By Dashiell Bennett, 6:35 PM on Fri Mar 30 2007, 9,375 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· Is Jenna Jameson laying low because of a botched vaginoplasty? We had no idea she was still a work in progress, and besides—isn't that like fucking with the Sistine Chapel or something? (nydailynews.com, second item)

· Britain's top football and show business stars are "terrified" by that bad girl Danielle Lloyd will tell their secrets in her autobiography. We're terrified that 23-year-olds can publish autobiographies. (dailystar.co.uk)

· Hard to believe that Christians would be upset by a nude Jesus statue made out of chocolate. We wonder if it can walk on a sea of peanut butter? (nydailynews.com, see also Gawker)

· A first-grader got suspended after accessing a naughty Paris Hilton cartoon on the school's computers. Later, the seven-year-old admitted that he even thinks she's overexposed. (centredaily.com)

· Just another reminder: if you have naked photos of yourself anywhere on your computer, somehow, someway, your political rivals will embarrass you with them. It's almost like the universe demands it. (stltoday.com)

· Here's a musical ode to a true living legend: Heather from I Deep Throat. This is what YouTube was made for. (YouTube)

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