Fleshbot: Straight, Ponante

"The Corpse Wore Pasties": Dangerous Burlesque!

Gram Ponante — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:30:01 EST

You think today's strain of burlesque is all wholesome and sex positive? Not if you bogart someone's act, sister. Hard Case Crime's "The Corpse Wore Pasties" shows that there's no such thing as friendly competition when tassels are involved.

Burlesque performer Jonny Porkpie wrote the pulp tome (we covered Christa Faust's "The Money Shot" last year) and the book will be feted at the fetid Bleecker Street Theatre on November 21 and 28 with a stage presentation of "Corpse"'s plot performed by burlesque hoofers Dirty Martini, Jo Boobs, Madame Rosebud, and Clams Casino, as well as the book's cover models, Nasty Canasta and GiGi LaFemme.

When is the last time you saw one of your favorite storybooks enacted on stage? And was there almost-nudity in "Shrek On Ice"? No there wasn't.

· Lurid Lunch (pinchbottom.com)
· "The Corpse Wore Pasties" (hardcasecrime.com)

Bree Olson: Headlights For The Blind

Gram Ponante — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Bubba the Love Sponge seems reprehensible on his "Bubba Raw 4," in which the Howard/Opie-esque radio host tries to convince Bree Olson that one of his lackies is blind. He appears scandalized when she doesn't believe him.

Mr. Sponge escorted fellow Southerner Stormy Daniels to the AVN Awards a few years back, so we knew he was of the populist "Jackass" variety of radio hosts, and he has since released several editions of his uncut studio exploits with porn stars and hapless employees.

"But this Bree bitch wasn't believing that Steve was blind," huffs Bubba.

Probably because he wasn't.

The idea was that Olson would be introduced to employee Steve, decked out in sunglasses and walking stick, and perhaps feel sympathetic enough to his condition that she would give him a handjob.

But she wasn't buying it.

"I think you guys are messing with me," she says. "I don't think he's really blind."

Radio interviews with mass market DJs are still among the gold rings of porn publicity, so Olson puts up with the ruse for a while, and then, in a clear gesture of "Whatever," she begins texting. Moments later, she exits the Florida studio and walks at a clip down the road, pursued by a cameraman and another Sponge minion.

"Then she had a total meltdown!" Bubba drawls.

Olson grabs the camera and won't let go, demanding to get the tape. Sponge underlings give her a blank tape and make their getaway.

"Bubba Raw 4" features various segments of nudity a la "Girls Gone Wild" and cruelty to employees a la Howard Stern, but it's not as entertaining or as original, and that's saying a little. Sorry you had to deal with that, Bree.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Bubba Raw 4" (gamelink.com)

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Well, If You Insist: "Fuck My Big Boobs"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:00:00 EST

If you're like me, you came for the Eastern European big boobs, but you stayed to get a glimpse of the type of persons the credits refer to as "Mugur" and "Choky Ice."

Fuck My Big Boobs

Studio: Private
Cast: Aletta Ocean, Black Angelika, Lisa Del Sierra, Terry, Jessica Moore, Mugur, Lauro Giotto, James Brosman, Leslie Taylor, Choky Ice

Review by: Gram Ponante

Even if you are not a fan of big breasts wielded by tiny, multilingual women, my feeling about you is that you will appreciate their dusky fleshiness and call your ravel agent, as they say in Italy, pronto.

The first couple warms each other up on a leather couch much like the one we have here at Fleshbot West. She unwraps a large glass dildo that he gamely rubs between her breasts. "I see this; I am hot," she says and, even though he is defying porn logic by deriving no pleasure for himself by rubbing the dildo thusly, we are reminded of the European's giving nature.

So, like breasts themselves, this movie is wholesome that way. I admit that I felt scandalized by the boxcover copy:

Are you a tit man? Are you boobsessed by baps. Isn't it the most tit-anic sensation when you hold those heavy warm milk churns in your hands? Doesn't it make your dick twitch just picturing them? Private brings you bags of fun with funbags. You will run out of tissues a lot sooner than you planned. These ladies love to have their bazookas fondled while they get fucked hard and long, their big boobs swinging and bouncing about making their pussies dripping wet for more cock and cum.

"What the hell are baps?" I said, making a note to get more tissues at Ralph's.

There are three kinds of big boobs in this movie: the big natural kind, the big fake kind that might pass as natural, and the reverse-engineered from spacecraft big bolt-ons. I have to say that all look great on their bearer, but would not work on anyone else; the red-haired siren with the zaftig jugs would not be served with the comparatively smaller but perfectly round boobs of her costar.

Likewise the wiry thing with the blue/black hair and perfect fake tits would not be any better off with her girlfriend's natural mams. (Mams is the American word for baps, by the way.)

There is no plot to this movie, but you don't need one. If you're Choky Ice and someone asks you to fuck her big boobs, you say "Ja."

· Private (private.com)
· Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)

Ancient Swedish And French Porn From The Empire State

Gram Ponante — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Just as the world is fascinated with America, what with our Arby's, Don Cheadle, and Totoro, so are we enraptured by the rest of the world. Today we look at the classic pornos "French Schoolgirls" and "Swedish Sorority Girls."

You should know that no Swedes or French were fucked in the making of these films.

Since it is illegal to film most actual schoolgirls (unless they're on the five-year plan), we already know that Porn provides an extended adolescence for 24-year-olds to jump into pigtails and schoolgirl drag. Sadly, that prospect is moot in "French Schoolgirls," a badly shot and poorly edited compilation from long before its 1980 release credit, in which no French is spoken and no schoolgirl is deflowered.

But it's especially interesting to watch classic porn; perhaps because not only are these women currently older than us, but they also just look older on film.

It's also fun to watch classic porn because of the widely varying standards. While we have plenty of filmmakers today who consider their work Art, the condition was rampant in the so-called Golden Age. Hence why two Brooklyn-accented women discussing their sexual fantasies on a waterbed whilst smoking cigarettes and generally appearing to be in their late 20's are somehow the basis for calling this film "French Schoolgirls."

To reiterate: aside from the scratchy pop music in the background, nothing about this film (shot in New York City) is French.

It's a pretty bad film by any standard, but shots of the New York subway and John Holmes in his prime (the film credits him as John "Wadd" Holmes - can you imagine watching "Black Snake Moan" with Christina "The Ice Storm" Ricci?) are compelling. Oh, and one of the women appears to be fucking Freddie Mercury.

"Swedish Sorority Girls," on the other hand (starring Colleen Anderson, Karen Havens, Roger Caine, Paula Morton, David Christopher, Samantha Fox [yes, that Samantha Fox], Vee Summers, Clea Carson, and Joey Silvera [as Joey Civera, for some reason]) at least makes an effort, even if it is a laughable one.

For one thing, it has snow. For another, all the Americans say "ja" a lot and call each other by Ingrid or Sven. When Ingrid's American cousin flies into what appears to be a snow-covered Albany airport, the Ikeaporn begins.

Like "French Schoolgirls," however, no pretense is made in this film to justify the sorority of the title.

Though both films were released in 1980 ("French Schoolgirls" appears much older), it is clear that, even then, producers were aware that they could pretty much get away with anything as long as nudity was involved.

And that is true even to this day. Sometimes I show a little nipple when I don't have enough cash for the tip at TGI Friday's.

But at least "Swedish Sorority Girls," with its snowball fights, gratuitous "Ja"s, and a blonde, tries.

· VCX (vcx.com)

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"Crash Pad 5": Now With Actual Padding

Gram Ponante — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Feel a little creepy watching porn? Guess what: lesbians think you're creepy, too. In this latest episode of "The Crash Pad," an unblinking techie monitors for your benefit the Sapphic (and bepenised) goings-on at a sex drop-in center for Ladies.

The Crash Pad 5: Revolving Door

Studio: Blowfish
Director: Shine Louise Houston
Cast: August, Stacy Staxxx, Rex, Scarlett Chaos, Red, Cyd Loverboy, Kuma, Julie Warren, Shawn, Mickey Mod

Review by: Gram Ponante

Not that the whole creepy/proxy thing is spelled out. Indeed, little is explained in the "Crash Pad," other than the format for this episode is similar to that of its predecessors: there's someone watching, but she has no bearing on the antics of those she watches.

So if she has no bearing, if no one discovers her, if her watching has no effect on the watched, why do we even see her? No reason, really, other than just the slightest whiff of context always makes porn more exciting. It is like "Wide World of Animals" if Marlon Perkins had just stayed out of the beasties' way.

Well, not really. But we like to watch regardless.

And this episode has a lot to watch, such as the very first scene, in which transsexual Stacey Staxxx offers herself as a birthday present for (at first) dubious girlfriend August.

"It really made me feel pretty," August said.

"So," a no-nonsense bespectacled woman rocking Joanna Angel hair says to a plaid-shirted pickup, "when I saw you at the club you were flagging orange. That means Anything Goes. You ready to put your money where your mouth is?"

Another couple trusses, tussles, and straps each other, the top pummeling her partner's chest in a rain of blows you would not see in straight porn. There is caning, spitting, and an aggressiveness that the viewer feels is just fine with the submissive.

"You want me inside you?" says a bald top wielding a whip.

"Yes Sir," her partner says, flouting the patriarchy it took ages to get Just So.

In straight porn there really isn't such a thing as politics. There is only "When will she do anal?" But in "The Crash Pad 5," the final scene is one that has people talking, has people angry, has people blushing.

The final scene is between sunny-faced dyke Shawn (aka Syd Blakovich) and a man named Mickey Mod. In the world of the scene, he is sitting on the bed of the Crash Pad and Shawn walks in, thinking she found the wrong place.

It doesn't take her long to reconsider. As she says in the BTS interview, "Gender doesn't matter if you find someone attractive." And the scene they do together, featuring mutual masturbation and what I imagine is the first cumshot in this series, is a lot of fun. I hope no one burns down the Crash Pad for it.

"The Revolving Door" is a just a little darker than the other episodes of the "Crash Pad" series, but director Shine Louise Houston shines an expert light on a portion of the citizenry we don't see enough of.

· Crash Pad Series (crashpadseries.com)
· Buy "Crash Pad 5" (blowfish.com)

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Private Dicks (And Pussies): "Criminal Sex Investigation"

Gram Ponante — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:00:00 EST

Had enough of porn parodies? Not yet, Comrade. Imagine, if you will, an Eastern European porn adaptation of "CSI: Las Vegas" and you get the Private's porntastically unfathomable "Criminal Sex Investigation."

Criminal Sex Investigation

Studio: Private
Director: Antonio Adamo
Cast: Regina Moon, Viva Style, Alexa Bold, Carla Cox, Leah Lush, Denis Marti, Cristian David, Marco Nero, Mike Angelo

Review by: Gram Ponante

We have seen many of these beautiful (the women) and comically noirish (the guys) characters before in other Private movies, but what is fantastic about this outing (in addition to the hot Eurosex spawned by five weeks of vacation each year) is the stock footage of Vegas interpolated with both Eastern bloc interiors and performers, none of whom speaks English in a recognizable way.

You may say, "Oh, Grams, I'm not looking to have these performers anchor my high school speech and debate club; I just want to jack/jill off to them."

Well you do that.

We watch through flashbacks the last hours of a beautiful escort's life and follow a tough LVPD dick (Denis Marti) as he visits local haunts to solve her hot, fetishy Euro-murder.

Our detective is not above engaging in a double penetration to get the data he needs. Just so you know.

Nor is the movie afraid to tap into the 90's craze for techno treatments of Gregorian chants for background music, either.

While every death is a tragedy, "Criminal Sex Investigation" teaches us that the greatest purpose of life is to fuck a lot and leave a sexy corpse.

I'm going to get started right now!

· Private (private.com)
· Buy "Criminal Sex Investigation" (gamelink.com)

Niche Alert: Japanese Cowsplay

Gram Ponante — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

The Japanese have given us so much: Poi, Dokken, the Hewlett-Packard Laserjet 4000N. But they've also given us a distinctive pornic costume style. What happens, then, when Japanese pornstresses dress like their Western counterparts?

J-Girls Dress Up Fantasy

Studio: Third World Media
Cast: Miku Hayama, Mayu Yamaguchi, Natsuki Luima, Seira Radno, Makoto Amano

Review by: Gram Ponante

Not too much, really, but that's not the point: the costume does not define the person. Even though the trepidatious Miku Hayama and Makoto Amano are dressed as saucy French maids, they quiver and weep at the attentions of their scene partners.

And Mayu Tamaguchi, done up as the standard schoolgirl, actually behaves in a scholarly fashion rather than flouting the outfit in the way her Porn Valley sisters would.

Seira Radnu mixes and matches various Western military outfits, and she and Natsuki Luima actually appear to be having fun as their very enthusiastic and earnest Nipponese helpmeets maul and paw them.

The giggly Luima is my favorite of this bunch, though her scene in spotted pajamas is over too soon.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "J-Girls Dress Up Fantasy" (tlavideo.com)

Not A Parody: "Gimme A Fucking Spring Break"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Did we for a moment wonder if Pink Visual had jumped into the parody market and signed Jada Fire to play Nell Carter a la Charlize Theron playing Aileen Wuornos? No, we're not dumb. But these Spring Breakers are!

One of Pink Visual's superpowers is making viewers suspend their disbelief just enough to accept that any of these Florida beach resort pickups actually happened.

There's the creepy date-rapey dialogue, the spectre of alcohol-related decision-making, and the casting of people who probably drew on a wealth of personal experience. But we assure you that all these folks knew they were making a porn movie, signed off beforehand, and were paid. Probably not enough to ever compensate for that white dude with the cornrows, but they were paid.

This is a guilty pleasure of a movie with just enough talking to make you think, "For the love of God, shut up and fuck."

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Gimme A Fucking Spring Break" (gamelink.com)

Leave The Closet Door Open For "Seven Minutes in Heaven"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

There is something Unitarian Universalist about Courtney Trouble's charming all-girl (and trans) spin-the-bottle romp "Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out," but instead of free coffee and homemade lemon squares, newcomers get strapped.

Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out

Studio: Reel Queer Productions
Director: Courtney Trouble
Cast: Joline Parton, Sarah Lee Sinful, Carson, Sophia, Puck Goodfellow, Tina Horn, Jae

Review by: Gram Ponante

In a brightly-lit room in San Francisco, seven women, most of whom have never appeared naked on camera before, and a few of that number that have never been with women before, assemble for a spin-the-bottle party.

There's the absolutely adorable Joline Carson and Sophia, newcomer Sarah Lee Sinful, the dashing Puck Goodfellow, sunny Jae with the "48" ass," down-to-business Carson, and my personal favorite, "sleazy rock and roll faggot" Tina Horn.

And what follows is a testament to how good porn can be if the participants simply like each other.

Director Trouble makes sure to light the rooms so we can see, mic the stars so we can hear, and then she simply backs up and lets them flirt with each other.

Frankly, aside from the extra strap-on action and a lack of fake boobs, there is little difference between "Seven Minutes in Heaven" and a (Courtney) trouble-free "Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party," in that each of the participants knows she is there for the day so she might as well enjoy it.

Doubtful if the director was too (Courtney) troubled about whether this movie would be accessible to a straight audience, but I appreciated that I as a viewer was not made to feel excluded, as I often do when porn aimed outside my demographic shuts me out with manners, rules, and jargon. I felt like I could have been sitting slightly out of frame reading "Tropic of Cancer" while the cast got to know each other, and I would not have been asked to leave.

· Good Releasing (goodreleasing.com)
· Buy "Seven Minutes in Heaven" (gamelink.com)

Don't Toss Us Away, Valeria

Gram Ponante — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

The cover of "Big Titted First Timers 7" looks like a Lone Justice sex tape. Who is that woman with the 90's hair and tan lines? Turns out it's Valeria and this compilation is a trip to the 2257-exempt past.

You may have heard of the 2257 recordkeeping requirements that keep all legitimate porn studios on their toes with the mandate of maintaining scrupulous age verification and identification records. When they went into effect in 1995, it signaled, among other things, the dawn of a time when a fan could find all the movies his crush object had been in no matter what alias she used.

Unfortunately, this compilation features scenes from the early 90's, as evidenced by the fashions, technology, and videotape haze of the proceedings. Not only that, but there is also no way of finding out whatever happened to this natural-breasted and clearly-over-18 beauty seen flopping around in the jacuzzzi with a dude who probably would not get too much work were he to be getting into the business today (only Eva Angelina is allowed to wear glasses).

NB: We are also treated to a scene with Dawn, who delicately takes out her false teeth whilst blowing a guy.

We hope you're doing well, Valeria. You are now, at the very least, 32 years old. Mightn't it be time for a cougar comeback?

· JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
· Buy "Big Titted First Timers 7" (gamelink.com)

Popshots of the Week!

Gram Ponante — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 17:00:59 EDT

Pornish things happened all across California this week and I bore witness to them, from exhibitionists in cow palaces to rabbit holes to Porn's version of the bloodsucking bayou. We start with Noname Jane onstage in San Francisco.

Jane was just about to squirt chocolate on herself, at which point my camera was jostled by ravening lesbians who proceeded to lick it off her.

The event was the Exotic Erotic Ball, a hit or miss affair with heart and soul and plenty of local color. Like this protester's sign, however, the Ball tried to cater to as diverse a group as possible but didn't have its act together. Still, the friendliness of the crowd inside was a very welcome and opposite counterpoint to the real hatred of this group of protesters.

Down south, delightful pixie Aiden Starr auditions for Erica McLean and Carlos Batts' upcoming "Alice in Wonderland" porn adaptation (which will be at least the third this year and, if she gets the role, Starr's second foray through the looking glass).

April Flores, of course, plays the Red Queen. I think that will be awesome.

Across Porn Valley, Ashlynn Brooke plays Sookie in New Sensations' adaptation of "True Blood," scripted by Brooke herself. She is so unbelievably pretty I forgot her clothes were on.

The chameleonic Misty Stone plays Tara (she just found out Lafayette was dead) and Evan Stone plays Evan Stone playing a guy from the show. In the background we see Ralph Long, pulling double duty as a boom operator (we last saw Long as Screech in "This Ain't Saved by the Bell" as well as in "The Sex Files").

Finally we managed to get inside, to Silverlake's Bigfoot Lodge (this reporter's local bar), where at 10 in the morning Misty Stone inspired more wood within the woody surroundings.

"Ejacula 2" The Future

Gram Ponante — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

In 1993 the world met "Ejacula," a vampiress who, probably because she was immortal, missed the memo that Duran Duran fashions had expired several years earlier. But we also met Tonisha Mills. Two years later the whole "Ejacula" gang returned.

"Ejacula 2" is just as inscrutable as the first, but damn did porn have money back then. Shot in Europe with an all-star cast including the young Rocco Siffredi and the even-then-only-allowed-to-work-with-his-shirt-on Ron Jeremy, "Ejacula 2" follows the uneven acting of several careless guests, a couple of vampire hunters, Lynn LeMay, and a coven of vampires on one wild weekend featuring, as the boxcover says, "an outdoor BJ" and "ass eating."

This movie symbolizes porn excess in that no one cared if the acting or story or camera work was good as long as the women became naked. Since the women do (in a 14-person orgy scene, no less), to find fault with what is now a cultural artifact seems like elder abuse.

Tonisha Mills and Lynn LeMay look lovely as always, and Ron Jeremy overacts to perfection.

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"Vampiress": Waiting To Impale

Gram Ponante — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

We try to steer you right here at Fleshbot, even when our judgment is momentarily clouded by personal friendships, advertising dollars, or cocaine. That is why we'll tell you that "Vampiress" is a horrible movie but it has its charms.

Ava Rose and girlfriends go on a birthday adventure to Raven Castle, whispered to have been the home of a legendary vampiress. In flashbacks, we see dark, lush beauty Audrey Bitoni working her evil. Back in the present day, however, the party girls are having visions and finding clues hinting at the castle's bloodthirsty former inhabitants.

The reason "Vampiress" is worth watching is because the sex is candlelit and bodice-rippy, performed by dusky hippy beauties like Rose, Bitoni, Gianna Lynn, Raveness, and Amber Rayne (with the blonde Alexis Texas thrown in as a ringer).

But it is almost Eon McKai-level bad with mind-numbing dialogue and cougar vampire Raveness (from 1472, no less), bouncing between bad period dialogue and lines like "Work that fuckin' pussy, baby." The nail in the coffin is when we get to hear director Marcus London's stage directions ("Ava, turn your head this way"). In a way, "Vampiress" is comforting in that porn can still look the way people who've never seen porn think it does, based on everything they've heard.

Sadly, I did not see the boom mic.

I have had this movie on my To Do list since last year's Halloween Week collection, and am surprised it is still available for purchase. Like a vampiress, "Vampiress" should only be seen at night.

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To "Black Devil Doll" With Love

Gram Ponante — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

How can we hate someone who tosses salad, jerks off on windows, and engages in murder of crackers by bat and hammer with the same delirious joy? The answer is that you can't hate the "Black Devil Doll."

Black Devil Doll

Studio: Lowest Common Denominator
Director: Shawn Lewis
Cast: Heather Murphy, Natasha Talonz, Precious Cox, Erika Branich, Christina Svendesn, Martin Boone

I first wrote about "Black Devil Doll" about 35 years ago when the relentlessly marketed neo-blaxploitation flick was but a trailer. Now that it has escaped an All White Jury for release in its full glory, I'm here to say that "Black Devil Doll" is a very special film that offers only happiness.

Re-animated in puppet form the moment of his state-sponsored electrocution, Cracker bitch fucking/murdering Mubia Abul-Jama (yes, I know) falls in love with sassy Heather Honeydew Boone.

But their post-mortem honeymoon can't last. "I'm a man, bitch," says Black Devil Doll. "I need to get into some Strange."

Heather goes off to McDonald's after inviting her four sassy girlfriends over. Mubia deals with each according to his needs.

Mubia's joy in doing what he does and the game giddiness with which each of the cast members plays her part in this perfect period piece made me wish I was 14 and watching this Russ Meyer-meets-Tom Savini intimate ass-and-splatter epic for the first time.

Porn parodists can learn a lot from this movie. It was made on a small budget with a limited cast, yet there is a clear story and an actual ending (sort of). In the meantime it is the most deliciously scatalogical, violent, misogynist, racist, and titillating movie you will see this year or, probably, ever.

What might Andrea Dworkin or Ossie Davis have to say about this movie? One shudders to think. It's hard to encourage someone not inclined to do so to take something like this in a spirit of fun. But "Black Devil Doll" is silly above all things, and it was a muthafuckin' joy to watch, bitch.

· Black Devil Doll (blackdevildoll.com)

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Blue Balls In Hell: "The Devil in Miss Jones"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Suicide spinster Justine Jones discovers that Hell truly is other people in the re-released edition of "The Devil in Miss Jones."

The Devil in Miss Jones

Studio: VCX
Director: Gerard Damiano
Cast: Georgina Spelvin, Claire Lumiere, Erica Haven, John Clemens, Harry Reams, Gerard Damiano (As Albert Gork)

Review by: Gram Ponante

This deluxe edition contains two versions of the film plus a lengthy interview with star Georgina Spelvin. Having never seen the movie (nor have I seen "Deep Throat," "Behind the Green Door," or "Debbie Does Dallas"), I also knew nothing about it, and was impressed by Spelvin's acting as well as the story.

But not the sex. I watched the hardcore version (because life is short) and can't imagine how the softcore version could be softer.

Plain Jane Justine Jones, a spinster, is a suicide. She takes one last look from her apartment window onto the New York City of 1973, retires to a bathtub, and slashes her wrists.

She finds herself in the office of Mr. Abaca, who fumblingly tells her that, since her "accident," she is no longer a candidate for heaven, where her otherwise pristine and virginal life would have sent her - had she not committed suicide.

"I've done nothing to warrant this," she says. "If I could do it again, I would live a life filled, engulfed, consumed with lust."

Mr. Abaca, in the middle of a slow day, gives her her wish.

Justine meets The Teacher (Harry Reams) who must strip her of her inhibitions prior to her return to the mortal world. After inserting an eensy plug into her anus (it was a simpler time), she gives him a blowjob and then, demonstrating a passive aggressiveness that would make me send her to Hell if I ran things, asks that he fuck her but then gets squeamish about how big he is.

"Will you - be gentle?" she asks.

"No," The Teacher says.

So Miss Jones learns the ways of the flesh with the Teacher, who sends her a few other partners to round out her education.

The idea that Jones must earn Hell through a series of acts that today's average porn actress performs once an afternoon is daunting, and by contemporary standards we look at what she's doing as pretty wholesome, sex positive, and liberated.

I expected that Jones, shown how her frigidity kept her from living a worthwhile life, would be sent back to New York to be a sex blogger or something. But she really is only granted a small reprieve from her eternal destination, and when she finally gets there she meets what might very well be the male version of her mortal self, played by Gerard Damiano.

This movie holds up well. We believe Miss Jones and we regret that a little anal sex with Harry Reams dooms her for eternity. Had she just not committed suicide, Miss Jones would have been assured buttloads of anal sex in heaven.

· VCX (vcx.com)
· Buy "The Devil in Miss Jones" (gamelink.com)

Naked Trainwrecks: "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 4"

Gram Ponante — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

It's not always a trainwreck on a porn set, but when it is, Jim Powers knows he can recoup some of his expenses with another fascinating edition of "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes." Enter Tanner Mayes.

Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 4

Studio: JM Productions
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Tanner Mayes, Johnny Thrust, Porno Dan, Lacey Lane, Dana DeArmond, Brooke Scott, Ashley Blue, Sophie Dee

Review by: Gram Ponante

Tanner Mayes takes up the entirety of "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 4" in a daylong meltdown on the set of "Lesbian Bukkake 15." To tell you the truth, I didn't even watch the bukkake, as outtakes on Jim Powers movies are infinitely more compelling and disturbing.

But is it sexy? What's amazing is that the pixieish Mayes is naked throughout the movie, running this way and that, sprawling, crying, trashing offices, topless, spreading her labia (to exhibit some chafing for the camera), and cussing out production staff and other performers. It's like "Let It Be" if the Beatles were a talented but doomed bukkake band from Chatsworth.

And, while I'm sure there are people who can jerk off to anything (and God Bless You, Fleshbot readers), this is more of a companion piece to "Naked States" in its surprising non-sexuality.

While there are incidental shots of sex, the movie is a documentary better than anything a basic cable sweeps week porn expose could contrive, or any "Family Business" or "Real Sex" put together.

The beautiful Mayes had been out partying the night before until at least 2 a.m. She was three hours late for today's shoot. She reveals that last night she skipped out on a cab fare, passed out in her apartment, naked, and was revived by police, whom she scratched. That is what the crew would be dealing with.

A BTS cameraperson follows her throughout the day, and at one point tells her that "you are my only job." Mayes squats over the performer Lacey Lane in order to come in the latter's face, but Lane notices red marks on Mayes' thighs. Mayes storms out of the room, the first of several threats to quit.

What Lane can be forgiven to have assumed was a staph infection Mayes says is chafing from short underwear. "Like when you're on a water ride." Mayes escalates the more anyone tries to calm her down, and the viewer is left with the feeling that if Mayes isn't heavily medicated, she should be.

And we watch this because it is as titillating and empty as porn is.

By and large, there isn't too big of a pay gap for women in porn. Sasha Grey might pick up a hefty check, but even that is not an order of magnitude greater than what an unknown newcomer might get in a bukkake. What I'm saying is that money doesn't seem to be the reason why Jim Powers has such a huge archive of meltdowns documented in this series and on the Behind the Scenes segments of his other movies.

Instead, it seems to be the nature of his sets and the volatility of the cast. There is also something about the fact that everything that is documented can and will be sold, so that people who are unburdened with a sense of shame have no motivation to not control themselves when they sense a freakout coming.

In bonus scenes there are less spectacular but just as grim encounters with Sophie Dee and the zaftig, cum-drunk Brooke Scott.

The only things missing from this movie are physical violence, a drug overdose, and police intervention. Otherwise "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 4" is a perfect accounting of why you should leave porn to the professionals.

"Naked States": Beauty Is In The Eyes Of The Beheld

Gram Ponante — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

It is hard to contextualize, much less sexualize, photographer Spencer Tunick's quest to photograph larger and larger groups of nudes in various (re)poses, but the documentary "Naked States" proves that it is the models themselves who define the project.

Now available on iTunes, "Naked States" is a road movie with several hearts.

For five months in 1997, Tunick crossed America with the goal of photographing nudes in each of the contiguous 48 states. From Presque Isle, Maine to Los Angeles, Tunick was able to either cajole (Fargo) or corral (an unruly nudist colony) his models, each of whom seemed to have a different idea of what the point was.

Tunick himself comes across as less interested in the humanity than in the art, and less interested in the art than in the art magazines which had at the time shown little interest. But his models, like the woman in Boston who thought of her public nudity (recovering from a mugging and rape) as therapy or the Phish fan who joined hundreds of like-minded subjects supine on the tarmac of a former Air Force base as a war protest, are what makes this documentary like a very fleshy "Travels with Charley."

Maybe Tunick is a publicity seeker (he recently broke a record in Mexico City's Zocalo by getting 18,000 people to disrobe), but the reasons his subjects cite for taking their kits off are deeply personal, from the 65-year-old man who knows how he will look exiting the world to the woman posing on the New Jersey side of New York Harbor, pre- the towers falling, talking about the power of public solitude.

So, since neither Tunick nor his strangely killjoy girlfriend, nor his producer nor his attorney (the great Ronald Kuby, who can still spit the word "cops") ever refer to any of the models as "hot," I felt bad thinking that the woman from Madison or that vintage clothing store employee looked pretty tasty. But the way Tunick arranged them said "naked" more than "nude," so he achieved his goal.

The documentary follows a pattern of Tunick's surprises, both pleasant and not. He feels personally endangered at the Sturgis bike rally (the owner of a Klanware t-shirt concession is incensed at Tunick's proposition to his daughter), has a difficult time with crowd control at a nudist colony and Phish concert, and ends the movie with his coveted gallery showing and wide exposure in the art world. We are surprised that he has only been arrested five times.

Ultimately what makes this documentary compelling is how much of America we see, and how there seems to be a fortuitous disconnect between photographer and subject, in which each walks away from the shoot with something different.

Because I am base-minded and low, I was not able to walk away, for I had an erection.

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Jada Fire Gets On Marco's "Dark Side"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

No, "The Dark Side of Marco Banderas" is not an interracial title. It is post-racial. And neither is it a somber and moody piece of porn. In fact, the viewer is left happy for everyone involved. Then there's Jada Fire...

The Dark Side of Marco Banderas 3

Studio: Mercenary
Director: Marco Banderas
Cast: Marco Banderas, Lexington Steele, Annette Schwarz, Jada Fire, Pinky, Sienna West, Mya Luanna, Alanah Rae, Diana Doll, Rebeca Linares

Not only is Marco Banderas one of the nicest guys in porn, but he also has great teeth. So his "Dark Side" movies give the false impression that, because the sex is nasty, its perpetrators are, too.

But Banderas, like cohort Lexington Steele and a few others (Steve Holmes comes to mind) really comes across Annette Schwarz's face as grateful rather than "dark" in this series of vignettes featuring things like a dream sequence with Rebeca Linares and Alanah Rae (you see, they're selling cookies) and a glorious romp with Annette Schwarz in which the German uberfrau seems to inhale Banderas.

Then there are scenes with the unabashedly bootylicious Pinky and the exquisite Jada Fire as well as zaftig landmadel Katja Kassin and Mya Luanna, who answer the door to find Banderas in a towel speaking Spanish. It almost seems like a couples' movie if there weren't so much assfucking.

(NB: Plenty of couples I know assfuck on a regular basis, but they don't watch porn.)

Banderas seems genuinely happy to be amongst this bevy of hippy hotties, and there is no dark side evident whatsoever. So you'll have to oblige the title even if there's never a dark moment.

· Mercenary Pictures (lexingtonsteele.com)
· Buy "The Dark Side of Marco Banderas 3" (gamelink.com)

If You're Going To San Francisco

Gram Ponante — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

...for the Exotic Erotic Ball, remember that things can get a little goopy, oily, and Satanic. Luckily, a sponsor has provided a device for wallflowers to experience the sexiness from between 5 and, say, 11 inches away. Read on...

I am excited about the 30th annual Exotic Erotic Ball, which I will be attending to add a layer of decorum to the debauchery (by wearing a monocle). But, lest proximity to the writhing free love deviants prove overwhelming, I'm also going to be trying out the RealTouch haptic sex simulator, which transmits signals directly to one's junk via specially-coded adult videos.

Will the moistness and friction of the haptic marital aid rival what is available to one in real life, or will one forsake the carbon-based world for Tron-like sterility and Cyberskin orgasms? I don't know; which has better Mexican food?

If you're in San Francisco this weekend, please say hi (you'll know me by my ascot).

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"Rocco Ravishes L.A.": Someone's in the Toilet with Bobbi

Gram Ponante — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Look at how Kristina Rose protects Fleshbot readers' tender sensibilities by obscuring Rocco Siffredi's cock with her foot. Perhaps this is why Siffredi later puts Bobbi Starr's head in the toilet. You and your Puritan reservations.

Rocco Ravishes L.A.

Studio: Evil Angel
Director: Rocco Siffredi
Cast: Kristina Rose, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Jamie Elle, Bobbi Starr, Jada Fire, Lexi Love, Kagney Linn Karter, Rocco Siffredi, Marco Banderas, Toni Ribas, Mark Davis

Review by: Gram Ponante

There is so much unnecessary hype in porn that when someone like Rocco Siffredi comes out of retirement because he can't resist someone like Bobbi Starr, it's a shame when so little is made of it.

Siffredi channels Randy Newman in both his love of L.A. and in boxcover font choice for his stateside comeback extravaganza, "Rocco Ravishes L.A.," in which "The Stallion" and a troupe of foreigners (Mark Davis, Marco Banderas, and Tony Ribas) are violently serviced by Starr, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Jamie Elle, Lexi Love, Jada Fire, Kagney Linn Karter, and Kristina Rose.

One of the persistent myths about any porn, but particularly this type of clinical, graphic, and forceful material, is that the women in in don't like it. While this is certainly true some of the time, it is most often not the case, and we can see this in scenes with Starr, Karter, and Adrianna Nicole, in particular.

"I was star-struck," Bobbi Starr told me a month after the Siffredi shoot, which took place in January, 2009. "He wasn't originally going to put my head in the toilet, but I kind of begged him to."

This movie is dirty, dirty, dirty but, lest you think it is dirty in that disaffected European sterile way, "Rocco Ravishes L.A." has heart. Rocco is clearly delighted to be back in the catbird seat again, as are his gracefully aging cohorts, each of whom drops loads spiced with a little gratefulness.

Kagney Linn Karter was new to the business when this movie was shot, and Lexi Love had just returned to it after a hiatus. Both are great fun to watch. Jada Fire is like an ominous storm cloud washing over both Lexi Love and Mark Davis, and she looks exquisite.

"Rocco Ravishes L.A." is one of those movies that is both a great snapshot of porn in 2009 and an education in the style of a guy who has been teaching hardcore fucking for more than a decade.

Wear Your Raincoat: "Cummin' At You 3D"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Porn can be so basic that when someone gets it wrong it can be shocking: How can you fuck up fucking? But "Cummin' At You 3D" gets it gloriously right - in your face!

Cummin' At You 3D

Studio: Tommy Gunn Entertainment
Director: Tommy Gunn
Cast: Tommy Gunn, Sindee Jennings, Riley Evans, Tony DeSergio

Review by: Gram Ponante

Were this movie not 3D, it would still be an excellent interactive couples' title. The story is simple: Sindee Jennings wants to audition for producer Tommy Gunn's porn movie and, of course, she needs to be put through her paces. Along the way she is also tried out by Tony DeSergio and Riley Evans. (Almost) needless to say, she is rode hard and put away wet, as Ms. Jennings is a copious squirter.

But with 50 percent of the cast being Playgirl-friendly dudes, the interactive elements of "Cummin At You" leave plenty of room to see the guys from the females' point of view. To his credit, ladies, Tommy Gunn looks soulfully into your/Sindee Jennings's eyes as he eats you/Sindee Jennings out.

But what is truly revolutionary about this movie (which producers Gunn and Marcus London call a "preview of something even bigger") is that, either with the new breed of 3D-ready HDTVs or with the attached red/blue 3D glasses ("Or you can use the same glasses from the matinee of 'Up,'" Gunn said), you can experience the performers cumming—with whatever substance they have at their arousal—at you.

It's like "A Bug's Life 3D" at California Adventure except with the long-raging argument about whether female ejaculation is real or just urine.

I have had the opportunity ("pleasure" just isn't the most appropriate word) of Sindee Jennings squirting in my face in real life. But the virtual version is really cool. Not only that, but viewers get the illusion of the performers' ankles resting on their shoulders.

3D in mainstream movies is like parodies are to porn; some seem gimmicky and some exploit the genre in a suitable way. But 3D in porn just seems like the right way to go.

And it's worth mentioning that Gunn and company could have gotten this wrong in so many simple, porny ways, but they didn't.

"We knew we had to get Sindee," Gunn said.

Exactly. Because 3D is not about subtlety.

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"Flight Attendants" Crashes Despite Ample Buoyancy

Gram Ponante — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Global Air's ridership has taken a nosedive since one of its planes did. And rival Trans Con won't let Global forget it! So Global's flight attendants decide to grow their customer base the only way they know how.

Flight Attendants

Studio: X-Play/Adam & Eve
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Kayden Kross, Evan Stone, Hillary Scott, Teagan Presley, Sunny Lane, Eva Angelina, Misty Stone, Shyla Stylez, Kacey Jordan, Lexi Love, Michelle Maylene, Randy Spears, James Bartholet, Eric John, Jack Lawrence, Eric Swiss, Thomas Ward, Brad Hardy, Kenzi Marie, Chastity Lynn, Farrah Foxx, Dino Bravo, Barry Scott

Review by: Gram Ponante

X-Play's newest film (following last week's "Monday Night Football") continues the company's diversification into porn comedies that aren't based on a particular show. This one draws broadly from "Airplane!" with a healthy dose of Jim Holliday's ensemble pornos of the 90's (Holliday gets namechecked in the movie) as well as Digital Playground's recent successes in occupational porn, "Cheerleaders," "Babysitters," "Nurses," and "Teachers."

A co-production with Adam & Eve like last year's Zero Tolerance/A&E matchup "Rollerdollz," "Flight Attendants" tries so hard to please that it collapses with the effort. Such a large cast means not enough room for everyone to shine, and the story is so needlessly convoluted that you will actually become stupider while watching it.

Q. But Grams, surely you're not saying that you would fault a porn movie for a poorly-executed story. Isn't sex all that matters?
A. While sex is all that matters, at least at this point in our lives, you should probably just buy ten copies of "Flight Attendants," watch each one, and feel your IQ drop by ten points each time. Then you will be this movie's target audience, and will support X-Play's future filmic endeavors.

Multiple uses of flashbacks and dream sequences are neither effective nor funny, the theme song is grating, and the numerous gay and black/urban poor jokes made by and at the expense of performer James Bartholet and openly black performer Misty Stone try too hard to be outrageous and fall flat. It was often amazing how "Flight Attendants" made two subjects that are normally hilarious - race and sexual orientation - unfunny while trying to be "broad."

Speaking of broad, let's talk about the sex.

X-Play has assembled an all-star cast and we slog through way too much plot before any cast members commence to fucking. While there are standout scenes between Shyla Stylez and Randy Spears, the newly-returned Hillary Scott and Barry Scott (no relation), and Kayden Kross and Evan Stone, we don't see nearly enough of Sunny Lane, Eva Angelina, Teagan Presley, or Lexi Love. And, in an industry where people don't need much of an excuse to have sex, "Flight Attendants" manages to strain credulity.

I think X-Play in particular and parodies in general need to take a vacation.

We know the recent difficulty of making money in porn, and part of the current marketing strategy involves having numerous products on the shelves. X-Play is also playing two sides of the field by releasing movies through distributors Adam & Eve as well as Hustler. But it seems that a company that can make such note-perfect parodies like "Not Married with Children" and "Not the Cosby Show" may have extended its reach this time; "Flight Attendants" did not need to be bad.

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Swingers And Ringers: "A Real Swinger's Orgy"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

It is not often that we find a porn movie that is charming, especially at such a cynical time. Private's "A Real Swinger's Orgy" makes having sex with strangers seem fun and wholesome again.

A Real Swinger's Orgy

Studio: Private
Director: Kink.com
Starring: Peter Acworth, Princess Donna, Mr. Big, Maestro, Bella Rossi, Sarah Shevon, Sindee Jennings, Annie Cruz, Chery Torn, Catrina Cummings, Lilla Katt, Hollie Stevens, Savannah West, Amber Keen, Mason, Mark Davis, Mr. Pete, Derrick Pierce, John Strong, Mister Torn, Ed Vincent, Curt Wooster, Dean Strong, Trina Cox, Ryker, Danger Girl, Amber Rayne

Review by: Gram Ponante

Peter Acworth has a problem. He has impulsively made a promise to a very big client that he will film an epic swinger orgy at the massive Armory Building in San Francisco, which he happens to own as president of Kink.com.

Once he gets the go-ahead to begin shooting, he must then populate the event and dress the room, two things that anyone who knows Peter Acworth also knows he will have no problem doing. But, for purposes of this delightful, documentary-style porn Kink.com made in association with Private, we watch the British Acworth get all Hugh Grant nebbishy and tie himself into knots as the big day gets closer.

He approaches the always interesting Princess Donna in a bar. Here she plays a forgotten trophy wife. In a line that I will use shamelessly, he says, "If you are short of something to do, you should come to my sex party."

Various storylines unfold: a "Pina Colada"-style "I didn't know that you liked sex in public" misunderstanding between Mark Davis and his doctor (both show up at the Armory at the same time), a husband who thinks his wife is a prude, even though she looks exactly like Princess Donna, and a hapless cameraman whose real dream is to be in front of the camera, you know, fucking (when put to the test, he can't unload in time but, unlike in most porn, this fellow has a story arc).

Kink.com, which is known for hardcore fetish sites like Ultimate Surrender, Wired Pussy, and Men In Pain, is no stranger to suspension—as in naked girls dangling from ropes—but this is suspension of disbelief. We gladly check our cynicism at the door as the movie asks us to forget things we already know but then charmingly ties everything back together.

Orgy Day comes and the Armory looks great. A group of naked porn stars arrive, such as Sindee Jennings, Annie Cruz (rarely seen in Porn Valley anymore—it's good to know where she's been hiding), the adorable Sarah Shevon, beautiful, lush redheads Bella Rossi and Cherry Torn, and reliable porn dudes Mr. Pete and Derrick Pierce, all of them there to get the party started.

And that is what the final 80 percent of "A Real Swinger's Orgy" is: fucking, mixed with unobtrusive but satisfying plot resolutions.

Mark Davis, veteran woodsman that he is, cannot resist giving directions in a manner that would get a younger man kicked out of bed. Acworth, ever the fidgety host, flits here and there with seltzer bottles and drink orders, Sindee Jennings can be heard shrieking across the room, soaking all that nice antique furniture. At one point Mr. Pete is servicing Shevon ("Don't fuck me back or I'll come") when he hears Jennings caterwaul across the room and he shoots her a dirty look.

If this movie had been made 300 miles south in Los Angeles, the lights would have been too bright and the checks could not have been cashed fast enough. But we really are convinced that "A Real Swinger's Orgy" is the real deal, even with a little help from the pros.

So if you're not short of something to do, you should really watch this sex party.

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"Pure" Screwing Satisfaction

Gram Ponante — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

It starts innocently enough. Sada (the beautiful Asa Akira) begins an innocuous flirtation with her castrating boss's husband, Kichi (Keni Styles). What knew Sada would get a taste for it herself?

"Pure"

Studio: Evil Angel
Director: David Aaron Clark
Cast: Asa Akira, Keni Styles, Jessica Bangkok, Lana Violet, Destiny, Mr. Marcus, Jake Malone, Valentino

Review by: Gram Ponante

David Aaron Clark's first movie for Evil Angel is an exquisite piece of pornography. Based on the true story of Sada Abe, "Pure" updates the subject matter of 1976's "In the Realm of the Senses" to contemporary Los Angeles where, instead of working as a maid in a 1930's Tokyo hotel, Sada is the receptionist at Asian-run BDSM dungeon Realm.

Sada and Kichi soon grow fond of one another and have the sort of sex-filled honeymoon one might want performers in a porn movie to have. But Sada is a little obsessive and Kichi is a little fickle; there is potential poverty involved if he doesn't go back to his wife, and Sada believes her and Kichi's relationship is finite.

Back at the Realm we meet the dommes, played by Lana Violet, Jessica Bangkok, and Destiny. Each to her credit has her own thing going on, and we are able to view them as separate characters. Still, they seem to have Mr. Marcus caged 24/7, playing a rapper who is guilty about his success.

Styles is an up and coming British Asian porn star, which is doubly rare. Added to this exclusivity is the fact that he is an excellent actor. His presence—despite what happens—might make "Pure" Clark's first ever couples'-friendly movie.

But Clark never bogarts the creeps. In "Pure" there are two old-tymey porn staples in the persons of the reptilian businessman Pasquale (Valentino) and Sada's former professor, played by Jake Malone. Malone, in exchange for Sada's services, provides a cash infusion so that Sada and Kicki can continue playing house.

"Pure" is a very slow burn, and seems to get more compelling, sexy, and visually beautiful toward the end, with earlier scenes seeming ponderous. That said, in addition to just about everything in the movie being a niche or a fetish (leather nuns, asphyxiation, interracial sex, blowjobs while smoking, British Asian guys), "Pure" is the rare porn movie that makes us empathize with the characters.

Equal billing in "Pure" should go to the city of Los Angeles, particularly the corridor from downtown and Chinatown to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. There is not a pool or palm tree in sight in this movie, as if the city got its junk cut off, too.

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It's Phoenix Marie's "Sexy Life," And You're Welcome To It

Gram Ponante — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

You know who's sexy in person? That Phoenix Marie. She seems, in all the best ways, ready to go. So we were very interested to see her solo project, "My Sexy Life."

My Sexy Life

Studio: Muffia
Director: Phoenix Marie
Cast: Phoenix Marie, Andi Anderson, Eric Swiss, Angelina Valentine, Carmella Bing, Francesca Le, Tori Black, Adriana Nicole

A lot of porn seems DIY in a bad way, as if a lack of skill was masquerading as an aesthetic. But this movie, which is just a camera and a bunch of hot, raspy, incorrigible women who would be doing this even if they weren't getting paid (though the tits suggest they are) really makes "My Sexy Life" a boner-inducing trainwreck of a home movie.

It's the night after a big party (we're told this, and we believe it) and Phoenix Marie wants to recreate something on a cold morning that worked so well the night before, you know, when everyone was wasted. The delicious Andi Anderson strips down to a bikini and attempts a run at a Slip-n-Slide. It doesn't really work, but she looks good doing it.

Marie and Anderson are pretty much screaming at each other like any loud girls who know they're sexy. We wonder if the whole movie will be like this, and think: "I could stand this for maybe one full day. But I would stand the fuck out of it."

Phoenix takes us on a guided tour of her life, and we meet all her sexy friends (Adriana Nicole, Francesca Le, Tori Black, Angelina Valentine, Carmella Bing) in various semi-staged outings at the AVN convention, a soccer field, a dildo store, and on a trampoline.

While we are happy Phoenix Marie took us along, ultimately we wished someone else had been holding the camera. Shots are blurry or too fast; not careful enough to get a good look at the star. It is as if she thought her friends deserved all the attention in her own movie.

If there had been a B-roll of this movie, which there wasn't, it would have been great. As it is, we wanted more of a perspective on Phoenix Marie's "Sexy Life."

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Keeping Tori Black All To Yourself

Gram Ponante — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Few performers can pull off the direct address method of pornography without sounding shrill or blowing their repertoire, but Miss Tori Black both looks good and sounds good in "Interactive Sex with Tori Black."

Interactive Sex with Tori Black

Studio: Zero Tolerance
Cast: Tori Black, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Kristina Rose, and the stunt cocks of John Strong, Chris Johnson, Alex Gonz, Marco Banderas, and Dane Cross

Review by: Gram Ponante

It's sort of like a Tori Black Aquarium Screen Saver at first. Black lounges on a couch and suggests the things you can do with her: handjob, stick it in her ass, watch her have a slumber party. What's your pleasure?

Interactive movies are expensive, requiring multiple takes and days of filming as well as heavy authoring. POV movies, which also feature the star looking directly into the eyes of the owner of a disembodied penis, are not.

So the star that an interactive title is based around needs to be able to carry the whole thing. Tera Patrick could, as well as Carmen Luvana. And so can Tori Black. She takes her time and keeps her voice low and sexy through hundreds of variations on simple themes: fast, slow, front back, choice of outfits, choice of partners, choice of positions, and finally, where the vicarious you wants to shoot his load.

Appearing in the thankless role of stunt cock are the good sports John Strong, Chris Johnson, Alex Gonz, Marco Banderas, and Dane Cross. We don't see all of you, guys, but we know you're there.

Black is joined by the likes of Faye Reagan, Kristina Rose, and Georgia Jones in her escapades, and each in her turn makes it all about you.

This 3-DVD set includes (if you care about this sort of thing) Black's first anal scene. Spoiler: she takes it like a champ.

"2040": Alektra Blue Is A Real Doll

Gram Ponante — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

It is 2040 and sex with humans just isn't safe. Three decades ago (holy shit that's next year !!!) a perfect storm of diseases converged to produce "a worldwide pandemic of epic proportions." What will this do to Love?

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Alektra Blue, Randy Spears, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Brad Armstrong, Jayden Jaymes, Kayla Carrera, Barrett Blade, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Alexis Texas, Rocco Reed, Tory Lane, Janet Mason, Mick Blue, Jerry, TJ Cummings, Bill Bailey

Review by: Gram Ponante

The screenwriter goes uncredited, but the story of "2040" has bits of everything from "Pinocchio" to "The Velveteen Rabbit" to "Blade Runner": Love something enough and it can become human.

We meet Ryan Spears (Randy Spears), who is a porn performer, just like his dad, the porn actor Randy Spears. Ryan's job is similar to his father's, but he must perform it clandestinely because of (as the voiceover tells us) the porn tax of 2015, the porn police, and because porn companies are now "corporate entities traded on the open market."

(Like in the original "Blade Runner," we can do without the voiceover.)

Not only that, but Spears must also fuck robots.

Spears and company deliver a lot of inside references and product placement to the benefit of the Real Doll company, Wicked Pictures, and AVN, whose 55th annual awards show is presented complete with bad band and fucking in the bathrooms.

The first scene, as carried off by Spears and the faulty robot Alexis Texas, is very funny and more than reminiscent of certain porn sets I've attended.

The Alexis Texas robot blows a fuse, you see, and the crew and Spears have to wrestle her to a squatting position so that Spears can aim a load into her R.O.C., or removable oral cavity. The sight of Texas kneeling there, mouth open, eyes glazed over, and bolt-ons perpendicular, is both chilling and familiar (Texas is acting, of course, like she just came off a Max Hardcore shoot).

With the Texas "doll" or "mecha" out of commission, the production enlists a robot that looks just like Alektra Blue. Her name is Mira.

But Spears is dismissive.

"She's a toaster," says Spears. "You fuck one mecha, you've fucked them all. And they all taste like toast."

But Mira is not your ordinary frakking Cylon. She sweats! Her skin reddens with whipping! And her vagina is adjustable!

Spears is amazed. Could he be falling for a toaster? And, since he is Mira's "first," she imprints his data in her "memory banks."

What follows is a lot of exposition, some corporate intrigue and skulduggery, sex for no reason (but we're happy it happened, don't get us wrong), the conspicuous absence of Stormy Daniels and, sprinkled throughout, some poignant moments in which Mira comes to terms with her blossoming personhood.

The problem with "2040" is that, in trying to be Wicked's epic for the year, a movie that would have worked better small became instead top-heavy. There were plotlines and actors who didn't need to be there, like a community theatre production in which everyone who auditioned got a part. At the heart of the bloat that is "2040" is a really good porn movie that no one believed in enough to let stand on its own.

That said, the people the movie is about, Spears and Blue, are fantastic. While he can ham it up with the best of today's porn dudes, Spears also has a gravitas that no one in the porn world can touch. And Alektra Blue does great work as a living doll; I wish she'd been allowed to do more. (If RealDoll.com has an Alektra Blue model, I bet it's awesome.)

"2040" has a happy ending and I bet you can guess what it is. There is an uplifting message for couples that almost sounds like Stay Monogamous. (The underlying message, though, is that Mira has the intellect of a child but a vagina like a 320-hp engine, therefore it's easy to stay monogamous...the outlook is dire for human women.)

People must be buying these feel-good, trying-too-hard slogs, because Wicked keeps making them.

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"The Sex Files" Helps Us Believe Again

Gram Ponante — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Porn doesn't fly off the shelves anymore (unless it's HAUNTED), so parodies must stand on their own (if you can be expected to). We wanted to believe Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano in "The Sex Files," and we did.

The Sex Files

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Sam Hain
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Anthony Rosano, Ashlynn Brooke, Audrey Bitoni, Rod Fontana, Tyler Knight, Aurora Snow, Gracie Glam, Jackie Daniels, Tory Lane, Taylor Vixen, Angelica Raven, Evan Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

Writer/director Sam Hain had a grand vision for this "dark" parody (which was, thankfully, not as dark as most Wicked movies).

"I wanted it to fit into a plot hole in 'The X Files' that lots of fans were talking about," he said. "We see Scully (played in the original show by dour, buttoned-down saucypants Gillian Anderson) leaving a room as she's adjusting her clothes, and inside we see Mulder ('The Rapture''s David Duchovny) on the bed."

Well, a season later, Scully was pregnant and the show that coincided with the birth of chatroom culture had a cliffhanger every bit as potent as "Who Shot J.R.?"

So Hain wrote this movie as a bit of geekery, plugging the plot hole as neatly as reams of fan fiction had Mulder and Scully plugging each other in space, in Navajo boxcars, ghost ships, and under the watchful eye of the Chupacabra.

"But I tried to make it organic to the original show," Hain said.

All right, Mr. Hain. We are convinced of your earnestness. But is there room in today's crowded marketplace for earnest porn?

"The Sex Files" (New Sensations received a cease and desist letter from Fox, breaking the porn studio's graceful string of parody titles unburdened by either "Not the" or "This Ain't") cold-opens with sultry pixie Ashlynn Brooke astride a grateful but nervous older man (Guy DaSilva, who is also getting some work as porn's "Barrack Obama"). She reassures him that he was just fine, but now she wants to try something kinky. The camera tactfully pans away as she rips him to shreds with her mouth.

Next we meet Mulder and Scully (Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano), two FBI agents inhabiting a dimly lit D.C. basement. They are sent to Los Angeles to investigate some grisly serial killings, but Mulder balks. It has little to do with his job description, working on cases that deal in the kooky and paranormal.

If you've seen "The X Files," you are already satisfied that Kane and Rosano are expertly cast, clothed, and coiffed, and Rod Fontana as their boss, Skinner, is also an apt substitute for Mitch Pileggi. In fact, Fontana/Skinner gets to do what Pileggi/Skinner didn't: fuck his secretary, Aurora Snow.

"It's getting hot in here," she says, removing some layers.

"Federal buildings' air conditioning," Fontana syas.

The triumph of this pornification of "The X Files" is that Hain gets the silence right as well as many of the details. Much of how long-term partners Scully and Mulder communicate is non-verbal. But the occasional flareups of wordy exposition, also characteristic of the original show, is handled just about deftly by the actors, who obviously had much more of a dialogue workout on this film than any other in their careers.

But the time this movie takes to reveal what other porn flicks feel behooved to get out of the way ASAP makes Kane's first nude scene (the lonely Mulder catches her coming out of the shower) electric.

"Sorry," stammers Mulder, averting his eyes. "Good night, Scully."

It turns out that Ashlynn Brooke is Lilith, an apocryphal Hebrew succubus summoned back to life (and Pasadena) by creepy sex magick practitioner Andrew Barsons (Ralph Long). As Mulder and Scully track Barsons' movements, Lilith devours leather-clad swingers Evan Stone and Audrey Bitoni.

She even eats Stone's balls.

You should boycott "The Sex Files" on principle if it did not feature a sex scene between Mulder and Scully, so luckily for everyone it does. And their climactic tryst doesn't arrive by some device like a dream sequence. We actually sense their longing for each other throughout the movie. It's, well, earnest.

Another selling point of this movie is how good it looks. Shot on the red digital camera, "The Sex Files" looks rich. And the color palette provided by a series of lush brunettes and the languid Kane give the movie a real beauty. Furthermore, Stone and Rosano provide plenty of eye candy for female and gay audiences, and the gore is all off-camera.

Kane and Rosano carry this movie, which was very carefully directed by Hain to allow for beats and stillness. Director of Photography Eddie Powell throws in a special effect that has never before been seen in porn, and we are left in the end with a real feeling of hope that bad shit will never again befall Mulder and Scully.

I wish for everyone involved that this movie could have been sold on those alt.xfiles BBS pages of yore and made ten times its budget back, but this movie is going up against some heavy hitters as we move into AVN nomination season.

Still, if you Trust No One other than me, you really should see "The Sex Files." You'll believe - in your pants!!!!

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Angelic Shirley Is Waiting In A Tampa Gloryhole

Gram Ponante — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Somewhere in a dingy Tampa bookshop kneels naked, 20-year-old Shirley. She peers through a crudely cut hole in the sheetrock and waits for all comers. She doesn't have to wait long.

"Gloryhole Girlz 6" takes us back to a time when porn was just a little more sordid, unpolished, and local. Dirty D Productions is, after all, the same outfit that brings us the "Crack Whore Confessions" series.

The standard gloryhole is a very anonymous (save for the stray pubes one finds clinging to the wall) endeavor. One pokes one's dick through with the hope that whomever receives it takes good care of it. But the customer never sees who is servicing him.

In "GloryHole Girlz" Shirley (and four other Tampa natives) strip for the camera and then await the inevitable, which arrives at eye level. Shirley quickly dispatches with three customers, and her interview is utterly charming, made more so by the sassy/creepy interplay between herself and the cameraman.

I like movies like this because they get to a baser, non-airbrushed level of sex for money; we can smell the tiny cubicle in which Shirley kneels from here, and her guests are not putting on any Ed Hardy douchebag airs, either. All she'd need to do to put a cap on the delightful debasement is hum "On the Good Ship Lollipop" through a mouthful of spooge.

(Maybe for the Blu-ray edition.)

The Ego Stroker Helps Her Get A Grip

Gram Ponante — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

You ever put someone's eye out while you were in the mysterious 69 position? It is the secret shame of many. But with the 69® Ego Stroker CyberSkin® Oral Sex Enhancer, she will never lose her grip again.

The blame is the worst: "If your mouth was on it, it wouldn't have popped out and gored you." "If you could have just stayed still..."

But this product, a little sleeve of externally ribbed Cyberskin, allows her to firmly grip your Shafted One as if it were a bicycle handlebar (Which it IS, right? RIGHT??), theoretically less vulnerable to losing control when she stops to take a breath or otherwise shout praises to Jesus, as she'll have her hand firmly clasped around you.

The 69® Ego Stroker CyberSkin® Oral Sex Enhancer sounds like this.

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"OverStuffed 9": What To Do With Your Bat In The Postseason

Gram Ponante — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

To call it "charming" would be a stretch (literally) , but the exertions of the women in "Overstuffed 9," as we watch them fit bigger and bigger objects into themselves, is at the very least plucky.

Studio: JM
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Allison Pierce, Kendra Secrets, Anjanette Astoria, Noname Jane, Anita Blue

Review by: Gram Ponante

There is a filter over the opening credits of Jim Powers' Big Things In Small Places movie "Overstuffed 9" that makes it look as if the camera lens is spotted with blood and something brown that we'll call dirt.

But then, you never can tell with Powers movies, because "Overstuffed 9" turns out to be as sunny as it is horrifying, because five bright and cheerful women seem to have a great time stuffing things inside themselves that might divert a mighty Western river.

First is Allison Pierce, who is seen tottering down a Porn Valley road in need of a ride. Luckily Powers and minion Johnny Thrust are right there to help. Pierce stumbles into the back seat, where she finds a pile of oversized sex toys. Eventually, of course, she asks (and is not commanded) to use them, which she does.

The sight of Pierce strenuously vaginally inhaling a window-mounted dildo while San Fernando Valley traffic goes by is glorious.

Then we meet the delicious petit-MILF Noname Jane, basking by the pool. At one point she uses her foot to hammer a dildo into herself. She is an American Original.

In a movie like this one, sometimes a consumer feels a little safer when there is a hint of plot. The next scene features Anita Blue devising a way to "stretch (my) ass out for Big Willie when he comes back from Iraq." Cue a baseball bat in the ass.

Anjanette Astoria and Kendra Secrets fill up the rear (literally), but by that time this reviewer was on his way to Sport Chalet.

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My Tutor: Gracie Glam And Tanner Mayes

Gram Ponante — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Gracie Glam masturbates (as would you) in a camper in the middle of California's windswept high desert. Just outside stands Tanner Mayes, her masturbation fodder. "You're 18 now," breathes Mayes. "You don't have to do this alone."

It is both hard to imagine and a solid fact about porn that Tanner Mayes is now a veteran of it, and has been cast as starstruck Gracie's mentor. Should the delicious Ms. Glam stay around for eight more months she, too, will be almost senatorial by comparison with the young Turkettes disembarking Porn Valley's Greyhounds.

Anyway, Glam has been jilling off to Tanner's pictorial in a recent issue of Hustler. Lucky for both of them, this camper scene leads off Hustler's "Barely Legal 98," a nice effort and return to form for the series, which itself played tutor to about a jillion imitators.

"Your cookie is so tight," says Mayes to Glam, and do we detect a hint of nostalgia from the 20-year-old star? Perhaps not, but rest assured we'd like Tanner's cookies if they were rolling around loose in the bag with a bunch of raisins and unidentifiable things.

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"Trisexual Asylum": So Much More Than A Booby Hatch

Gram Ponante — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Consider the Brazilian transsexual. How many times has she heard the party-ending question "Who brought the tranny to the threesome" (and in Portuguese, no less)? Now imagine how high the stakes would be in a mental hospital.

That's right. Picture a humid Rio insane asylum with its hypnotic samba rhythms and Carnaval setting, as the patients sip their Caipirinhas and talk about their feelings. When the nurses leave, the cocks come out.

Maybe we paint a disquieting picture of healthcare in other parts of the world, but we do so only as a public service. We also want to alert you to the fact that every country seems to have its own Tanner Mayes.

Because apparently, in Brazil, there are asylums in which the therapeutic milieu requires four tits and four balls carried by just three people.

Popshots of the Week! Cummin' On Ya

Gram Ponante — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:30:01 EDT

It was difficult to find an above-the-fold image to grace this week's Sindee/Bree/Sasha/Jada-rrific Popshots, so we went with a time-honored rule: No Penile Penetration on the First Page (but you can be assured that Sindee Jennings is thinking about it).

It really was Tommy Gunn's week: First he debuted his pretty awesome "Cummin at You" 3-D porn, in which he and Sindee Jennings literally COME RIGHT AT YOU, and then he trotted off to fuck Jada Fire in Dave Naz's upcoming "Cheating Hollywood Wives" for Private.

I love this picture of Jada Fire. She looks like the type of backup singer the star gets jealous of and kicks off the tour.

Next is Bree Olson in the upcoming "Bree's College Daze 3" for Adam & Eve. Like ZZ Top once did, Bree travels to various places - in the case of these movies, colleges - and makes things right. With her very Breeness.

Breeness rhymes with penis, and that is exactly what Mr. Marcus has up Sasha Grey in "Cheating Hollywood Wives." See how I worked that in there? See how Mr. Marcus did? One seems more fun than the other ...

"Teenage Babysitters": Now In German

Gram Ponante — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Sometimes we ask too much of porn. "Make it clever so we won't feel guilty." "Don't make us think too much." But the question that rang through our screening of "Teenage Babysitters" was, "Shouldn't babysitter porn make us happy?"

Teenage Babysitters

Studio: Powersville/JM
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Katja Kassin, Kacey Jordan, Otto Bauer, Tara Lynn Foxx, Tanner Mayes, Yasmine Gold

"You think you can tease my husband?" says the severe deutscheMILF Katja Kassin to hapless nanny Kacey Jordan in "Teenage Babysitters." "You don't even know how to suck dick!"

One feels that this couple, who imported Jordan from a place where she had to take a plane to start her job, wasn't really interested in a babysitter at all.

This oddly dark and scattershot movie from prolific director Jim Powers is preceded by ads for his websites teenyboppercockgobblers.com and wetmilfholes.com, anticipating the action to come, which involves the almost 40-minute first scene between narrator/star Kassin, Otto Bauer, and Jordan, and a similarly Teutonic outing with German starlet Yasmine Gold, Jay Lassiter, and Tanner Mayes.

Perhaps to avoid any confusion with cheery titles like Digital Playground's "Babysitters," Powers' movie features a layered, somber synthesizer soundtrack like in an 80's noir. Kassin's German commands are fun, as are Otto Bauer's near-constant mugging, but the movie does not seem to know what kind of porn movie it wants to be. Fun and zany? Dark and ironic?

In any case, it's fun to watch, especially a scene with Tanner Mayes looking troubled, which is her signature expression.

We're glad that the "Teenage Baysitters"' youthful charges are all implied, because the sight of Mayes, Jordan, Gold, and Tara Lynn Foxx flouncing around the house might be detrimental to their development.

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"Orgy At The Villa": Portuguese Poolside Poontang

Gram Ponante — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:30:01 EDT

When we see the hairless, lush pussy of a willing European barmaid presented to us as frankly as a UN resolution we wonder, "Why did we ever leave?"

Orgy at the Villa

Studio: Private
Director: Andrew Newman
Cast: Madison Parker, Simone Peach, Jasmyne Black, Mike Angelo, Natalli di Angelo, Kid Jamaica, Naomy, Sandy, Eve Angel, Zenza Raggi

Review by: Gram Ponante

When I received Private's "Orgy at the Villa," I assumed the venerable Barcelona-based porn giant was getting into the parody market and taking aim at Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi's flabby adulterous escapades. Luckily I was wrong.

Instead, this delightful Euroromp follows Mario, described in voiceover as a Chicago nightclub owner who turned state's witness (don't worry - this bit of subtext is never mentioned again) as he beds bartenders and exotic dancers in tandem with his Brazilian buddy Marcos in sunny Portugal.

I am not as familiar with Europe's porn talent as I am with America's resources. But I want to be.

As Mario and Marcos reunite at the latter's villa with their dates, we watch in fascination as the blonde who just sucked her own ass off Marcos' dick greets the couples' guests. Luckily it is in the European way, with kisses on the cheeks, rather than full on the mouth.

Mario takes a nap after his trip but his girlfriend greets Marcos for a tryst on the balcony. We get the sense that Mario wouldn't mind, as everyone knows there will be an orgy later anyway. And even though Marcos doesn't seem like the brightest bulb (after his guests have been at his villa for several minutes, he announces "this is my house!"), we understand implicitly that the two men have shared much in their lives.

And, as guests filter in with a voiceover describing their relationship with one another ("Eve left Marcos' huge cock for Sandy's plump pussy lips"), we are again reminded that socialized healthcare is not the only reason to live in Europe.

The voiceovers are charming. Private releases movies in several languages so we are happy for the effort, even if, narratively, we know that no backstory will matter if there's going to be a giant poolside fuckfest at the end of the movie (which there is).

A character is introduced later in the movie, Mike (the dramatis personae are not really made clear, but it is easy to tell from the credits that Marcos, the black guy, is Kid Jamaica, and Mario, who speaks with a Hungarian accent, is the multi-pseudonymned Zenza Raggi, so that the person identified by the voiceover as "Mike" must be the only other man listed in the credits: Mike Angelo. No one said reviewing porn was easy. Oh, someone did? Well it's not) who has the best job of the movie: he picks up a stunning large-breasted girl on the beach and takes her to the orgy at the villa. At press time I can't figure out who she is, but she is the type of woman who can box your ears with her breasts, like she was the porn version of Mr. Gower from "It's A Wonderful Life."

The characters thus assembled, each with his or her own backstory provided by a narratrix who may or may not be in the movie, the event described in the title happens after an awkward mimosa toast. Poolside, on lounges, with high heels, drinks in hand, they fuck, and fuck, and fuck.

I don't know what else to say about this movie other than I believed it. I think this actually happened. If only Silvio Berlusconi could have been there.

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Sophie Dee's Former Breasts In "Memoirs Of A Gusher 5"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Remember the 1997 novel and 2005 Hollywood movie "Memoirs of a Geisha"? Well, this female jackfest has nothing to do with those works. I don't know how the authors could have reconciled Sophie Dee squirting across the Japanese countryside.

Memoirs of A Gusher 5

Studio: Pink Visual
Director: various
Cast: Sophie Dee, Katherine Lee, Carmella Santaigo, Jaime Tyler, Nikki Hilton

Review by: Gram Ponante

Not only is the lone squirting Asian in the movie, Katherine Lee, not Japanese, but she also doesn't look too concerned about her family's lasting shame. "Memoirs of a Gusher" is one of those porn puns that has come to be accepted on its own merits, even as the object of the joke has faded from memory. Like when I released "To Sir, With a Handjob."

Anyway, this movie is interesting for its two great bookending scenes, the first with covergirl Sophie Dee, who squirts 11 camera-soaking times, and the second with the vivacious Carmella Santiago.

Both Dee and Santiago are delightful interview subjects, and the directors of both scenes made sure to place them against slightly dark backgrounds, so that when they squirted, we'd see it.

This movie also marks one of Dee's final scenes before she got her stupendous boob job. In this movie, even though she's squirting all over the place, she looks almost innocent.

The three scenes in the middle are somewhat squirty, but not particularly dramatic. Plus it's hard to tell when someone is squirting if the room is too bright. Squirting is about spectacle, and we need to see the streams arcing through the air.

The movie returns to form with Santiago, who smiles like a Disney tour guide through her scene, and we're happy right along with her.

Even if we might not remember Arthur Goden's novel or Rob Marshall's film, "Memoirs of a Gusher 5" at least allows us to see, one final time, Sophie Dee's former breasts.

"Puckered Up": Remembrance of Things Assed

Gram Ponante — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:30:01 EDT

"Puckered Up" is an anal game show, but no one goes home empty-assed. In fact, about the only thing that doesn't make its way up the netherest part of Amber Rayne is a $25,000 pyramid.

Puckered Up: The Anal Game Show

Studio: Hustler
Director: Richard de Montfort
Cast: Sasha Grey, Amber Rayne, Trinity Post, Maxi, Michelle Avanti, Missy Stone, Daisy Strong

Review by: Gram Ponante

The setup is simple: five women compete for bragging rights in an anal match game that would even impress Charles Nelson Reilly. So if you like really clinical closeups of anuses that are as well maintained as they are capacitous (sometimes, as you may unfortunately know, the two don't always go hand in hand), this is the movie for you.

For the rest of us, well, any chance to watch Amber Rayne work is worth the effort of not being the biggest fan of graphic studies of the movie's hole of choice. But the scholar appreciates it the way one might not like opera but sure thinks those valkyries are hot.

Rayne performs her party tricks with verve and abandon, setting a standard almost impossible for Michelle Avanti, Trinity Post, and covergirl Sasha Grey to follow. Trinity Post is adorable in her scene, and Grey's greenroom tryst with Daisy Strong is, if not the best work either has done, at least postmodern.

Speaking of postmodern, "Puckered Up" is probably the final movie of the late Richard de Montfort's to be released, though it was shot at various times over the past few years, as we can tell by the presence of Michelle Avanti, who left the adult business last year to become an anti-porn crusader. Her scene with a man whose dick looks like a full bladder is almost painful to watch, as she is clearly on (or off) her meds and because he has the habit of repeating "That's nasty."

"Puckered Up," in terms of its game show theme, is a little scattershot, but for hardcore browneye fans this movie is a goldmine.

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Three Times An "Interracial MILF Orgy"

Gram Ponante — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:00:00 EDT

If you are a strong black man like me, doubtless you are wondering where you were when the first two episodes of "Interracial MILF Orgy" were released. But don't trip, Boo: it's good that you just chilled until this episode.

Today's milves are looking more and more like yesterday's porn ingenues and alt girls with their tramp stamps and fetishy pasts. What interested me was the appearance on the boxcover of delightful Eurotart Maria Bellucci and, of all people, Julie Simone.

Simone is best known for her bondage and fetish work, so it was intriguing to think about what she'd be up to in a straight-up gonzo movie. In this outing she plays one of Vannah Sterling's sympathetic friends who show up for her divorce party.

There is something comforting about this movie. Each of the women squeezes into such whorish clothing for what one could only assume was to be a General Foods International bonding moment, clacking across the wood floors of a Porn Valley rental home, that no one should be surprised that a group of men from next door came by to fuck the living daylights out of them.

Still, no one seems to mind.

The heaving MILFflesh on display here is truly astounding, and we want to see more of each of the participants, including the perfectly shaved Simone, Sterling, the enthusiastic Sheila Marie, Bellucci, Mallanie Monroe, and Raquel Seib. But filming an interracial orgy - as you know - is like herding cats. And in a room with wood floors the gibbers and squeaks bounce around, making the movie cacophanous and unfocused.

So turn off the sound and hope for the best; something will definitely slide into view.

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"Pure": Your Bloody Asian Valentine

Gram Ponante — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:00:00 EDT

"It was a fabulous tabloid scandal in 1930's Tokyo, forcing the repressed society to confront sex and death in explicit terms," said David Aaron Clark of the true story behind his upcoming "Pure," a movie I'm very excited to see.

"'Pure' is based on a real-life incident that has fascinated me for many years," Clark, who rarely works outside his beloved Asian palette, said. "Sada Abe (played by Asa Akira), an ex-hooker and failed geisha takes a maid's position at a tea house owned by a husband and wife. She starts an affair with Kichi, the husband (Keni Styles), known to be something of a rogue. They run away together and carry on a mad affair, drinking and fucking and experimenting with progressively more kinky sex. The affair starts to go sour as they run out of money."

"I hope you pay me for the rights to my life story," I said.

"One night, Sada takes the strangling game she has initiated with Kichi too far," Clark said. "A large kitchen knife becomes involved, post-mortem."

If this story sounds familiar, you might be thinking of one of at least four movies (including "In the Realm of the Senses") made about this sensational story.

Evil Angel hired Clark to write and direct his version, which features a subtle switch to L.A. fetish dungeons from the original setting of pre-World War II teahouses. Not only that, but Fleshbot favorites Asa Akira, Keni Styles, Jessica Bangkok, and Lana Violet lead a cast of dozens for this movie aimed straight at AVN awards consideration.

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