• #tehinternets

    Video Playpen: The Greatest Internet Porn Videos OF ALL TIME!

    You've heard about the concept of "the wisdom of crowds", right? It basically means that although you by yourself are an idiot, when you're surrounded by a lot of other idiots your collective idiocy merges into one giant superbrain that makes excellent decisions: if everyone agrees, you can't go wrong! Well, that's basically what the internet has become, because every website we come across—especially ones devoted to say, free porn videos—has instituted some sort of rating or popularity system in order to determine what content is the absolute bestest there is. So we've gathered the highest ranking clip from five popular (and remember, popular = "the best") video sharing sites and gathered them here so you can see that wisdom at work. Now you may be thinking to yourself, "I've seen better videos than these on the web before," but what do you know ... you were wrong! Are you seriously going to second-guess the entire internet? Didn't think so. More »
  • #hohoho

    Video Playpen: Stocking Stuffers

    Yes, it's been well established that "Christmas porn" pretty much just means "babes in Santa hats," but it can also mean so much more. For example, sometimes the dudes are wearing the hats! Also, sometimes there's a tree in the background! These are subtle differences to be sure, but since you've chosen to spend your Noel with us, it's only fair that we use our trained eyes to help you get in the holiday spirit. If this collection of XXXmas videos doesn't make you want to roast your chestnuts, then you, Scrooge and the Grinch will have a lot to talk about while you play with your lumps of coal. More »
  • #videoplaypen

    Video Playpen: Pool Party!

    The end of summer not only means the end of beach season, it also means that you probably have to close up your outdoor pool, which is really too bad. From what we've learned, it's an excellent place to meet and greet fun new people. (Of course, by "greet' we mean "fuck.") We don't know whether it's the swimsuits, the sun, or the diving board, but pools seem drive people wild—and for some reason they also generate a disproportionate amount of group sex opportunities. It must be because of the easy clean up afterwards. After showing him such a good time, it's the least the pool boy could do. More »
  • #videoplaypen

    Video Playpen: Hitting The Bottle

    It's Friday, which means as soon as the boss' back is turned it's time to sneak out early and find a bar where you can kick back and raise the old elbow. (Or just crack open that fifth of Cuervo that's hidden in your file cabinet and pass out under your desk until Monday morning. Not that we know anyone who would do that.) The only danger with either strategy is that once you've got a few in you, that wine or beer or liquor bottle might start looking pretty good ... and then we all know what happens next. The following group of tipplers may or may not have had one too many before "recycling their empties". But whatever they're doing, it's better than drinking alone. More »
  • #videoplaypen

    Video Playpen: "Caught" In The Act

    If there's one good thing about this ultra-paranoid, hyper-surveilled government nanny state our world has become, it's that pretty much every sex act that takes place anywhere gets caught on camera. Security cams, web cams, cellphone cams ... if you're getting busy anywhere that isn't a pitch black airtight container, chances are it's being recorded and will eventually be uploaded to the web. There are so many different places for you to get caught that the only limit is the imagination of the pervs who are spying on you. By the way, we certify that every one of these clips is 100% genuine amateurs caught unawares, having sexual relations that were not at all staged. The internet wouldn't lie to us. More »
  • #videoplaypen

    Video Playpen: If You Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen

    Next to the bedroom, is there any place in the house that gets more action than the kitchen? The inviting smells, the oils and sauces, the utensils ... it's like an erotic factory of culinary carnal delights. Plus, let's be honest ... linoleum is hot. Naturally, there was quite a selection of kitchen-themed videos to chose from for this edition of the Playpen, so grab a big spatula and get in there and mix it up. If you don't like cooking on the countertops, hey ... you can always eat out. More »