Fleshbot: FFP

Fleshbot Fashion Police: MILF Hair Alert!

Jonnobot — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:15:12 EDT

"Mom hair" is a recognized real-world phenomenon: when a mom finds her hairdo getting in the way of her busy lifestyle, she trims it down so it's practical and managable with minimal time and effort. Porn stars, on the other hand, are largely known for their luxuriant, high-maintenance manes. But what about the MILFs—or at least the ones who play them ~~on TV~~ in adult videos? Do MILFs have haircuts that mark them too? Let's grab our nightsticks and investigate after the jump.-Audacia Ray

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The Cougar Club
While technically not all cougars are MILFs (though most MILFs are indeed cougars), this collection of ladies seems like a good benchmark for MILFdom through the porn universe. And what do you know, they've all got long sexy hair with a little volume to it! Only Kylie Ireland has bangs hanging in her eyes, which though damning on many MILFs look pretty sharp on her. (Though the bustier doesn't hurt either.)

Horny White Mothers 4
There it is: the dreaded MILF hair. Sure, Desi Foxx could probably put her hair in a pony tail if she wanted, but the bangs obscuring her forehead and eye brows are not good. Would Desi really lose her MILF cred if she had better hair? Get the lady some volumizing shampoo and a comb!

Somebody's Mother
Though we can now acknowledge that the hair doesn't necessarily make the MILF, this title isn't even trying. Flowing long hair and gold lamé? Puh-leeze, this isn't even remotely convincing.

Soccer MILFs
Saskia Steele is demonstrating the quinessential MILF 'do on this box cover, and though we really want to hate it and make fun of about how frumpy it is, it's actually pretty hot on her. Sometimes rules are made to be broken.

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Previously: Fleshbot Fashion Police Archive

Fleshbot Fashion Police: (Not) Baring All At eXXXotica NY

Jonnobot — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:30:16 EDT

We've always liked to dream the impossible dream here at Fleshbot, and last weekend that meant looking for fashionable attendees at eXXXotica NY. But since finding Girls Wearing Outrageously Tiny and Shiny Outfits isn't exactly a tall order at a porn convention, we decided to up the ante and look for gals who showed up modestly dressed instead. After all, sometimes leaving something to the imagination is really hot—and in the context of a porn convention, it's even sort of kinky. Maybe we watch too much porn? (Ed. note: You think?) -Audacia Ray

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Tiffany Granath, host of Playboy Radio's Afternoon Advice (tiffanygranath.com)

In this dress, Tiffany Granath can pretty much write the book on how to be pretty and girly while defying porn stereotypes. It's not easy to gracefully transition into clothes-on work once you've spent a chunk of years in the adult business, but Tiffany is a role model in this respect. And it's also not easy to wear something that buttons down smoothly over boobs of that magnitude. The bustier members of Team Fleshbot would like to be introduced to the people who fit her for bras.

Bella Vendetta, punk porn powerhouse (bellavendetta.com)

When we first laid eyes on Bella and her lovely dress, we expressed our shock at seeing her in so much clothing: especially in contrast to the other ladies at the Burning Angel booth, Bella's outfit seemed practically demure. Oh right, except for the fact that's its the color of a traffic cone. The matching peep toe pumps and flower in her hair are a nice touch.

Jasmine Mai, East Coast Import Supermodel

Pants are a rarity on women at porn conventions—thongs, mini skirts, and chaps are the most common bottom-half adornments. So we admit that such full coverage of Jasmine Mai's gams surprised us. It all made sense again when she peeled her trousers down seconds before this photo was snapped. You can put a porn star in pants, but damn it all to hell if she's gonna keep them on!

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Previously: Fleshbot Fashion Police Archive

Fleshbot Fashion Police: Stocking Dos And Don'ts

Jonnobot — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:30:11 EDT

There are entire volumes of smut dedicated to women in stockings, and some of them don't even show what most people would conider to be the naughty bits—just lots of long legs clad in various shiny materials. But stockings are one of the few fetish items with crossover appeal. After all, if you stick a woman in a clown suit in mainstream porn most viewers will probably be pissed off, confused, and limp-dicked. But put her in some thigh highs and no one's going to complain. The right stockings can add the perfect flourish to any porny outfit because they're an accessory that doesn't necessarily restrict access to the good stuff.

But not all stockings are created equal. Check out who's wearing what (and who shouldn't be) after the jump. - Audacia Ray

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Sandee Westgate's Black and Teal Stockings
Oh Sandee, you are pretty like whoa and this is one seriously put together outfit. The colors are awesome and the black lace top on the teal stocking is amazing, but that is one ridiculous garter belt. Garter belts are supposed to accentuate the hips and hold up your thigh highs. That is not going to happen when the belt is a lowrider with flimsy straps. Sure, porn outfits aren't exactly meant to withstand a vigorous strut around town, but there is no way in hell that garter belt will hold anything up.

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Kinky Zee's Fishnet Body Stocking
Wearing a body stocking will not guarantee you sexiness. It will probably make you look stupid. Also, it's likely that things will get tangled and on top of not being all that sexy it will be embarassing. Kinky Zee, however, makes this thing look hot as all get out - maybe its the opera gloves. If you insist on a body stocking, fishnet is the most forgiving. Plus, it can tear really nicely.

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Lea Tyron's White Outfit
The fun of wearing stockings somehow always seems to loop back to this damn white outfit with the almost-opaque white thigh highs. What's with this? Is it a porn star rite of passage? Do you have to do a photo shoot in which you look like you might be a bride or some other innocent in order to be in the Fraternal Order of Porn Stars? Stop it, it's tacky and awful. And to add insult to injury, Lea's wearing open toed shoes. That's a very basic fashion no-no: stockings require closed toe shoes.

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Angela Ryan's Knee Highs
Free association time: knee high stockings? You thought about school girls, didn't you? Well, Angela Ryan will show you what's up. She's doing something a little different with the tried and true knee highs here. Knee highs and heels aren't exactly a classic look, but it sure is sexy and slightly different.

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Tanja Tiles Shows Us a Trick
Lots of ladies shy away from thigh highs because they squeeze any chub you might have on your legs into unsightly lumps of flesh. But Tanja Tiles knows what's up: thigh highs that are a size too big can be pulled up way further, and the overall look is smoother. Maybe porn is educational after all.

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Previously: Fleshbot Fashion Police: Courtney Cummz And Jenna Haze (Verdict: On Probation)