· Salma Hayek in "Desperado" (celebcap.net)

While the collection does contain a few legit porn pics from the early days, most of the files are graphic advertisements, both gif and jpeg. So instead of looking at some late 1990s beaver shots, we thought it'd be a hoot to reminisce about the flashy, alluring, and often disturbing pre-Y2K ads. We have to admit it, we definitely got tricked into clicking some of these.

· XXX Collection (internetarchaeology.org)

In "Dream Lover," Amick plays a manipulative seductress who has her husband committed to a mental hospital. That's not really our scene. Still, we will cherish this moment, and will pretend it's Shelly asking us to take a long shower with her. It doesn't really matter who she's supposed to be, because Mädchen Amick is hot and naked.

· "Dream Lover" (1993) (imdb.com)
· Mädchen Amick :: Dream Lover (deepatseavideos.blogspot.com)

For instance, this classic clip of Annette Bening in "The Grifters." We'd always assumed that her pubic region would always remain in shadow. But what if—what if—watching this scene in Blu-Ray made the obscured perfectly clear?

Well, that might just be enough to persuade us. (Assuming this movie is in Blu-Ray. Is it?)

· "The Grifters" (imdb.com)
· Annette Bening in "The Grifters" (bzvideoclips.net)

Fair warning: this film (apparently of the horror genre) also mixes in a good deal of gore and blood and guts and whatnot. So if you're not into mixing severed heads with your naked chicks...well, this might be one RetroNudity clip you should just pass on by.

· "Re-Animator" (imdb.com)
· "Re-Animator" (celebcap.net)

As much as we'd like to do more research into these photographs, we'd prefer to just believe in the magic of Monroe. It's like our version of the Monroe Doctrine. Except instead of preventing European expansionist ideals from tampering with the Americas, we're preventing reality from disrupting a good, ol' timey wank.

· Marilyn Monroe Unpublished Playboy Pics / Die unveröffentlichten Playboyfotos (nacktfotoparadies.blogspot.com)

Luckily, it does resemble porn in some important ways. For one: she's naked. Also: she's masturbating in a deliciously bubbly tub. As a matter of fact (spoiler alert!), she gets nailed in the following scene. But not in the good way. Someone busts in with a nailgun. It's a slasher film.

· "The Toolbox Murders" (1978) (imdb.com)
· The Toolbox Murders (celebcap.net)

Above, a clip from 1995's "French Twist," which has Ms. Abril flexing her her sexy-on-camera muscles with not one, but two people (of two different sexes!). Aspiring actresses, take note: if you'd like to reach the heights that Victoria Abril has attained...get ready to, ahem, try expanding your horizons.

· "French Twist" (imdb.com)
· Victoria Abril in "French Twist" (bzvideoclips.net)

This clip does nothing to satisfy our fantasies about Special Agent Dale Cooper handcuffing her to the bed. But that doesn't matter. All that matters is Sherilyn Fenn, her gorgeous breasts, and the not-so-subtle reference to "Porky's" in this scene.

· "Two Moon Junction (1988)" (imdb.com)
· Clip via Celebcap.net (celebcap.net)

· Pam Grier in "Friday Foster" (celebcap.net)

Also, Neda Arneric's work is impressive in its own way. How many girls are down to be a hostage on the condition that their captor first has sex with them? They'll have to change Stockholm Syndrome to Shaft Syndrome.

· "Shaft In Africa (1973)" (imdb.com)
· Clip via Celebcap.net (celebcap.net)

Observe: a clip of Ms. Bonet's sex scene from the 1987 classic, "Angel Heart." If you watch the entire movie, it gets a bit bloody...but for this short little bit, it's almost like we're watching "The Cosbys XXX: Denise, Denise, Denise!"

· "Angel Heart" (imdb.com)
· Lisa Bonet (bzvideoclips.net)

The second wonderful thing about "Jamon, Jamon" is that Penelope Cruz takes off her top in it. Though given that we're featuring this in our RetroNudity column, you probably figured that one out already.

· "Jamon, jamon" (imdb.com)
· Penelope Cruz in "Jamon, jamon" (more @ movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)

· Barbara Hershey in "Boxcar Bertha" (movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)

And not only was it her first nude scene (well, scenes—there's a lot of skin in this flick): it was her first film, period (Phoebe Cates doesn't waste time, people). If only more budding actresses could take a cue from Phoebe's career...get naked early on, and be a legend forever. (That's how it works, right?)

· "Paradise" (imdb.com)
· Phoebe Cates in "Paradise" (deepatseavideos.blogspot.com)

Yes, those beautiful, bouncing boobs sure do a number on us...if only modern day movies would devote this much screen time to such a moving event. Really, it would only strengthen the films. Any film. (Can you imagine how much better "No Country For Old Men" would have been with something like this?)

· "Ubalda, All Naked And Warm" (movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)

Is it just that Monica Bellucci is there with her tits out? We may never know the answer...but as long as we get to watch this clip over and over again, we'll be fine with that.

· "Dracula" (celebcap.net)

Nor, for that matter, was 1970's "Cannabis"—but since the film does feature several delicious scenes of Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbroug tangling limbs, we felt perfectly justified in posting a clip from it. Take a peek—and forget about whatever warnings that prude Surgeon General may have given you. This is some cannabis you'll want to inhale.

· "Cannabis" (imdb.com)
· "Cannabis" (movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)

Which is your favorite? Do you prefer the old school stylings of John and Yoko as shot by Annie Leibovitz? Or are you more into Terry Richardson's updated (and nippleful) version, with Sean as Yoko and Kemp taking the place of John?

We're leaning more towards the original—but as a general rule, we vastly prefer Annie Leibovitz to Terry Richardson.

· Sean Lennon And Nude Model Recreate John And Yoko (huffingtonpost.com)

As far back as "Porky's," Ms. Cattrall knew how to use her sex appeal to her advantage...and she's kept on keeping on, if you know what we mean. Above, a delicious scene from 1988's "Masquerade." (Many apologies for the Russian dubbing—just turn the sound down, and you'll be able to enjoy the boobtastic goodness in peace.)

· "Masquerade" (movienudescenes-thenakedgift.blogspot.com)