Fleshbot: Violet Blue

Hot Thigh Crushing Action: The View From Up There

Violet Blue — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:20:22 EDT

Sure, one could look at this series of hapless male faces caught between a pair of pretty girl thighs, decide it's nothing more than Yet Another Overly Specific Japanese Fetish™, and move on to the next eel wrangling website. But we prefer to think that there's a naughty schoolgirl named Mimi out there who is stalking the streets of Osaka luring unsuspecting Japanese salarymen into her tender trap, where she straddles and squeezes their smug mugs between her bare thighs until they cry while she takes keepsake Polariods for her own perverse pleasure before she runs away giggling, pigtails flying, into the night. (Which may not be too far from the truth either.) Hey, we can dream, can't we?

· BCCKS: Mimi (bccks.jp, via Pussycalor)

Amateur Porn @ HUMP-O-Ween 2008: Be Afraid

Violet Blue — Thu, 22 May 2008 09:00:13 EDT

Those crazy porn-lovin' kids at Seattle's Stranger are at it again! No, it has nothing to do with their embarrassing get-off-my-leg-in-public habit (well, mostly): turns out they're having another amateur porn festival. Every year HUMP! has been a showcase of superlative indie porn that's shown only during the festival and destroyed afterward—prizes are awarded and everyone comes away with plenty of happy memories and wank material that lives on in their minds (and squishy bits) for years to come. This year they've moved the festivities to the end of October and are promising to scare the pants off all comers with HUMP-O-Ween. The deadline (heh) is October first and all details are on their website. We just hope that the clown porn thing isn't too much of a trend this year. Eek!

· HUMP! 4: HUMP-O-Ween (thestranger.com)

Previously: Dan Savage's Porn Problem, Their Humps: HUMP! Amateur Porn Contest 2007

And speaking of bad videos: if you've been ...

Violet Blue — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:40:26 EDT

And speaking of bad videos: if you've been following the so-bad-it's-hilarious series of faux retro porn videos being released to promote Chuck Palahniuk's new book "Snuff", you won't want to miss today's short but sweet final entry "The Twilight Bone". Hey, if you survived "The Wizard of Ass" and "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang" you really have nothing left to lose—except of course, your soul and/or your sex drive. (YouTube)

"Chitty Chitty Gang Bang": Chuck Palahniuk Goes Deeper Into Cassie Wright

Violet Blue — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:50:15 EDT

With the imminent release of "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk's book "Snuff" it's never been more clear to us that (a) his marketeers have some really excellent drug connections, and (b) Palahniuk's obsession with fictional aging porn star Cassie Wright is as surreal as his novels. After the awesome fake retro "Wizard Of Ass" trailer comes "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang", another wacky sendup of classic porn tropes complete with bad dialogue, scary sound effects and ridiculous scenarios. Which is nothing like real porn, of course. (Maybe it's better?)

Still, to get the full effect of the Palahniuk's book (whose title may or may not give away the ending), one only need look at the author's bizarre "interviews" with present-day Cassie Wright to realize that being in a Palahniuk novel might just be like being inside his actual brain. Watch the faux "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang" trailer below, plus a video where Palahniuk himself interviews a Divine-inspired Cassie Wright as she reveals how "Chitty Chitty" was her "chance to do real acting". (Ed note: So why hasn't anyone made a real porn movie called "World Whore 3: The Whore To End All Whores" anyway?)

. . .

Fake trailer: "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang"

. . .

Chuck Palahniuk Interviews Cassie Wright, part 1:

· Cassie Wright (myspace.com)
· Chuck Palahniuk (chuckpalahniuk.net)
· "Snuff" by Chuck Palahniuk (Amazon)

"Sticky: The Movie" Will Touch You In New Ways

Violet Blue — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:30:33 EDT

While we never exactly understood why there had to be a whole month set aside to raise masturbation awareness when we spend nearly every waking moment devoted to the cause, we nonetheless welcome May's status as a worthwhile excuse to dwell on our favorite national pastime. That's why we found the trailer and teaser for upcoming masturbation documentary "Sticky: The Movie" to be so very entertaining. With a swingin' soundtrack, interviews with everyone from adult booth babes and sex toy manufacturers to controversial pro-masturbation advocate former Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders, we can't wait to see the final edit. No release date is available, but we'll be, uh, jerking around in Sticky's forums until the impending release. Enjoy Sticky's trailer and teaser after the jump.

. . .

"Sticky: The Movie" trailer:

"Sticky: The Movie" teaser:

· "Sticky: The Movie" (stickythemovie.com)

Twittergasms: The Real San Francisco Treat

Violet Blue — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:00:54 EDT

Cable cars, dot com gazillionaires and Golden Gates aside, San Francisco is known for many things: its values, homegrown institutions like Kink.com, and generally being the object of Sodom-by-the-Bay nightmares for the entire Bible Belt. And let's not forget that everyone's favorite city also midwifed National Masturbation Month, which is getting more tech-savvy every year. This time around the San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon—a fundraiser for SF's Center for Sex and Culture hosted by Nina Hartley on Sunday, May 25—will not only be doing its customary livecast of the wank-off, but has also launched a snazzy new blog and Facebook page and is promising plenty of Twittergasms to all comers. Read what a Twittergasm is, how to have one, and why masturbatrix extraordinaire Carol Queen says you should never, ever fake one after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: So what's a Twittergasm?
Carol Queen: A Twittergasm is a post to your Twitter profile indicating that you just had a real orgasm. You can use the codes ICSW (I came, so what?) and JOSW (jacking off, so what? related term to indicate you are jacking off), and we'll track, count and include your Twitgasms — though you can also add and create your own LOLTwitgasms if it gets you hot. By typing the character string: ICSW to your Twitter profile, you say with pride: I Came! Prudes of the world will be forced to realize once and for all, that no one really cares what adults do with themselves, and everyone does it. It's a way of coming out of the closet as someone who masturbates by posting to your twitter profile whenever you come. A secret handshake of sorts, only others who follow the Twittergasm profile, or who have read about the campaign will know, so your prudish friends will be left alone until they, too are enlightened.

We will be using the popular service Tweetscan to track Twittergasms in May and we will publish the results on the Masturbate-a-thon.com site and related blogs and social network sites. Twitterers can participate in national masturbation month in several ways.

(1) Become a follower of one of these profiles:
http://www.twitter.com/jackingoff (the profile off the masturbate-a-thon.com)
http://www.twitter.com/thebiggesto (a profile that tracks the orgasms of twitterers)

(2) Use this code on your twitter profile to indicate whenever you have an orgasm:
ICSW or JOSW when you jack off. (Hint: multiple orgasms can be indicated by using a colon and a number to indicate how many: ICSW:3) No faking!

(3) Ask your friends and Twitter followers to pledge to donate a certain amount to the Center for Sex and Culture for every orgasm you have in May. Visit www.masturbate-a-thon.com/twitter.php to register your twitter profile for participation in National Masturbation Month (May 2008) and send emails to your friends to ask them to make a pledge on your behalf. Send a link to that same page where they can sign up to donate as much as they chose for each time you come. Donors do not have to be on Twitter to participate.

Fleshbot: Can't we just fake it ten times in a row so we can hang out with all the cool kids?
Carol Queen: No, never! There are three very good reasons why you should never, ever fake a Twittergasm:

(1) Because faking orgasm — and Twitgasm — robs you of pleasure. It's a sign that pleasure-seeking (masturbation or other kinds of sex) is winding down, and orgasm isn't happening, you're not going for it, and you're not really telling anybody else you're not going for it. Not only that, you're not even admitting any of this; you're sending a false signal of "I'm done"-ness, when you could just as easily be authentic and say, "You know what? I'm done, let's go do something else."

(But some of you might protest that it's not romantic or sexy to just say you're quitting before the true Tweet of satisfaction. Maybe, but see Reason #2, and actually, authentic sexuality IS sexy. Plus, faking teaches other people to pleasure you the wrong way. If you're doing it while masturbating, you're teaching *yourself* to do it the wrong way: to give up before you're discovered real satisfaction. That's just not a good message to send. Instead, decide to use the energy you expend with a bit hot fake come to get a little more into your body, learn a little more about sex and arousal, fantasize about the things you *really* want to, and resolve to respect pleasure more.)

(2) It's not nice to fool people, but it adds to everyone's misinformation and fucked-upped-ness about sex and pleasure when we fool people re: orgasm. Because that affects other people's sexuality as well as out own — it means that partners are misled as to our sources of optimum pleasure (how self-defeating can you get?), it robs others of the intimacy-building experience of going REAL orgasm-hunting with us, and it misleads other people about what's real about sex.

(3) Twitter is a social networking endeavor, and like society itself, these only really function well when citizens are above-board, real, and express their real needs and experiences. Otherwise the whole entity will be flooded with fakeness, and people's initial desire — to be connected — is sullied. Besides, it wastes airspace that can better be used to send around genuine sentiments... and Twittergasms.

· Masturbate-A-Thon: Wankblog (masturbate-a-thon.com/wankblog)
· Twitter: jackingoff (Masturbate-A-Thon profile, Twitter.com)
· Twitter: thebiggesto (Twittergasm tracker, Twitter.com)
· Masturbate-A-Thon: Facebook (facebook.com)

See also:
· Masturbate-A-Thon (official site, masturbate-a-thon.com)
· Center for Sex and Culture (sexandculture.org)
· Carol Queen (carolqueen.com)

Ariel X Loves Her Job (And So Do We)

Violet Blue — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:50:02 EDT

We've had the hots for Ariel X for quite some time now, so when we heard she was passing through Fleshbot West and leaving her customary trail of broken hearts and handprints on asses in her wake we begged for a chance to ask her a few questions. Turns out, you have to beg really nice-like when you're talking to Ariel, and our knees are pretty bruised as a result. But finding out that her fantasy is being abducted and fucked by 5-10 girls was well worth the obedience lesson ... especially since that is so totally our fantasy too! Weird!

Read our exclusive interview and check out our deliriously hardcore gallery featuring a taste of Ariel's adventures after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: Do you like your job, or what?
Ariel X: There are so many things I love about my job. Can I use a separate sheet of paper if I run out of space? I love that I can pretty much make my own schedule. I love that I see the same people all the time... They become like a distant family. I love that I can be a mega slut on camera and none of my coworkers aren't going to judge me for it... It's not like that working, say, a retail job. I love that I get bragging rights: people will be flipping through a porn mag and stop on a page with a hot chick on it and I can say, "I tapped that". I love that I get to sit in a makeup chair and have someone play with my face. I'll stop here cause I literally will go on and on for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

FB: No, really. Tell us what you like about your job.
AX: If the person I'm working with is REALLY into the actions we have to perform for a scene I get really turned on. If the person I'm working with is into ME I get really turned on. If a person I'm working with hones in on my personal fetishes.... bruahhahah on it's over... I'm going to get wet all over the place

FB: Anything have the opposite effect?
AX: As far as the stuff I'm watching. I will watch anything, just for shits and giggles. You know actually it takes a lot to turn me on just watching something.

As far as scenes I work, I would have to say that the only thing that would turn me off working with the fine girls I work with is when girls start moaning for no reason or doing "porn talk" to me; telling me to "fuck their pussy" or saying "fuck yeah" in a high pitches almost "baby talk" voice. I like to know that the girl I'm working with is going to be into the scene and not just doing what she does for every scene she's ever done.

FB: What's the difference between sex you have for work and sex you have for yourself?
AX: I've never been tied up and fucked in my personal life. I also fuck a man in my personal life, which up to this date and time in history I have never done on camera (it's 4/21/08). I feel as if sex in my personal life is a lot more intimate only because I'm able to really "get in there"... IE I don't have to play to the camera, show my tongue, spread pussy for the camera. Sex in my personal life becomes all about actually pleasing someone and getting them off where as sex for work becomes about showing the audience what I'm doing.

FB: What do people say about your job that is just plain wrong?
AX: People seem to think that all porn stars have AIDS. At least the genius members of MySpace all seem to think that. That irritates me, just the fact that people are uneducated yet think they are some kind of omniscient being who can asses the goings on of everyone's life.

FB: What's your number one, on-camera, not-yet-done fantasy?
AX: I'd like to be abducted on film, blind folded and abused by 5-10 girls I've never worked with before and then have to guess afterward who's puss was on my face. awww that's hot. Or I'd love to have my BF tie me up and bang me..but that's not gonna happen....boooo BF!!!

FB: What can we look forward to, Miss X?
AX: I'm going to be revamping my website, ArielX.com. I'm getting my tits done too, so keep an eye out for Ariel X with breasts. :)

· Ariel X @ Kink.com (Fleshbot Gallery)
· Photos via Fucking Machines, Water Bondage, Ultimate Surrender, Wired Pussy and Whipped Ass
· Ariel X (arielx.com)

The Nipple Gauge: Getting Our Faces Slapped Has Never Been Easier!

Violet Blue — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:10:44 EDT

While the sales copy promises us that "Getting her top off has never been easier!" we think that stopping a pretty girl on the street and asking to see whether her nipples are "Needle Nips" or "Cigarette Butts" is probably only a good idea if you (a) like to get kicked in the nuts a lot, or (b) enjoy that special feeling of being arrested for harassment. Still it's hard not to giggle at The Nipple Gauge, a titty-tip sizer that can be yours for a mere $6.95 and has not ever been Seen On TV&trade. The site's got some amusing amateur GGW-style pics and videos of boob-measuring at—you guessed it—Mardi Gras, once again proving that drunken coeds and boob flashing are like fine wine and good company: two great tastes that go great together, and ones that are always rewarding on their own merits.

· The Nipple Gauge (nipplegauge.com)

The Bodacious Daphne Rosen: More Than Just Boobs (Though Those Are Amazing Too)

Violet Blue — Fri, 02 May 2008 12:10:07 EDT

Once we got past the amazing Daphne Rosen's more obvious attributes, we found ourselves grooving over the fact that the only thing hotter than a gorgeous girl with bra-busting curves is one with brains to match. Rosen's a regular at San Francisco's Kink.com studios, so when we here at Fleshbot West found ourselves with a chance to ~~drool in her general direction~~ ask her a few questions (not to mention grab an exclusive hardcore gallery), we leaped the tallest pair of obstacles for the chance. Feast your eyes on Daphne's talents and enjoy the interview after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: So hat's a nice girl like you doing in a place like Kink.com?
Daphne Rosen: Having the time of my life — I love playing with all sorts of things, different fetishes and such, and I love domming. I just got to dom a beautiful girl and had the time of my life!

FB: What do you love most about being a porn performer?
DR: I get to get paid for having sex. I don't know that there could be much of a better profession than getting to have sex, which is incredible, and then the added benefit of getting paid for it — can you really ask for more?

FB: What makes a scene really hot for you?
DR: Passion — P-A-S-S-I-O-N. I love passion in a scene.

FB: Is there any kind of porn or a sex act that turns you off?
DR: Yes: I don't like it when there's no creativity — when it's vanilla. And by that I don't mean what people typically mean by vanilla. But I like something different, something added to the scene.

FB: Do your boobs have names?
DR: They do. Lilith and Eve.

FB: Does your pussy have a pet name?
DR: Donna Troy. From Wondergirl.

FB: What false, lame or insulting perceptions do people have about your job that you hate?
DR: That we are all fucked up idiots that were molested. The more people you meet in this industry, the more you realize that we come from across the board. And so while that is the typical stereotype, to stereotype us at all is underestimating yourself, because there's so much more to us than you could ever expect. I personally am a strong feminist and I think the industry is very pro-woman. But there's a lot of girls out there that would prove me wrong.

FB: Any fantasies you'd like to try out on camera that you haven't done yet?
DR: There's one that I've had for the longest time, and I sort of half fulfilled it but not really. I love the idea of having sex on a stopped elevator. So even if it was filmed and not for real per se, I think it would still fulfill the naughtiness of it. I sort of had sex on a freight elevator, but it was not the same. There was too much room.

FB: Speaking for all of Fleshbot, will you marry me? We promise we'll try to share you with the rest of the world...
DR: Absolutely — when?

FB: What should we look forward to from you, what's next?
DR: Lots of stuff — you'll just have to wait and see. Watch DaphneRosen.com!

· Daphne Rosen @ Kink.com (Fleshbot Gallery)
· Photos via Hogtied, Whipped Ass and Sex and Submission

Fur TV: Because Watching Puppets Fap Will Never Get Old

Violet Blue — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:30:18 EDT

When we first saw the title of MTV UK's new raunchfest "Fur TV" we figured it was either a "Real World" for girls who don't shave or that MTV had decided to update "A Shot At Love" with a cast comprised entirely of furries (which we'd love). No such luck: "Fur TV" is a curious yet hilarious mix of "Meet The Feebles" and "Cribs", with a whole lot of lowbrow sex action and some very cute, underdressed UK babes humping puppets—which we also love, especially when their Paris Hilton sex video sendup gives us a taste of how hot that whole scene could have been, complete with a fluffy comeshot. Puppets hotter than Paris? Who'da thought?

· MTV UK: Fur TV (autoplay warning, mtv.co.uk)
· Fur TV: Sex Tape! (illegaladvertising.com, via Adrants)

Previously: Pornstar Bears, XXX Puppet Sex

The Lickable Lorelei Lee

Violet Blue — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:20:52 EDT

When we're not busy licking our monitors every time her picture appears, we're singing the praises of bright rising starlet Lorelei Lee as often as we can to anyone who will listen—especially since this beauty's got brains to match, as evidenced by her recent interview in the San Francisco Chronicle in which she talks about the realities of getting into porn. And now that we got our hands on an exclusive new gallery of lickable Lorelei doing all the nasty things we love to see her do (always with a big sweet smile) ... well, we're crushing on her more than ever. Check out all the hardcore hotness featuring Lorelei's scenes from Fucking Machines, Hogtied and Sex and Submission after the jump ... and try not to get your cinema displays too messy.

. . .

· Lorelei Lee @ Kink.com (Fleshbot Gallery)
· Photos courtesy Kink.com
· See also: Lorelei Lee: Sex For Money, Not Love" (sfgate.com)
· Lorelei Lee (myspace.com)

- - -

Previously: Lorelei Lee In "The Whore Within Me", Welcome Back, Lorelei Lee

We Haz Ur LOLpr0n Fucking Machines Contest Winnrz!!!1!

Violet Blue — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:00:45 EDT

O hai! Last week we asked you to send us your best LOLporn captions for a selection of photos from FuckingMachines.com ... and you splooged us with entries so hilarious that a half-chewed gummi boob actually shot out of an intern's nose while we were going through them. (We swear!) And because we received so many good ones, the LOL voices in our heads made us give away a grand total of five one month Fucking Machines memberships.

That's sledd's co-winning entry for Photo #1 above; see the rest after the jump.

. . .

Teh Winnrz!!!1!

Photo #1 (Co-Winner):

- by Otiose

Photo #2:

- by QuinnM32

Photo #3:

-by Nobilis

Honorable Mention:

- by Xniphobe

. . .

Winners: To claim your one month FuckingMachines.com membership leave us a message on our commenter profile page, which you'll find here; include your date of birth and a valid email address that we can use to set up your account. (Be sure to check the "Make this message private" box when you leave your info!) We'll send you your login info at the email address you provide.

Everyone else: Look for another Fleshbot LOLprOn contest, coming soon ... kthxbaai!!!1!

U Can Haz Free Robopr0n: Fucking Machines Contest Giveaway!

Violet Blue — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:30:19 EDT

A giant thrusting robocock might be no laughing matter for the hotties at Fucking Machines, but after all this time we still find plenty of LOL-worthy moments while we're toiling in the porn mines. So we're challenging you, dear reader, to come up with the funniest LOLpr0n (totes [TM]!!!1!!) captions to one of three images from FuckingMachines.com ... and three lucky winners will receive a free one month membership to the site. More details—plus an exclusive bonus gallery!—after the jump.

- - -

Even though we've recently been told that every time someone says "I can haz" god kills a kitten, we still believe in our hearts (and squishy bits) that the full potential for applying LOLspeak to photos of girls having their pussies stuffed by robots until they squirt with orgasmic glee has yet to be tapped. So we're tapping it ... with your help!

All you have to do is make us laugh until we choke on our mouthfuls of gummi boobs ... and you'll win a free membership to the deliriously excellent Fucking Machines.com (which is now viewable in PicLens 3D format for added hotness).

Select one of the three large images below and tell us your LOLcaption in the comments for this post, (Don't forget to tell us which image you're captioning.) Even better, use one of them to create your own LOLporn pic and upload that as your comment. We'll announce the winners next week and will contact you via your Fleshbot comments account page to get you your prize. (First time commenter? Go here to register.)

For inspiration, see where it all began ... or where we made it end up.

- - -

· Image #1:

· Image #2:

· Image #3:

- - -

And for even more inspiration ...

· Fleshbot Exclusive: Fucking Machines Gallery (fleshbot.com)
· FuckingMachines (fuckingmachines.com)

"Hey There Vagina": Singing Pussy Is No Laughing Matter

Violet Blue — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:46:46 EDT

Some might look at "Hey There Vagina" — a parody of Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah" that's been making the video sharing rounds lately — and merely giggle and shrug in a "those crazy kids!" kind of way. But when you're as cracked out on chocolate dick hats and pussy gravy as we are, it becomes a perfect storm of a whole new kind of vulva-tastic Goatse goodness. Because when we're all alone at night wandering the darkened halls of Fleshbot Central, singing about monkey pussy is one thing ... but having visions of vaginal football excretions performed to lo-fi acoustic songs about cooters reaches a new level of porn-flavored hell. You've been warned.

. . .

· Hey There Vagina (Monkey Version @ youporn.com - thanks Eddie!)
· Hey There Vagina (slideshow version @ youporn.com)
· Hey There Vagina (original parody/non-explicit version @ youtube.com)

Geek Girls Online: Where The L33t Meet

Violet Blue — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 12:12:28 EST

Lest you think that the term "geek" only describes one particular kind of eyeglass-wearing, D&D dice-tumbling genus, along comes a site like Geek Girls Online to remind us that there's a flavor of geek girl to satisfy any nerd fantasy you may have no matter how you happen fap, frag, or frack, depending on how you roll.

A nice selection of free samples gives a taste of what's actually a hardcore amateur site, despite all the mild-mannered trappings — and while in some photosets the "geek" part only means a girl stuffing D20's up her cooter while giving a blowjob, others are more creative and sexy-cute, like the curvy girl who falls asleep and is tied up and violated Gulliver-style by her Magic*: The Gathering figurine collection until she awakens and ... well, you get the idea. Sure, some of those capes and swords and comics may just be window dressing, but it's all worth a peek.

· Geek Girls Online (membership previews @ geekgirlsonline.com)

*Ed note: Yes, we corrected the spelling. Happy?

Splosh A Girl: When You Care Enough To Send The Very Best

Violet Blue — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:31:41 EST

Giving a girl a box of chocolates for Valentine's day is so over; according to what we're finding in all the sweet free samples at Splosh A Girl, what a girl really wants for Valentine's Day is for you to take that heart-shaped box, melt down the contents, and then douse her with it both literally and liberally. There's something so cheery, so right-with-the-world about seeing how silly and giggly and smiley the amateur girls here get when they're pied, slathered with sauce and smeared with all kinds of custard and slippery confections that it's impossible for us not to want to try it ourselves. Except now we can't find the interns ...

· Splosh A Girl (sploshagirl.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: Splosh Me!

Nerdy (and pervy) as we were, we're been ...

Violet Blue — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:41:26 EST

Nerdy (and pervy) as we were, we're been fans of the many variations of ASCII pr0n since, like, forever — and now some dedicated ASCII fetishist has updated and expanded the Wikipedia ASCII pr0n article so we can feel as informed as the next command-line wanker. (en.wikipedia.org - thanks R; thumbnail via asciipr0n.com)

Freaks On MySpace Would Make Rick James Proud

Violet Blue — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:21:47 EST

Not a collection of circus performers with MySpace pages, which is what it would be if this hardcore amateur blog was instead dedicated to the art of oddities and sideshow specialties. (Not that the girls on display don't have some very obvious specialties.) Freaks On MySpace is a nasty tribute to adult ladies (mostly strippers with MySpace pages) who post amateur nudie pics and ass-shaking videos, with respectively scraped thumbnail images and embedded videos, and their MySpace page links. FoMS states, "just pics of LEGAL AGED myspace jumps, hoes, skeezars, doodlebops, etc.. you get the picture. Sorry, no white girls......they bore us. Mostly black, latino, and other mixed young ladies for your viewing pleasure (...)". Thus the age-old expression, "Put it on MySpace, and they will come. (And blog it.)"

· Freaks On MySpace (freaksonmyspace.com, via del.icio.us)

If it is indeed Jason Williams (of "Flesh ...

Violet Blue — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:29:21 EST

If it is indeed Jason Williams (of "Flesh Gordon" fame, not the NBA star known ironically in this context as "White Chocolate"), who posted a recent Los Angeles Craigslist ad, it looks like some lucky writer could partner up for another "porn star tell-all" for the next Judith Regan bestseller. And hopefully said writer can also dig up the rest of Williams' supposedly salacious 1970s porn exploits, as our results are looking a little limp. Not that we didn't love his star turn in "Alice in Wonderland: The Porn Musical", because we did. (laist.com)

While Brazil delivers the finest Carnaval, ...

Violet Blue — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:17:00 EST

While Brazil delivers the finest Carnaval, prettiest trannies and most abundant population of sex workers in possibly the whole world, the clientele of Rio's most popular prostitute nightclub were just dealt a "blow" of a different kind: Rio's governor has declared infamous nightclub "Help" to be state property and will convert it to a museum as early as March, putting up to 1000 workers... elsewhere. We're pretty sure the new museum won't be a destination for the Sex Workers' Art Show 2008 tour. (brazzilmag.com, thanks riojoe.com)

Exclusive: Nerd Girl X Talks Nerdy To Us

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:02:23 EST

There's no shortage of 1337 lust around the sekrit underground Fleshbot colo where we keep the fembot interns in training, but give us a little whiff of explicit girly geekery and we're all over that nerd babe action almost faster than the girls at Nerd Girl X can make a resplendently retro joystick disappear. Oh, and they've also got cute geek lust comics, articles, a shop, and a roster of girls who think geek in creative sets from games to cosplay. We made some small talk with the h4wt amateur paysite about port sniffing and exchanging packets, and got an exclusive gallery just for you, after the jump. (And if you didn't understand much of what I just wrote, just go look at the nerdy hotties sharing all their warez with us after the jump.)

. . .

· Nerd Girl X (nerdgirlx.com)
· Fleshbot Exclusive: Nerd Girl X Gallery (fleshbot.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Revenge Of The Nerdcore Babes, More Nerdcore: Naked Gamers, Linux Sluts Gallery, Geek Pron 3.0, Geek Fantasies, Naked Czech Computer Geeks, Spanking Perl Geek Girls, Hot Circuit Porn

Carnaval In Rio 2008

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:01:30 EST

Unfortunately the Fleshbot Transdimensional Teleporner (patent-pending) is on the fritz, otherwise we'd have transported ourselves to Rio for Carnaval 2008 to soak up the outlandish, truly astoundingly extravagant pageantry on parade ... oh, and all the astoundingly hot babes with all their jiggly, sweaty bits on ultra-glamorous display. Fortunately for us, we will always have Flickr to show us what we missed, and as soon as we can get the Teleporner to send an intern through time and space without interdimensional tentacle monster violation (or arrive with clothing intact) we'll be bringing you live coverage ourselves. Until then, ogle the beautiful boobies, butts and sequin-studded packages of all manner in a few of our favorite photosets. (Note: some Flickr users might want to check their "safe search" settings in order to soak up all the fleshy beauty captured by these photo pros.)

· Carnaval 2008 by Sergio Fonseca (thumbnail image via Flickr)
· Brazil - Carnival - Rio de Janeiro by sartori.angelo (Flickr)
· Quasebart: Carnaval (tag @ Flickr.com)
· See also: Carnival @ The Sex Carnival (thesexcarnival.com)

A "sex ring" of madly texting young Japanese ...

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:28:44 EST

A "sex ring" of madly texting young Japanese schoolgirl sex workers was recently busted when their use of text shorthand to solicit older male clients was decoded. Arrests have been made, but now we're wondering if our editor's bourbon-soaked use of LOLcat-speak editorial decrees during Mardi Gras means more than we think. No wonder the interns twitch nervously looking at their iPhones. (mdn.mainichi.jp, via shakewellbeforeuse.com)

Whether you celebrate with gifts, your right ...

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 10:31:18 EST

Whether you celebrate with gifts, your right hand or Craigslist trolls, Valentine's Day is right around the corner and shopping tips are hitting the blogs: learn how to buy your honey undies (video) or create the ultimate private sex toy or lingerie wish list (to give or get) before your local jack shack runs out of lube and you're left holding the ... bag. (funkybrownchick.com + tinynibbles.com)

Casual Fridays at the Fleshbot offices will ...

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:50:08 EST

Casual Fridays at the Fleshbot offices will never be the same now that we've spotted the invaluable resource to liquid latex application, removal, use (and mini-galleries of that rubbery second skin) provided at Deviant Liquid Latex. When we get our blogger asses unstuck from our office chairs, we'll let you know how it all worked out. (liquidlatex.net)

Leave it to the delightfully debauched denizens ...

Violet Blue — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:02:58 EST

Leave it to the delightfully debauched denizens of New Orleans to add a twist to the time-honored tradition of the "show us your tits!" bead exchange: just for Mardi Gras 2008 Bead Whore takes on the prudes and helps revelers make matters perfectly clear in the bead-trade department. Not that we'll be complaining when the tittie pics start hitting the internets (hopefully soon)... (nola.com)

If you've ever wondered what it takes to ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:01:01 EST

If you've ever wondered what it takes to work your way into the pants of certain Fleshbot contributors, here's a hint—find your local Apple store ... fast. (Don't worry, Windows fans. Some of us are still PC compatible.) (Gizmodo)

Come Machine Translator Needed: Mop Skills A Plus

Violet Blue — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 11:45:27 EST

Please do pardon us if you've seen this one before, but the many-dicked bukkake machine and sloshy, sloppy muff-mashing Japanese beauty beneath the machine is like a bag of chips: you can't stop once you've started watching, and you have to share it with everyone just to be fair. Whether it's right or wrong. But in the world of DIY, fake bukkake, and the retroness of said memetastic spooge-fests, there is no right or wrong, there's just spurts and squeals and puddles of what looks like marshmallow fluff mixed with olive oil, and a girl who looks vaguely happy to be in the center of the whole bizarre and compelling sloppy sandwich. If anyone knows what she's squeaking, please do let us know in the comments, for as you all know, truth in porn and archival quality posts are what we strive for here, plus I'm just dying to know if it's actually a hair conditioner commercial in disguise. Apols for the pixelation in advance.

· Cum Machine: Another Weird Japanese Invention

Previously: How To: Make Your Own Facials, Money Shot Megagallery, Hentai Cum Sculptures, Facial Forum, Cummin' At Ya, Federazione Italiana Gioco Bukkake, ArtiFacial, Fake Monica Bellucci Facial, Fake Celebrity Facials

2008 AVN Expo: Someone Else Was There Too?

Violet Blue — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 11:15:15 EST

Though some of us stayed home and ogled the occasionally dee-licious porn parade , many allegiant operatives were (as they say) hard at work covering AEE all for their very own blogs, pleasures, and these things we've heard of called "jobs". Peruse the indy plus porn MSM coverage and decide who got off working at it, or who were workin' it. The more interesting coverage is (ahem) cherry-picked for your perusal below... And we'll call it as we see it, kiss our pranky CES siblings from across the Strip, and even yawn at the predictable outcomes, even if we shall remain the blog whose name cannot be spoken.

· Welcome to Pornstarville: Population Everyone (xbiz.com)
· Eros Zine's Thomas Roche: Adult Entertainment Expo 2008 (pic of Adrianna Lynn via/photos @ flickr.com)
· "Jenna Jameson Confirms Retirement at AVN Awards" (xbiz.com)
· Audacia Ray: Adult Entertainment Expo, Las Vegas 2008 (photos @ Flickr.com)
· AVN Announces 2008 Adult Movie Awards Winners (xbiz.com)

. . .

Update! More, more, more ...

· Freaks & Geeks (lastnightsparty.com)
· Vivid Alt hosts the AVN afterparty @ Beauty Bar (mojorepublik.com)

Olga Kurylenko: A Bond Girl We're Truly Happy to See "Bound"

Violet Blue — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 11:15:14 EST

In the world of James Bond, girls come and go, and only a few leave their mark in our erotically malfeasant repertoires (and typically, it's the Bond girls of yore, busty and oozing the sexy we lick up like Cheez Whiz on a highly refined spoon). But Olga Kurylenko, the newly-announced Bond girl (for November's Bond #22) may just surpass the rest in one hot, tied-up minute as it seems she has exactly the kind of past we can get behind, in front of and just generally all over: it seems Ms. Kurylenko has a taste for shibari (rope bondage, at least in on past video) and no issues with sharing the boobage. As it should be: we hops this takes Bond back to his roots, when Bond's were sexy and the girls were... sexier.

· Latest, nudest Bond Girl is fit to be tied (pics + video @ tabloidbaby.blogspot.com)

Driven by Boredom Becomes Non-Sequitur At AEE

Violet Blue — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 10:45:09 EST

We roll up our sleeves and get our hands filthy when we need to (read:AEE), and manage to keep the home fires of babes burning while boobs are bursting like Alien pod creatures and Abby Winters honeys make Vegas actually look fun for about two minutes. But if there were anyone's shoes we'd love to step in and slip into the lubed-up, behind-the-scenes antics, it would be Sir Driven By Boredom himself, Sir Nate Smith, aka dbb. See why we'd trade Converse with him in a porny minute in his gritty, totally wacked galleries...

· Stripper Sideshow Sex Party - 1.10.08
· Circle Bar @ Venetian Casino - 1.10.08
· Vegas Trip Day #2
· Sailor Vega
· Vegas Trip Day #3

· All @ drivenbyboredom.com

G4 At AEE: We're Dizzy With Pre-Press Anticipation

Violet Blue — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 11:00:15 EST

Apparently for the second year in a row, G4 and its venerable hosts Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn "will guide viewers on a VIP tour of the must-see events, products and interviews at the famed convention." For two whole hours, which is like, probably way more time than might be necessary, but those of us who are sooper-excited to watch from afar will be totally ogling the broadcast event which will be airing Sunday, January 13, at 10pm ET/PT. Why? Because we totally dig their co-correspondents Jessica Drake, Carmen Hart, Kristen Price and Kaylani Lei — interviewing Stormy Daniels, Randy Spears, Tera Patrick and talking about sexy tech stuff only at AEE. That, and we just have to be more than a little jealous that besides G4, we know of someone who had a bit more fun at the the Vegas convaentionapalooza's than we did. Porn, from tech nerds, should be polished and fun. Peep it, or we'll send Gram to your house.

· "G4 Makes Sure What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Stay in Vegas with Exclusive "Adult Entertainment Expo '08" Coverage": G4TV (Sunday 10PM @ g4tv.com)

Previously: Tera Patrick Is In Your Pants

Shiny Super Heroines

Violet Blue — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 13:00:30 EST

Shiny Super Heroines has a lot going for it: pretty women in peril, nice previews, girls in bondage predicaments, girls escaping from said predicaments, all in the finest cameltoe-inducing material ever created by the petrochemical industry. Spandex. Acres of it, though not acres like the slightly unsettling head-to-toe larval-ish fetish zentai, but instead the wonderfully all-American version where good and bad converge and it's all an excuse to pretend we're spinning around and around in circles waiting for the *pow* of transformation... Until the interns nervously cough to get my attention from under their desks, and I stop spinning in my office chair and we all go back to "researching" the bazillion .dpi images and free videos at the shiny spandex ladies site.

· Shiny Super Heroines (previews @ shinysuperheroines.com)

Previously: Sexy Superheroine Art by Adam Hughes, Brian's Page: Mainstream Damsels In Distress, Superheroines In Peril, (Lots More) Superheroine Fantasies

Isobel Wren: The Crush Objects Pile Up

Violet Blue — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:15:30 EST

It was enough to make our nerdy undergarments all problematic-like to see that Isobel Wren plays Agent Codebreaker ("spaced-induced brains and nature-induced beauty") on superheroine site Spandexterity, but also describes herself as "just your average totally horny, totally nerdy, nympho girl" and stands behind her online sexual adventures with at least one genuinely soaked pair of panties after each session she does... Well, then she revealed that she "built my desktop computer myself and I use Linux and Unix systems" and we passed right the fuck out. And woke in the usual puddles, pawing our computers for more Wren. We're sure once you see her super codebreaking everything you'll feel the same way, too.

· Isobel Wren (official site @ isobelwren.com)
· Agent Codebreaker (spandexterity.net)
· Isobel Wren: One Model Place (profile @ onemodelplace.com)
· Isobel Wren: Dungeon 21 (profile + samples, dungeon21.com)
· Isobel Wren: Yahoo Group (groups.yahoo.com)
· Isobel Wren: MySpace (myspace.com)

Starri: Miss Nude Internet 2008

Violet Blue — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:15:30 EST

We're not exactly sure what the algorithmic, highly scientific computational methods makes one girl Miss Nude Internet for any particular year over another (except maybe people holding up numbered placards after they trot around a ring at AEE a la "Best in Show": Boobage: 8; Grooming: 9; Obstacle Course: 10, etc.). Yet this year's Miss Nude Internet 2008 has been crowned and it's blonde and busty Starri, who somehow outperformed Fleshbot bosom-buddy Jesse Jane, but joins the ranks of friends like Raven Riley. Congrats, Starri!

· Miss Nude Internet Announced (xbiz.com)
· Naughty Starri (official paysite @ naughtystarri.com)
· Miss Nude Internet (Starri gallery @ missnudeinternet.net)
· Naughty Starri TGP's (galleries @ yourdailygirls.com)

Diabetic Tops Cleared To Use New Jawbreaker Ball Gag

Violet Blue — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 09:45:30 EST

Our crafty pals over at Stockroom have devised yet another deliciously dastardly device they introduced at AEE this week: the Jawbreaker Ball Gag. Buckling behind the head, it's like the standard ball gag you'd like to put on everyone you wish would shut the hell up, except it's like a nice way of saying shut the hell up because it comes in yummy nummy flavors, so we guess it really means, "can you please stop talking, thank you, here's a candy." That is, until they come out with their sour and fire flavors, well, then we'll see who's talking. Us. Meanwhile, we'll have to settle with loud and bratty bubblegum porn, and one of our favorite films of all time, which we really don't think Stockroom named their new BDSM toy after.

· Stockroom's New Product Page (watch for update @ stockroom.com)

Previously: "Sex And Candy" Book Party: Eat Your Heart Out, Bubble Gum Porn: Chew On This, Lollipop Blowjobs

Thighmaster Sexerciser Gives Us Pussies of Steel

Violet Blue — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:15:30 EST

Okay, technically the "us" in the title is only a fraction of the Fleshbot staff, but it happens to be the fraction pressing "publish" right now—with my rock-hard glutes, titanium clit, utterly toned thighs and vagina of steel (patent pending). It's all thanks to the Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy, which has nothing on Fonda or Summers, but everything on us porn bloggers who drool over hot babes all day eating nothing but penis, vagina and anus shaped novelty treats (save the occasional Penis Pasta carb infusion, for which we'll really need to flap our thighs with this thing to work off). Sure, they're all at AEE right now, but I'm working out, though I may accidentally crush my next dildo into dust. Now, if I could just get this thing to shoot a death ray from the ThighMaster housing when I flex, my work here is done.

· Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: Workout Partners, Miss Candy's Domination Training: No Pain, No Gain, Sexercises!

Meet Reagan Maddux (Or Maddox, If You Swing That Way)

Violet Blue — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:00:30 EST

There seems to be a bit of debate as to how Ms. Maddux spells her name, or it could be that any blogger who comes within a keystroke of the girl who's first in line for "First Official Fleshbot Crush Object 2008" gets too sticky-fingered to get it right. (She's also first in line for mustache rides! If I only had a mustache, sigh...) At any rate, get your iPhone's pad wipe or a fresh keyboard ready when you peruse her outrageously tasty galleries and see why we're seeing more sweetly shaved pussy, gorgeous ass and smoldering Gothy looks than spell check right now.

· Marc Goldstein: Mm Reagan Maddux Punkitude (image via, pbase.com, via I Think That's Hot)
· reagan maddux (gallery set @ flickr.com)
· Reagan Maddux: MySpace page (profile @ myspace.com)
· Reagan Maddux by Robert Vicchiullo (turk-182.com)

The Essence of McLovin: A Little Dab Will Do It, Thanks

Violet Blue — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:45:30 EST

As an adjunct to the Region 2 "Superbad" DVD release, the mock ad for The Essence of McLovin is now making its way 'roud teh intertubes, and we'd be remiss not to show you what The Essence can do, viral marketing or no. But the air fresheners, now we're really wondering why we aren't seeing such classy plug-in scented Glade-style purple pussies from the likes of PipeDream or TopCo... but then again, regretfully (or not), all we have to do is wait. The video is embedded after the jump; what happens with The Essence is up to you.

· The Essence of McLovin (justpressplay.net, thanks Arya)

...

· Embed from Fun House: The Essence of McLovin (funhouse.bubble.ro)

DVD: "E For Eva"

Violet Blue — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:15:30 EST

We're not sure if this is some kind of alphabet test Evil Angel director Jonni Darkko is putting us through, but after watching the trailer for just-released "E For Eva" (available as of yesterday), we're fine to sit through any porn star spelling bee name tests Darkko wants to put us through. (We know we'd win, okay?) Wonderfully, Darkko's style has gone from enjoyably spare to lush-meets-supercharged, if luscious Eva Angelina's scenes are any indication of his new flavor, and the DVD boasts nine scenes, coming in at 2 1/2 hours of Eva getting it every which way but loose. Or maybe it's just a little looser afterward, but watch the trailer, it's in a zillion formats and it's pretty damn hot.

· DVD: "E For Eva" (trailer, evilangel.com)

Previously: DVD: "Suck it Dry", Evil Angel Direct