Zero Tolerance continues their award winning series about rug munchers for the people who love them most. Yes, despite nationwide bans on same sex marriage, Americans continue to purchase erotic materials that show just that—two or more women in the act of committing hardcore homosexual fornication. These girls are clearly hardened sinners, undaunted by the succulent pink folds of juicy pink pussy they dive in unflinchingly all the way up the elbows, cranking out more spray than the first three rows of a Sea World show get hit with.

Mike Quasar leads a merry band of sisters off to eternal damnation with sexy flare, joining them up in every jigsaw position imaginable and adding fodder to our oversized mental masturbation file. He deputizes Julia Ann and Raylene to lead a group of sex-starved sluts through a decadent wasteland devoid of dick.

Their pussy hungry pussy includes Monique Alexander, Courtney Cummz, Sarah Vandella, Brynn Tyler, Kylie Ireland, Missy Stone, Sophia Santi, Audrianna Angel, Bridgette B., Leah, Jackie Daniels, Velicity Von, Amber Ashlee, Taylir Scott, Melissa Jacobs, Cherry Ferretti, Lux Kassidy, Jayden Jaymes, Alyssa Reece, Kim Kennedy, Emy Reyes, Nikki Rhodes, Lexi Stone, Cali Haze, Regan Reese, Kyanna Lee, Skyla Paige, Kirra Lynne, Charley Chase, Georgia Jones, Madelyn Marie, and Louisa Lanewood.

The real question for home viewers and lesbian enthusiasts is not whether the double disc is worth giving the once over, but where to start. We can't help you there, but we can provide you with ample proof of what's inside.

"Girlvana 5" is out now from Zero Tolerance and Quasarman. Get some! You're going to burn in hell anyway, ya big hypocrite. (Just kidding.)

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· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)

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* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

The result—"Sophia Santi in White"—stars Sophia Santi, along with Maya Hills, Kapri Styles, Samantha Ryan, Natalie Minx, Misti Love, Audrey Elson, Vanessa Monet and Kimberly Kole. Sophia winds her erotically charged journey through a maze of sexual self exploration with an upbeat attitude and her steely determination to cum harder than she has ever cum before.

After a convulsion inducing round of double clicking the mouse, Sophia turns to Samantha Ryan for assistance in an all anal pleasure session that kicks off a wild ride, whose lurid scenery includes torrid scenes of both Maya Hills and Kimberly Kole displaying the proper way to suck and get drilled by a couple of well endowed studs. Celeste even throws in an amazing all dark meat Sapphic scene of chocolate lust that is sure to have you drooling.

"Sophia Santi in White" sparkles like a fist-sized blood diamond greased up with Crisco, wrapped in tinfoil, left out on the beach, then blasted with industrial strength lasers. It releases on DVD and Blu-ray October 6th, 2009 but you can get a sneak peek of it right here and now. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground.

Try not to demolish your keyboards in the process. You'd be surprised how well using a little plastic wrap works. Just saying.

Sophia Santi, Aliana Love, Vanessa Monet, and Kapri Styles
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Kimberly Kole and Chris Charming
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Kimberly Kole and Chris Charming
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Kimberly Kole and Chris Charming
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Natalie Minx
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Sophia Santi, Natalie Minx and Audrey Elson
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Audrey Elson
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Sophia Santi
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Sophia Santi, Aliana Love, Vanessa Monet and Kapri Styles
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Alexis Texas, Hanna Hilton, Kagney Linn Karter, Kayden Kross, Kendall Brooks, Nikki Jayne, Puma Swede, and delicious Sophia Santi star in "XXX Top Models." Undoubtedly, these ladies constitute the proverbial cream of the crop. Each of them show off their amazing abilities for us, with the slightest suggestion from the accomplished pornographer Holly Randall, whose assiduous attention to detail and breathtaking sets leaves us practically speechless.

Sweet young Kagney Linn Karter shows off her heart melting curves, flashing her bedroom eyes as she devours cock with the appetite of seasoned veteran. Kayden Kross reminds us of why we love her so much. And once again Alexis Texas mesmerizes us with her extraordinary lady lumps, her marvelous mounds of jiggling ass vibrating hypnotically as she gets pound hard in her hot pink hole by her lover.

"XXX Top Models" is out now from Suze Randall Productions and CCI. Enjoy this exclusive gallery...and happy Monday.

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Call me curmudgeonly, but if the impromptu G/G scene is for my benefit and titillation, shouldn't the participants be hot? In my day those things were less democratic.

But let loose on each other in this playful Elegant Angel title, the likes of Sophia Santi and Alyssa Reece (they share an affinity for drinking and Vancouver), Jana Jordan and April O'Neil (one appears to be convalescing using time-honored vag-to-vag techniques), Samantha Ryan, Ryan Keely, Isobel Wren, and Karlie Montana (delightful), make it a special experience to watch women make out again.

In addition to all of the women looking happy to be there, each of these scenes is aided with a lot of natural light, which makes 2 a.m. at the Saddle Ranch seem like a distant memory.

· Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)
· Buy "Girl Play" (gamelink.com)

Well, whatever it was, we'll try to keep doing it...cause we like this trend of stars giving us everything we've ever hoped and wished for.

· Exclusive-Sophia Santi Says Anal is Still Out, but she IS a Naughty Girl, and She Now DOES BOYS! (lukeisback.com)
· Sophia Santi (sophiasantixxx.com)
· Image of Sophia Santi courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

"Sophia Santi Erotique" from Digital Playground is labeled as a Celeste "experience." Sifting through the lush cache of photographic evidence they left behind while filming, we couldn't agree more with that assessment. Snap after amazing snap, it's like living one miraculous sapphic adventure after another.

Joining the unforgettable siren are comparable beauties Karli Montana, Samantha Ryan, Kimberly Kane, Devaun, Cody Lane, Tiffany Brookes, and sexy little Micah Moore. Celeste's superior attention to detail (allowing her lighting, makeup, wardrobe, and set design to enhance the mood) helps to engulf us deeper into the perfect erotic illusion. With Sophia Santi, she is more on point than she has ever been.

Celeste is truly a master at her craft—and we couldn't be more grateful.

"Sophia Santi Erotique" comes out next week, but you can sneak a peek at some of what is in store in the exclusive gallery below. Digital Playground owns these pictures though and they will hurt far more than your feelings if you abuse their trust... so just play nice now, okay?

Sophia Santi

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Micah Moore and Charles Dera

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Sophia Santi and Tiffany Brookes

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Micah Moore and Charles Dera

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Tiffany Brookes and Sophia Santi

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Cody Lane, Italia Christie, and Marco Banderas

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Devaun and Tony De Sergio

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Sophia Santi and Kimberly Kane

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Sophia Santi and Kimberly Kane

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Sophia Santi, Samantha Ryan, and Karlie Montana

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Sophia Santi, Samantha Ryan, and Karlie Montana

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Micah Moore

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Cody Lane and Italia Christie

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Sophia Santi

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Sophia Santi

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That's where this delightful Digital Playground series comes in, exploring the comic (and sometimes tragic) pitfalls of commercial pornography. From the flaking girls to those that don't know the limitations of their own bodies, award winning Director Robby D. spins pure gold from the average situational conflicts that arise daily in the process of transforming a consumer into a director, and a horny slut (by which we mean "girl with no moral hang ups") into a pornographic superstar. They don't all start out like Sasha Grey or Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Stoya, you know! Many (if not most) of the ladies of porn need serious training up to go from amateur to Jenna Haze.

While some critics have already dubbed this installment of "My First Porn" as the "former contract performer" edition—due to hotties Sophia Santi, Adrianna Lynn, and Shay Jordan all starring as leads—we'd like to think of it more as the "fucking hot as motherfucking hell" edition—for pretty much the same reasons.

We don't ask for much, really, and yet somehow the good people over at Digital Playground seem to surprise and amaze us nearly every time. If we have one tiny little grouse, it might be that aside from red delight Kiki (don't even get us started on how incendiary we think she is), most of these girls, including Fleshbot Crush Object Shawna Lenee, aren't really all that "new" to this. Still, all anomalies, anachronisms, and alliteration aside, that knowledge does little to distract from the overall prurient quality of the release. We remained rigidly spellbound throughout... and our guess is that you will too.

"My First Porn 11" releases today from Digital Playground. They own these pix so watch yourself—all rights are reserved, home slice!

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

We hope Katsuni knows that deep down, she is not the only Sexual Freak. Seriously, look around—Teagan is a Sexual Freak. Shay Jordan is a Sexual Freak, Sophia Santi is a Sexual Freak. Stoya, Audrey Bitoni, Lacie Heart—all Sexual Freaks. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could all get together and just feel normal? Can’t you imagine Digital Playground’s new line of films, starting with "Jesse Jane(TM): Well-Adjusted Secure Girl" (a celeste punt)?

· Digital Playground (www.DigitalPlayground.com)
· Buy "Sexual Freak 10 - Katsuni" (gamelink.com)

The Wicked

A couple fucks in a day-for-night desert as Wicked's vampire movie, The Wicked, opens. After putting on her clothes, she realizes she is alone. "Where are you?" she panics in the emptiness. "This isn't funny anymore!"

Well, who said it was ever funny? She is soon dispatched with, a 28 Days Later-style burst of screams, blood, growls, and an out of control camera. Wicked vampires!

As the opening credits roll past the unfortunate woman, we meet a Volkswagen Bus full of adventurers. Among them is Kaylani Lei, off to the desert for a weekend concert after finding her boyfriend in bed with a hooker (Jenny Hendrix). I don't know why she got so mad - doesn't she know that Jenny Hendrix is Good Times personified and no threat to Real Love?

Then we meet Baby and Otis (Stormy Daniels and Derrick Pierce), shifty types who've suffered a breakdown in the desert. Luckily our heroes happen by to pick them up, though only the driver (Barrett Blade) seems to think it's a good idea. Another passenger is Voodoo, a conspiracy buff cautious about weirdness in the desert. He is not taken seriously. In fact, the drive is so fraught with manufactured tension that we wonder why any of these people are friends.

Everyone is so nice to look at, though, that I guess it doesn't matter if they like each other.

The porn talent pool is so small, and the contract star system so limiting, that chemistry is hard to find, even in a population that has interfucked so often. One thing going for The Wicked is Blade's and Voodoo's chemistry with Lei, Tori Black, Scarlett Fay, and the other females in the cast. And, when they're allowed, Daniels and Pierce find room for "character" work.

Chemistry or no, the gang is edgy after a long drive, and strange things are happening in the middle of nowhere. Worse still, only Daniels' and Pierce's sex scene is filmed in natural light; everything else shows up in cold blue or red. This can only detract from excellent scenes between Voodoo and Fay and Blade and Lei.

In her motel bed, Kaylani dreams of being ravished by vampires in the desert (including Sophia Santi). Then she goes to a strip club with her pals and lets loose. Oddly enough, some of the characters from her dream show up as strippers! You wouldn't expect to find such high quality strippers in such a remote location, either.

There's other odd things going on in Desert City. Regardless, Kaylani and Barrett get over their friction and learn to love each other. Napping in the car, however, Kaylani again dreams of the vampires. Voodoo gets more agitated and, once the crew arrives at the concert, the stage is set for a bloodbath, as the vampires show up en masse for their solstice feast.

But it isn't scary. Shouldn't it be? Maybe the market suggests otherwise.

Since Wicked makes so many gauzily competent movies that seem to avoid actual inspiration, I wonder if sales figures indicate that being too good or too edgy or - in the case of a vampire movie - too scary might hurt business.

The Wicked's twist ending attests to the fact that a movie with great production values and a competent yet derivative script is Wicked's way of suggesting mainstream movies without actually ripping them off, a la Pirates. But what's the matter with an outright porn ripoff if it's good? The Wicked is a good porn movie but the vehicle of its story - the horror! - falls flat. I think it's the condom policy.

Review by: Gram Ponante

Studio: Wicked
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: Kaylani Lei, Stormy Daniels, Mikayla Mendez, Annabelle Lee, Jenny Hendrix, Roxy Deville, Scarlett Fay, Sophia Santi, Tori Black, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Barrett Blade, Barry Scott, Derrick Pierce, Evan Stone, Johnny Castle, Rocco Reed, Voodoo

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "The Wicked" (gamelink.com)

The biggest American adult industry event prior to January's AVN Expo, the "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" premiere attracted most of the movie's stars including Jesse Jane, Katsuni, Stoya, the sylphlike Riley Steele, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Steven St. Croix, and David Aaron Clark, seen here with Jandi Lin, whose process in his pivotal whore-negotiating scene involved eating two turkey legs.

"I was there for two days of shooting," he said.

The premiere marks the midpoint of "Pirates"-related marketing and publicity, coming more than three years after the debut of its predecessor's first press release and three years before the collected weight of all its publicity efforts will sink the Pacific Rim (which, considering the analingus involved in this movie, would have made a good subtitle).

The only porn stars to arrive dressed like pirates were the swashbuckling Nicki Hunter and Tommy Gunn, the Stagnetti of the title, who wore his evil glass eye.

"I wasn't in the movie much," he said. "But I'm hoping for a Supporting Actor nomination," Gunn said.

"But you were the title character," we observed. Hollywood is so unfair.

Former Digital Playground contract performer Teagan prowled the red carpet for XBiz which, like rival AVN, now features video interviews. If only Sophia Santi and Janine had been there, it would have been a "Pirates" reunion.

Other porn luminaries in attendance were publicity magnet Kayden Kross, Aiden Starr, Bobbi Starr (no relation), Ringo Starr (not actually there), Satine Phoenix, Jenna Haze, and Sasha Grey, who came dressed as Sasha Grey.

As usual, Ange Venus, who plays the inscrutable Katsuni's henchwoman in the movie, attracted most of the attention on the red carpet, wearing almost nothing but her hair. Katsuni by comparison dressed very elegantly. It was as if Venus was going to the MTV Awards and Katsuni to the Golden Globes.

This reporter spent so much time outside that he did not get in on the free bar in the lobby, but by then the movie was starting. The crowd cheered as the first popshot broke over Shay Jordan's prow. We'll give you a review of the movie, that may or may not include the blurb Belladonna is salad tosseriffic!, soon.

- Photos by DCypher



• "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" (official site @ piratesthemovie.com)
• Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Pirates II: Stagnett's Revenge" (Adult DVD Empire)

While the disc is worth peeping for that footage of the Casper-skinned Stoya getting “romanced” in every available orifice alone, it's filled with the customary zest (we did call it "zesty", right?) that's become a hallmark of the entire "My First Porn" series. So even if some of the starlets aren't technically making their porn debuts here, at least they're fucking like it's their first time in front of the camera ... and isn't that the whole point anyway?

· Preview photos via Digital Playground
· "My First Porn 10" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "My First Porn 10" (adultdvdempire.com)

For those who miss the cock, Cayton Caley, Harmony, Lexi Love, and Kelly Kline provide backup support in a release which for all intents and purposes signals the end of Jana's tour of duty with Digital Playground. Meanwhile, we hear that Jana swears that she's heterosexual in her private life—but it looks like we're still going to have to wait a while to see whether that's truly the case. (We did mention we weren't complaining though, right?)

Photos courtesy Digital Playground.

· "Jana Cova: Erotique" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Jana Cova: Erotique" (Adult DVD Empire)

Check out our "Cheerleaders" preview gallery after the jump.

. . .

Photos courtesy Digital Playground

· "Cheerleaders" (hardcore trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Cheerleaders" (Blu-Ray) (Adult DVD Empire)

"Cheerleaders" will be available on Blu-Ray and snail-disc on April 4. We're hoping "Stewardesses" is next.

· "Cheerleaders" (hardcore trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Cheerleaders" (Blu-Ray) (Adult DVD Empire)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

It's simple, really: attach a leg to Sophia Santi. See more snaps after the gap.

Santi and Selina Draagen spend so much time ripping each other's pantyhose off that I wondered why they even bothered to put it on. I wish they'd come over here to explain it to me.

While Santi and Draagen are both 5'9", Alexis Love is about as big as your thumb. Still, high heels make legs look long.

Someone visits Veronique Vega.

...but not the same person visiting Lacie Heart, who here is credited as "Jamie". There's a story behind it, but the picture's better.

Dreamy Jean Valjean reminds Micah Moore that French Tips aren't a real fetish.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Jack's Leg Show 3" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Photoplay Archive

Free the hand that rocks the cradle after the gap.

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Babysitters

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Sophia Santi, Teagan Presley, Sasha Grey, Nikki Benz, Nautica Thorn, Gina Lynn, Tommy Gunn, Lexxi Tyler, Sammie Rhodes, Alektra Blue, Angie Savage, Ben English, Charles Dera, Jerry, Saascha, Scott Nails, Tony De Sergio, Tyler Durden, Jay Lassiter

Review by Gram Ponante

It's impossible, of course, to have babysitters without children, but it is absolutely verboten to have images of children in porn movies, so we see their diapers and tricycles and can only wonder at their parents' poor judgment in hiring Sasha Grey to babysit.

A loose network of babysitters and neighborhood families take part in interwoven stories in this movie that features many of Digital Playground's contract stars in roles that are smaller than would normally merit their inclusion on a boxcover, but it is a pleasure to see them anyway.

The thought of the above-named cast operating a babysitting collective (their uniform is usually a backpack) is more titillating, for some reason, than the same group on a cheerleading squad. It must be my biological clock.

Nautica Thorn seduces a dad without too much effort, mopey teen Sasha Grey goes, in one scene, from a frigid prude to a cock-smoking dynamo in the next. This is explained away when she shows up for a babysitting gig that has been canceled. "I would do anything for that money," she tells the dad (and his friends). Cue boning.

Elsewhere, dominatrix Sophia Santi has a party with the wives. Wielding a strap-on, she orders:

"Bitch? Spit on that shit! I'm gonna take this cock and go home." (Santi is an undertapped resource, in my opinion). We see the leonine Angie Savage atop a strap-on mounted to Alektra Blue's leg. Smart: this allows the use of the knee as a pressure point as well as full view of all the special parts.

Teagan Presley, looking splendid after her own maternity leave, returns as the unlikely babysitter of a boy whose legal-age brother waits upstairs, masturbating. The brother has a broken leg, which is perhaps how producers got around the conundrum of why the absent mom and dad would hire Teagan in the first place.

Then Shay Jordan and Scott Nails get it on in the movie's Most Likely to Happen in Real Life pairing: the babysitter's boyfriend comes over while the folks are out. That Shay J. is a yeller.

Then, horrors, Shay is caught by parents Gina Lynn and Ben English. Best scene in the movie. (Scott Nails beats it out the back door.)

Then the combination is repeated, this time with Tommy Gunn, Jesse Jane, and Nikki Benz. It is almost redundant to say that Jane is so practiced and gleeful with her sex kitten roles (and Digital Playground never makes the mistake of casting her against type) that she always ups the ante. Gunn, too, can be seen actually acting. The dialogue and the setups might be simple, but I never get the feeling that he's tuning out.

An unintentionally hilarious scene pops up between two porn dudes commenting on Sasha Grey's blowjob antics. Their scene is known in porn circles as the "High Five", in which two guys will high-five each other over the woman they've just unloaded on. In this case, the men are just watching from the sidelines, but still congratulating each other with pints of beer. Since both speak English with heavy Slavic accents, it is almost impossible to understand them.

While we can suspend our disbelief enough to imagine married mom of one Jesse Jane as a gum-smacking babysitter, these guys just look like they shouldn't be there, and wouldn't be saying those things if they were.

Writer/director Robby D., while he has Digital Playground's financial resources and talent pool to draw from, nevertheless also makes Babysitters a fast-paced, fluid, cheerful, well edited movie, down to characters from one scene reaching for a doorknob that opens a door to a new scene with different characters. This might not seem like much in mainstream terms, but any effort pays off in porn, and Babysitters, already ahead because of its cast, benefits from his direction.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Babysitters" (gamelink.com)

Let's join (you) for (your) virtual endeavors with Shay J., in front of a green screen or on a table, after the gap.

- - -

"Hey Sexy. Do you like what you see here? This pretty little body? This thin, young little body?" (What are you saying?)

Shay J. was rolled out by Digital Playground last year. Sort of a shorter Sophia Santi who does guys. (In this case, [you] are played by Scott Nails). Shay J. was born in the Phillippines and has been very friendly each time (we've) met her.

"I'm a Scorpio. Scorpios are ruled by their genitals."

"I've never had a one-night stand, but if I did, it would have to be in some other place. Talk to a guy, fall in love with his words, even if they're all game, and then have wild passionate monkey sex."

One of the possible outcomes of (your) tryst with Shay J. is the traditional coming on the feet.

Jordan has a very appealing but slight Spanish accent, which makes her pronunciation of "dick" seem especially nasty.

"When you're watching my movies, get off hard. Because I'm thinking of you when I'm doing it."

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Virtual Sex with Shay Jordan" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photoplay Archive

We hold Sophia Santi in such fondness that it only occurs to us every now and then that she might not love us back. It is on these occasions when we wonder, "Have we once seen Sophia Santi smile?" This feeling, of course, puts us smack-dab in the middle of the construction worker patriarchy which daily demands female passersby "smile". It is this combination of guilt and lust, we feel, that will only imperil our teaching certification.

Sophia Santi does smile for the impish Kimberly Kane (who wouldn't?) and the sultry Karlie Montana in "Juice". Check out the documentary evidence after the gap. - GP

- - -

"Sophia Santi's Juice", staged by Digital Playground director Celeste, showcases Santi in casual interludes in a girls-only playground of whimsy and fruit. Each scene, whether it features Santi or not, somehow involves fruit.

The above scene is actually the last of the film, in which Samantha Ryan, center, bemoans the fact that none of her recent boyfriends has been able to satisfy her. Santi coolly offers to change that, but her haughty affectation is shattered by the entrance of Kane, who burps. I like to think that the fantasy of leggy vixens cavorting together with a banana in a Hollywood rental is the same across America. I thought: "That Kimberly Kane makes everyone feel better."

Karlie Montana gets another smile out of Santi as the two prepare for a night on the town that changes to a night on the couch.

Finally, satisfied of Santi's happiness (right), I became concerned with Jelena Jensen's boobs (left). I think they need safekeeping.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Sophia Santi's Juice" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photoplay Archive

We're starting to learn that Sophia Santi is one of those girls whose mind is always working. We've already explored her affinity for theoretical physics and as her elaborate Angelina Jolie-hot wax scenario demonstrates, she has an active imagination, too. Unfortunately, we didn't think to ask for her thoughts on heavy ion colliders or the Higgs boson during this one-on-one interview, which is just as well since we wouldn't have understood the answer anyway. But we did ask her our favorite (and now infamous) cursed question, which to our knowledge has not caused any more tragic house fires. We'll cross our fingers for the Santi household ... and for Angelina to call about that shopping trip real soon.

· See also: Sophia Santi on MySpace (myspace.com)
· Order: "Virtual Sex with Sophia Santi" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: Fleshbot Facials: Monique Alexander Returns From The Grave, Sex Toys Of The Stars: Sophia Santi and Shay Jordan, Exploring Particle Physics With Sophia Santi, Fleshbot's Top Ten Crush Objects Of 2006, Meet Sophia Santi

Complex Magazine goes deep inside—or rather stands a respectful distance away from and watches—Digital Playground starlets and Fleshbot Crush Objects™ Sophia Santi and Shay Jordan to get their take on a handful of products that go buzz, bump, rub, and tickle in the night. It's not the most comprehensive or in-depth sex toy review you'll come across, and not surprisingly special attention is lavished upon Sophia's new line of marital aids from Cal Exotics (says Sophia of her "Luscious Lips" ridged masturbator, "It's molded in my likeness, so it would be really entertaining to watch my man use that. I like watching a guy handle his own business in front of me.") Still, as far as advertorials go, it at least has the merit of having two insanely hot porn star spokesmodels talking about their naughty bits, making it more than worth your price of admission. Which is free. So what are you complaining about?

· Sophia Santi and Shay Jordan: "Toy Soldiers" (complex.com)
· CalExotics (calexotics.com)

Previously: Exploring Particle Physics With Sophia Santi, DVD: Shay Jordan in "Jack's POV 6", Meet Sophia Santi, DVD Review: Digital Playground's "Deeper", Porn Valley Dispatch: The Shay Debut, AVN Countdown: T-Minus 15, Fleshbot's Top Ten Crush Objects Of 2006

We don't remember whether we noticed what Sophia Santi was reading when we met her at the Digital Playground booth at the AVN Expo a few months ago, but had we been less distracted by her gorgeous eyes and that stunning dragon tattoo on her back we might have been able to strike up a conversation about particle physics and quantum proof of the existence of God: as she explained in an on-set interview for XFanz last week, "Particle physics proves the existence of god ... You need observation to collapse possibilities. Before the big bang, you needed a consciousness to collapse everything into one thing." Sophia's extracurricular studies don't set too well with some of her admirers, however: "I once met a fan, and after he spoke with me for awhile and found out I was really intelligent, he said, 'Wow, that totally killed the fantasy for me.'" No need to worry about that happening with us, Sophia—if there's anything that turns us on more than hot girl-on-girl action, it's things like vision boards and the simultaneous observation of all possible states of being by a conscious entity. Now that we know you're well-rounded in more ways than just the obvious, we're crushing on you more than ever.

· "Digital Playground: Sophia Santi" (interview @ xfanz.com)
· Sophia Santi @ Wikipedia and MySpace

See also:
· "The Biology Of Belief: Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter And Miracles" (Amazon)
· "Virtual Sex With Sophia Santi" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: Meet Sophia Santi, DVD Review: Digital Playground's "Deeper", AVN Countdown: T-Minus 15, Fleshbot's Top Ten Crush Objects Of 2006