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Previously: Bound To Please: "Midori's Expert Guide To Sensual Bondage"

Rocco Ravishes L.A.

Studio: Evil Angel
Director: Rocco Siffredi
Cast: Kristina Rose, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Jamie Elle, Bobbi Starr, Jada Fire, Lexi Love, Kagney Linn Karter, Rocco Siffredi, Marco Banderas, Toni Ribas, Mark Davis

Review by: Gram Ponante

There is so much unnecessary hype in porn that when someone like Rocco Siffredi comes out of retirement because he can't resist someone like Bobbi Starr, it's a shame when so little is made of it.

Siffredi channels Randy Newman in both his love of L.A. and in boxcover font choice for his stateside comeback extravaganza, "Rocco Ravishes L.A.," in which "The Stallion" and a troupe of foreigners (Mark Davis, Marco Banderas, and Tony Ribas) are violently serviced by Starr, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Jamie Elle, Lexi Love, Jada Fire, Kagney Linn Karter, and Kristina Rose.

One of the persistent myths about any porn, but particularly this type of clinical, graphic, and forceful material, is that the women in in don't like it. While this is certainly true some of the time, it is most often not the case, and we can see this in scenes with Starr, Karter, and Adrianna Nicole, in particular.

"I was star-struck," Bobbi Starr told me a month after the Siffredi shoot, which took place in January, 2009. "He wasn't originally going to put my head in the toilet, but I kind of begged him to."

This movie is dirty, dirty, dirty but, lest you think it is dirty in that disaffected European sterile way, "Rocco Ravishes L.A." has heart. Rocco is clearly delighted to be back in the catbird seat again, as are his gracefully aging cohorts, each of whom drops loads spiced with a little gratefulness.

Kagney Linn Karter was new to the business when this movie was shot, and Lexi Love had just returned to it after a hiatus. Both are great fun to watch. Jada Fire is like an ominous storm cloud washing over both Lexi Love and Mark Davis, and she looks exquisite.

"Rocco Ravishes L.A." is one of those movies that is both a great snapshot of porn in 2009 and an education in the style of a guy who has been teaching hardcore fucking for more than a decade.

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Prepare yourselves for the hottest new video to come out of Evil Angel in a while—which is saying a lot.

When celebrated pornstar and thrill seeker extraordinaire Belladonna announced she was putting out a movie called "Hell's Belles" we assumed she had somehow convinced the all girl AC/DC cover band to make a porn spoof of their bizarre stage show. Either that or she was making her own celebrity sex tape with Angus Young. In fact, we were hoping it was the later.

As it turns out, neither was the case. Instead the Evil Angel directrix unveiled an equally compelling movie based on young, morally uninhibited, tattoo-smeared angels having some of the hottest sex of their brief (but challenged) lives. As is usually the case, she immediately won us over. But before you go barking on in our comments section about how this post is just another advertisement (which is both patently false and totally offensive) take a good hard look at the exclusive gallery we compiled and tell us that you're not feeling it.

Not to give away too much, but the threeway that Belladonna pulls off with Brian Streetteam is nothing short of impressive. Having witnessed his entrance into porn at the 2008 LA Erotica Show in Los Angeles—where he received a blowjob on the floor of the LA Convention Center while surrounded by pals James Deen, Joanna Angel, and Burning Angel crew—we can say that we always knew big things were in store for the lad. Still, we're pretty certain that we are in fact "jealous" that he gets to fuck Belladonna and her hawt friend...and we are just reviewing it.

Oh, and watching Sean Michaels fuck anything with his massive, stylish cock is always a good time. That guy is one class act. When Shiva created him (and his extra large cock) we are pretty sure the destructive deity immediately broke the mold.

"Hell's Belles" is now out from Evil Angel. If you were, like, cool, you would already know. If you don't you're either Mormon or over 30 and still trying to figure out how to upload pix to your Facebook and driving your kids nuts—in which case you should totally get back to work. Oh, and yeah, we think Angus Young would be proud.

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Midori, for those who don't know, is an author, sex expert, and bondage aficionado based out of San Francisco—one whose many books and lectures have educated countless newbies in the skills of bondage. In her "Expert Guide," she brings her skills and know-how right to your living room—and does an excellent job, we must say. Midori's a great teacher with great screen presence, and it's a pleasure to learn the basics of bondage from her.

It's also a pleasure to watch the rest of the cast at work. Adrianna Nicole and Mark Davis join Midori for some hands on instruction, then Midori leaves them to get down to business (meaning Mark ties up Adrianna and fucks her masterfully); Madison Young and Danny Wylde conclude the release with a delightful switch scene. The performers clearly enjoy bondage—and each other—and their scenes manage to be both hot and informative (we definitely got a lot of bondage inspiration from watching these performers at work).

Though the release is geared towards beginners, with a focus on basic bondage (no fancy Japanese rope tricks or suspension here), we'd wager that there are quite a few intermediate players who could benefit from Midori's lessons. She offers advice that even we'd never heard (like that you should remove contacts before blindfolding someone), and offers a lot of creative suggestions for different techniques for tying (be sure to check out the bonus scene with instructions for the Midori scarf harness—it's a trick every lady should know).

Our one critique? It would have been nice to see a little more attention paid to the ins and outs of binding male bodies. Madison does a nice job tying up Danny, but a third full scene with a male submissive being bound up and dominated by a female top would have rounded out the release very nicely. We've got our fingers crossed that that shows up in "Midori's Expert Guide to Sensual Bondage 2" (they are making, that, right?).

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* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

As with "Chemistry," Tristan builds "Rough Sex" around the desires of her performers. Each of the five scenes is directly based on the rough sex fantasy of its female star; the male co-stars were also chosen by stars themselves, not a casting director. It's a nice touch: knowing that the performers are acting out their secret (or not-so-secret) desires with someone they enjoy working with adds an extra oomph to the scenes.

And the scenes themselves are pretty hot as it is (at least if you're into rough sex). Of the five, Satine Phoenix's scene with Derrick Pierce is easily our favorite. The most elaborate of all the scenes, "Stranded" finds Satine, ahem, stranded in the desert with a broken down car and no cell reception. She's discovered by Derrick, who offers her his cell, and some company, but starts to turn forceful once he realizes there's no one around to stop him from taking what he wants. Both Satine and Derrick are practiced rough players, and their chemistry is quite good—it also helps that they manage to stay in character (and, okay, maybe Satine's fantasy is our fantasy too).

But Satine is not alone in turning in a standout performance. Marie Luv and Julius Ceazher turn up the heat, acting out Marie's fantasy of getting caught cheating; Francesca Le (the film's sole femdom) makes hard working husband Christian take a break from the office and focus on his real boss; and Adrianna Nicole succumbs to the desires of intruder Marco Banderas.

And, of course, there's Sasha Grey. The final scene in the collection, Sasha's encounter with Danny Wylde is the least scripted, and seemingly the least fantasy-based (unless Sasha sits around fantasizing about negotiating with her partners and then having rough sex on a pool table). It's also the most real feeling: we can actually imagine that this is how Sasha has sex in real life. An initial discussion of likes and dislikes segues into very playful rough sex, with Danny and Sasha switching back and forth between domme and sub. There's no fancy set up or story line, but it doesn't matter: real, hot sex is really all we need.

Tristan Taormino has long been our go-to director for real hot porn exploring pornstars' real desires; it now seems that she'll similarly be our go-to director for real hot rough sex. A second volume of "Rough Sex" is already in the works; it should go without saying that we're counting down the days to its release.

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Cause, you know, otherwise, we might have to kill him.

· Party of Feet (laist.com)

What's the occasion? Preparation for Belladonna's "Party of Feet," a foot fetish film being shot tomorrow (the stars are getting pedicures together today). We have no idea what the plot is (our initial guess was a foot-themed "Party of Five" parody, but we think we may have missed the mark)—but with a cast this enthralling...it has to be good.

Bobbi Starr and Kimberly Kane have been twittering up a storm about the pedicure party. And though we know they're not actually shooting until tomorrow, well—with a group of women this sexy in a room together, can you blame us for keeping watch on their tweets... just in case?

· Bobbi Starr's Twitter (twitter.com)
· Kimberly Kane's Twitter (twitter.com)

And so another Alexander Devoe title is born, launching from the shores of Jules Jordan Video out into a world hungry for interracial tales featuring unnaturally endowed men with cruel appetites for tiny and unyielding orifices.

And just who is this Rico the Destroyer? Is he a product of blight and sprawl, born into the harsh realities bred by the underbelly of laisez faire capitalism and forced to fight his way out of the ghetto using the only advantages life gave him—in this case a thirteen inch fuck stick and a ravenous hunger for horny white girls possessed with insatiable jungle fever?

Or is he just another Johnny Cum Lately exploiting racial myths and stereotypes, playing up to our baser fears and desires and using them to create the character of Rico the Destroyer? In other words, is he simply posing as a ruthless misogynistic thug, a la Ice Berg Slim, when in fact he has the heart of a tender Buddhist monk and the business acumen of Donald Trump? Is this an act Jack? Are his street creds affected to play up his animalistic virility?

In all honesty, to some degree, they probably are. The truth is that we may never know. For all intents and purposes we have to take it at face value, or ignore it completely, and it is pretty hard to ignore a thirteen inch black cock waving in your face. Like it or not, Rico commands your attention. You simply cannot look away once you've caught a glimpse of this monster.

If we suspend our disbelief at the routine and pass off the comic book villain meets gangsta rapper bravado, we are left with over two hours of viciously entertaining hardcore footage, which is more than enough to keep us contentedly distracted. The rest we will allow you to decide for yourselves.

"Rico the Destroyer" is out now from Jules Jordan Video.

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Oh, wait, that's right—she actually might be. But she's not! Which is good, because when she veers into conversations with more depth and political commentary, we tend to get a little lost. Better to leave that to our dear friends over at Wonkette and Daily Kos. For now, we're more than content to treat this stunning blonde sex goddess like the glorious sex object that she is.

Her latest effort, "The Lifestyle," centers around a story porn plot (after all, this is Wicked) featuring a couple desperate to save their fizzled marriage, trying all kinds of inventive ways to return the spark to their sex life. When everything else fails, they finally turn to their friends who can't stop dry humping each other's legs in public. What's the secret to their happy marriage? Wait for it... SWINGING!

Does it all work out? Who cares? Seriously—each scene has at least two girls in it having the time of their young life getting drilled open, all hot and juicy. We gave up on most of the plot lines in these movies a while ago anyway, and we'd venture a guess that we aren't alone in that decision.

Swing masters Voodoo and Nicole Sheridan join in along with Kaylani Lei, Adrianna Nicole, Roxy DeVille, Mackenzee Pierce, Carolyn Reese, Tori Black, and smoldering hot retired redhead Jayme Langford.

Check out our free sneak peek gallery. "The Lifestyle" comes out this week from Wicked Pictures.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

Take a peek into the "Chemistry" house, where Sinnamon Love and Adrianna Nicole lure Tyler Knight into the hot tub (of sin!), while Penny Flame lustfully looks on (camera in hand, natch). We're pretty sure this goes without saying... but man, "The Real World" has nothing on this.

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*****

Previously: Keeping The "Chemistry" Alive: The Orgy Edition

She shares her birthday with two Byzantine emperors, a king and queen of Naples, Custer's senior captain at the Battle of Little Bighorn, a queen of Yugoslavia, and Ed Begley, Jr. Not to mention…oh, man, would you look at those things? They're so perfect and natural – no kidding. I could just…

Oh. Sorry. I was saying that the, uh, that…oh, that March 25th is also Pecan Day AND International Waffle Day, and, according to some, the day pancakes were invented in 1882. It is also the Feast Day of St. Dismas, Jesus' "Good Thief," although I don't know if pancakes or waffles would be appropriate feast items. I do know that I would totally feast on that ass – it's like a…um, a…a feast of – ass, or something.

Jeez. Sorry. Adrianna turns 28 today. 28 is also, coincidentally, the number of miles I would walk barefoot across hot sand to get to her if she called me up and asked me to come over. She keeps getting better too – next year it will be 29 miles.

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

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Fleshbot Readers, your answers to last week's contest were so thoughtful that we thought we'd resurrect another chestnut from sophomore year in high school that re-emerged meaning something totally different freshman year in college: "The Stranger."

While all porn (aside from "Naked Happy Girls") reveals a darkness, please create for this week a porn title that would make a Galois-smoking, coffee-rank, beturtlenecked and Algiers-lounging existentialist proud.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Deep Anal Abyss 2" (gamelink.com)

Such is the sad case, in our humble but esteemed opinion, with the latest title directed by Chris Rolie for Jules Jordan Video. Don't get us wrong—there's a lot to love about "Tunnel Butts." After all, the release stars big booty cuties Melissa Lauren, Kaci Starr, Jamie Elle, Kelly Wells, Adrianna Nicole, Jaslin Diaz, Heidi Mayne, Cassandra Cruz, Ricki White, and Mason Moore taking hearty helpings of cock in every hole, with seven scenes running nearly three hours (this is a massive release, people.). Still, even with all that action, the title just leaves something to be desired.

Not to sound like Andy Rooney or anything, but what exactly are “tunnel butts” anyway? Are these the butts that runaway slaves like Fredrick Douglass and Harriet Tubman once used to fulfill their sexual desires while fleeing slavery via the underground railroad? Or is this a puerile reference to the anal proclivities of our zaftig, callipygous starlets? We can’t make heads or tails out of some of these threeways!

In the end (pun fully intended), we’ve learned that, no matter how mangled the etymology of pornographic idea might get, the enjoyment is still the same—so long as it’s not Japanese tentacle porn. Rolie gives us a delicious display of riches by way of Jules Jordan, and offers up the ripe and juicy derrieres of voracious starlets out to earn a name for themselves. That's something we're grateful for in any language.

· "Tunnel Butts" (julesjordanvideo.com)

Each scene features a minimum of two sultry anal starlets, both crowding around the dusky tumescence of a swarthy swordsman before taking turns stretching each and every orifice with the ample genital offerings that John provides. The results are nothing short of wonderful to watch.

The omnipresent Jada Fire joins Adrianna Nicole, Bobbi Starr, Riley Evans, Carolyn Reese, Fleshbot Crush Object Dana DeArmond, Claire Dames, Charley Chase, Charlotte Vale, and Chayse Evans in this epicurean adventure of cum swapping.

. . .

· "Semen Sippers 7" (julesjordanvideo.com)

Read our review of "Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge" after the gap.

Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge

Here's how much money went into "Pirates 2." When I opened the 4-disc box, three crisp hundred-dollar bills slid out. There was a code on Disc 1 that allowed me half off a 2008 Saturn Vue at the Porn Valley Galpins. There were free helicopter rides to the Van Nuys airport, and either Stoya or Riley Steele is contractually obligated to deliver your "Pirates 2" personally, wearing nothing but your family coat of arms or company logo bodypainted across her eager frame.

But I only speak from personal experience. Your mileage may vary.

A movie of excesses, "Pirates 2" is also an earnest attempt to be a family comedy – much like the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies were, except with rimjobs in it. There are portions of the script devoted to loyalty, believing in oneself, and sticking up for friends that would not be out of place on "Hannah Montana." That these elements appear discretely between scenes of guys coming on each other (just from a porn angle, "Pirates 2" is dirtier and riskier than your average mainstream adult movie) was an uncomfortable marriage of childish themes with very adult ones, as if Digital Playground were trying to let the Sarah Palin demographic know that fisting was "super."

The first joke told by anyone who writes about porn (and a joke he is under the mistaken impression of thinking he has invented) is the one about the sequels. It goes like this: "Whoriental Sex Academy 4 addresses the vital questions left unanswered by Whoriental Sex Academies 1 through 3."

"Pirates 2," on the other hand, really does pick up where its predecessor left off, cannily depending on familiarity with (and perhaps ownership of) 2005's "Pirates" to figure out who "Serena" was and why Captain Evan Stone and First Mate Jesse Jane are searching the Caribbean for her. (Just so you know, Serena is Janine Lindemulder's character from the original. She doesn't appear, Jo-rel or Ben Kenobi-like, in "Pirates 2," however).

An adventure that leads from Jamaica to the (Armenian owned and operated) slave markets to the high seas to the netherworld, where Katsuni's magical Blue Pearl reanimates Tommy Gunn's Stagnetti, "Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge" really is all over the place, and anyone who expects the story to make sense is, I guess, expecting too much. Ditto for the CGI. The pirate hunters' animated ship moves through animated water, leaving no shadow and displacing none of it. The massive worm slain by Belladonna is about as realistic as Jesse Jane's boobs.

But if the big effects are not even to the standards of late-night Sci Fi Channel fare, the sex and the scope of "Pirates 2" are far beyond what you expect and deserve as average porn consumers. You expect an awful porn script? Here you get one that actually expected something of the actors. You expect scenery chewing from the men? Evan Stone and Steven St. Croix ably comply. You want Jesse Jane and Belladonna to fuck the living daylights out of each other? Check.

Not only that, but the strenuous sex scenes we saw in the theatrical (yes, "Pirates 2," like its predecessor, debuted in a theatre) release are extended in the DVD set. So the thrill you got to see added footage of Minas Tirith when the "Return of the King" Extended Edition came out you can now feel when you see even more of Belladonna's colon.

But in other areas the sheer quantifiables of the movie are distractions. The Stagnetti of the title is, despite Tommy Gunn's performance, useless. He appears toward the end and, as it turns out, anticlimactically. Katsuni's incoherent black widow character was both evil and had boobs. Stagnetti wasn't necessary. The same goes for Sasha Grey. Sure it makes sense for Sasha Grey to be in the biggest porn movie of the year, but her presence and character are as tacked on as when everybody in class has to be in the school play, so suddenly Snow White has 40 dwarves.

And why was Shay Jordan not listed on the box? Her performance was wonderful. And why was Stoya only in a group scene? Both are criminal acts. Further inexplicability is achieved in non-speaking, non-fucking roles for Ange Venus and Adrianna Nicole ("I fell asleep on set," Nicole said.)

Regardless, we persevere. We remember that "Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge" is a porn movie – and an excellent porn movie - with all the usual limitations even if, as shouted from the boxcover, it is "The Biggest Adult Production in History." We still have four DVDs worth of delightful, turgid nudity.

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Ali Joone
Cast: Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Evan Stone, Jenna Haze, Katsuni, Steven St.Croix, Tommy Gunn, Belladonna, Stoya, Riley Steele, Ben English, James Deen, Sasha Grey, Gabriella Fox, David Aaron Clark, your mom, Shyla Stylez, Shawna Lenee, Abbey Brooks, Brianna Love, Brea Lynn, Rhylee Richards, Charles Dera, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrara, Marco Banderas

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Pirates 2" (gamelink.com)