at the goodies they dug up while we were out gallivanting ...
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Naomi Campbell Drives Us Crazy We've heard all the crazy stories about how crazy Naomi Campbell is, and we know all about her often violent past. But hey, just looking at Naomi in a bikini is driving us a little crazy too—-and she has to live with that hotness every day of her life. So we think we can give her a pass. A little understanding goes a long way, folks. (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

Verne Troyer Sex Tape Costar Tells All! Although we're as anxious as most of you for the whole Verne Troyer sex tape brouhaha to go the way of Gene Simmons and Joey Buttafuco (= straight to that deeply sequestered part of our mind where we store things like "Small Wonder" and the last couple of Liz Phair albums), we'd be remiss in our duties if we didn't tell you about this radio interview with his lady friend Ranae Shrider in which we're told she discusses "the size of his peen and everything". No, we didn't listen to it ourselves. Even our sense of duty has its limits. (w/photo gallery @ 933flz.com - thanks Shawn)

Speaking of midget porn superstars, it seems that Verne Troyer will not be letting anyone distribute his sex tape anytime soon. We're sure the folks at celeb porn purveyor Red Light District are bummed at the loss of another revenue stream, but in this case we think it's probably all for the best. In fact, we're positive it's all for the best. Really. (telegraph.co.uk)

Despite the helpful instructions in the introduction to this list of Top 10 skinny dipping topless movie scenes, we think it takes a lot more than just a perfect starry night and a couple of bottles of tequila to make all your fondest skinny dipping fantasies come true: judging from the video evidence, it doesn't hurt to have a film crew and a big wad of cash on hand either. We hear that Kate Winslet won't take her top off and run into the water for less than six figures no matter how much tequila you give her. (unibrow.uber.com)

sex tape

Not The Verne Troyer Sex Tape

Given the fact that we were all treated to the sight of him pissing into houseplant on that VH1 reality show a few years ago, we guess this had to happen eventually: Famous tiny person Verne Troyer, best known to audience until this point as Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies, has gone and made himself his very own sex tape. (Yes kids, even dwarves make bad decisions sometimes.) SugarDVD has reportedly offered $100,000 for the tape—but unless they get Troyer's consent, none of us will get to see just how else Verne likes to get freaky. While you're (not) waiting to see how it all pans out, we invite you to watch this alternate reality version of how things might look. We know it's not the real thing, but it's the closest we could find for now ... and maybe the closest you'll ever want to get.

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Some women make a living off their beautiful faces, while others get paid for their bounteous boobs or skills in the sack. And still others are paid to show off their bootylicious behinds. AskMen rounds up their ten favorite ass models— and we're starting to see where Sir Mix-A-Lot was coming from. (askmen.com)

babes

Britney Spears Enjoys A Nice Bikini (Again)

A lot has changed since we first met Britney Spears. The former teen starlet has morphed into a MILF, shown the world her ladyparts, and gone through more hair style changes than we can remember. But over the years, one thing has remained constant: the girl looks great in a bikini. She kind of has to, since no matter what the occasion it seems she's always wearing one. And we love to check her out. (Okay, so that's two things). See the gallery below. More »

We wish we could get more excited about the fact that Mario Lopez has "bared" it "all" for People magazine ... but what do you know folks, we're totally not! Especially after NBC had to go ahead and raise our hopes by pixelating his crotchal region in a preview of the spread they ran earlier this week; considering the fact that People airbrushed every last vestige of pube into oblivion, we don't know why they bothered. (Oh, and? Burt Reynolds was like a thousand times hotter anyway.) (towleroad.com)

David Beckham Squeezes Into Emporio Armani Amateur straight guys and pseudo frat dudes and naked sports jocks and fresh-faced porn models may come and go ... but David Beckham in his underwear is forever. (Or at least until he takes them off; maybe someday we'll get to see what that looks like too.) Click thumbnail for more.

If we had to describe French men's magazine Lui by its covers—and there are a ton to choose from in this gallery that spans three decades worth—we'd say it's a sexy European answer to Playboy and Penthouse. It's in French, though, so we can't even pretend that we want to read it for the articles. (livejournal.com, via Otomano)

babes

Silver Beauties: Babes In Black And White

Color film was invented about 400 years ago (give or take), yet some photographers and filmmakers still stubbornly continue to use black and white to capture their subjects. Why is that? Well, people still listen to records on vinyl and look at dusty old paintings in museums—so why not use an antiquated technology to depict beautiful women too? Silver Beauties (alas, it's not a site for 60-and-over pornstars) certainly thinks that way and if you're looking for sexy photos of the world's most gorgeous women you'll find them here—as long as they're in black and white. The portfolios on view include nude and lingerie shots of actresses, models, and a bunch of international babes you probably haven't heard of, all free for your browsing pleasure. And just think: if you're color blind, you won't even know the difference!

· Silver Beauties: Pictures of beautiful sexy women in black and white (silverbeauties.com; thumb of Letitia Casta)


television

When "Real World" Stars Stop Being Polite And Start Getting Naked

These days it seems like it would only be news if a reality show managed to put together a cast that did not include at least one pornstar. We don't know what it is about the genre that attracts people who are prone to taking their clothes off on camera—perhaps it's the opportunity to take your clothes off on camera?—but whether they started with a youthful indiscretion to pay the rent or parlayed their TV fame into a Playboy pictorial, it's the stars of MTV's "The Real World" who are still the exhibitionist champs. This helpful field guide takes at look at the best and the "brightest" of that universe's stars (guys and girls) who revealed a lot more than basic cable can provide. And there are a lot of them, so you better have a seat.

· A (Not So) Complete History of Naked 'Real World' Cast Members (yuppiepunk.org)
· Related: Big Brother Lisa's porn star past (metro.co.uk)