By Dashiell Bennett, 9:53 AM on Thu Jul 5 2007, 276,495 views (Edit, to draft, un-top, Slurp)

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If you thought some Mexican lawyering and a big bank account would be enough to keep those "hardcore" pictures of Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey out of the public eye, you don't know much about the internets. Although, if you're slightly suspicious that one of Hollywood's more noticeable couples could get "caught" having sex in an outdoor tub, and the pictures would somehow mysteriously get spread around the globe we wouldn't blame you, especially now that we've seen the first batch of snaps from their notorious south of the border vacation. There's no bare boobs or stray ween and not even one lousy penetration shot, but obvs ... they're so totally doing it. Who knows if there's more where this came from (or who that awkwardly placed third leg belongs to) but whether they want attention or they just want to drive Jessica Simpson to drinking ... mission accomplished.

· I am - The First of the Nick and Vanessa Pics to Surface (drunkenstepfather.com)