Now, granted, 2007 was a very good year—but it was also two years ago. So why highlight it now? Are they, perhaps, planning an extra special tribute to Keeley Hazell's sex tape (leaked that year!)?

Probably not...but we can still hope, right?

· New Issue of Nuts (nuts.co.uk)

January 2007
· 2007 AVN Awards: Is That All There Is?
· 2007 AVN Awards Photos: Gag On The Glamour!
· Paris (Over)Exposed, Again
· Heather Vandeven, 2007 Penthouse Pet Of The Year (We Think)
· Kimberly Kane: 19th Floor

February 2007
· Exclusive: Hannah Harper Does "Whorecraft"
· Remembering Anna Nicole
· Exclusive: Tristan Taormino's "Chemistry 2" Gallery
· Exclusive: The New Penthouse Magazine
· How To: Have A Frenzied Asian Masturbation Fest (Starring Maria Ozawa!)

March 2007
· DVD Review: Everything You Wanted To Know About "Kim Kardashian, Superstar" But Were Afraid To Watch
· Jada Fire Really Is Squirtwoman
· Keira Knightley Goes Hardcore (Sorta)
· Renae Cruz is "J-Ho: Jenny On The Cock"
· On The Set: "The Da Vinci Load 2"

April 2007
· DVD: Tristan Taormino's "Expert Guide To Anal Sex" · Belladonna Gets Moldy
· Deep Inside Kink Dot Com: Smut With A Smile
· Air Sex: Fuck Like The Wind>
· Olivia Mojica Sex Tape: Resistance Is Futile

May 2007
· You Can Has Lolpr0n!
· Ava And Mia Do "Halo 3"
· Barbie Cummings Fought The Law (And The Law Got Blown)
· National Masturbation Month: A Hands-On Guide
· "Why Interracial Porn is Stupid" (And Why We Agree)

June 2007
· NY Times: Porn Economy Just As Bad As The Regular One
· Obama Girl Seeks Hot Electoral Action
· eBay Item(s) Of The Week: Playboy's "Big Bunny" DC-9
· Introducing Fleshbot v3.14: More Flesh, All The Time
· We Don't Even Have Our iPhones Yet, But Jesse Jane Got Her "Juice" On Them

July 2007
· Rock Of Love's Brandi C Is "In The VIP"
· Porn Debate Raises The Bar On Public Discourse
· The Lost Nintendo Sex Ed Tape
· The Training Of O: It's Not Just A Job, It's An Adventure
· 2257 Regulations: Comin' Around Again

August 2007
· Vanessa Minnillo's Vacation Outtakes
· Do You Sliploos?
· Larry Craig Ruins Hot Public Sex For The Rest Of Us
· What Do Underwear Models Really Look Like?
· Vibrator Of The Year May Lack A Certain Buzz

September 2007
· Natalie Portman's Ass Revealed (Again)
· DVD Review: Digital Playground's "Babysitters"
· Is This Meg White's Icky Thump?
· Melissa Midwest Goes Hardcore
· Porn And Tech @ Arse Elektronika 2007

October 2007
· "Barely Legal 75" (And They Don't Look A Day Over 20!)
· Here's The Story ... Of How To Hype Your Porn Movie
· "Emmanuelle" Is Back Where She Belongs
· DVD Review: "Not The Bradys XXX"
· The Rubbot: Hands Free Masturbation Is (Almost) Here

November 2007
· Scene Analysis: How Older People Do It
· 8-Track Porno: Is It Smut Or Is It Memorex?
· Barely Legal Watch: Hayden Panettiere Works Quickly
· Candice Michelle Grapples With Her Foot Fetish Past
· Wal-Mart Masturbator Cleans Up In Aisle 8

December 2007
· Mary Carey Shocker: Knocker Auction
· Gram's Dirty Dozen: The Year In Porn Movies
· Still More Free Porn Video Sites (Shh! Don't Tell Vivid!)
· Dana DeArmond Is "Role Modeling" (And You Get To Watch)
· Ho Ho Hos: Merry XXXmas Porn To All

This year's crush object list was derived from a secret formula involving nominations by Fleshbot contributors; number of times they were mentioned on the site; a patented coefficient extracted from each subject's astrological chart; and a subjective measure of how much each one of us wanted to date and/or cook a morning after breakfast for each one of the crush objects in question. Find out who they are after the jump.

- - -

10.

Pixie Pearl
According to a certain member of the Fleshbot staff, Burning Angel's Pixie Pearl is "the girl that keeps me up at night." No, we won't tell you who it is ... but Pixie, if a certain Fleshbot staff member approaches you in public sometime and throws herself at your feet in an insomniac frenzy, don't say we didn't warn you.

9.

Monique Alexander
Vivid's wonderful contract star actually smiles at the camera. Who does that anymore? We applaud her courage in not sticking her finger coyly in her mouth at every opportunity and slapping her own ass. We would like to reserve that right for ourselves.

8.

Brandi Belle
The always delightful Brandi Belle manages to set herself apart from all those other amateur and solo gal sites out there by a geeky sense of humor and some genuinely hot setups for her videos. If her stunts haven't made the initials "CFNM" sexy for you ... well, you haven't been paying close enough attention.

7.

Jenny Hendrix
The hardest-working woman in porn, Jenny Hendrix hasn't even taken a nap since July. The world recently teetered at the brink of the abyss when she toyed with the idea of getting new boobs, but she has decided against it for the time being. At 22, she has at least three more months before things start going horribly wrong.

6.

Sophie Howard
It was hard to pick up a lad mag this year without running smack into Sophie Howard's magnificent rack. Fortunately, running into Sophie Howard's rack is something we can't see ourselves getting sick of anytime soon.

5.

Eve ("Iga") Wyrwal
It came from Poland ... the mysterious Eve Wyrwal, that is, who was suddenly everywhere you looked on the babelog scene as "Iga" this fall and then started appearing under her even more consonant-heavy modeling name in the pages of lad mags not long after. Whatever she decides to call herself, we hope she sticks around for a while. (As long as she doesn't keep adding to her aliases; we're having a hard enough time keeping track of her appearances as it is.)

4.

Stoya
Stoya is more than just Digital Playground's attempt at going Alt (whatever that means), but her non-mainstream porn pedigree is so much different—God's Girls, Lzrbunny—from the Hawaiian Tropics via Hooters route taken by Jesse Jane that she is already the highest-profile contract girl with tats since Janine Lindemulder and the recently-departed Sophia Santi.

3.

Maria Ozawa
Maria Ozawa would have made Bill Murray's character in "Lost in Translation" stay in Japan. (So what if she's half Canadian?)

2.

Gianna Michaels
Had Michaels been around at the time of the great Renaissance artists no work would have been done, aside from them crawling over each other to get at her. (Save for Michelangelo of course; he didn't go in for the boobies. Well, more for us.)

1.

Sasha Grey
Next year Sasha Grey turns 20, and she will no longer be America's Sexy Mopey Teen. Luckily for us there is the Porno-Industrial Complex which will ensure that she is in pigtails and plaid skirts until she's at least 26. With luck, by then she will have blown up Chatsworth.

. . .

See also Fleshbot's Crush Object Hall Of Fame:

2005's Crush Object Of The Year

Joanna Angel

2006's Crush Object Of The Year

Dana DeArmond

(And all the other crush objects who made our 2005 and 2006 lists. We'll always have a place in our hearts for you too.)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

Check out some of the moments that kept our jobs interesting this year after the jump.

. . .

10

Not Meg White
Sometimes the best sex scandals are the ones that aren't true. Did White Stripes rhythm section Meg White really bang some college student in his dorm and let him film it? Does it even matter?

9

Britney's Downward Spiral, Stage 3
So ... um ... yeah ... that happened. Moving on ...

8

Hayden's Barely Legal Year
Another hot young babe had her "it's no longer creepy" party, to be followed next year by her "whatever happened to?" fiesta (i.e., her 19th birthday).

7

Everybody's Preggers!
Salma. Christina. Halle. Jessica. J-Love. Jaime-Lynn? (No comment on that one.) Everyone seems to have forgone the sexy on-camera Hollywood screwing for the private, baby-making kind. On the plus side, bigger boobs are always nice.

6

Anything Sienna Miller Does. Ever.
Seriously, we're not sure if this gal even owns a shirt, much less knows how to wear one, but we're just glad that her dedication to the cause of the celebrity nudity is so strong and vital.

5

Amy Fisher Understands A Good Press Event
Step aside, all you amateur scandalebrities: let a real tabloid veteran show you how it's done!

4

Natalie Portman's Ass
Better in theory than in iPod-quality practice, but any chance to see Ms. Portman sans culottes is a chance we're never going to pass up.

3

Kim Kardashian: Superstar?
The Paris Hilton "famous for being famous while having sex" phenomenon comes full circle, as her former sidekick parlays her fame by association into a TV show, a Playboy shoot and the worst Vivid video of all time. But at least she's not shy.

2

Vanessa Hudgens' Graduation Gift
Even gay men agree: don't send your high school musical boyfriend full-frontal nudie pics unless you're absolutely sure he can be trusted to not share them with all his friends Planet Earth. (P.S. You can't.)

1

Vanessa and Nick's Excellent Adventure
While they are not the biggest names on this list, the Mexican hot tub dance between pseudo-celebrities Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo was quite possibly our biggest story of the year. We hope that had more to do with the revelation of Vanessa's generous bush than Nick's pained o-face, but the moral, as always, is that watching famous people do dirty things is a terrific way to pass the time.

* * * * *

Honorable Mention: Sharon Stone's Outrageous Cameltoe, Marisa Tomei Wakes The Dead, and Mr. Skin's Top 20 Nude Scenes Of 2007

. . .

10.

Vortex Vibrations
All of our years hearing nightmarish urban legends about vacuum cleaner related masturbation deaths came to the fore when we stumbled across the Hoover of vibrators. Nevertheless, few things we've seen this year have made routine housework look so enticing.

9.

Jack Hammer Johnson
Not just the name of every guy trying to break into the business, this groundbreaking device (which was originally released back in 2006, though we didn't actually get our, uh, hands on one 'til this year) might also be pussy-breaking, as it's essentially comprised of a pogo stick and a dildo. Hell, we've been meaning to update that "Mustache Rides: $1" sign over our editor in chief's desk anyway.

8.

Incognito Tickling Dust Brush
Besides being one of the less subtly bizarre vibrator ideas of 2007, the best part of is that it's more than a household time-saver, it's also a snatch-powered homemaker's dream come true. If you don't mind the questionable safety, dust factor and possible jeopardy to said homemaker's respective orifii. But let's just say that between this and the Vortex Vibrator, the Fleshbot offices are sparkling.

7.

Five Finger Palm Harness
Talk to the hand, indeed. This hand-harness holds a dildo to the wearer's palm, guaranteeing that hilarity ensues next time you shake hands with your in-laws. Better yet, you can give a fuck of a high-five, do that one hand clapping thing that's supposed to be all Zen-like, and surely give one hell of a handjob.

6.

The Incredible Edible Anus
We can hear the jingle for this one already, though we doubt we'll be able to order this one at In N Out anytime soon. Not a sex toy per se, though if used properly on that first date you could get that cream pie you've always wanted.

5.

BodiTalk Escort
One of the best innovations of the year, O Mi Bod took their famous iPod vibe formula and applied it to phones: not a new idea by any means, but the execution gets a "10" for making sure there was something even dirtier to do with our iPhones and Helios in crowded elevators.

4.

Jingle Jugs
Do not overlook the power of the Jingle Jugs. Sure, they seem like the seasonal version of the Billy Big Mouth Bass we shudder to awaken by accident in Walgreens. But while the mighty Jugs look fit for the frat house and play a lame tune, savvy Jugsters can upgrade their wall-tits to play personalized messages or sound. And whose mom doesn't love dusting a flapping, noisy pair of boobies yelling the chorus to "Smack My Bitch Up"?

3.

Tuyo
This one's almost too beautiful, luxurious and high-class to have on a list like this; a gorgeous hard plastic, silicone, and stainless steel orb that vibrates on five different speeds seems like a piece of art. For your pussy gallery. Except many of us grew up frightened by movies like Phantasm, and just know that thing's going to chase us down and trepan our G-spots.

2.

Phallix' Dildo Bong
There's no specific reason we like this toy other than it's a water pipe that goes in your ass. Whose idea was it to smoke enema bubbles? Probably someone who was smoking some serious crack to begin with. (Also available in double dong version!)

1.

Delight
We had to put a real, functional, truly excellent and useful sex toy at the top of this list, or all our moms would be mad at us. Plus it's really a great vibrator, even if it looks like an alien fetus from Planet Poontang. We know, because that's where we're from, m'kay?

* * * * *

See also: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Previously: Fleshbot's Top Ten Sex Toys of 2006, Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

· "Mr. Skin's Top 20 Movie Nude Scenes of 2007" (mrskin.com)

Congratulations are in order for Sara Jean Underwood, who has just been crowned Playboy's Playmate of the Year for 2007. Congratulations are also in order for her fellow Oregon State University students, since there aren't many college kids out there who can say they have chemistry (class) with a reigning Playmate . Of course, Miss July 2006 has probably missed a lot of classes over the last few months, what with all the mansion parties and TV appearances and basically being occupied by her Bunny-ly duties. (Look for her at the Kentucky Derby this weekend!) Hugh Hefner says she fits the bill that hasn't changed even after all these years: the elusive "girl next door" look. We've never seen any of our neighbors quite this naked, but perhaps we could ask to borrow a cup of sugar anyway. (Oh, and did we mention she's really good with pussies, too?)

· Playmate Of The Year 2007: Sara Jean Underwood (playboy.com)
· "Miss July named Playboy's 2007 Playmate of the Year" (sfgate.com)

See more of Sara Jean's crowning achievements after the gap.

- - -

· Sara Jean Underwood PMOY (hoochiemumma2.blogcindario.com)
· Sara Jean Underwood Is Playmate Of The Year (toxicmagazine.com)
· Sara Jean Underwood on MySpace (myspace.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Heather Vandeven, 2007 Penthouse Pet Of The Year (We Think), Remembering Recycling Anna Nicole, Cindy Margolis In Playboy (Finally), Playboy's "Girls of the Big 12", Kara Monaco, Playmate of the Year

It's deja vu all over again as Jessica Alba tops FHM's annual list of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World, beating last year's winner Scarlett Johanssen (who comes in at #3, bestill our hearts) and recouping the mediocre showing she made in FHM's list two and three years ago, where she came in at a paltry #13 and #57 respectively. While this is Jessica's first time in the Number One spot at FHM (and deservedly so), we seem to remember seeing her make the top of similar lists a few years ago, which leads us to believe that FHM's online babe watching community is a lot more conservative than we thought when it comes to finding new objects of adoration to vote for. They may also be a lot less discerning too, seeing how Jennifer Aniston beat both Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick and that Keeley Hazell didn't even make the top fifty. Guess there's no accounting for other peoples' taste—since our own, you know, is totally beyond reproach.

· FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2007 (fhmonline.com)
· See also: FHM 100 Hot Girls 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007 (archive @ torontopics.com)

Previously: FHM's All-Girl Kama Sutra, Top 50 Sexiest Bums (Or Are They?), Britain's Best Boobs: Move Over, Keeley!, Zoo's 100 Hottest Topless Pics of 2006, Meet Diana Chaifair: Miss FHM 2006, Maxim UK's Girls of 2007

· We thought these Ainett Stephens pictures would be a nice way to start your day. Why start working sooner than you have to? (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

· Single women have more orgasms than women who have partners—unless you want to count Magic Wands and Rabbits as partners. (smh.com.au)

· The British star of a classic children's fantasy movie takes his clothes off during his latest stage performance. No, not Daniel Radcliffe ... it's Sir Ian McKellen. Do you really want to know how much magic Gandolf is packing? (metro.co.uk)

· The 2007 Oberlin Women's Rugby Calendar aims to demonstrate "the ways in which our society has made the female body a commodity and how female rugby players have acknowledged and overcome these standards". Well, that and what a naked female rugby scrum looks like. (oberlin.edu - thanks AJ)

· Remember people, "nude beach" does not mean "go behind the willow trees and have sex beach." That's what highway rest stops are for. (firstcoastnews.com)

· Should art instructors be able to force you to draw nudes or fail you if you refuse? Can they afford not to? (theglobeandmail.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Even though we're well into March, we still get tips from folks pointing us toward babe calendars for 2007. And even though that's not very helpful from a time-keeping standpoint, we can't get too upset because let's face it—no one is using those things to keep track of their schedule. We also don't mind when one of these tips leads us to a gorgeous model that (we don't believe) we've stumbled across before. Katrin was born in Russia, but lives in Italy—a modella russa—and has amassed a nice online portfolio of fashion and art photos, including a healthy dose of artistic nudes. Plus, there's the whole calendar we mentioned for those of you who were completely overwhelmed by all those choices we gave you back in 2k6 and still don't have anything to hang on your wall. You better get with the program, people! The 2008 editions are going to start rolling in any day now.

· KATRIN - Modella russa (katrinmodella.com)
· Katrin Calendario 2007 by Paul Banner (areaticino.com)

Previously: 2007 Calendar Coverage

We know Mardi Gras is like so last week, but if you failed to make it to New Orleans this year, we're here to help you recapture some of the magic. We just received this man-on-the-scene video—shot by intrepid young boobhound Nick McGlynn and edited by Gawker Media video savant Richard Blakeley—that recreates the pageantry and nudity of the Big Easy's greatest holiday. If you've never been trapped on Bourbon Street on Fat Tuesday, this clip is a pretty close approximation of the actual physical experience: crowded, somewhat confusing, and lots of angry shouts for boobies. If you can get someone to throw small beads at your head after you press play, it will be just like you were there!

· Mardi Gras Coverage 2007 (xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Happy Mardi Gras!