· After seeing the cover of next month's Maxim, the world is now on pins and needles wondering what else Jessica Simpson will "reveal" inside. If necessary, you should literally sit on your hands while you wait. (wwtdd.com)

· We prefer to leave the complicated political stuff to our little siblings at Wonkette, even when that coverage includes interviews with former porn stars who are running for governor of Nevada. Melody Damayo's campaign is no joke, however: she knows her stuff, and after seeing the candidate's "platform" on Tucker Carlson we're even more eager pull the lever for her. (Wonkette)

· New York cops nab a Brazilian woman who allegedly made over $1.5 million running a call girl ring out of her apartment, using ladies she found in her home country. Why do we always find out about these things after they get shut down? (nydailynews.com)

· In other hooking news, some Air New Zealand workers traded their employee travel discounts to prostitutes in exchange for sexual favors. Unfortunately, when they tried to cash in those favors all their dates were blacked out. (nzherald.co.nz)

· Speaking of vacations, it's good to see Victoria Silvstedt getting some much needed r&r during a recent tropical getaway. Next time she needs to kick back, we'll be happy to make sure she has a place to sit. (taxidrivermovie.com)

· Scientists say that women's brains react faster to erotic images than to any other kind, which infers that their brains are, like, slutty. Or something like that. (livescience.com)

· Hundreds of Oregon taxpayers may have had their personal data compromised after a state employee downloaded a computer virus</> while (you guessed it!) looking for porn. Hate to say we told you so, but ... well, we told you so. (katu.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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