Sex Blog Roundup: It's Fucking Art!

We may not know much about art, but we sure know hot sex writing when we see it—and we also know how to pass it along to you, because that's the kind of caring connoisseurs we are. Today's selection some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene this week features all that highfalutin stuff you were forced to appreciate in high school, like painting, dance, poetry and meat puppets. Only, you know, with penises and blow jobs, because we like our art best when it reflects what life is really like.

Put on that smock and join your muse Chelsea Girl in the art supply closet after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Chelsea Girl

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Penis Prints

Now it's arts and crafts night here at Rated (R)upert and I'm going to show you step by step how I make my Penis Print Cards. These are actual cards I make for friend's birthdays. This is the third one ever made of my penis and it is going to my friend and one of The Band co-stars, Princess, he is also the founding member of a few well known Melbourne bands, Fez Perez, Sons of Lee Marvin, and The Three Argyles. His birthday is tomorrow night at a tidy wine bar. The first ever card was made for the The Idyller for his birthday held at a Pizza restaurant. The second ever Penis Print Card was sent to my friend Friedbrains in Bolivia where between spending time doing karaoke and getting homesick has been performing my poems about town. So you see, these cock crafted cards are the perfect gift for any friend especially when they hold it up in front of people and you must then declare exactly what the print is of. Don't worry if your artistic skills are not up to scratch, this is at finger painting level.

Here is how to do it, step by step. First remove your clothes ...

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Fuck-Me-Ups

It's been one of those days: nothing goes according to plan, you get mad at your closest friends, heavy objects fall on you from high places, the toast burns, you find out Denis still hasn't updated, and you botch all your nude self-portraits. Normally I'd spare you the sob story and post when my mood improves and/or I can deliver a great photo. However, I have a better idea: I'll share my fuck-ups.

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Dancin' Round the Giant Phallus

"DN, are you going to the May Pole dance tomorrow morning?" my roommate asked me freshman year.

I looked up from Really Hard French Verbs To Conjugate and said "I'm sorry, what?"

"Are you going to the May Pole dance tomorrow morning?" she repeated as she tossed her heavy bag on the floor and turned on Days of Our Lives.

I hadn't misheard her. She seriously had just asked me that.

"We do a May Pole dance? Us? Feminist University?"

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Meat Puppet?

This afternoon, she either will or will not give Mr. G that blowjob. When she comes home and after the baby is fast asleep she will ask me whether or not I think she gave it to him. If I guess right, then I can lick her pussy to my heart's content (or at least until she kicks me away). But if I guess wrong I get nothing.

This is powerful sex magick to a cuck locked in a chastity device for over a week. I've been thinking lots about this. I love her pussy. I need to dip my tongue into it and pleasure her. I'm her meat puppet and she pulls my strings.

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Stabbed

I came with the violence of last night,
where we wrestled
on a crime-scene bed,
limbs entangling
underneath the sheets
in a tug-of-war with
the half-ripped clothes
we couldn't wait to take off. The fingerprint bruises
digging into your back
must've been my revenge

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Hasratda

Hasratda can literally be translated as "in lust" or "in heat," if you will. It was the expression that my best friend Y. has used to describe any woman going up in flames of lust and eager carnal anticipation. Usually it referred to a girl who was not currently romantically attached, and therefore seeking and available, her starved femininity longing to be put to use.

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See also: Sugasm #78: The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them (sugasm.com)

Thumbnail via cakeandcock.blogspot.com

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

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