Luckily, they break it down into specific categories: "Most-Ogled Boobs," "Soapy Boobs," and "Lesbo Boobs" are only a few of the Olympic arenas where breasts can compete for glory. But if you thought these choices were controversial, just imagine how much fuss there'll be when they name the Best Boobs of the Decade. Beware the Boob Riots of 2010.

· NUTS - Best boobs of the year (dailypoa.com)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

. . .

10.

Vortex Vibrations
All of our years hearing nightmarish urban legends about vacuum cleaner related masturbation deaths came to the fore when we stumbled across the Hoover of vibrators. Nevertheless, few things we've seen this year have made routine housework look so enticing.

9.

Jack Hammer Johnson
Not just the name of every guy trying to break into the business, this groundbreaking device (which was originally released back in 2006, though we didn't actually get our, uh, hands on one 'til this year) might also be pussy-breaking, as it's essentially comprised of a pogo stick and a dildo. Hell, we've been meaning to update that "Mustache Rides: $1" sign over our editor in chief's desk anyway.

8.

Incognito Tickling Dust Brush
Besides being one of the less subtly bizarre vibrator ideas of 2007, the best part of is that it's more than a household time-saver, it's also a snatch-powered homemaker's dream come true. If you don't mind the questionable safety, dust factor and possible jeopardy to said homemaker's respective orifii. But let's just say that between this and the Vortex Vibrator, the Fleshbot offices are sparkling.

7.

Five Finger Palm Harness
Talk to the hand, indeed. This hand-harness holds a dildo to the wearer's palm, guaranteeing that hilarity ensues next time you shake hands with your in-laws. Better yet, you can give a fuck of a high-five, do that one hand clapping thing that's supposed to be all Zen-like, and surely give one hell of a handjob.

6.

The Incredible Edible Anus
We can hear the jingle for this one already, though we doubt we'll be able to order this one at In N Out anytime soon. Not a sex toy per se, though if used properly on that first date you could get that cream pie you've always wanted.

5.

BodiTalk Escort
One of the best innovations of the year, O Mi Bod took their famous iPod vibe formula and applied it to phones: not a new idea by any means, but the execution gets a "10" for making sure there was something even dirtier to do with our iPhones and Helios in crowded elevators.

4.

Jingle Jugs
Do not overlook the power of the Jingle Jugs. Sure, they seem like the seasonal version of the Billy Big Mouth Bass we shudder to awaken by accident in Walgreens. But while the mighty Jugs look fit for the frat house and play a lame tune, savvy Jugsters can upgrade their wall-tits to play personalized messages or sound. And whose mom doesn't love dusting a flapping, noisy pair of boobies yelling the chorus to "Smack My Bitch Up"?

3.

Tuyo
This one's almost too beautiful, luxurious and high-class to have on a list like this; a gorgeous hard plastic, silicone, and stainless steel orb that vibrates on five different speeds seems like a piece of art. For your pussy gallery. Except many of us grew up frightened by movies like Phantasm, and just know that thing's going to chase us down and trepan our G-spots.

2.

Phallix' Dildo Bong
There's no specific reason we like this toy other than it's a water pipe that goes in your ass. Whose idea was it to smoke enema bubbles? Probably someone who was smoking some serious crack to begin with. (Also available in double dong version!)

1.

Delight
We had to put a real, functional, truly excellent and useful sex toy at the top of this list, or all our moms would be mad at us. Plus it's really a great vibrator, even if it looks like an alien fetus from Planet Poontang. We know, because that's where we're from, m'kay?

* * * * *

See also: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Previously: Fleshbot's Top Ten Sex Toys of 2006, Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

You might get the impression from reading Fleshbot regularly that the only things we care about are breasts, tits, boobs, jubblies, and funbags, when in actuality we're a lot more well-rounded than that: we're also interested in ass, booty, butts, tushies, and apple bottoms. Fortunately, the always perspicacious pervs at Zoo Magazine share our all-encompassing world view and follow up their 100 Sexiest Bodies and 100 Hottest Topless Pics roundups with a look at the world's—or at least the UK's—50 Sexiest Bums for 2007 (which we guess is equivalent to the 100 Best Ass Cheeks, so it's not like they're getting cheap on us or anything). While we appreciate their commitment to keeping track of these sorts of things, however, we have to say that their selection skews a bit too (bottom-)heavy towards the usual British glamour model suspects like Gemma Atkinson and Keeley Hazell and Michelle Marsh, which is to say that the list is pretty much overwhelmingly white and, you know, British. Surely there are plenty of other astounding asses out there who deserve our collective leers as well (hello, Keyra); let's hear about some of your favorites in the comments. Who knows? Maybe we'll be able to convince them to publish a supplement before the years is up.

· Zoo Magazine's Top 50 Best Bums (ko5.blogspot.com)

Previously: SexyBubble Vs. Bri: Battle Of The Booty, In Search Of Ele: The New Mystery Booty?, Azz Valley Dispatch: "Tappin' Dat Phat Taco", Site De Cul, Ass Aficionado, Thongs, Thongs, Thongs!, Bundablog, Grand Fessier: French Amateur Asses, Pendejastop, Booty Shake Blog, Mark's Butt Page, 100 Sexiest Bodies

It's that time of the month again: time to see what our anonymous, horny, lonely, depressed, happy, horny, angry, frustrated, confused, and horny friends are up to in the personals section at Craigslist. Did we mention horny? That's to be expected though, because when you consider all their myriad personal problems—old age, blue balls, misogyny, excess flatulence, the Atlantic Ocean—it's a wonder anyone ever gets laid. It's gotten so bad even turtles are turning to the internet for help now. Go ahead and look ... you know you want to.

- - -

The Best of the "Best of Craigslist"

· I'm Done With Ya, Bitches (Boston)

Blowjobs & handjobs

should be sloppy, noisy, and willing to finish the job. Not this "suck suck, oh my jaw" crap. I made sure to learn how to give good head. I give DAMN good head. I'm not afraid of your bodily fluids. I dive in and grab a snorkel if I need air. Let go of this bullshit femenist rhetoric and learn to worship the cock or become a lesbian.

- - -

· RANT: Middle-Aged Women complaining about sex! (Chicago)

Well ladies, the shoe is on the other foot and guess what? I'm tired!!! I'm tired from sheer exhaustion of chasing your cock teasing ass for the last 25 years!!!! Constantly, going home with "blue balls" and "whacking off" because you want me to "respect you in the morning"!!!! Well guess what years of cock abuse has done to my sex drive?!!!!

- - -

· I quit Cold turkey (Portland)

I quit masturbating last week, and I'm not Mormon.


Soak that in a second.

- - -

· So Here's The Situation (Toronto)

It wasn't until we went to a bathroom stall to makeout that my secret slipped out. There he was one hand on my breast, and the other on my left ass cheek, and I let out this unbelievably loud fart, and he opened his eyes, stepped back, and passed out. My farting can interfere with sex too. I mean think about it, there you are taking me from behind, when all of a sudden, you hear this Tuba-like sound coming out of my ass, and there it is for you, the Chili we had at dinner.

- - -

· 143 Reasons That I Will Be The Best Girlfrie0nd You've Ever Had (San Francisco)

57. I'm not opposed to having a hump-session anytime anywhere.

58. I don't want you to spoon me everynight

59. I like you to poke me in the butt in the morning

- - -

· My Turtle Needs A Booty Call (Boston)

So I guess we're kind of talking about casual sex here but I promise that my turtle could give your turtle more respect and pleasure than the average "special friend."

- - -

· Dear, guy masturbating in the bathroom stall at my work... (Philadelphia)

Did you not hear me open the door? Did you not hear me pull the ass gasket from the holder, tear off those 3 annoying pieces that hold the center in place, and sit down? Good god man, another man is taking a shit not 8 feet away from you. Shouldn't that take the bloom off the rose, so to speak?

- - -

The Rest of Craigslist (These posts expire after one week, though we try to preserve the entire message for posterity.)

· to that special girl from Germany that i cant have - m4w (Washington, DC)

all i know is that i want to touch your whole body! if you ever read this i will be embaraced............ oh and i dont care about your boyfriend in germany, and i hope you dont mind my recent past. seriously if i cant have you thats fine, but i still have my memories.

that was all so long ago............................ lets do it in the car in the rain again! every night with you in paris was enjoyable to the extreme, it was perfect enough for anything and there you went between these fingers. i should have made you mine on the new year!

- - -

· Lookin' to sniff out sweaty pits, balls and feet (Washington, DC)

masc bi dude that gets turned on by a dudes musky sweaty pits, balls and feet of suit & tie types and big plus are blue collar dudes that wear construction boots and sweaty socks. You need to be in-shape, n/s and d/df...masc discreet only (str8/bi) and discretion a must.

- - -

· RE: Anyone Know where I can get my penis tattooed (New York)

If you have a nice sized cock come over to my place, I have a killer set of crayola markers and I majored in Art....like horses???

- - -

· RE: Anyone Know where I can get my penis tattooed

email me after you have it done!

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Craigslist Archive

We know you're thinking you've seen this all before, but you'll just have trust us when we say that you haven't. We're well aware of British lad mags' general fondness (and Nuts magazine's in particular) for lists and any other excuse they can come up with to show hot totty, but they've outdone themselves with this week's collection of Britain's 50 Best Boobs. (Shouldn't it actually be 100? But we digress.) First of all, (nearly) all the participants had to submit ample evidence of their bare breasts—it's the only way to make sure they're judged accurately. Second, there's quite a few beauties in this issue that haven't been brought to our attention before. (Natasha Mealey, anyone?) Finally, in a stunning turn of events, the No. 1 slot does not go to Keeley Hazell, but instead belongs to her Page 3 Idol successor Sam Cooke. We're not sure how that happened, but there's no reason to get worked up about it. Once you've seen the nominees, we think that you'll agree that they're all winners.

· Britain's 50 Best Boobs 2007 (scans @ ko5.blogspot.com)

Previously: Maxim UK's Girls of 2007, Meet Tanya Robinson, Nuts' "Babes In The Bath", 100 Hot Footballer's Wives, Meet Sam Cooke: Page 3 Idol, Sophie Howard Makes Her Move, Zoo's 100 Hottest Topless Pics of 2006, Meet Bianca Gascoigne, Leeann Tweeden and FHM's Last Gasp, Totty Tributes

Once again it's time to swim through the churning sea of humanity known as Craigslist to learn what sort of sexual tempests our brothers and sisters have been caught up in lately. Looking deep into the soul of mankind is never easy ... but it's often hilarious. This month: a young man pleads for his life, a lesbian changes teams, playas get hated, the unfortunately-named Paco gets into some hot water ... and we finish it off with the kind of personals ad that Craigslist was made for. (Shout if you love to EAT ASS!) Catch 'em before they disappear!

- - -

The Best of the "Best of Craigslist"

· No more sex. Please. (San Francisco)

The first 2 days just about killed me, but for the first time in my life I was satisfied. Given my sex drive I thought that maybe I had had a stroke somewhere in the 40 hrs of damn near continuous sex. But I'm a gentleman, so I gave you another 20. But now that we're working on 4 days here I'm starting to panic. It's like I'm being taught some kind of horrible lesson, but I can only pray that I'm dreaming.

- - -

· 10 Reasons to Date a Lesbian (San Diego)

5. I don't call myself bisexual. Bi chicks have a reputation for cheating on their husbands and being incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships with women. It may be a generalization, but I've met enough of them to know that I don't ever want to date one or to be called one. It's just not my style.

6. You never have to wonder if I slept with that other guy. I didn't.

- - -

· You Might Be Fucking My Roommate, but... (Milwaukee)

Fucking in our common areas. The only reason I know this shit goes on is because I've found the condom wrappers in very odd locations. There's nothing I can do about this, but it creeps me out to think about where either your or her ass has been. If I knew you were both clean and conscious individuals, this might be an area of negotiation, but I know her habits. I've seen glimpses into yours. Do what you want in the shower. Otherwise, stay in her room, I beg you.

- - -

The Rest of Craigslist (These posts expire after one week, though we try to preserve the entire message for posterity.)

· Rant No Dick for Me Tomorrow AM (Northern Virginia)

Hmm so one of my favorite tricks who up and got married contacted me yesterday and he wanted some head and ass action. We made plans to meet tomorrow AM at my place before work and he had to cancel. Seems his new nosey wife installed tracking software on their home computer and busted him. Hmm missing that dick......

- - -

· RANT: I can't stop fantasizing about my boss (Boston)

I really can't stop fantasizing about my bosss...it's a fun little fantasy, but really inappropriate! He's not my direct boss, rather he's the CEO, so I guess he's my bosses boss (they're just about equals, though). I generally don't have a thing for older men, but he is really handsome and a nice guy. He always has a big smile and a hello for me...the other day he told me that he wishes the company were filled with more of me because he likes how I get things done...yeah, that lent itself to about a half an hour of me closing my office door and getting all wet...Trying not to think about it is just not working. I'm a happily involved girl, but I suppose indulging in a little fantasy to keep boredom away never hurt anyone...

- - -

· Re : RANT Now I understand.....the oral sex thing (San Franciso - East Bay)

My wife and I have been arguing about this for the last three days now. I want her to give me head and she says "I'm not even interested in being interested in giving you head". Yes, you read that correctly. She said "Im not even interested in being interested"!

That really hurt my feelings. I am very clean and smell good and it really kills me to see women on this forum who talk about men who are in it for themselves. I will eat my wife and send her straight to heaven anytime she wants, but God forbid that I want to get head once or twice a month !

I'm even starting to think that maybe I should get a divorce, after 11 years of marriage. I feel like I cant take being deprived much more. Two of the most important things to me are getting head, and secondly, her cooking for me. I do most of the cooking, but it would be nice if she would take interest. I dont think that my wife gives a shit about pleasing her man, but then she gives me two pages of shit that she is expecting from me.

This is SO unfair! I believe that I am a good man and I deserve to get some head ! I give much, and I should get much back.

- - -

· why do fat chicks like it anal? cuz it's tight? (New York)

Why do fat chicks always pretend they are virgins in the ass department and then I slam my meat into them and they just beg for more and to do it harder and harder.

It is major work to please a fat chick and one that loves the anal ca bob.

so question: Do fat chicks take it up the butt in a disproportionate amount and does this have anything to do with their support of Hillary Clinton?

- - -

· To the players out there: what's the point of fucking all these women? (Los Angeles)

So I am a guy, 28, serial monogamist, I like falling in love with a woman, becoming close to her, becoming comfortable enough with her to be myself, sharing experiences, learning a new take on things, just hanging out together like best friends who are also tender with each other. I guess that makes me a bit of a pussy, but I'm with a girl now, she's in the same profession, she's my best friend, and we will be getting married in the next few years. Even if this doesn't work, I'll porbably just go out and find another companion.

I have had a few one night stands, and some short fucking relationships as well, but I just found them unsatisfying. There's the thrill of victory, but everything else is subpar - you have to wear condoms, it's a bit awkward, you don't really enjoy each other as people so all the time spent outside of sex isn't that great, you have to watch what you say or else you forfeit the sex, in short, you're playing the game, not being yourself, and it's tiresome and uncomfortable.

So what's the big thrill of nailing one chick after another and moving on? I mean, they all have the same holes, don't they? How different can it be after the 100th one? You're just going through the same motions, or with slight variation, on each date, each pick up. Is there much variety in bed? Do you get to do everything you want?

What's the attraction? Is it just the ego boost that comes from knowing that you can get into their pants? But this isn't even that much of a victory anymore, they are as horny as we are, so who's fucking who? It seems so strange and obligatory, to perform this sexual act with every stranger you can, like a ritual of some kind.

- - -

· Ladies, just because I get you off.....multiple times..... (Seattle)

Doesn't mean I love you or are in love with you. It just means I care about getting you off. I care because I have heard too many times "that hasn't happened in a really long time" and "Nobody has ever done that before". It breaks my heart and kills me to hear things like this.

Guys WTF? you're making us look bad. Not to mention makes it hard for guys like me to just have a little fun.....they always get so clingy when you get them off. Personally I like it. Making a woman climax is almost as good as climaxing myself.

- - -

· Warning! Ladies if you slep with PACO (Los Angeles)

If any lady here slep with PACO in the last 2 years, you better get tested.

- - -

· Re: Warning! Ladies if you slep with PACO (Los Angeles)

Uh, seriously, who would be dumb enough to sleep with anyone by such a stupid name as Paco?

Who would also be stupid enough to have unprotected sex, especially with a dork named Paco?

If you're dumb enough to sleep with someone by such a stupid name, sans condom, you deserve your diseases.

- - -

· LOVES TO EAT FEMALE ASS!!! - m4w (Toronto - with pictures!)

THIS AD IS VERY SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT!!! I LOVE TO EAT FEAMLE ASS!!!! FOR THOSE WHO LOVE IT BEING DONE TO THEM, THIS AD IS FOR YOU!! TOO ASHAMED TO SAY ANYTHING?....BOYFRIEND OR HUBBY WON'T DO IT!!! HERE I AM!! ATTRACTIVE, LIGHT SKINNED BKACK MALE FOR YOUR PLEASURE...NO $$$...WOMEN ONLY...JUST LIE BACK AND ENJOY!!! REPLY WITH PICS IF POSSIBLE.

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Craigslist Archive

We talked it over with our therapist and he says we're doing very well. So well, in fact, that he tells us we're finally ready to re-enter society ... the society of mental and sexual depravity that is Craigslist. You see, wading into the mire of Rants and Raves, Casual Encounters, and Missed Connections can be fun&mdas;but spend too much time in there, and it can become a brutally violent beatdown on one's psyche. We have the emotional scars to prove it, but after taking a much needed break to pull ourselves together, it's time to resurrect this semi-regular feature and pull back the covers on the worst best the classified interweb giant has to offer. We're ready for you, CLers. Bring it on!

- - -

The Best of the "Best of Craigslist"

· There's A Banana In The Tailpipe (Washington, DC)

Slowly, I get it deeper. Then, as I begin to make some real progess, the weirdest thing happens: I begin to feel like a slut. And I like it. My slutty instincts taking over, I realize I need a better angle if I'm going to get this bad boy all the way in me. I roll back onto my shoulders so my ass is sticking straight up and it helps. And of course, this position makes me feel even more slutty. This is weird. This is awesome. I realize that if I was a woman, I would likely be the biggest slut on the planet and I would love it. I strain and grunt, trying to shove this giant banana into my ass. By way of historical context, I will note that I have enjoyed having a few girlfriends who diddled around down there while giving me head (ladies, in case you didn't notice, it felt _good_), and have even done the same while beating off. But this was a whole different ballgame. It hurt. It required serious concentration to keep the door open and relaxed. I began to have some genuine admiration for those pornstars and their amazing sphincter control. And as a result of my competitive nature, I was compelled to get that damn thing in. The more I pushed, the further it moved in, and the sluttier I felt, and the more it hurt.

- - -

· Missing: 10 panties of various colors/states of disrepair (San Francisco)

(1) Disgruntled and mistreated, my underwear decided it was time to run away from home. If this was the case, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were so upset. I miss you and the way you always kept me warm and safe. You made me feel comfortable in your soft, cotton embrace. I tried to be fair, changing my underwear everyday so that each of you could feel wanted. Perhaps it wasn't enough. I have asked the two panties that remained behind why you all left, but neither of them is saying a word.

- - -

· re: I think it's hot - 28m (Detroit)

Surprise somebody! Figure out how to be interesting without getting into every position you've ever seen in all your pornos, every single time you have sex because you know what happens when you do all those positions every time? They get boring. Predictable. Do something else! Here's some help: women have thighs, areas behind the knees, shoulders, backs, toes, tops of the feet, forearms, hips, wrists, ankles, outer sides of the breasts, hair, butt cheeks that are good for more than smacking. There's a backside to that neck and it's a lot more sensitive than the right and left sides.

- - -

· Thank you for folding my laundry, please stop having sex. (Los Angeles)

Now recently I've noticed a man that made my high school geometry teacher look like Don Juan parking behind your car in our lot. He terrifies me and tucks his t shirts into his khaki pants that are hiked way too high up on his twinkie loving gut. The image of you two in the same room haunts me, but please... Please... For the love of Sweet Baby Jesus... STOP fucking him when I'm home too!!

- - -

· Casual Definitions Of Casual Sex (San Francisco)

However, for the meek at heart, beware. These are the realtionships where fetishes, fanatsies, and pure unadulterated hedonsim occurs, and it's expected. This is the time for her to try drinking the blood from a wound on your lower belly while she jerks you off, because those bloody vampire movies tunr her on in a way she's not ready to deal with. This is the time he'll be into trying threesomes, or more. Do not be offended if he wants to share you, you are his favorite toy, and it's a mark of honor that he's comfy with it. Indulge.

- - -

· Oh, the men I have met off CRAIGSLIST... (San Francisco)

I'm well dressed, play a little guitar, always drama free, and am friendly. and...I'M SINGLE AND I WISH I WASN'T!! ...

A friend of mine met a pretty impressive nsa buddy on Craigslist, and I figured "Well, Try everything once right?" nope.. WRONG! ONCE TURNED INTO ME BECOMING A TOTAL CL CE ADDICT!! ...

26) STEVE: Army boy. Why did you want me to pee on you so bad? Sorry man, wasn't into it. You did know how to go down on a girl though! After a while, you got upset that I wouldn't pee on you and dropped me like I was hot.

- - -

The Rest of Craiglist (These posts expire after one week.)

The San Francisco mayoral sex scandal, deconstructed. You can't find solid political analysis like this just anywhere.

· Gavin scores lots of hot ass, why should he go to rehab? (San Francisco)

He's rich, powerful, partying it up, knocking back cocktails, and best of all, every night he's balls deep in hot poon! Good on ya, Gav! I'd be doing the exact same thing if I were a big city mayor

- - -

· Credit Cards and Prostitution (Montreal)

In Canadian jurisprudence, prostitution isn't really illegal; it's the communication that is illegal. Mind you, trying to get people to become prostitutes or importing individuals to work as prostitutes etc. is quite heavily punished (see s.212, mentioned earlier). The reason why prostitution isn't legal in Canada is because it doesn't need to be. 98+% of prostitutes are not of the street-walking variety that arouses the ire of the public. Most work in brothels or for organized call-girl (or call-boy) services. As long as the exploitation isn't too extreme and the attempts at solicitation aren't too obvious —

The fact that prostitution remains illegal is not because of crooked politics or payoffs or Hollywood-style back-room shenanigans.

- - -

· Older women are like mustard (Manhattan)

Older women are like mustard: there's a time and place for mustard, but not everywhere (i.e.: ice-cream). Quite a few times I have fucked older women When I was 16 my girl friend at the time was 24, When I was 26 I was fucking a 47 year old broad. I would date women my age, but they were bland in bed, probably because of inhibition. Older women love boy-toys, they lose their inhibitions, and they want to teach them some. Now that I am 44, and my girlfriend is a 25, I find it gross to touch a woman who is 40 or older than that! YUK! Not to mention all the fucking emotional baggage they come with. I prefer fucking 20-something women, they are firm and fresh.There you have it! Older women are GREAT when you are young, once you get to be a bit older, they are fucking gross!

- - -

· Turning out straight girls (Seattle)

I'm wildly attracted to a woman whom I don't have anything in common with, and she identifies as straight. From the time we first met, I felt an incredible physical/chemical attraction between us, but found it nearly impossible to talk to her. We've become friends, I've made it happen. The more I learn about her, the more evident it seems to me that she is attracted to women. She will never say it, but all the signs are there. I've put my lust on the shelf so that I could be her friend. I'll admit that I had alterior motives before, but now I just want to be her friend. I feel like she needs my friendship, someone to show her that it's okay, whatever "it" may be. I hope that someday she can be happy. I am endlessly fascinated by this woman. Her beauty, talents, mystery. It would be a huge waste for her to never truly know herself. Besides, I feel I'd finally be able to look her in the eyes if I could have just one kiss. I don't know if the attraction is reciprocated. I'm afraid I'll become too obvious and blow my cover. I am completely enthralled and confused. She's brilliant, and I think she's onto me. I think she likes the attention, I think she likes that she makes me nervous, and can disarm my facade of arrogants with the slightest smirk.

* * * * *

Previusly: Listpic: Craigslist Picture Viewer, Scandal!: The Craigslist Experiment

Even though we're all about looking forward to what lies ahead in the new year this week (and while we're on the subject of magificent mammaries today), we can't help but fondly recall some of the things that made 2006 so memorable—like the dozens of hyperendowed hotties in the galleries that comprise Big Boobs Alert's roundup of (surprise) the Best Big Boobs of the previous twelve months. Then again, can you blame us for clinging so enthusiastically to the past? After all, given all those acres of areolas on display, there's certainly a hell of a lot to hold on to.

· Best Big Boobs of 2006 (bigboobsalert.com)
· Thumbnail via VIPCrew.com

Previously: Mastasia: (Very) Big Boob Fantasies, The Page Of Boobs, DVD: "Juggernauts", Gianna in "My First Porn 7", Booby Fever, Boob News @ Bakunyuu Dialog, Boob-U-Mentary, Federal Boob Investigation, Busty Webshots

On the off chance you missed the one about the Venus Vagina Smoke treatment, penis pumping assholes, or the unfortunate brother/sister naked Twister incident, we've poured through our archives for a special year-end edition of our Best of Sex Advice feature. Not only does this stuff make for killer New Year's party banter, but we have it on excellent authority that the online sex advice explosion was a deciding factor in that whole "You-are-the-TIME-person-of-the-year" hoo-haw.

Whether it was naive, illuminating, vulgar, wise, misguided, or just plain stupid, you'll find our cream of the crop for 2006 after the jump.

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Nerve.com, Miss Information

Don't worry about whether it's normal. There's no entry for that word in the dictionary of sex. That page was ripped out long ago and used by some guy to wipe monkey semen off his rubber thong

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AskIsadora.com, Ask Isadora

In response to the man whose wife doesn't like for him to tickle her feet: I, too, have a foot tickling fetish. I have been married for 14 years and lived with my wife for four years before that. I tickle her feet every day. Can you imagine having your feet tickled every day for the past 18 years? Anyway, your suggestion of a horse trade is brilliant. I do that with my wife all the time. Once a month I take her to the nail salon for a pedicure. She loves the attention she gets at the salon. I even pay the girl extra if she tickles my wife's feet. On the way home I have my wife sit in the back seat with her feet on the arm rest of the front seat and tickle her feet all the way home. We also place bets with each other: if she wins she gets to do whatever she wants to me; if I win, I get to tickle her feet for 5 minutes. My wife is always late for everything. If I tell her she has to be ready at a certain time and she is late I tickle her feet 1 minute for every 2 minutes that she is late. Maybe this is a system to help this poor guy out.

- - -

The Stranger, Savage Love:

No disrespect to sperm licker-uppers or urine drinkers everywhere, but it's entirely possible that the president can be counted among their number. A person's political leanings, competence, and command of the English language tell us very little about their sexual conduct. Indeed, one study in the mid-'90s found that conservatives were kinkier than liberals. And as we've seen time and again, folks who bitch about the sexual perversions of others are frequently perverse motherfuckers themselves. Which means it's possible that the president licks Dick Cheney's sperm off the ground three times a week, and that you, Mike, long to drink a tall, warm glass of Bill Frist's urine. You just never know

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Redbook, Let's Talk About Sex:

I have a serious problem! Recently my husband has been all over me in front of our 16-year-old son. In full view of our son, my husband will squeeze my breasts, my butt, etc. Yesterday he reached up my mini skirt and pulled my thong down to my knees. My son was so embarrassed he was almost in tears. How do I deal with the newfound attention and affection that I get from my husband, which I love and which has vastly improved our sex life, while saving my son from the embarrassment?

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AskMen.com, Ask Damien:

I always wanted to experiment with putting liquids in my rear; is this unsafe or risky? The kinds of liquids I had in mind would be like lotion, baby oil or condiments like vinegar, barbeque sauce, ketchup, olive oil, or a tiny bit of Tabasco sauce (just to feel what its like). Do you have any comments on this?

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Dear Amy, Sex Advice for the Modern Player:

How can you tell if he likes you? Here are some investigative techniques for you to use:

1. Next time you take a shower, leave the door open. Does he walk in? Does he check you out while pretending to brush his teeth or pee? These are signs he may be attracted to you. (Does he ask you to keep the door closed in the future? Be a polite roommate and do as you're asked.)

2. Jerk off on the living room couch at a time when you know he's going to come in to watch tv. Apologize profusely when you're "discovered." Does he seem aroused, or just annoyed? If he's annoyed, don't ever do it again. But if he's aroused, hey...

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Council of the 12 Apostles, Steps in Overcoming Masturbation:

In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called "aversion therapy". When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

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Time Out New York, Get Naked:

I recently took advantage of a unique opportunity to share an intimate weekend with an ex-boyfriend's father. What struck me most about the experience was how remarkably similar the penises of father and son were. Both grew from about 2.5 inches soft to 7.5 inches hard. Both had the same thin shaft with the same mushroom-shaped head. Both had the same Ping-Pong-size balls. So my question is: Does a son always inherit his penis entirely from his father? While I've never seen my own dad hard, I know our soft cocks look pretty similar. Is a well-endowed man guaranteed to pass on to his son his due birthright? Or should he ask his bride's father for some sort of proof that the family jewels won't be squandered or diluted? What a way to nurture a meaningful relationship with one's father-in-law!

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iafrica.com, love & sex advice:

Is you nose, sinus somehow linked to your sexual organ (penis). I read this article in the newspaper, called sex slave, where a couple used vaigra, and one of the side effects of this drug is that it builds up mucas and the nostril was called a secondary sexual organ. Whenever I climax, my nose tends to close up, and I always thought it was because of the intensity of my orgasm. Is the female also linked in this manner, if it is linked some how?

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Love Talk Forums, Sexual Q&A:

im just worried about going to my mom about getting on birth control b/c shes the kind of mom who thinks that i shouldnt be having sex until after im married!. but my friend's mom has gotten her daughter and like 8 of her friends on perscription birth control and im wondering if i should go to her and ask her if she can do the same thing for me

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askkrista.com, Ask Krista:

I have visited your site today as i have some question. I am a boy from india & soon going to marry. I want to ask that my wifes vagina is very dark in colour & the rest part of her body is very fair. Please provide us your suggestion to lighten the colour of her vagina.

Can she use bleach at vaginal part?

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Time Out New York, Get Naked:

Ever since a recent colonoscopy, I've become obsessed with the deep pleasure that a high colonic can provide. I've improvised a shower device using a turkey baster and some rubber hosing that works quite well, provided your sphincter's in good shape. While my orgasms have taken on a new and astonishing power, I find myself disinterested in what had been my regular sexual pursuits. Although I've opted for full disclosure, my girlfriend is dismayed, our sex has become lackluster, and the tub of bleaching instruments on the bathroom floor is a bit of an eyesore

- - -

Caned In Totnes, Ask Dr. Hump:

There comes a time when every girl will invite you to a fish supper feast with the tang of the sea and plenty of batter. The rule goes like this:

If your snogging is crap
You'll never get a flap snack
If you are an excellent kisser
You'll be fine at licking her pisser

The principles to muff diving are essentially the same as French kissing on the lips, I'm sure you'll be fine my lad. Enjoy your fur burger and remember, if you do a good job then she'll let you progress to 4th base in no time.

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My Messy Bedroom, Dear Josey

When I called the spa, a lovely woman named Ildi explained that the Venus Vagina Smoke was a part of their two hour Balinese beauty ritual, usually reserved for brides-to-be and apparently quite the rage in the spa world these days. The woman sits naked in a chair with a hole in the seat while a bowl of seeds and herbs is burned under the hole. The smoke that wafts up into her vagina is meant to stimulate and disinfect the region so she'll be all randy and, I guess, er, disinfected for her big night.

- - -

Puckerup.com, Anal Advisor

My boyfriend and I recently discovered the pleasure of penis pumping, and I'm thinking of getting a vaginal pump. But lately I have been using my guy's penis pump on my asshole, and I love the sensation and the feeling. I was wondering if you have ever done this, and if it is a safe practice?

- - -

The Stranger, Savage Love

I'm a newly lactating woman who would like to recoup some of the many expenses associated with having a child. I'm wondering if there are places that sell human breast milk to fetishists (I'm sure they're out there). I looked online but couldn't find anything. Also, is there any reason I'd be arrested for doing this?

- - -

Literotica.com, Ask Aspasia:

I have a very unique problem. I am a 22-year-old man with a very high sex drive; however, I seem to find vaginas very unappealing. Just the sight of them makes me want to cringe. I find I cannot touch them except with my penis (which sometimes even takes a force of will), and I certainly cannot give a girl any oral pleasure.

Here is where it gets tricky. I am 100% heterosexual. I find women incredibly attractive, and I am no different from any other man in that respect. I have absolutely no attraction to men whatsoever. After deep introspection I have concluded that I am not gay, but if I were, I would not have a problem with it. In fact I almost wish I were gay, but I tried that and I have found that homosexuality is definitely not a choice. Vaginas are very disgusting to me, even by sight alone. I don't know what to do. I can't seem to have a healthy sexual life, and most likely cannot please anyone but myself during sex because of my problem. What can I do?

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Scarleteen.com, Infection Section:

I was told that swallowing the male's ejaculation (cum) will increase the breast size of women. This came from my European friends, many years ago. What is your opinion?

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Salon.com, Sex Advice From Guitar Gods (CC DeVille):

For me, making love is better. I get more out of it. Something could be said for just plain fucking the person you love. Sometimes if I'm in a lovely-dovey mood, before you know it my girlfriend is putting my face in the toilet and saying, "Get out of the freaking mood, man! I want to fuck like a pig now! Put on your rubber dress again!" "Yes, mom." If you're with the person you love, it's all good...

If you're going to base a relationship on sex, there's no substance there. The thing is, I'm learning too, so I don't want you to think that I'm coming from this grand wisdom. These are just things that I'm actually thinking about because I'm sober. As opposed to, "Oh no, I stink 'cause I'm fucking high and it didn't occur to me to shower, but it's okay because Jim Morrison stunk. Now suck my dick." That's kind of gross. A lot of this rock star shit is just an excuse to be a pig. The only reason I know that is because I did it.

- - -

Muslim Wake Up!, Relationships & Sexuality:

I don't even want to be an imam, so my nearly monastic lifestyle is a bit much. How can a cute, fun, smart Muslim rebel find someone without putting my standards six feet under?

- - -

Time Out Chicago, In & Out:

My girlfriend lives out of town and we see each other every few weeks. She enjoys performing oral sex on me and swallowing my semen. One night, while talking long-distance, she suggested that I masturbate in her absence, and collect and freeze my loads in a jar for her to swallow the next time she was in town. I thought she was kidding, but thought, "Why not?" I got a small glass jelly jar, washed it out thoroughly and got to work. After each shot, I would replace the jar in the freezer. My question is: Are there any health issues we should worry about? I have been tested and have no STIs or HIV, and I do not have sex with others. I've tried Internet research, but as far as I know, we've hit on a unique sex practice here. I worry about spoilage and bacteria. I know this is pretty far out, but she gets so turned on by the practice, and I get so turned on seeing her get so turned on by it.

- - -

Philadelphia City Paper, Paper Doll

Assholes never lie, and the fact that Ex's was all clenched up meant it wasn't ready. "Wait until his mangina winks at you," advises one gay buddy. "You gotta coax it open before you can dive in."

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AllSexAdvice.com, Expert Advice:

I have never had a woman sit on my face. Not just sit on it, try to sufficate me with her twat. I ask my current GF if she's ever done it and she said with her ex. At first, I thought cool, she has experience! But when she did it, it was sort of a disappointment. Not because of her, she did it really well for a first attempt. How was she supposed to know I wanted her to try to kill me with it?

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Nerve.com, Miss Information:

Know that just as bad as the two-pump chump is the guy who treats his girl's orgasm like it's a lifesaving mission to find her a kidney.

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AskMen.com, Dr. Zimmer:

A few years ago, when my brother's daughter reached puberty, his wife decided the best way to educate young girls not to be tempted to have premarital sex and risk pregnancy is for parents to demonstrate to them how to satisfy themselves and their prospective partners via mutual masturbation when they are unclothed. He tells me that it seems to have worked wonderfully well. I'd like to see another point of view on this because our eldest daughter has just reached puberty, and my husband is not so sure about this.

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IsItNormal.com, Sex:

is it normal to want your partner to dress up as a subway train operator and have them yell out stuff such as "next station is ____!" and other such things while you have sex... keep in mind that such person does that for a living in the real world...

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Go Ask Alice, Dear Alice:

i am a fifteen-year-old male. in recent years, i have developed a slightly large penis. it isn't huge, only about 7.5 inches hard. the problem is that when limp, it is noticeable through my pants. Sometimes, i am accused of having erections when i do not have them and it is embarrassing when that happens at school. also, at places where that is very unacceptable, like family functions and work. wearing briefs isn't an option because they are constrictive. if i wear baggy pants(which isn't really my style), that helps a little, but then i really do get erections too easily since there isn't anything putting up any resistance. what i really need to know is if there is a comfortable way to hide it that i have not thought of.

p.s.: please nothing involving tape. it pulls off hairs when i take it off, but it does seem to hide it well when it's taped to my leg.

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About.com, Sex Advice:

While our parents were out of town, my brother and I had a party that at the end of the night, the few people left and my brother and I, somehow were then in a game of nude twister. Gasp*

Well, anyway it was an erotic feeling to be doing it, and I was having fun up until the point where it got weird. I was in a spot where my brother was leaning over me while was on my knees and stretched forward, and then another person over him. I could feel his flaccid penis rub against my behind at times, which was unavoidable. I could see it if I looked down between my legs that his penis was getting erect.

It became fully erect after a few more moves, and was pressed on my behind. Then while making a move the person over my brother fell, and they both went on top of me. My brother's penis slipped inside of me, and was there just for a few seconds until they both got up. He just got up as it pulled back out. I'm not sure if he knows it went there.

Should I tell him? It is on my mind and I'm thinking getting it overwith by talking to him, and finding out if he knows or not would get me over it.

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Ask The Couch, Dear Couch:

I am living with my ex-husband. He tells me that he is not interested in sex and describes it as " disgusting and gross" . Recently I found a bottle of liquid incense. The front of the bottle read " jungle juice" . What is this used for? The other night he came home drunk with a friend-a man I had never met. He took off his pants and started dancing in a pair of speedo underwear. All of this strange behaviour is causing me to think that he could possibly be gay.

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Sex Project.com, Alternative Sexuality:

What does someone mean when they describe themselves as like an energy vampire? When they claim they feel they get energy from their sexual partner when that partner comes and that they return it when they come themselves? BTW, this may be related specifically to oral sex - or not, I'm not sure.

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JewishWebsight.com, Kosher Sex:

What are the proper positions for having relations with your wife, also i heard that one is suuppose to hold her ankle aand put his hand on her ear or something?

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Masturbation Forum, Male Masturbation:

About 1 year ago my **** size was about 7.5 inches long fully erected and now it is 6 inches long fully erected.

I know i did it with it fully erected and i used the same ruler at both of the times.

Is this normal or am i just really unlucky?

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Nerve.com, Miss Information:

You don't ask an anorexic for a pecan-pie recipe, and you don't go to your ex-wife for dating advice.

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puckerup.com, Open Up:

I read one of those stories in a really old Penthouse Forum: A guy takes a stick of butter and carves down one end to make it pointy, then sticks it up a girl's butt, and then humps her butt.

This idea really turned me on. (Wonder if that story was inspired by Last Tango in Paris?) But I am not sure if it's safe.

I understand that stuff you stick in your butt can be absorbed into your body, so it seems like a bad idea to stick that much fat, cholesterol, whatever is in a whole stick of butter or margarine into your body...

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Cuckoldplace.com, Forums:

Has anybody taken a parent with them on their honeymoon, to share her? Heard many stories of a mother or father joining a couple on their honeymoon,but have allways wondered if it was for a threesome at Hedoism or something like like. Thw wife allways seemed to be very fond of her dad,but I don't think he ever fucked her,as far as I know.

* * * * *

As we bid a bittersweet farewell to 2006—it was, after all, the year that Britney Spears' crotch got us kicked off SiteMeter, surely one of our proudest achievements ever—we cast a jaded yet affectionate eye on the stacks of porn screeners towering atop every available level surface here at Fleshbot Central and remember that even if bald celebrity pussy makes our virtual turnstiles rattle, people still, by and large, prefer actually jerking off to DVDs. But how to best budget your precious masturbatory time when you have to choose from the squillions of series that have long since worn out their welcome ("Ball Licking Bitches #253" ) and ill-conceived novelty titles ("Insexts", anyone?) crowding the shelves of your local adult novelty emporium?

Join Fleshbot's Senior Erotic Consultant Gram Ponante after the jump for the ten titles that will remain in or near our DVD players long after all the other disks we have sitting around have been pawned off to porn-weary friends in birthday gift baskets, donated to local orphanages for craft use, or wound up in a landfill. (And in the meantime: if anyone's interested in our copy of "Insexts", it's yours for the asking.)

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Fleshbot's Top Ten Porn DVDs of 2006
by Gram Ponante

10.

The New Neighbors
SllabWurks

While the company seems to have imploded due to squabbling among its financial backers, the movie that took about a year to release is one of the most satisfying porn movies I have ever seen. It combines great performances from people like Randy Spears and Nikki Hunter while operating in a feature film-worthy storyline of succubi and open marriages. Of all the movies that came out this year that really could be edited up and down for maximum commercial exploitation, this is the one, and it is a shame that the company never got up on its feet. Director Frank Castle has indicated that he will put together a sequel with the right backing, so here's hoping he gets it.

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9

Ravenous
Anarchy Films

Director/Performer Nikki Hunter delivers a solid porn movie featuring women who know how to fuck, like Trina Michaels, Mika Tan, and Aurora Snow. Watching Nikki Hunter work is watching someone with her eyes on the prize; she understands the realities of what porn audiences seem to want and she delivers.

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8.

Hillary Scott: Cock Star!
JM Productions

Because the ubiquitous Hillary Scott has been in so many diverse movies this year, it is hard to say which one she was best in, and harder still to pin down which movie showed her in her best light. She showed great acting talent in "Corruption", but that movie left me a little cold, despite its technical and acting qualities. And the concept of "Britney Rears" always outstrips its execution. But "Cock Star!" shows off Scott, the way I've come to like her, as a firmly-tongue-in-cheek, level-headed pornstress with a dirty mind and a wicked sense of humor.

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7.

The Da Vinci Load
Hustler

Funny, smart, and irreverent, this movie didn't do nearly as well as it should have, easily walking the line between frat porn and Vivid-style high gloss features—and a rare instance of a porn spoof being better than the Hollywood movie it parodies

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6.

Gang Bang 5
Red Light District

Naomi and Sasha Grey each takes on several guys in this two-disc set that showcases, well, the way porn is looking lately. Naomi is—and has the looks of—a runway model. People wanting to see runway models swallow loads of cum from a roomful of dirty guys need look no further. But it is Sasha Grey who really means business. Grey's talent is that she is a wanton girl who doesn't end up looking used up at the end of her movie. In fact, she looks ready for second helpings. Naomi, on the other hand, appears ready to go home and cry.

- - -

5

Island Fever 4
Digital Playground

What makes Digital Playground probably the most savvy company in porn is contained in this movie. Each of its contract stars is shown off in the best light, and each has her own separate personality. There really is something for everyone in this movie, and it is no mistake that there is no talking at all, just beautiful shots of sex-toned whippet-girls on a beach fucking in the sand—though it's a shame that Fleshbot Crush Object™ Sophia Santi was left off the cover because she looked too much like a normal woman. A normal, built-like-a-brick-house hotter-than-fire woman, that is. But still.

- - -

4.

Avenue X
VCA

Maverick director Joe Gallant's loopy, smart, and dirty movie features Kimberly Kane, Trina Michaels, Tommy Pistol, and Brian Surewood chewing up the scenery in this trippy, Aquarian porn about Big Brother.

- - -

3.

The ReBelle Rousers
Vivid-Alt

Glamour photographer-turned-pornographer Winkytiki's movie about pinup models gone bad features the delicious Page Morgan and Mysti May in a scene with Tyler Knight that makes porn seem fun. Shouldn't it be fun? Also delightful is Smokin' Mary Jane.

- - -

2.

Girls Lie
Vivid-Alt

Director Eon McKai's best movie so far showcases Charlotte Stokely in a manner that was dirty, sexy, and sad at the same time. While McKai's style sometimes gets in the way of the story, he certainly cleaved to what has become the Alt signature by casting the likes of the juicy Dana DeArmond as well as Tom Byron, yet another move that should (but won't) quiet the McKai-haters who think he is an upstart, when in fact he has a capacious knowledge of the adult industry's history.

- - -

1.

O: The Power of Submission
Adam & Eve

This movie had a hot all-star cast directed ably by Ernest Greene with standout performances from Nina Hartley, Adrianna Nicole, Kylie Ireland, and Carmen Luvana. It also had the most ambitious story, adapted from "L'Histoire d'O" by Greene. Top that, "Dirt Pipe Milkshakes".

* * * * *

Editorial Honorable Mention: "Naked and Famou$" · "Silver Lake Scenesters" · "Blacklight Beauty" · "Tristan Taormino's House Of Ass" · "Joanna Angel's Guide To Humping" · "Jesse Jane: All-American Girl" · "24 Hours In London" · "Cum On My Tattoo"