. . .

· Fat Beach Patrol 4 (PornoTube)
· Fat Beach Patrol # 4 DVD (cduniverse.com)

Previously: Fleshbot PSI: Find This Shark!

I don't think it's her. not because the woman in the tape actually has rhythm [Ed. - Zing!] ... but because it doesn't really look like her at all. Also she's a big pop star, do you really think that she'd get it on in what looks to be a dorm room?

Fair enough. But the lady in question does have black hair, big tits, and it would explain the "acute anxiety" that caused the cancellation of her tour—which come to think of it are also the exact same excuses we would have used to verify the Britney Spears tape that never was. On second thought, maybe we just have the wrong pop star.

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— White Stripes Drummer Sex Tape? (PornoTube)
· "Meg White's So-Called Sex Tape Gives Hacky Bloggers Yet Another Reason To Use The Phrase 'Icky Thump'" (Idolator; see also commentary @ Brooklyn Vegan, Stereogum, and Oh No They Didn't!)

Update(s) A reader notes the resemblance between whoever's in this video and porn starlet Natasha Nice ... and another helpfully reminds everyone that the clip has been floating around the interweb for at least two weeks now as just another random amateur porn video, as posted on Post Your Girls (scroll down to September 12) and here. Moral: labelling a random amateur porn clip with the name of a celebrity does not a real celebrity sex video make, kids!

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Previously: You'll Be Shocked To Learn Who's In This Sex Tape (Assuming You've Heard Of Her, That Is), VH1's "Rock Of Love" Porn Star?, BREAKING: Britney Spears Sex Tape, Maybe

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· "Amish Mennonite Emily Hardcore Creampie Fuck!" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Mennonite Mayhem: Hardcore Amish Amateur Porn, Flesh Flicks Archives

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· Bathroom (Shufuni)

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· Laundry Room (Shufuni)

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· Living Room (Shufuni)

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· Elevator (Shufuni)

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· Parking Garage (Shufuni)

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· Wood Shop (PornoTube)

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· Office (Shufuni)

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· Another Office (PornoTube)

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· Office Kitchen (Haporn)

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· Back Alley (Shufuni)

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· strippers backstage ... OR cheerleaders after practice? You decide. (Shufuni + Haporn)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

· Mannequin Ride (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

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· Kinky Kitchen Sex (Shufuni)

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· Kitchen Sex Caught (PornoTube)

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· 2 chicks 1 dude (Haporn)

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· Japan Kitchen Cumshot (Shufuni)

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· brunette (Haporn)

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· Amateur Girl Masturbating In The Kitchen (Shufuni)

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· BabySitter Fucked in the kitchen (Haporn)

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· Kitchen Blowjob (Shufuni)

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· kitchen fun 2 (Haporn)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

It's pretty rare these days for porno films to get custom made music or—perish the thought—a title track written specifically for the movie ... with lyrics even! But Brian Pumper is a rare individual who writes, performs, directs, and apparently raps his way through dangerous situations and he wouldn't be doing it if the threat he seeks to warn us about was not a grave one. "Earthquake Booty" represents a serious challenge to our nation's infrastructure and if it isn't brought under control soon, these bubbly behinds will reduce our cities to rubble. Not even George Kennedy can save us from this Big One, so our only hope it that when it does happen, that we aren't caught with our pants down. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)

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· Earthquake Booty (preview + download info @ PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As they are wont to do, our pals at Pornzio got us thinking about something a little unusual today. Namely, milk. Not milkshakes, or tit milk or even milking the old nozzle. We're talking about the 2% variety, poured right into a lady's business and pumped out the hard way—via a nice hard fisting. The geyser-like reaction is not unlike the old Diet Coke/Mentos experiment, only much, much tastier. In other words, don't try this at home even if you're literally having an affair with the milkman. Even if it does do a body good.

· Woman gets milk poured into pussy and then fisted (PornoTube)

· Got Milk? (PornoTube)
· Milk Fisting Porn (pornzio.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks: The Way of the Fist, Mondo Porn: The Wacky Side Of Smut, Cowgirls Espresso: Coffee, Tea, or T&A?, DVD Review: "Dirt Pipe Milkshakes 2", Titmilker

No offense to the fun-loving woman in this homemade clip, but we find it hard to believe that she is young enough to be truly worried about being caught in the act by her parents. Once you've reached MILF status yourself, there really shouldn't be any reason for you to be doing it on your folks' bed. Perhaps we didn't understand her clearly, and she's actually worried that it will be her kids that stumble in on this daytime fucking session, which would be a bit awkward. No one really wants think of their own mom in that ILF category, let know discovering that she's a minor internet star. The solution, as always, is to keep your bedroom door well locked.

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· "Mom" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Instead of going to the beach (too sandy) or a boring ol' BBQ (too saucy) this weekend, why not take a different trip—back in time to the 1970s, that magical era of natural boobs and unshaved privates, when porn came out of the closet and on to your bulky and expensive Betamax. That 70's Porn is a blog devoted to this golden age of adult cinema when the first true pornstars were born and "reality" was not a genre, but something to be avoided at all cost. All the legends can be found here, including some you probably never heard of or thought you'd see again. Since the industry hasn't always done the best job of preserving its history, it's quite a feat to track down all this material ... and amazingly corny clips like the one you'll find after the jump. If this reminds you a little too much of your own first time, don't worry: losing your virginity in real life was probably even more awkward.

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· Vintage Porn - Teenage Fantasies (PornoTube)
· That 70's Porn - Classic Porn from the Golden Age (70sporn.thumblogger.com)

Previously: Debbie Did Dallas: The Search For Bambi Woods, Video Playpen: Classic Pornstar Tribute, Journey Without Clothes: Kay Parker on "Taboo", Klaus Harmony: "The Mozart of Porn", Papa's Retro Porn Movies, Vintage Porn Magazines @ Yurmag

Keeping with the whole Mommy's Day theme, it seemed like a good time to revisit an old friend: The Milf Hunter. His name is what he does of course, and he's been at it long time ... maybe too long? We don't want to tell the guy how to his job, but it does appear that he occasionally chooses to slum it down in the lower age brackets, taking down big game that looks like they're still playing in their own soccer games, not hauling little ones around to theirs in a minivan. Or maybe moms are just getting hotter all the time? Can we see some 2257 documentation for the over-40 set?

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· Milf Hunter - Ryan Conner (XXXUploads)
· Milf Hunter (milfhunter.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Why do good athletes always get to have sex with the cheerleader? It's not enough that they're good athletes with adoring fans, they have to get all the chicks too? It's hard going through life as a clumsy, uncoordinated chump, but it would be nice if the bench warmers occasionally got a chance to feel good about themselves—and got a chance to score. Or at least stuff them in a locker that has a view of the head cheerleader banging the star of the basketball team. They aren't getting any playing time, so give them at least one reason to come to practice.

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· Hot cheerleader fucked on lockerroom (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

This post is a public service announcement from Fleshbot: Guys, if you're lucky enough to find yourself invited to a drunken frat house orgy, don't be That Guy. You know who we're talking about. The guy who's always hooting and hollering at the sight of girl boobies—or in this case, the guy who gets in the way of the shot and stares in amazement as though he's never seen a real life vagina before and keeps sticking his face in the camera to give a wide-eyed thumbs up to the audience. (It's called "breaking the fourth wall", and it totally spoils the fantasy for everyone who's watching. Don't do it.) We suppose every drunken frat house orgy has to have one, but just because you are a drunken over-the-hill frat boy doesn't mean you have to be him. That is all. We now return you to your regular orgy programming.

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· Drunken Orgy (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Speaking of domination accessories today, we thought you might like to see a little bit of some of them in action. It's the professional porn version of domination, not the home recreation type, but ordering people around can be a lot of fun no matter where you are: blindfolding has its place when it comes to sex play, and so does a little rope bondage. The cock and ball torture? Well, that's for serious-minded BDSM enthiusiasts only and definitely not for the faint of heart (or tender of crotch). Real pain is the advanced class—but if you think you're ready for it, bite down on something hard and give it a whirl. (Or good, strong tug, as the case may be.)

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· DragonLily gives blowjob in bondage (PornoTube)

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· cock and ball punishment (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

What is going on with our nation's toy chests? Yesterday, it was BDSM enthusiast teddy bears and today we encounter strap-on wielding mini-robots. What's a girl to do when even her playful bedroom friends want a piece? We'd register some sort of complaint about the loss of our wild-eyed innocence, but let's face it ... our innocence went out the window a long time ago. Also, are we crazy or does this little guy sound a bit like an undersized Nick Manning? Now that's a chilling scenario.

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· Robots Need Love Too (PornoTube)
· Wow Wee's Robosapien (wowwee.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks: Bondage, Teddy Bear Style, Flesh Flicks Archives

We can't be sure of the exact circumstances of each case involving sexual relationships between teachers and students that we seem to encounter every time we check the news these days, but maybe some of them start exactly like this one. A few muscleheaded jocks get held back for 10-12 years, a hot teacher keeps them after school for a round table discussion of that day's reading material, and the next thing you know ... gangbang! It's true that group learning has its advantages, but if this is what that No (30-Something) Student Left Behind thing is all about, we should have a talk with our school board.

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· Sex With a Teacher (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Fumbling around in the back seat of your parents' Oldsmobile is a time-honored tradition that all car-loving Americans hold dear. So it's no surprise that when those horny teenagers grow up and can afford their own vehicles, they're going to get busy in them. And probably film it too. As usual, this collection doesn't even scratch the surface of car-related porn (and doesn't even include your classic gear shift insertions), but it should get you started off down the freeway of love. Just remember to always set your parking break and check your blinds spots. The last thing you want is to get rear-ended. (Accidentally, that is.)

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· Car Fuck (Haporn)

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· Cum-Roof (Car Roof Job I - Trailer) (PornoTube)

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· Cum-Roof (Car Roof Job II) (PornoTube)

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· bangbus Kate (Haporn)

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· Orgasm in Car (PornoTube)

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· Car accident victim fucked (Haporn)

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· Trunking (PornoTube)

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· caravane (PornoTube)

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· car fucking (PornoTube)

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· Washing the windshield with her boobs (Haporn)

· Thumbnail image via funpic.hu

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

As usual, we're not entirely sure how the title of this video applies to the content. We can't tell who the teacher is or if one or both of these girls are the pets, and once they break out the strap-ons and double dildos, it's definitely not clear who is schooling who. Perhaps it's a metaphor for how we all have something to learn about life and love, and maybe in the grand scheme of things we're all the "teacher's pet"? That must be it. We still don't know what the ass-to-ass portion symbolizes, but once we find out you'll be the first to know.

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· Teacher's Pets Mindy Michelle w/ Celeste Mulet (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

When you see a preview gallery on a lesbian porn site or two chicks getting friendly in our Best of Babelogs Archive, it usually really does look like they're lost in their own world of moist Sapphic rapture—but things are actually much more difficult than they appear. You think it's easy to hold still for minutes at a time with one leg high in the air and another girl's tongue on your pussy ring? As evidenced by these clips of the sublime Tall Goddess and helpmeet Eva during a shoot for master erotic photographer Earl Miller, these ladies are all business—and even if their business happens to be having sex with other hot ladies (grueling work, we know), respect should be paid. And even if sometimes it's more fun not to know how the ... er, sausage is made.

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· Tall Goddess and Eva. Lesbian box munch (PornoTube)

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· Tall Goddess and Eva.Lesbian box munch2 (PornoTube)

See also:
· Earl Miller (paysite preview @ earlmiller.com)
· Tall Goddess (tallgoddess.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We've been told by people who know such things that blog readers love lists: they're simple, quick to read, and generate discussion. In fact, we know more than a few websites that rely on them pretty much exclusively—Top 10 this, Worst 8 that. So in that spirit we're presenting you with our latest Video Playpen roundup of the Top Ten Blowjob Videos We've Seen This Week. See, we're hedging our bets a little bit, because frankly there are a lot of blowjobs out there on the internet—and try as we might, there's no way to see them all. So we're not confident enough to proclaim these the ten best blowjobs ever. They aren't all new, they aren't all complete, and they certainly aren't definitive. But you know the old joke where the guy is asked to describe the worst blowjob he ever had in his life? (The answer: "Awesome!") It's a list ... it's blowjobs ... you really can't lose.

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· Jeanna Fine in Dr. Fellatio (XXX Uploads)

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· Red head twins (aka Pason and Danni Woodward) (Haporn)

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· Great Facial! (PornoTube)

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· great head (XXX Uploads)

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· Awesome amateur deepthroat and swallow (Haporn)

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· Eve Laurence (XXX Uploads)

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· blowjob gangbang (XXX Uploads)

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· Black-Haired Facial!! (XXX Uploads)

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· Cum Sneeze (XXX Uploads)

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· The Hippie Facial (XXX Uploads)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archives, Flesh Flicks Archives

All the usual online video sharing outlets seem to be a bit temperamental this week, but hopefully that won't prevent you from viewing this latest entry in our ever-expanding Flesh Flicks catalog. If only web servers and IT backbones could be cured as easily as the "patient" in this clip. Of course, we always seem to get stuck with the grumpy nurse with cold hands and no sense of humor so this particular treatment has never been offered to us during our yearly physical—and it's not like our blogger HMO would cover it anyway. We guess there's a reason why the slutty Asian nurse fantasy will sadly forever remain a fantasy.

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· Patient Fucks His Hot Nurse (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

While we're on the subject of balloon-related smut today, we hope you balloonatics out there haven't been going through withdrawal because it's been a while since we featured any inflatable porn around here. Hopefully this video will make up for lost time as it's a montage of a bunch of different chicks humping balloons, stomping on them, blowing them up, and watching them burst before their amazed eyes. The music may not seem appropriate at first, but just imagine you're in the coolest, adults-only Chuck E. Cheese on the planet and it's your own personal birthday balloon rave. If you have an air hockey table in your computer room, that's even better!

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· Balloons-Techno Style (PornoTube - thanks Richard)

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Previously: Balloon Directory, Flesh Flicks: Balloon Bursting, Mellyloon, Norbert Briar's Balloon Party, Loonerz: Balloon Fetish Gals, Flesh Flicks Archives

How about we take a spin in the wayback machine and journey through the ages to revisit the magical era of the mid-to-late 1990s for today's Flesh Flicks video spotlight? What a time it was! For you whippersnappers out there, those were the glory days of then-Vivid Girls Kobe Tai and Heather Hunter; ask your dad (or maybe an older sister) and s/he can probably tell you tales about these two and all the wacky adventures they used to get into, one of which you'll see in this riverside picnic romp. We know this may seem primitive by modern porn standards, but this was the way things used to be before your fancy "hi-definition" and "video on demand" smut came along. You kids today just don't appreciate what your forefathers and foremothers went through just so that you they could inherit some decent filth. Now get off our lawn!

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· Kobe Tai & Heather Hunter (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

If our carefully measured one-a-day dosage of sexy video clips just isn't enough for you, we're sorry; we've purposely hold ourselves back so that you don't become chemically dependent on embedded smut. The people at Slut Addict, however, have no such qualms and are perfectly willing to be your enabler as you gorge yourself on porn. Like a TGP gallery for videos, they pull in clips from sites like PornoTube, YouTube, Dailymotion and elsewhere, collect them all on the front page, and then pump them directly into your veins. They even allow you to break the clips down into blowjob, lesbian or straight sex, so that you get just the fix you need. Think of it as Flesh Flicks on steroids, but without the pithy commentary and insightful analysis (which is totally why you read those posts, right?)—or maybe like a "Clockwork Orange" minus the eye restraints. If you think you can handle it go right ahead, but when you become a slobbering, strung-out video junkie don't expect us to host your intervention.

· Slut Addict (slutaddict.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Emergency Porn, Fantasti.cc Videos: Community Rated Smut, ScripTube: Build Your Own YouTube Clone, Eroshare, Splutr: More Social Porn

Of all the joys that DVD has brought into our lives, few rival the fantasy-becomes-reality goodness of the Virtual Sex genre of porn: all those years of imagining what it would be like to fuck an actual pornstar and suddenly it was like you were actually there, complete with multiple angles and positions. (OK, and with someone else's dick—but isn't that a slight inconvenience to pay for the experience of banging Tera Patrick in some sort of dark and barren zero-gravity antechamber?) The technology hasn't advanced quite as far as we would have liked by now, but after the jump you can be in the moment again with a collection of virtual clips featuring your favorite adult superstars—including a bonus video of Clara Morgane auditioning for what appears to be a porno version of Star Wars. Best of all, thanks to the miracle of embedded video, you can press play on all of the clips at once and it will be like you're in the middle of your own personal all-star orgy! Isn't virtual reality fun?

Above: Jenna Jameson (PornoTube; more after the jump)

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· Tera Patrick (PornoTube)

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· Kobe Tai (PornoTube)

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· Jesse Jane (PornoTube)

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· Devon (xxxuploads.com)

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· Nikita Denise (Haporn)

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· Mercedez (xxxuploads.com)

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· Clara Morgane (PornoTube)

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Previously: DVD Review: "Virtual Sex with Mercedez", Flesh Flicks: Virtual Tera, "VirtuallyJenna" Sex Simulator, Virtual Sex with Kyoko Ayana, YouTube Watch Archives, Flesh Flicks Archives, Video Playpen Archives

We passed on all the President's Day furniture sales yesterday, but that's because we're saving our money for this elaborate sex swing set up. As you can see by the frantic thrashing of our well-restrained lady, this harness is strong enough to support your most vigorous airborne activities. At least that's what we hope this model is demonstrating, and not a frantic need to escape and/or use the bathroom. We'll give the manufacturers the benefit of the doubt, even if we're not sure why her crotch appears to literally be on fire at one point. If there's one thing we've learned around here, it's not to ask too many questions.

· "Bonkum" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

This post-Valentine's Day hangover has us feeling a little nostalgic for the days of the early part of the 21st century, when "mainstream celebrity" Jenna Jameson was not above having sex in a bathroom. She's gone on to other ventures since these clips were made, but sometimes old stories are worth retelling. That's how they become old stories in the first place. How you go from being face down on a toilet seat to having your life's tale (not) told by Scarlett Johansson is another story altogether.

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"Jenna and Jill part1"

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"Jenna and Jill part 2" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As we all know by now, some sexual activities are a little more complicated than others. Anal fisting, for example, isn't something for beginners, requiring as it does a little extra concentration and dexterity (and a whole lot more lube) to pull off correctly. So imagine being on the giving and receiving end of this maneuver at the same time. It's hard to even think about, let alone attempt with the aplomb you'll see in this video, but let's not forget that Kylie Ireland and Bridgette Kerkove are professionals with years of experience at this sort of thing. So don't expect to be able to copy their moves exactly on the first try—practicing at the introductory level before moving on to the more advanced stuff is definitely recommended.

· "Kylie Ireland & Bridgette Kerkove anally fist each other" (PornoTube)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Speaking of footballer's wives, we're surprised to see that Linsey Dawn McKenzie didn't make the Nuts Top 100 spread. According to Wikipedia (which we had to consult to figure out who the heck she was), Linsey has had several high profile trysts with noted British soccer stars, and is currently married to a player from Northern Ireland. We guess Nuts draws line at actresses whose top film credits include titles such as "Lezzie Seduction" and "Maximum Insertion." That probably makes her less classy in their eyes than say, Victoria Beckham, but we bet that even this awkwardly edited clip of Linsey playing with her massive boobs would get better reviews than "Spice World" did.

· Linsey Dawn McKenzie (PornoTube.com)
· Linsey Dawn McKenzie (official site @ linseydawnmckenzie.co.uk)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

According to ads that we see plastered all over the subway recently, there's some reality show on TV right now about some pastry chef who claims to be "the bad boy of baking." We've never seen the show, but unless that guy is making strudel on the chest of some big breasted babe as he bangs her in his kitchen we already know he must be total poser—because really, it doesn't get much more badass than cracking an egg on some girl's head while she begs for more. Is this where that phrase about "having your cake and fucking eating it too" comes from?

· Baker Gets Buck-Nasty (PornTube)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

· A Tail Of Two Pornos (PornoTube - thanks B.)

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

You cannot (officially) show any titty at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas' Sands Expo Center. You can, however, get two porn babes to pose for some remarkably stilted, fullt panty'd simulated cunnilingus action.

· Fleshbot's 2007 AVN Expo Coverage

We've all been there, perched high upon a rocky cliff overlooking the beautiful seashore and making love to that special someone ... when all of the sudden a platoon of Israeli soldiers wanders by and spoils the moment with their hooting and hollering. This shy young couple does their best to ignore this disturbance of their peace, but it's getting to the point where you can't even have sex outside anymore without some random army ruining all your fun. Why can't some people just mind their own business.

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· Sex at the Sea Cliff (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Those of you who kept up with VH1's "Flavor of Love" last season (it's OK to admit it; we did too) will remember the ever-toasted Toastee, who was called out by her fellow contestants for her shocking (!) porn past. Not quite as shocking is the fact that a not-so-private sex tape of Jennifer "Toastee" Toof is now available for sale on the interweb. It hasn't popped up on the usual video sharing sites yet, but you can see a quick preview featuring some nude splits and inappropriate head-bobbing. After the jump, however, we do have a clip of the young lady's other breathtaking talents on a (we hope) willing victim. We guess Flav isn't into the whole rib-breaking, leg torture fetish scene; otherwise, Toastee might have stuck around a lot longer.

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· "Toastee From Flavor Of Love" (PornoTube)
· "Flavor of Love's Toastee Exposed!" (preview @ femalestars.com)
· VH1.com : Shows : Flavor of Love 2 (vh1.com)

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Previously: Jelena Veljaca Sex Tape?, Morning Wood: Ghosts of Sex Tapes, Past and Future, More Blasts from the Past: Remembering the Rob Lowe Sex Tape, DVD Review: "Screeched", The Britney Spears Sex Tape: Don't Hold Your Breath, Jordan Capri Honeymoon Sex Tape, Flesh Flicks: The Return of Severina, Daniela On The Beach, Vince and Janine: A Look Back, Carolyn Murphy Sex Tape, Finally

Say whatever you want about a girl who would gladly subject herself to a 65-guy creampie—go ahead and say it, we'll wait—but all we can think of is, that's a lot of, uh, ... creampie. This helpful PornoTube clip only includes a handful of the aforementioned guys (and even less of the actual cream), but it does give you some sense of the physical demands required of such a feat. Don't ever let anyone tell you that pornstars like Arianna Jolee have an easy job. Heck, after what she went through, this one should probably be given a medal.

· "65 Guy Creampie" (pornotube.com)
· Arianna Jolee in "65 Guy Creampie" (Devil's FIlms) (65guycreampie.net)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

And while we're on the topic of porn sharing today, do you really need another video sharing site to keep track of these days as well? Of course not, but a little competition never hurt anybody and even though the new kid on the block, Shufuni, is still in "beta" (aren't we all?) it looks promising. The "sharing" part is a little misleading, since unlike PornoTube, xTube and others you can't embed the videos in your site,. But the quality is decent enough, and there are lesser restrictions on movie length. Time will tell if the site holds up under the pressure—or the crushing weight of bandwidth fees as it grows bigger—but for now there's a nice collection of hardcore porno clips to amuse yourself with. The more the merrier, we always say.  

· Shufuni (shufuni.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: Welcome to Haporn, Watchme.com, YouPorn Beta, YuVuTu: Adult Amateur Videos, XTube, PornoTube

Incorporating food into your sexual routine is always a popular way to spice things up, but some people just take the whole idea a little too far. In fact, SploshMe.com's practice of covering hot babes in pies, cakes, sauces and other deliciously messy confections takes it to a level that's almost absurd—if not downright dangerous if you take the whole yeast infection thing into account, to say nothing about the fact that you'd probably go into a diabetic coma if you tried to lick that much chocolate syrup off a woman's body in one sitting. At the very least all that Jell-O and whipped cream is going to give you a nasty stomachache—all we did was watch these previews and we're already loosening our belts. So we reiterate: don't try this at home. Unless you're really, really hungry.

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· Wet and messy compilation video (PornoTube)

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· Curly Sativa gets a cold clit (Pornotube)
· SploshMe (sploshme.com)

· See also: MSTRKRFT: "Easy Love" (Fleshbot)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

It's a good thing that Japanese censors are so careful to pixelate those small bits of naughtiness from our innocent eyes. Otherwise, we might know exactly what's at the end of that Magic Wand or what it's doing to that young woman in this video. She seems pretty satisfied when it's all said and done, but we guess we'll never know what did it because all that blurring has us totally flummoxed. It's a real mystery, all right, but thankfully our morals are safe and sound and uncorrupted.

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· "2006.12.18 Setsuna" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The porn industry has always shown a lot of respect to its forefathers, but they haven't always done such a great job at preserving their memories. Aside from a few old standards, most of the hardcore movies of the '70s and '80s are hard to find these days—if copies even exist at all. These vintage trailers found on PornoTube make us wish there was an easier way to track down the adult films of the past, but they also make us long for the days when no one shaved anything and fake boobs were more like science fiction than standard accessories. Sadly, those who forget history are doomed to watch it in smaller, lower resolution pieces.

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· Centerfold Fever (PornoTube)

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· Candy Goes to Hollywood (PornoTube)

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· Bon Appetit  (PornoTube)

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· Take Off (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives