Although we received several qualified applications for the guest editor gig we posted about two weeks ago, only one was able to fill in on such short notice when we decided to check into rehab take a last minute vacation this weekend—which is why you'll be seeing our Drunken Stepfather Jesus Martinez's byline around here over the next few days. Try not to get to offended by his language or "jokes" about various celebrities' weight problems, OK? Not everyone in our family grew up with the same socioeconomic advantages that we did.

Drunken Stepfather (drunkenstepfather.com)