Foot massagers! Motörhead shirts! Wearable bongs! If these don't say "erotic" to you, you probably still need porn stars for stimulation.

All right. Erotica L.A. had those, too, in its three-day consumer fleshly bazaar at the L.A. Convention Center. But for those of us with more refined libidos, there was also a booth selling Egyptian cotton sheets. And if you need to ask how those are erotic, you've never jerked off to Lemmy Kilmister.

Speaking of important developments this election year, another set of results have come in that are guaranteed to stir debate among a feverish electorate: Genesis magazine has released their tenth annual "Porn's Hot 100" list, and while we're pleased to see that more than a few of our most notable Crush Objects have made their way onto it (though we're not surprised—after all, having good taste in pornstars has long been one of the prime requirements for this job), we can't help but be aware that there are some readers out there who will be miffed that their favorite(s) didn't make the cut.

After the jump, our tribute to the deserving superstars who made it to Genesis' Top Ten ... and a space for you tell us who should be among them, but wasn't.

Belladonna Down Under (= Not The Title Of Her Latest Movie)

Memorial Day weekend makes us think of a summer full of dogs, and how much better they are than cats. Leaders of the Porno-American community feel the same way, and we share some of their pictures here, starting with Belladonna and Oz.

We love porn, obviously. But do you know who really, really loves porn? Your mom! Ha, ha! Just kidding ... but not really. Moms do love porn and a lot of moms—more than you probably think—are actively starring in porn. The most famous is likely Belladonna, who gave birth to a daughter three years ago, but kept right on working—even filming scenes with her growing belly—and came back stronger and filthier than ever. So as we head into this most important holiday weekend (you did remember to at the very least send a card, right?), we salute Miss Bella and all the other hardworking hot mamas out there. We're going to celebrate by trying to find a MILF-compilation disc that has actual mothers in it and then maybe give your mom a call. Ha, ha! Just kidding, again! (We usually just text her.)

· Belladonna Proudly Mixes Porn With Motherhood (thenaughtyamerican.com)
· Related: The MILF Index (complex.com)

"The only thing I've ever done is a blowjob," says Belladonna to ingenue Alexis Texas. "I have no idea what a fellatio is." The two then begin a voyage of discovery in the lighthearted yet filthy romp through her pneumatic byways in "Discovering Alexis Texas."

"I'm Anal Queen Jenna Haze," stated Jenna Haze the first time we met. "OMG YES YOU ARE!!!!1!!" we replied. Hence our lack of surprise that Haze has garnered the most nominations for the upcoming fan-based F.A.M.E. Awards, to be held as part of Erotica L.A. this June. Also high on the list were perennial favorites Belladonna, Tera Patrick, Stormy Daniels, Jesse Jane, Hillary Scott, and Bree Olson (but not, alas, Malabimba). Voting is open for devotees until June 6, and admission to the awards show is free to Erotica L.A. attendees.

· The F.A.M.E. Awards (thefameawards.com)
· Erotica LA 2008 (erotica-la.com)

Stores like Adult DVD Empire may have already pulled our gal Belladonna's newly federally indicted "Fetish Fanatic 5" from their online inventory, but as of this afternoon you can still see the trailer for it on Evil Angel's site. Frankly, after watching it two or three or a dozen times we can't see what all the brouhaha is about; after all, things like enemas, squirting, and inserting dildos with one's (or someone else's) feet are hardly rare in porn these days—and as Evil Angel's Karen Stagliano told AVN today, "Maybe you don't always do (these things) in your normal bedroom, but that's kind of the point of porn." Even if the case doesn't lead to a prosecution, the indictment is bound to have a chilling effect on the adult industry, not to mention on our collective rights to free expression in general. After all, if you can't watch Belladonna and her pals stick various brightly colored liquids and foreign objects up each other's asses, the terrorists will so totally have won.

· "Fetish Fanatic 5" (2006) (DVD info + trailers @ evilangel.com)
· Belladonna Entertainment LLC (enterbelladonna.com)
· "FEDERAL GRAND JURY CHARGES TWO COMPANIES AND OWNER JOHN STAGLIANO WITH OBSCENITY VIOLATIONS" (.pdf press release @ usdoj.gov)
· "John Stagliano, Evil Angel Indicted On Federal Obscenity Charges" (AVN) + "John Stagliano, Evil Angel Charged With 7 Obscenity Violations" (Xbiz)

"Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" is in production, and it will feature a crossover from Belladonna, which in porn terms is like Captain Kirk visiting "The Love Boat" and nailing Julie. In terms of sales, "Pirates" is the "Hotel California" of porn movies. Since we first saw a hasty trailer for the sequel in January 2007 and it hasn't actually started shooting until this month, we'll try to protect our readers' tender expectations as much as we can. But apparently Belladonna and Jesse Jane have a pas de deux and, according to Belladonna, "I have only two days left to learn to swordfight."

· Belladonna (enterbelladonna.com)
· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

DCypher reports: In case it wasn't clear when we first told you about it a few months ago, the final installment of Evil Angel's "Fashionista" trilogy, "Safado: Berlin", takes place across the whole of modern Europe and not in Berlin, Ohio. I think we can all agree that the Amish have been teased enough without having to be subjected to the perversions of a Nacho Vidal, and the studio assures us that no Amish were harmed during the filming.

Porn Star Halloween Spectacular(s)

We have always been partial to Evil Angel, the American home of Rocco Siffredi, Nacho Vidal ... and, of course, Belladonna. The third and final installment of the company's very successful Euro-looking "Fashionistas" series, subtitled "Safado: Berlin" was released last Friday. Directed by dancer-turned-pornographer John Stagliano, the film follows Siffredi to Berlin where he can investigate the wacky world of S&M and learn a little about himself in the process.

Read (and see) more after the gap.

The title isn't the only thing that's familiar about celeb photographer Michael Grecco's "Naked Ambition": we seem to remember another high-profile coffee table book extravaganza a few years ago that catered to the market's apparently unquenchable thirst to see what porn stars look like with their clothes on. But while Timothy Greenfield-Sander's "XXX; 30 Porn Star Portraits" was a relatively austere affair that portrayed the superstars of smut as (gasp!) real people, Grecco's take on the shining lights of the adult industry presents them in all their glossy, pneumatically sexy glory ... and doesn't let you forget for a second that they're called porn stars for a reason.