In this volume, starlets Alex Dupree, Bree Barrett, Andrea Wild, Bobbi Starr, and Audrey Elson continue the series tradition of featuring unsuspecting girls with a curious streak and a high pain threshold; given their pluck and talent it's even more disrespectful than usual that they're referred to as ho’s and tricks on the box cover. But we all know that such wordplay is common in porn as a device to further stroke the male performers' (and by extension the male viewers') egos, so maybe we shouldn't take it too seriously. Though we do have to ask: when you're possessed of a cock the size of a small fire hydrant as Diesel is, why do you need further ego stroking anyway?

Digital Sin’s "Stretched Out Snatch 8" hits the shelves this week.

• Digital Sin/New Sensations (newsensations.com; see "S.O.S. 8" .wmv trailer here)

Well, since we're here we might as well tell you that "Teens Like It Big" stars such convincing porn teens as Kacey Jordan, Madison Scott, Hailey Young, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Madison Ivy, and (most especially) Lexi Belle, all of whom prove in scene after smoldering scene that ... well, they really do like it big. Not just "a little oversized" or even "economy size"; we're talking like Billy Glide, fire hydrant, traffic cone big. Or pretty close, But yeah, big.

So what if the economy is a mess and our foreign policy is in turmoil and the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket? It's still nice to know that there are at least a few things you can count on—and that watching Lexi Belle have strenuous intercourse with a giant one eyed wonder worm happens to be one of them.

• Teens Like It Big (teenslikeitbig.com)
• Order: "Teens Like It Big" (adultdvdempire.com)

. . .

• Hustler (hustlerworld.com)

Except ... well, we really don't have that much more about to say about "It's Huge 15". If the title doesn't tell you what you can expect, you might as well go back to your grandad's stash of Playboys and start your porn education all over again. We can tell you that it stars Nikki Hilton (no relation to Paris—or to Nicky, for that matter) along with Tabitha James, Carmen Minor, Katrina Angel, and that rascally diva Bailey Brookes, all of whom spend their onscreen time in "It's Huge 15" (and, we presume, a good long time after filming was completed) dealing with the mutant giant-baby's-arm-holding-an-apple monstrosities that are Ramon and Shane Diesel's appendages.

And really, that's about it. Well, that and the fact that Tabitha James wears glasses which she keeps on during her scene, thus giving you an extra fetish bang for your buck if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, and that foot long submarine sandwiches have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the action.

So here are the pics. Just remember to keep breathing and relax. It'll stop hurting before you know it.

• "It's Huge 15" Trailer (.wmv video @ newsensations.com)
• VengeanceXXX (vengeancexxxdvd.com)

While we'd love to say that the folks at Vengeance XXX drew upon this illustrious creative lineage in producing "Beauties and the Beast 2". the fact is that this is not so much a sequel as a full-blown reimagining of the source material. To say the (very) least.

In fact, they don't even pretend that there's a story here: "Beauties and the Beast 2" merely cribs a famous title and goes straight to the meat of the matter by pitting Boz’s monstrous unit against the likes of hapless beauties Bella Ling, Alyssa Dior, Lana Violet, Britney Stevens, and Carmella Santiago. Who needs all that tedious expository dialogue anyway?

Nevertheless, "Beauties and the Beast 2" still functions as a sort of porn fairy tale by showing us that monsters really do exist ... and there really are beauties out there capable of taming them. In fact, everyone winds up with a happy ending after all—happy and sore, that is. But still happy!

• "Beauties and the Beast 2" (.wmv trailer @ newsensations.com)
• Vengeance XXX (vengeancexxx.com)
• Photos courtesy Digital Sin/New Sensations (newsensations.com)

In "Porn Stars Like It Big Volume 2", size queens Cody Lane, Memphis Monroe, Puma Swede, Brooke Belle, and Savannah Gold lay to rest the pleasant fantasy some men have that women don't care about size by riding some of the biggest meat in the industry; in true Brazzers style, the apparent size and heft of said meat is enhanced by the judicious use of certain camera angles, casting actresses with small hands, and plenty of exaggerated "omg I can't buh-LIEVE the size of that thing!" facial expressions all around just in case you didn't already realize that the meat in question is, in fact, pretty darn big.

No one said life was fair. Still, know that we love you no matter what you're packing.

· Order: "Porn Stars Like It Big Volume 2" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
· See also: Porn Stars Like It Big (paysite @ pornstarslikeitbig.com)

Beginning with the DVD cover, Digital Sin doesn't leave much to the imagination with the ninth installment of its "Monster Meat" compilation series, which is jam packed with "hardcore lovin'" ... not to mention Shane Diesel's intimidating genital ensemble (or as it's referred to in court, "'Exhibit A' Your Honor.'"

Despite our initial concern upon viewing the preview gallery, we have it on excellent authority that Chloe Chanel, Dana DeArmond, Jenny Hendrix, Lorena Sanchez, Kimberly Franklin, Crista Moore, Nicole Heiress, Delilah Strong, Sheila, Riley Evans, Sophia, Makili Chanel, and Mysti May were not harmed in any was during the filming of any of the twelve scenes contained in "Monster Meat 9"; in fact, all continue to enjoy their careers in adult entertainment. Whether or not any of them were able to sit down comfortably for several hours after filming, however, is another matter.

· Digital SIn's "Monster Meat" Series (Adult DVD Empire)

Whether you're a rocket scientist or not, Gina Lynn, Nikki Benz, Gianna Michaels, Carmella Bing, Shyla Stylez, Lichelle Marie, Sandra Romain, and Sienna West supply all the empirical evidence you need to show that porn stars really are different from the rest of us in their taste for outsized members (or not so different, if all of those Enzyte commercials are to be believed.) The skeptical among us may question whether their typically diminutive hands and mouths aren't skewing the data somewhat, but you can choose to believe whatever you want if it makes you feel better. We certainly are.

· Order: "Porn Stars Like It Big" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
· See also: Porn Stars Like It Big (paysite @ pornstarslikeitbig.com)

Micah Moore and Kylee King are both presented with something that, according to the title of this film, should be surprising. Yet I am not convinced that Kylee (left) is a stranger to monster dicks. Rather, her expression suggests even a studied annoyance with them, as if this one couldn't possibly hold any novelty for her, just jets of sperm. Only Micah remembers to Be Aware of Wonder in this movie with the almost-fit-to-print subheading "Assholes Destroyed by Monster Cocks". - GP

· Buy "Her First Monster Dick #2" (gamelink.com)
· MayhemXXX (mayhemxxx.com)

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive