While I would move to any country Jesse Jane is sent were she to become a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, most people lack my resources and the drive that has left my enemies hypnotized. Here, then, is another way you can have America's ubiquitous porn star fondle your boobies. (Note: you'll need boobies.) Mind the gap.
- G. Ponante

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SugarDVD, an e-tailer of adult movies and toys, is big into contests. Lately they've been accepting submissions from America's Comeliest Undiscovereds to join Jesse Jane on Playboy's "Nightcalls" for a little disrobing and making out.

"I'm a little nervous," said Sharon from Wisconsin, the contest's first winner.

"I WANNA SEE YOU NAKED!!!" stated Jane, displaying the demure Victorian charm that hearkens back to a simpler time, after which she and co-host Kirsten Price did all manner of non-threatening, softcore things to the erstwhile non-naked lady.

"We fly them out, we make sure they can get the day off work, we put them up in a nice Doubletree-style hotel, and we fly them back," said SugarDVD executive assistant Cristina Soltero of the process.

"What about walking around money?" I asked. "If they are going to fly in, stay at Playboy's studios in Glendale all day long and then fly back the next morning ..."

"We pick them up and drop them off in a limo," she added.

"Does Playboy give the girls a contract afterward?" I asked.

"That's up to Playboy's discretion," she replied.

If I were a stripper in Bogue Chitto and I thought I could up my tips by having the DJ announce that I'd been on Playboy's "Nightcalls", I'd definitely send three frontally nude pictures in—even if the only places to spend money within walking distance of Playboy's studio are a McDonald's, a cemetery, and a Denny's.

SugarDVD and Playboy will pick another co-host for the night in time for Friday's show, and every two weeks thereafter. Check the promo site for details. Assuming you have the requisite boobies, it could happen to you!

· Night Calls Casting Call Submission (sugardvd.com)
· Playboy TV (playboy.com)

· See also: "Suddenly suplexing Seka" (gramponante.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

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