Not only have teen girls taken over the 'nets, they've also taken over today's Flesh Flicks. These crazy youngsters will not stop on their path to world domination, unless it's to pleasure each other. In fact, these momentary distractions may be our only hope to escape their wrath, or else we'll just have to wait until they all turn 20—which these two ladies, of course, could not possibly have done yet. (If we say they're teens, they're teens; don't question it!)

- - -

· "2 lesbo teens fuck" (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Should we be worried about the fact that when we saw a video titled "British Woman Gets Fuct (sic) in the Shitter" we didn't know whether that meant that she gets fucked in the ass or she gets fucked in a toilet. (Or maybe both?) In this case, it's the former—and very little of that, actually—but the simple fact that we had to think about it has us a little unsettled and we're not even sure why. Should we be worried that we've chosen a line of work in which the phrase "fuct in the shitter" can have multiple meanings? Or are we just disappointed that we've haven't seen a good anal sex in the bathroom video in awhile? Ok, we just re-read that last sentence and now we definitely have some concerns ...

- - -

"British Woman Gets Fuct in the Shitter" (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The "hot girl stumbles on amorous couple and politely joins in" is a tried and true porn formula that never fails to disappoint. Still, it should be a little bit more of a challenge to talk a waitress into having sex with you in her section while she's on duty. We know porn script writers aren't the hardest working dudes in show business, but if an actress can ad lib a line about breaking the boss' plant, surely someone can concoct a better pickup line that this. Then again, maybe Audrey Bitoni is just that persuasive. If she said "Jump," we'd be the first to yell, "How high?"

- - -

· Audrey Bitoni Threesome (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The great poet, mathematician, philosopher Omar Khayyam once wrote

Khayyam, who stitched the tents of science,
Has fallen in grief's furnace and been suddenly burned,
The shears of Fate have cut the tent ropes of his life,
And the broker of Hope has sold him for nothing!

We don't really know what any of that means, but we do know that "Khayyam" means "tent maker" so we think that if the Big O were alive to see his name honored the way is here, he would not feel so burned by grief's furnace and whatnot. At the very least, he'd be sporting a pretty solid tent pole, dontcha think?

- - -

· Threesome in a tent! (xxxuploads.com)
· Omar Khayyám (wikipedia.org)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We try our best to understand foreign cultures (or at least their well-established sexual stereotypes), but the French continue to baffle us. We think it has something to do with that crazy language they speak. It doesn't make any sense! So how can we ever decipher the dramatic narrative of a clip like this? Clearly, the underdressed woman in this scene is upset about something and only two vaguely off-putting daddy-type figures can cheer her up. That much we've figured out. But what could be bothering her so much? A rental dispute? Lack of enthusiasm for her naughty maid career? Paris Hilton's jail sentence? If you happen to speak their bizarre alien tongue—or better yet, even if you don't—fill in the blanks of our imagination by putting your own theory in the comments. Sad French girls make us sad, and couldn't we all use a little cheering up?

- - -

· french slut suck (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Is it wrong to be jealous of inanimate objects? For starters, the "male" star of this clip comes equipped with a motorized tongue, which means no jaw strain and an inexhaustible supply of energy, at least until his batteries wear out. His rigid plastic anatomy means he doesn't ever suffer from any sort of performance problems (not that we ever do either, of course, but we've heard it can be a problem sometimes.) And if all that wasn't enough, he gets to spend several minutes being covered and smothered by the remarkably fit Desirae of Naughty At Home. The guy takes an awful lot of abuse and doesn't seem to feel a thing—and even his partner seems totally willing to do anything to make him happy. She does know he's a doll right?

- - -

· Fuck with Puppy (XXXUploads)
· Naughty At Home (naughtyathome.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As we said, our month-long wankfest is nearing its dramatic conclusion, so we're going to milk this sucker (so to speak) for all it's worth. Today we bring you the well-manicured stylings of babelog stalwart Alison Angel who takes you deep inside her world—and a surprisingly clean public restroom—to show you how she treats herself to a good time. Please keep any comments about "lending her a hand" to yourself. We'll handle the bad puns around here, thank you very much.

- - -

· Masturbation WC with Cam (XXXUploads)
· Alison Angel (alisonangel.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

What is it with babysitters? Sure they take great care of your kids, but afterward they always have to take advantage of the poor, unsuspecting Dad. How many hard-working family men have been trying to make their way in the world, when some young siren in a plaid skirt comes along and screws him (literally!) out of some extra spending money? Can't a guy hire some decent domestic help without having to fuck it on the kitchen counter? He's just a helpless innocent who has been lured into a dangerous game by an opportunistic nanny. Or he's a dirty old man who knows exactly what he's doing and will try whatever it takes to score some hot young tail. Either way.

- - -

· Dad does the sitter (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

No longer content to argue over such details as "Is it real or not?", the squirters of the world have given up trying to convince others that female ejaculation is legit and are now focused exclusively on distance. "How far can you go?" is replacing "Can you go at all?" as the mantra of the squirter. As you can see, some of them can go quite far, although we're not sure why you need a boxing ring for such a demonstration. The Guinness people are probably not on board with this yet, so all world records are currently unofficial, but it may be just a matter of time before squirting joins watermelon seed spitting and cow chip tossing in some bizarre 21st-century Olympic triathlon. Get your tickets now.

- - -

· World Record Cum Squrter (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We hope that legend-in-her-own-right Janine Lindemulder doesn't feel slighted by her omission from our classic pornstar roster earlier today: she should definitely see it as compliment that we don't consider her old enough to be lumped in with those so-last-century superstars. (Even if she's starred with some of them herself.) Still, it's hard not to label this pre-comeback, pre-tattoo threeway scene a "classic" all on its own. We know that history will, of course, see fit to include her among the giants of the industry, but for now she'll just have to settle for being thought of as a junior member of the club. Take it from us, when they stop asking for ID, that's when you should be depressed.

- - -

· Janine and Friends (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We've been hearing a lot about how tough the real estate market is these days, what with all those sub-prime bankruptcy foreclosures or whatever (we haven't been listening that closely), but does Gianna Michaels really have to stoop to fucking her clients just make a sale? And is the porn business so slow, that Gianna had to get a real estate license and a second job to pay the bills? Maybe she should take up a more stable occupation, like blacksmith or skywriter. Of course, knowing her she'd probably end up finding a way to have sex on those jobs too. Like they say: It's not really work, if you love what you're doing.

- - -

· Full Length, Big Tits At Work! (xxxuploads.com)
· Big Tits At Work (bigtitsatwork.com)

* * * * *

Previously: 818 Movie Locations: Where The Magic Happens, Gianna's Magic Boobs, Flesh Flicks Archives

There are certain advantages to having sex with someone that has the flexibility of a world-class gymnast. Aside from the ability to go at it inside almost any closet, there's the fact that you can attempt every position you've ever dreamed of without hurting them in the process. However, after watching this particular girl shapeshift into any number interesting, but highly impractical scenarios, at a certain point it becomes obvious that she's just showing off. And who wants to have sex with someone who is constantly trying to show you up? Oh, wait ... that's exactly the kind of person you want to have sex with. There's nothing better than someone who likes to leave a good impression on you.

- - -

· incredible gymnast (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Now this is what we think of when we think of bachelor parties. Well, fantasy bachelor parties anyway. In the real world, "stripper" rarely equals "hooker" and even though we've personally seen the hired help do some crazy things at the various stag fests we've attended, it almost never turns into an actual porn movie. However, a bunch of bored guys standing around in the background drinking beer and gabbing is totally accurate and adds a nice touch of authenticity to this scene. See, the only problem with real bachelor parties is that the guest lists are made up entirely of drunken horned up straight dudes ... and who wants to hang out with them anyway?

- - -

· Bachelor Party Fuckfest (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Party Report: "Bachelor Party" Is Good, Clean Fun

We hope your dream involves watching extended scenes of two big breasted babes in the middle of a dirty threeway, because that's what you're about to get. Our dream? Surviving the rest of this Friday so that we can crawl into the age-defying hyperbaric chamber where we slumber each weekend, infusing our bodies with magic elixirs that purify our mind and our souls until we emerge on Monday morning ready to do battle for the forces of good porn. Also, we would like a pony. Hopefully, someone gets their wish granted.

- - -

· My Dream! Full Length! (XXX Uploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

OK, we confess that this post make that earlier one look kinda silly. Photos of bendy girls are very nice, but it's hard for them to compete with a full-motion video of this chick shaking her acrobatic stuff. There's not much else we can say besides that she's very, um ... talented. If there was a circus somewhere that was only for children of certain adult ages, we think she'd make a great main attraction.

- - -

· Nude Flexible (XXX Uploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Nude Yoga: Get Bent (Into Shape), Flesh Flicks Archives

We hope no one feels we were being sexist during yesterday's in-class fuck session. We wouldn't want readers to get the impression that only female teachers give extra-curricular lessons to their students. Hot college girls want good grades too, and it's a well-known fact—in the Pornoverse anyway—that they'll do anything to get them. (Even if it takes a while to negotiate the transaction. Be patient.) Or is it really just that male teachers are just as slutty as male students are? The point is that no matter which gender you or your instructor happen to be, anybody can be inappropriate now then. Just make sure you have a classroom with sturdy desks.

- - -

· Big tits at school (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

In a monumental disaster for lovers of free porn—in other words, everyone—online hooligans took down video sharing site XXXUploads over the weekend, resulting in the loss of all of their content. All the blowjobs and threeways and rabbit fucking clips ... gone. The site has already started work on the long, slow process of rebuilding its inventory, but thousands of dirty clips have forever been lost to the digital gods—and for us that means a good deal of our Flesh Flicks archives are now obsolete. We apologize for any broken videos you may encounter while trawling our archive, but try not to take your frustrations out on your poor laptop. The best thing you can do at this point is remain calm and keep sharing your own videos with the world—otherwise the hackers will have won. We'll never understand what kind of sick monster would take joy in robbing the world of porn, but we think there's a special place for them in interweb hell, where miscreants are forced to watch blinking text, click endless pop-up ads, and wait for bad MySpace layouts to load for all eternity.

· XXXUploads (xxxuploads.com)

As as a sign of solidarity, here's a lesbian sleepover to get the ball rolling again.

· Lesbian Sleepover

Upload More on the hackery @ : GhettoWebmaster.com"Online Jihad: Porn site hacked on Easter Sunday"

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The eggs are all dyed and ready to hidden, the baskets are filled with candy, and you've got new plastic on all the furniture to accommodate the dozens of relatives you only see twice a year and don't really like that much anyway. However, you're not really ready for the holiday this weekend until you've gathered around the monitor for your seasonal dose of Easter Bunny porn. Spring is here—enjoy the holiday, pervs!

- - -

· Happy Easter! (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Teddy Fuckers!

We hear that there's a lot of religious stuff going on this week (we're not really up on current events), so we thought today would be the right time for some good old-fashioned erotic blasphemy. Because really—no matter what deity you choose to bow down before, we can all appreciate a good old fashioned nuncentric orgy. You'd think a guy would have to be pretty charming to get three different nuns to break their vows at the same time, but even the most pious brides of Christ can't resist overdubbed dialogue and a snappy decorative vest. Also, living in a convent for that long kind of lowers your standards.

- - -

· Nun Orgy Pt. 1 and Pt 2 (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photos by JAM Montoya: Sacred Smut, Porn Saints, On The Set: "The Cumming of Jizzus", Nunsploitation!, DVD Review: "The New Neighbors" (Redux), Erotic Blasphemy: Vatican Pin-Ups, Nun Fetish Porn, Erotic Nuns, Flesh Flicks Archives

In the movies storytelling is everything. But don't ask us to explain the story of this clip, since it defies all efforts to quantify it. From the undecipherable accents to the God-like voiceover to the bemused bartender to the guy from the "mean streets of Encino" drinking orange juice in an empty tavern, this scene only makes sense in the world of porn. What we do know is that Katja Kassin goes from entrance stage left to enthusiastic, virtuoso blowjob in under 20 seconds—which if we didn't know better would appear to be some sort of record. If only the people from Guinness kept track of such things.

- - -

· "A Day without whores-Katja Kassin" (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We really shouldn't have to tell anyone this, but apparently every once in awhile some guys still need to be reminded: if you want to come in a girl's hair, be sure to ask first. Unauthorized popshots not only ruin the moment and seriously jeopardize your chances of ever getting laid again, they make all the other dudes out there look bad. Shouldn't they be able to enjoy the experience too? And even if you're doing it with someone who makes her living as the star of a vaguely racist, hardcore porno site that doesn't mean you can't say "please" and "thank you." Didn't your parents raise you right?

- - -

· "Sperma macht die Haare sch n" (XXXUploads)
· Clip via Spring Thomas Interracial Teen (paysite preview @ springthomas.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The webcam is a remarkable telecommunications device that has enabled thousands of college students to embarrass themselves in front of the whole world without ever having to leave their dorm room. In fact, the internet was practically built on homemade strip teases and the first-time amateur sex scenes of pasty young adults. This extended montage honors that tradition with a nice selection of students gone wild—and with a soundtrack by Loverboy for no good reason good measure! It brings to mind the question of who is more foolish: the person acting crazy in front of the camera or the person who posts those moments of misspent youth on their blog. On second thought, forget we asked.

- - -

· College Teens (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The whole point of having sex in public is that you might get caught and therefore you have take measures in order to not get caught. So if you're going to have sex on a park bench, it makes sense to do it at night. But if you're going to do it at night, it doesn't make sense to bring along a guy shining a spotlight on your every move. (Especially if that dude has a habit of making loud, annoying comments while you're trying to fuck, but that's another post.) Then again, maybe you have to document it, because if you have sex in public and no one see it, it's almost like it didn't happen. (See: tree falling in forest.) So you do want to get caught ... but not really? Ugh, philosophy makes our head hurt.

- - -

· "public fuck" (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As we've seen dozens of times on Fleshbot over the years, human beings have a remarkable ability for improvisation, particularly when they've been backed into a corner and their options are few. These instincts are especially sharp when the goal is sex—for the horny person, no obstacle is insurmountable. Obviously, we don't endorse the following course of action the next time you run out of lube, but we do appreciate the philosophy that says sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Just watch out for those saturated fats. Sex is supposed to burn calories, not apply them directly to your ass.

- - -

· "out of lube?" (XXXUploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We've been told by people who know such things that blog readers love lists: they're simple, quick to read, and generate discussion. In fact, we know more than a few websites that rely on them pretty much exclusively—Top 10 this, Worst 8 that. So in that spirit we're presenting you with our latest Video Playpen roundup of the Top Ten Blowjob Videos We've Seen This Week. See, we're hedging our bets a little bit, because frankly there are a lot of blowjobs out there on the internet—and try as we might, there's no way to see them all. So we're not confident enough to proclaim these the ten best blowjobs ever. They aren't all new, they aren't all complete, and they certainly aren't definitive. But you know the old joke where the guy is asked to describe the worst blowjob he ever had in his life? (The answer: "Awesome!") It's a list ... it's blowjobs ... you really can't lose.

- - -

· Jeanna Fine in Dr. Fellatio (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· Red head twins (aka Pason and Danni Woodward) (Haporn)

- - -

· Great Facial! (PornoTube)

- - -

· great head (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· Awesome amateur deepthroat and swallow (Haporn)

- - -

· Eve Laurence (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· blowjob gangbang (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· Black-Haired Facial!! (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· Cum Sneeze (XXX Uploads)

- - -

· The Hippie Facial (XXX Uploads)

* * * * *

Previously: Video Playpen Archives, Flesh Flicks Archives

Yet another vision from our not-too-distant past has emerged to remind us how much we don't miss the days of hunting through message board forums and shady download sites looking for that probably corrupted porn file that we just had to see. It was only last week that Aylar Lie, the pornstar/Miss Norway contestant, returned to our lives via friend and (alleged) threesome-mate Lene Alexandra. Now, just a few days later we stumble upon a full-length clip of one of her famous scenes on XXXUploads. Coincidence? Probably ... but if you couldn't afford to splurge on a copy of "Cum Dumpsters 3" back in 2004, now you can see the real Aylar in action without even having to leave your browser. Isn't that the way it should be?

- - -

· "Aylar Lie Miss Norway Contestant Porno" (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Lene Alexandra's Boobs Are (More Than Just) OK, Aylar Videos

Is it just us or does this clip have the look and feel of one of those "voyeur" videos that's just a little too good to be the real thing? Like it's just a little too convenient to find an attractive couple fucking in your backyard in broad daylight? Especially one that isn't observant enough to notice the dude with the camera staring at you through the window about 15 feet away. Or are we just jealous because we don't even have a backyard or a hammock for people to be fucking in? It's almost enough to make us move back to the suburbs!

- - -

· my neighbour fuck in the garden (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We hope you had fun revisiting those famous Romanian gymnasts this week, but like Jerry Seinfeld after his notorious acrobatic encounter, you might have felt a little cheated. The nudity and handstands were nice, but admit it ... you wanted to see them take on the human "apparatus." We can't confirm that this girl is actual an gymnast—or Romanian—but she certainly is flexible and it's probably the closest you'll ever get to fucking an acrobat. Unless you are an acrobat, in which case you can probably just entertain yourself.

- - -

· gymnast girl fuck 1 (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

· gymnast girl fuck 2 (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We love fake holidays as much as anyone, so of course we're going to honor Steak and Blowjob Day. Celebrated on March 14 and billed as the Valentine's Day for guys (or girls) who hate all that mushy stuff, it's a straightforward way for loving couples to show their appreciation for each other with an exchange—or rather, a one-way transmission—of hot beef injections—and the best part is that you don't have to wrack your brain for a gift idea since it's right there in the name of the day! To do our part, we scrounged up some quality knob gobbling videos to help set the mood—but unfortunately ever since that Atkins guy died of a coronary new examples of steak porn are a little harder to come by these days. (Still, aren't you glad that we got through this whole post without once using the phrase "tube steak"?)

· Steak and Blowjob Day (steakandbjday.com)
· Thumbnail via the ever-classic "Super Model Meat Sports" (video @ transfatty.com)

Lots more mouth-watering meaty goodness after the jump.

- - -

· (I Deep Throat) Heather and friend (Haporn)

- - -

· Veronica (Haporn)

- - -

· Jenna! (Haporn)

- - -

· After School (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

· Awesome Blowjob (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

· trendy blowjob (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

See also:

· Flesh Flicks: Gloryhole Madness!
· The Art Of (Very) Deep Throating
· Blowjobs and Haikus

· Slate on Atkins Porn
· More Fast Food Porn
· Neo-Ronald(s)
· Hardee's Girl Commercial
· Paris Loves Meat
· More Meat and Porn
· More Women and Meat
· More Atkins Porn
· Super Model Meat Sports
· CGI: "Burgers & Blowjobs"

- - -

And for our vegetarian friends:

· How To: Make Your Own Veggie Vibrator
· Vagetarian Porn
· Vegan Sex Toys

This video clip really is every man's dream, isn't it? Well, maybe not the part with the rubber face mask that makes it difficult for you see or breathe, but being serviced by three girls at one time is pretty hot—even if some guys might prefer that one lady not be wearing a gas mask, since that kind of gets in the way of the servicing part. And some other dudes might wish that their hands weren't tied behind their back so that they could get in on all the touching and rubbing and stuff, while others would prefer that the soundtrack didn't remind them of being confined in some sort of underwater erotic torture chamber. Okay, so maybe it's not every man's dream, but it's much better than that dream we had the other night where we showed up to take our physics exam and realized we hadn't studied all semester and we were naked. We're pretty sure no wants to watch that.

· Every man's dream (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Ah, the humble glory hole: long the sexual locale of choice for anonymous thrill seekers, it seems to be enjoying a resurgence of sorts in the porn game. (Then again, did it ever really go away?) The practice seems to be looked down upon by some since there's an element of shame and guilt implied in servicing and being serviced by someone you can't see. The babe in this preview clip for paysite GloryHoleGirlz.com, however, couldn't be more proud of her accomplishments. In fact, we don't recall ever seeing any girl as enthusiastic about sucking on disembodied penises as she is. In this era of declining standards, it's nice to see someone approach their job with such vigor. The humans attached to those cocks—if they do indeed exist—were probably pretty happy too.

· "Gloryhole Slut Diva" (xxxuploads.com)
· More @ Glory Hole Girlz (paysite previews @ gloryholegirlz.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We realized after the fact that our threesome extravaganza yesterday was a little bit sexist. Not all threesomes have to be boy, girl, girl. It can also be girl, boy, boy. Or girl, boy, boy, boy. And boy. Ok, we suppose that's not a threesome anymore, but the point is that group sex isn't all about pleasing the guy(s). In fact, if you get too many guys, they just end up pleasing themselves and that's not quite as fun. The girl in this video, however, doesn't seem to be complaining about ratios. (Though she is complaining about being fucked like "you're fucking your granny". If there's a day to celebrate that as well, we don't want to know.)

- - -

· "anal gang bang" (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *
Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We know the first reaction a lot of guys will have when this video first starts will be something aong the lines of "There is no way that thing is real." Well, special effects have a come long way, but the truth is that some guys just get lucky down there. If it makes you feel any better, any poor sap born with such a monstrous trouser snake doesn't really have as many career options as the rest of us and pretty much has to become a pornstar to earn a living. Actually ... that probably doesn't make you feel better at all. How about this: they probably spend a fortune buying all that XXXL underwear. Yeah, that's it—having a giant cock is a real burden. Excuse us while we go write an angry letter to our parents' DNA.

· "Mr cuckold monster 18 inch" (xxxuploads.com, apologies for the horrible soundtrack)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We know Mardi Gras is like so last week, but if you failed to make it to New Orleans this year, we're here to help you recapture some of the magic. We just received this man-on-the-scene video—shot by intrepid young boobhound Nick McGlynn and edited by Gawker Media video savant Richard Blakeley—that recreates the pageantry and nudity of the Big Easy's greatest holiday. If you've never been trapped on Bourbon Street on Fat Tuesday, this clip is a pretty close approximation of the actual physical experience: crowded, somewhat confusing, and lots of angry shouts for boobies. If you can get someone to throw small beads at your head after you press play, it will be just like you were there!

· Mardi Gras Coverage 2007 (xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Happy Mardi Gras!

Remember that dude who went after his neighbor with a sword because he heard porn coming through the walls and thought someone was being attacked? We think we might have found what that guy was listening to. If we didn't know erstwhile pornstress Alisha Klass better we'd swear she was in terrible danger of death by Sybian, but since she stays on the damn thing for over ten minutes her painful moaning must be a good thing. The question is: can you last as long as she does?

· "Multi Orgasm Sybian" (xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Of all the joys that DVD has brought into our lives, few rival the fantasy-becomes-reality goodness of the Virtual Sex genre of porn: all those years of imagining what it would be like to fuck an actual pornstar and suddenly it was like you were actually there, complete with multiple angles and positions. (OK, and with someone else's dick—but isn't that a slight inconvenience to pay for the experience of banging Tera Patrick in some sort of dark and barren zero-gravity antechamber?) The technology hasn't advanced quite as far as we would have liked by now, but after the jump you can be in the moment again with a collection of virtual clips featuring your favorite adult superstars—including a bonus video of Clara Morgane auditioning for what appears to be a porno version of Star Wars. Best of all, thanks to the miracle of embedded video, you can press play on all of the clips at once and it will be like you're in the middle of your own personal all-star orgy! Isn't virtual reality fun?

Above: Jenna Jameson (PornoTube; more after the jump)

- - -

· Tera Patrick (PornoTube)

- - -

· Kobe Tai (PornoTube)

- - -

· Jesse Jane (PornoTube)

- - -

· Devon (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

· Nikita Denise (Haporn)

- - -

· Mercedez (xxxuploads.com)

- - -

· Clara Morgane (PornoTube)

* * * * *

Previously: DVD Review: "Virtual Sex with Mercedez", Flesh Flicks: Virtual Tera, "VirtuallyJenna" Sex Simulator, Virtual Sex with Kyoko Ayana, YouTube Watch Archives, Flesh Flicks Archives, Video Playpen Archives

We're not sure why this video is labeled as "Army" porn. There's no indication that any of the three people involved are in the military or that they are any sort of trained killers. However, it does sound as though they might be speaking French. So if all of that is true, and these are indeed members of the French army filming amateur porn in a dimly lit barracks room, well ... let's just say we understand why they haven't won a war in the last few centuries. (Sorry, France. They probably aren't even your countrymen, but we couldn't resist. We kid because we love!)

- - -

· Army amateur porn (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *
Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

If you've ever wondered what goes on behind closed doors at your friendly neighborhood orgy, it probably looks a lot like this. Or maybe this is designed to look what we think should be going on there; we imagine that most neighborhood orgies don't come equipped with multiple videos cameras and studio lights, but when regular Joes and Janes get-together for a little group sex we suppose anything can happen. Suburban households hide all kinds of secrets, don't they? Maybe you should go to a real orgy and find out for yourself. But bring your camera just in case you need some proof.

· Swinger orgy (10:37 @ xxxuploads.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

When you watch as much porn as we do, it's the little things that start to stand out—and by "stand out" we actually mean "distracts you to the point of insanity." For example, this a perfectly fine clip featuring a FFM threesome, like you would find in any moderately-financed porn flick. There's no reason at all to think anything is amiss ... until you start to wonder why that blonde girl's arm is in a cast. Why does it go all the way above her elbow? Is it somehow part of the plot of the larger movie or is she just a dedicated performer who won't be slowed by an injury? Is this really a casting or medical fetish movie in disguise? Most of all, why can't we take our eyes off it? Like we said, there's nothing at all wrong with the scene, but we defy you now to watch with it without your eyes occasionally drifting toward that bright pink beacon. Either we've been hypnotized or we're genuinely losing our minds. As long as you can watch porn in the loony bin, we guess it doesn't matter.

- - -

· "young threesome" (xxxuploads.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Cast Fetish, Gip's Dreams, Flesh Flicks Archives

Today's clip revisits one of our all-time favorite sites: I Feel Myself, which features pretty much exactly what its title describes. You see, today is Valentine's Day and we're not sure how to put this delicately, but ... a lot of us are going to be flying solo this evening. But we're here to tell you that that's totally OK: it's better to spend your evening like the gal in this video then in some disappointing drunken hookup that you'll be regretting until St. Patrick's Day (when you'll probably just end up in yet another disappointing drunken hookup situation again anyway). After all, it's just another Wednesday night when you get right down to it—so embrace your singlehood and enjoy that new episode of "Lost." Then maybe later on if you want to give yourself something special, go right ahead. They don't tell you to love the one you're with for nothing, you know.

- - -

· "grace masturbating" (xxxuploads.com)
· I Feel Myself (ifeelmyself.com)

* * * * *

Previously: I Feel Myself, Flesh Flicks Archives