· What's hotter than fantasizing about your favorite celebrity? Fantasizing about your favorite celebrity and their equally hot (yet non-existent) celebrity twin. Double your stalking pleasure. (worth1000.com, via cityrag.blogs.com)

· Jenna Jameson says she's "a big fan" of NFL über-quaterback Tom Brady. That must mean they're going to fuck soon! (bostonherald.com)

· Speaking of Jenna, if you haven't heard she's totally mainstream now. So is porn, which is why it's completely acceptable everywhere in the world — except for newspapers, radio, movie theaters, hotels, museums, post offices, public buildings, golf courses, grocery stores ... (brandweek.com)

· Booble is now a registered U.S. trademark, because it's a completely original word that doesn't resemble the name of any other prominent web company. It also has the word boob in it. (booble.com + avn.com)

· What's was up with the recent rash of celebrity crotch photos? We're sorry we asked. (galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com)

· Finally, it doesn't matter what family of primates you're from, when a female opens the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing nothing but a towel, there can only be one end result. (YouTube)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.