Michelle Marsh
Michelle Marsh
Michelle Marsh
Michelle Marsh

This photo spread of the hundred sexiest footballers' wives should provide us with ample data to, ahem, analyze. Now if you'll please pardon us, we have some urgent business to attend to in our lab.

· Nuts Magazine's 100 Sexiest Football Wives Of 2009 (dailypoa.com)

Now who wants to lend us their yacht?

And who wants to give us Lucy Pinder's number?

&midot; Babe boat (celebpunani.com)

· Michelle Marsh Topless In Loaded- Sept. ‘08 (dailypoa.com)

· Michelle Marsh will have to get back to you soon, because she has quite a lot on her hands right now. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· LAist was not impressed by Erotica LA. What was the problem? Too many pornstars or not enough shoulder stink? (laist.com)

· What's the weirdest part of this story? That male and female inmates are housed side-by-side, that they were able cut a hole in their cell walls so they could "join" each other, or that prisoners apparently have unlimited access to pancake batter? That last bit doesn't make it as kinky as it should be, either. (newsday.com)

· We don't care what you're selling, there's no such thing as a gratuitous bikini model. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

· Carrie Underwood and Kevin Eubanks are the world's sexiest vegetarians, but we still don't understand how could anyone turn down a piece of hot beef. (chron.com)

· Internet speeds in the US lag far behind other industrialized nations. It's hard to sleep at night knowing our porn should be arriving faster than it is. (xbiz.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Buxom birds Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh have posed together in magazines more times than we care to count (not that doing the math wouldn't be fun) so it's harder and harder for the folks at your favorite lad mags to come up with a new excuse to pair them together. Nuts found a pretty good one though—after scoring Lucy's first topless pics just a few weeks ago, they're now pitching her first ever topless pics with Michelle. No more creative posing or finding reasons for "The Marsh" to "accidentally" be in the way of her friend's nipples. Of course, now that this particular cat is out of the bag, how can they possibly up the ante any further to create a new "exclusive"? Lucy and Michelle's first ever topless pics in space? We're sure those mad geniuses can find some way to make that happen.

· Lucy and Michelle together and topless (sexypix.thumblogger.com)
· See also: Rhian Sugden gets wet for Nuts (dailypoa.com)

Previously: This Week In Lad Mags Archive

· A filly may have won the big horse race this weekend, but Michelle Marsh would prefer to be the one doing the riding. Is she hiring stable boys? (dailypoa.com)

· The Australian Government issued a warning to Penthouse for publishing photos that "emphasized genitals," to which Penthouse replied, "Umm ... duh?" (xbiz.com)

· The New York State Bar Association was all excited to have a "sexual empowerment consultant" speak at their divorce lawyer meeting, until they found out she was ex-pornstar Sydnee Steele. What exactly did they think a "sexual empowerment consultant" does? (wsj.com)

· A few museum patrons were quite upset to learn that Marilyn Monroe once posed for naked photos. Wait until they hear about what happened to President Kennedy. (wkyc.com + daytondailynews.com)

· Brooklyn, Missouri, is the little town that could—thanks to four strip clubs, a massage parlor and an adult bookstore that keep the place alive. It's just like the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," isn't it? (stltoday.com)

· What if they gave out adult awards and none of the winners came to pick them up? Can they still put them on their mantle? (adultfyi.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Newspapers and websites appeal to the lowest common denominator and use cheap, tawdry tactics to grab attention. In other news, look at these tits! (brisbanetimes.com.au)

· No, really: look at these tits. Though the asses ain't bad either. (Michelle Marsh and Lindsey Anne Strutt @ dailyniner.com)

· An elementary school discovers the hard way that their educational videos were recorded over someone's used porn tapes. That's just good recycling. (wsls.com)

· Since the weather is finally pleasant around here, how about some nude gardening? Your thumb won't be the only thing that's green ... wink, wink. (earthtimes.org)

· A New York man is suing the makers of a health drink because he says it gave him a permanent erection. To be fair, it was called Boost Plus. (news.com.au)

· Letter to the Editor of the Day: "Our culture is on the skids!" You say that like it's a bad thing. (mainetoday.com)

· Remember the "Rad Girls"? Well, they may think subway pole dancing is a great "prank," but it's a lot tamer than what we saw on our commute this morning. Don't worry, they still managed to work farting in there. (maximonline.com)

* * * * *
Thumbnail boobies courtesy Ashley Robbins (bustycafe.net)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Congratulations, fellow countrymen: "Americans are the greatest downloaders of porn." U.S.A.! U.S.A.! (news.com.au)

· It's okay though, because music websites are a much greater security risk to your computer than porn websites, mostly due to the increased chance you'll accidentally download the new Linkin Park album. (earthtimes.org)

· Michelle Marsh is doing whatever it is Michelle Marsh does, which naturally involves some kind of bikini. It's what some people like to call a comfort zone. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· What's the best way to let British Prime Minister Tony Blair know what you think of his foreign policy? Why, a nude drawing of him and his wife, of course. It's better than writing a letter. (upi.com)

· Prostitutes in Vancouver need safer places to live and work. Have they tried Seattle? (cbc.ca)

· It could be worse—they could be in South Africa where workers there say they are too tired to even have sex. On a completely unrelated note, are bloggers allowed to go on strike? (reuters.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· We had a dream last night that we went to the beach and Lucy Pinder, Sophie Howard and Michelle Marsh were all just hanging out in their bikinis. Too bad that could never happen in real life. (latenightpictures.com)

· Finally, the weather is warm enough that college students can hold their weekly sweatshop protests in the nude. No, we don't miss college at all. Why do you ask? (kcbs.com)

· Want to learn more about cougars, the MILF's sexy single sister? Too bad reading about them in a local newspaper kinda lowers the naughtiness factor. (fortwayne.com)

· If Seattle allows nude runs and nude bike rides, they should make provisions for nude swims at the public pool as well. How else are you supposed to train for your nude triathlon? (komotv.com)

· Once that's taken care of Seattle will finally be able to focus on the greatest threat to the city's welfare: freak dancing at high school proms. (No, we don't miss high school either.) (seattleweekly.com)

· Microsoft is working on technology that can identify your name, age, gender and location just by looking at your web browsing history—which doesn't really worry us too much since ours is already beyond all hope of redemption anyway, (newscientisttech.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Did you know that in Britain, you can bet on the outcome of beauty pageants? (You can place a bet on almost anything over there from we understand, but betting on babe parades seems like a particularly bad investment strategy.) This does have the benefit of allowing one to quantify just how big an upset it was for someone like Rachael Tennant to be named Miss Great Britain yesterday. At 25-1, the beauty from Aberdeen, Scotland, came out of nowhere to beat a host of Gemmas, Claires and other Rachaels (seriously, were these names given out by court order 20 years ago?) and even a pair of Page 3 veterans to claim the crown. The next question of course is what scandal will threaten to destory her career make her even more famous? It will be tough to top 2006 champion Danielle Lloyd's judge-humping adventure, but in a land where topless models like Michelle Marsh are the favorites to represent your country to the world, perhaps they're relaxing the standards for "moral certitude" a bit. We only hope that Miss USA and Miss America learn a thing or two about propriety from these birds.

· Meet Miss Great Britain (sky.com)
· Finalist Photos: here, here, + here (hollywoodtuna.com + latenightpictures.com + eleven.aol.co.uk)
· Miss Great Britain (official site @ miss-gb.co.uk)

Previously: (Former) Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd in Playboy, Michelle Marsh Will Not Be Ignored, Miss Australia "Nude" Scandal, Celebrity Cameltoe Watch™: Rachel Smith, Miss USA 2007, 100 Hot Footballer's Wives, Girl Management

You might get the impression from reading Fleshbot regularly that the only things we care about are breasts, tits, boobs, jubblies, and funbags, when in actuality we're a lot more well-rounded than that: we're also interested in ass, booty, butts, tushies, and apple bottoms. Fortunately, the always perspicacious pervs at Zoo Magazine share our all-encompassing world view and follow up their 100 Sexiest Bodies and 100 Hottest Topless Pics roundups with a look at the world's—or at least the UK's—50 Sexiest Bums for 2007 (which we guess is equivalent to the 100 Best Ass Cheeks, so it's not like they're getting cheap on us or anything). While we appreciate their commitment to keeping track of these sorts of things, however, we have to say that their selection skews a bit too (bottom-)heavy towards the usual British glamour model suspects like Gemma Atkinson and Keeley Hazell and Michelle Marsh, which is to say that the list is pretty much overwhelmingly white and, you know, British. Surely there are plenty of other astounding asses out there who deserve our collective leers as well (hello, Keyra); let's hear about some of your favorites in the comments. Who knows? Maybe we'll be able to convince them to publish a supplement before the years is up.

· Zoo Magazine's Top 50 Best Bums (ko5.blogspot.com)

Previously: SexyBubble Vs. Bri: Battle Of The Booty, In Search Of Ele: The New Mystery Booty?, Azz Valley Dispatch: "Tappin' Dat Phat Taco", Site De Cul, Ass Aficionado, Thongs, Thongs, Thongs!, Bundablog, Grand Fessier: French Amateur Asses, Pendejastop, Booty Shake Blog, Mark's Butt Page, 100 Sexiest Bodies

As you're well aware if you've been paying attention around these parts since ... well, forever, the market is competitive for big-breasted models in Britain these days, and if you want to find work you've got to know how to grab some attention. Dating a famous football player helps, as does a giant lower back tattoo that you aren't afraid to show off. When giving interviews it helps if you swear a lot and allow yourself to be quoted out of context in a way that subtly implies lesbian tendencies. Most of all, it's important to have an incredible rack. Fortunately for Michelle Marsh, she's got all the bases covered—as she amply demonstrates in the May issue of Maxim UK. She already gets plenty of attention in her home country, but perhaps this latest appearance will help spread the word far and wide. After all, there's more than enough of her to go around.

· Michelle Marsh - Maxim UK - May 2007 (dailyniner.com)

Previously: Catching Up With Emily Scott: "Australia's Sexiest Woman", Britain's Best Boobs: Move Over, Keeley!, 100 Hot Footballer's Wives, Sophie Howard Makes Her Move, Maxim UK's Girls of 2007, Vote For Lucy Pinder!, Michelle Marsh Does Maxim