To be fair, the vibration isn't exactly bad—in fact, it felt pretty good (as vibration is wont to). With three vibration intensities and six pulse patterns, there are many different ways to vibrate your g-spot "beyond," if you will. However, the navigation on this toy is so poor that you may find yourself giving up in frustration before you ever reach that point of pleasure.

In a nod to simplicity, the Ophoria Beyond Vibe has just one, single button. Click it once to turn it on, then use it to shuffle through the various settings (should you wish to turn it off, just hold the button down for a few seconds). Of course, to get to your favorite setting could take a lot of clicking—and if, god forbid, you happen to accidentally click off that setting you happen to like...well, have a fun time clicking your way through the entire cycle to get back.

I wanted to like the vibration: I am, at heart, a vibrator girl (and a g-spot one at that), but with all the clicking, I just couldn't get into a groove. In fact, I found that I enjoyed the toy more once I turned off the vibration and just enjoyed it as a dildo.

Sometimes it's best to keep things simple.

· Buy the Ophoria Beyond G-Spot Vibrator (goodvibes.com)

It is, of course, the logical progression. If professional ethics, such as they are, don't allow us to go there ourselves, it is only natural to place a vibrator between Lakehurst's legs and control what it does.

The OhMiBod, as you probably know, responds to the beats in your iTunes playlist and gets all Diddy, GaGa, Bono, Ozzy, and/or Gordon Lightfoot with your labia.

The OhMiBod's Freestyle incarnation adds a wireless twist so I, for example, can control the playlist half a room away. With Lakehurst I felt like a Manhattan Project scientist across the desert from her A-Bomb.

"Strip down and get on the bed," we commanded (Lakehurst had been mixing fake come - her own science project).

We then streamed a medley of Air, The Scorpions, Curtis Mayfield, Judas Priest, and Pat Benatar up, down, and around her fleshy girlyparts, which was great fun for everyone involved. Around "2112" she lit a cigarette.

"I can really take this home?" she asked. What were we going to do? Take it back and sell it on eBay (Oh shit we could have totally sold it on eBay)?

But we didn't, and now Lakehurst is back in Wicker Park with her sleek Freestyle and all its attachments for use in foreign hotels with their Angelique Kidjo.

· Alix Lakehurst (wecouldbenaked.com)
· Buy OhMiBod's Freestyle (ohmibod.com)

It also, oddly, smells mildly kiwiesque, which I suppose is a bonus if you find that scent arousing. But I digress.

The Ki-Wi is a solid, egg-shaped vibe with a vibrating (and, for some reason, glowing) purple tip. Its operation is simple: press either one of the buttons to turn it on, then continue to click to explore all the different stimulation patterns. (For want of a better description, the upper button serves as "forward" button, the lower as a "back" button—click forward to launch into straight vibration followed by pulse patterns, back to launch into pulse patterns followed by vibration. And, of course, feel free to use a combination of the above to happily toggle your way through.)

In terms of stimulation, the Ki-Wi feels somewhat akin to the rabbit part of a Rabbit Pearl vibe, insomuch as the thin, delicate silicone nose offers a sensation similar to the ears of said rabbit. Of course, the Ki-Wi is a turbocharged version of said rabbit: with three vibration speeds, and seven pulse patterns, well...this Ki-Wi leaves that hare in the dust.

For the life of me, though, I cannot figure out why the tip of this thing glows purple whenever it vibrates (and, more to the point, why you can't disable that). Is there a fetish for glowing purple labia that I'm presently unaware of? Are women in need of a toy that, ahem, lights the way (so to speak)?

Please, if you have any idea, enlighten me. (And if you don't, still consider this toy: compact, sturdy, and totally cute, it definitely gets the thumbs up from me.)

· Buy the Ki-Wi (goodvibes.com)

The droplet necklace is a long, silver chain with two small silver cylinders (one on each end of the chain. But oh, they're not just there for decorate: each cylinder is a miniature vibrator—and a nipple clamp as well.

How does it work, you ask? Each cylinder is attached to the change by a loop of black string, which can be placed around a nipple and adjusted to tighten and clamp in. The vibrators are activated by a small twist of the base—and then, oo! Tiffany never felt this good.

Lovely as it is, the droplet necklace is not recommended for the serious BDSM enthusiast. I, personally, had trouble keeping the "clamps" clamped—with the slightest movement, the loops slipped right off of my breasts (and even when clamped, they didn't apply that much pressure). Though the vibrators did feel pretty good...both on and off my nipples.

If you're looking to treat someone special (like yourself!) this coming V-Day, the droplet necklace could be just what you're looking for. A pretty piece of jewelry with a naughty little kick...we know quite a few girls who could appreciate this piece.

· Buy the Incoqnito Droplet Necklace (babeland.com)

Let's get one thing out of the way right off the bat: the G-Ki is not a SaSi that's been modified to stimulate the inner bits. While the SaSi is a programmable toy with a unique mode of stimulation, the G-Ki is a much more traditional sort of sex toy, one that vibrates to get you off, and comes with a preset number of stimulation modes. Which is not to say that it isn't innovative—but we'll get to that in a second.

The G-Ki is a long, slender vibrator; one with a shape not unlike LELO's Ella. Along the handle are two silver buttons: press the + button for two seconds to turn the G-Ki on and browse through the vibration levels and pulse patterns, the - button reduces the vibration level and turns the toy off.

This is all pretty standard practice of course. And the G-Ki seems like a pretty standard vibrator—until, that is, you discover the buttons on its neck.

Along the side of the vibrator are two raised, bumpy buttons (one just above the controls, and one located up on the head of the toy). Press them down simultaneously, and you're now able to alter the curve of the toy, making it (almost) ramrod straight or doubled over like Gonzo's nose, whatever your preference. It seems simple, but as a woman who's spent many a frustrating night trying to get off with a toy that was just a wee bit too straight, I can tell you that this is a pretty awesome innovation.

Also cool: the G-Ki's charger doesn't plug in to the toy—it's got little magnets that attach to the toys buttons (at least that's what I assume is happening, I'm a little vague on this area).

Kind of annoying: try as I might, I just can't get into the two button set up on a toy—especially one with ten different stimulation patterns. Is it really fair to make me click a button 9 times to get to the last pulse setting—and then nine more times if I want to go back to the lowest vibration?

That annoyance aside, the G-Ki is a solid toy that certainly helped me find (or at least pleasure) my own spot. Though it's not as groundbreaking as the SaSi, it's still a very worthwhile g-spot stimulator. In fact, you might even say it's the "key" to your "G"...but that would be a really terrible pun.

· Buy the G-Ki (babeland.com)
· Je Joue (jejoue.com)

As the year draws to a close, we've reviewed our reviews from 2009, and scientifically determined just which toys were the best of the best this year. Below, our picks for the tops in toys.

10) The Real Touch: With a few rare exceptions, high end (and high tech) sex toys are almost exclusively targeted at women. The Real Touch is looking to change that. A high tech masturbator that syncs with POV porn, the Real Touch may just change the face of toys for boys. True, it has its problems (most notably, the fact that it won't work if you're not paying per minute for AEBN's porn)—but it's promising enough to give us hope for the future.

9) OhMiBod Freestyle: After years on the scene, the OhMiBod has finally reached its full potential. With the Freestyle's wireless connection, you can finally rock out to your tunes without being tied down to them.

8) Tenth Anniversary Tristan Butt Plug: The Tenth Anniversary Tristan Plug takes a good thing and makes it better (or at least bigger). A beefed up version of the original Tristan plug, the 10th anniversary edition is a must have for any butt aficionado in need of an upgrade.

7) Bolero Straitjacket **BEST LUXURY TOY**: This delightful bondage device combines the efficient immobilization of the straitjacket with the delicious eroticism of being nearly naked. True, it's not cheap—but if you're willing and able to invest in your BDSM toy chest, it's an excellent addition.

6) Imperial: With 11 inches of aircraft quality spun aluminum, the Imperial is bound to please any and all size queens—especially the ones who enjoy toys with the ability to pleasure and violently disfigure.

5) Bloomy: A wonderful dildo for the girls, and a p-spot stimulating butt plug for the boys—Bloomy's a toy that everyone can enjoy! (Just, uh, remember to sterilize it before sharing.)

4) Finger Tingles **BEST BUY**: Since the day we first discovered sex, we've wondered whether there could ever be away to improve on the erotic abilities of the simple little finger. The answer, friends, is yes: with the help of the Finger Tingles, your mild-mannered digit becomes a super finger.

3) Contour Q **BEST DISCREET TOY**: Don't be fooled by Contour Q's innocent appearance: these bumpy little massage stones know their way around a woman's body. And we do mean all parts of the body.

2) Sqweel: With the Sqweel, Love Honey set out to create a toy that replicates the sensation of oral sex. While they may not have quite achieved that goal, they did create a wholly unique toy that stimulates in a very unusual (and very pleasing) way.

1) Form 2: Small, sleek, and super-powered: the rabbit-inspired Form 2 has two silicone ears that are all revved up and ready to rock. And just like a real rabbit, this thing won't quit until long after you're satisifed.

Worst Toy of 2009: The Blowguard: Sure, it'll enable you to give a decent blowjob with absolutely no effort...at the cost of your dignity, your comfort, and your ability to control your drooling.

While the Form 2's ears made it rabbit-like in appearance, the Ina is a rabbit in a more metaphorical sense: unlike the Form 2, it is a dual stimulation (aka "rabbit" vibe)...but in appearance, well, it bears more resemblance to some sort of cactus than a fuzzy little bunny.

But, of course, it's much more pleasant than a cactus would be on the lady parts. Ina's sleek, smooth contours felt great on my bits; and I greatly enjoyed the many pulse patterns offered by the toy. If you're familiar with Lelo toys and Lelo quality, you should know what to expect here: it's a solid, well designed piece of machinery that'll keep you happy all night long.

However, there were some road bumps to my experience with Ina. The first came early on: Ina's smaller prong (the one used for external stimulation) is in a relatively fixed position. While it's flexible enough to bend back a bit, it may not be enough to accommodate all body types. Ultimately, it was fine for me—but if you prefer your external and internal stimulators to have a good deal of distance between them, this may not be the toy for you.

Secondly, the external and internal stimulators do not have separate controls. The Ina's four buttons control all parts of the toy simultaneously, whether they're turning it on, turning it up, or cycling through a few rocking beats. If you like your clit to rock as hard as your gspot, then carry on—but if you want to be able to switch things up between the two areas, another toy might suit you better.

True, the rabbit vibe is a classic toy—but it's always nice to see the classics get reinvented (like when Baz Luhrmann shot "Romeo and Juliet"!). Ina's one great take on dual stimulation...and we can't wait to see what other sorts of remixes the future has in store for us.

· Lelo (lelo.com)
· Buy the Ina (babeland.com)

A bright red sheath encasing (what else?) a bullet vibe, the Finger Tingles looks a bit like a very ineffective bottle opener. But trust me: with a little know how and maneuvering, this toy should have no problem popping your cork.

To use the Finger Tingles, simply slip your finger of choice (index finger, middle finger, someone else's finger...whatever) through the hole, and press the vibrator's button to activate. Voila! You should immediately notice some tingling...in your finger. No, there's nothing wrong with you: the toy's sheath is, in fact, conducting the bullet's vibration into your finger.

Most of you have probably figured out what happens next, but if you're feeling a little slow today, I'll happily explain. Using your (vibrating!) finger, proceed to stimulate yourself as normal. Yes, your finger just got that much more powerful.

But wait! There's more: move the Finger Tingles all the way down to the base of of your finger, and you now have the ability to do oh so much more with that little digit. For instance, slide it inside yourself, with the vibrator pressing against your clitoris and labia. Yes, that is what we call double stimulation (eat your heart out, rabbit vibe!).

The Finger Tingles is a wonderful example of how effective simple, good design (and your very own finger!) can be. My one complaint? It's only available in one size. Much as I liked it, it felt a little large and unwieldy in the palm of my hand. Then again, my hands are (more or less) the size of a child's...so that probably won't happen to you.

· Buy the Finger Tingles Vibrator (goodvibes.com)

JimmyJane is referring to the Form 2 as a rabbit vibe (and given its resemblance to a certain Sanrio character, it's not hard to see why). But don't be fooled: this isn't the Rabbit Pearl you're dealing with. The Form 2 is a world away from the toy that was the toast of the "Sex and the City" set.

For one thing, the Form 2 is for external use only. But don't think that the lack of dual stimulation is a failing: the Form 2 may not do everything, but what it does do, it does very, very well. The two ears (which can stimulate the labia, envelope the clitoris, and whatever else your dirty little mind imagines) are each powered by their very own motor...the better to vibrate as hard as possible, of course.

And there's also the matter of the controls. The Form 2 is graced with three little buttons: a plus sign (to turn vibration on and up), a minus sign (to decrease vibration and turn it off), and a squiggly line, which takes the toy through different pulse patterns. It's a simple, intuitive set up, and it works very, very well—even in my orgasm addled state, I was still easily able to navigate my way through the pleasure cycle.

But that's not all! The Form 2 is completely waterproof (for bathtime fun), and—and this really excites me—it's impossible to overcharge it. Yes, leave your toy sitting on your charger overnight, if you like; it'll still be good as new in the morning.

In the past, I've had my issues with some of JimmyJane's products, but the Form 2 might just be enough to turn me into a true believer. I'm eagerly looking forward to Form 3 and 4...I can't wait to see what the future holds.

· Buy the Form 2 (jimmyjane.com)

Last year, we were presented with the very praiseworthy SaSi from Je Joue, which turned the idea of what a sex toy can do completely on its head: instead of vibrating or penetrating, the SaSi's primary stimulation comes from moving pressure created by a small nub on the toy's underside. Now LoveHoney has their own innovative toy: meet the Sqweel, a rotating wheel of ten pink rubber tongues.

The idea behind the Sqweel is relatively simple: as the wheel rotates, the pink tongues flick against the clitoris (or nipple, or penis, or labia, or...you get the idea) one after the other after the other (and so on). The idea is to simulate oral sex—though I have to say, most of my partners have had an oral repertoire that was more extensive than simple tongue flinging.

That's not to say that the Sqweel isn't awesome; because, well, it feels pretty darn great. The soft tongues create a very nice feeling, and were easily able to get me off—obviously, the most important test in any sex toy.

However, the Sqweel can be a rather temperamental toy. For optimal results, it must be held just so: when I attempted it press it into my parts to increase the stimulation, I found that the tongues completely stopped spinning—likewise my attempts to clutch the toy between my thighs for hands free fun (I eventually got this to work, but it took some strategizing). But don't be discouraged by any initial struggles: when you do get it work just so, the resulting feeling is well worth the effort.

One criticism, though: despite LoveHoney's claims, I would not classify this toy as "easy to clean," purely on the basis that in order to clean the toy, you must first disassemble it. Sure, the disassembly is a mere two steps—but that's a whole lot more work than it takes to just rinse off any of my other toys.

Of course, none of my other toys house a wheel of ten divine, spinning tongues—so I guess it's just a trade off I'll have to live with.

· Buy the LoveHoney Sqweel (lovehoney.co.uk)

The blame is the worst: "If your mouth was on it, it wouldn't have popped out and gored you." "If you could have just stayed still..."

But this product, a little sleeve of externally ribbed Cyberskin, allows her to firmly grip your Shafted One as if it were a bicycle handlebar (Which it IS, right? RIGHT??), theoretically less vulnerable to losing control when she stops to take a breath or otherwise shout praises to Jesus, as she'll have her hand firmly clasped around you.

The 69® Ego Stroker CyberSkin® Oral Sex Enhancer sounds like this.

Myself, I'm not sure why you would want to stay with someone who doesn't have the presence of mind to keep a firm grip on that which is most important to you, but everyone needs a little help some time.

· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy the 69® Ego Stroker CyberSkin® Oral Sex Enhancer (somethingsexyplanet.com)

Enter the Hiney Can. Literally. From either end!.

This ingenious product features a "Fanta Flesh" vagina on one end and an anus on the other, stuffed into a tube that resembles a Heineken can. Until now, I don't think a mere marital aid has ever trumped the experience of making the sex with a real human, but you have to admit that the Hiney Can eliminates the middle woman, until the expression "too drunk to fuck" loses all meaning and disappears up itself; you are fucking Drunk Incarnate.

Get me a fuckable Jagermeister bottle and Heidi Fleiss a fuckable meth lab and we are never leaving Nevada again.

· Hiney Can (tengashop.com)

Packaged in a velveteen case like chocolates and featuring elegant floral arrangements within, these glass balls don't release heat and give your partner orgasms. They don't get in the way of your penis and give you orgasms. They aren't for shooting out of the vagina at enemies.

And you definitely do not hand them to your partner saying, "Thought your vag needed tightening."

The "Pleasure" in the title of this product most likely refers to the pleasure someone else might feel at seeing these sturdy little tools disappearing up the parts of his/her beloved. Experts say that, if you can keep these two marbles inside after a few trips up and down the stairs, then you can probably open a fire hydrant with your labia.

Our test subject is, of course, capable of opening a Mexican Coke bottle with her vagina, but Ben Wa balls are great for anyone wishing to strengthen her pubococcygeal muscle, providing two chic orbs to squeeze, release, and squeeze again.

Remember, Ben Wa balls do not disappear out the back door. As Lorelei Lee explained to a timid victim recently, "It's a closed passage."

· Buy CyberGlass Ben Wa Pleasure Balls (erosboutique.com)

For the most part, the Freestyle is very similar to the original OhMiBod, in that its a vibrator that syncs to the sounds of your music (or, if you prefer, works as a normal vibrator—but where's the fun in that?). But there's one key feature that makes the Freestyle a winner: unlike its predecessors, the Freestyle won't leave you tangled up in wires.

In previous incaranations, OhMiBod's toys always plugged directly into the iPod. While the long cord made the situation workable, it was hard to ignore the fact that you were, literally, tethered to your iPod—a situation that could make things a little tricky, especially during partner play.

The Freestyle, on the other hand, has no such limitations. Rather than plugging the toy into the vibrator, one merely has to plug a transmitter into the iPod, which wirelessly transmits the vibrations to the Freestyle. It's a small change, but one that's greatly appreciated—and greatly improves the experience.

However, the toy wasn't quite perfect: much to my disappointment, the Freestyle abandons the wonderfully curvy shape of the NaughtiNano, opting instead for a Slimline-like body. It's okay and all—but it would be nice to see a wireless iPod vibe with a more body-friendly shape. (I also have fantasies of a very tiny Freestyle that can be tucked into the panties for discreet play in public—but maybe that's just me.)

I'd also love it if some future version of the Freestyle would enable the user to skip through songs using the toy alone. See, because the cord-free nature of the Freestyle gives me such freedom, I've taken to plugging my iPod into my speakers, and enjoying the beats from all the way across the room. And sometimes, well, I'd like to be able to switch a song without actually getting up and going to the iPod. But, uh, maybe that's just me.

Anyway: when it comes to iPod-synced vibes, the Freestyle is easily the pinnacle of achievement (for now, at least). And I, for one, look forward to enjoying many, many wireless orgasms for years to come—or at least until they come out with the next, even better model of this toy.

· Buy the Freestyle (babeland.com)

The Bottoms-Up Butt Silicone P-Spot Rocker (Now in Ice), distributed by Topco, is quite a beautiful piece of functional art, the kind of thing that unsuspecting guests might not immediately recognize as a sex toy (the way they did your six-foot Chewbacca with the strategic holes).

But caution is the watchword before inserting anything this beautiful and New Power Generation-ish into your backside, fellas. We farmed this out to a willing test subject, who said:

"This stimulated my perineum and my prostate simultaneously. All it took was a little effort."

People with small children may want to send them out of the room for the next part.

"But the P-Spot Rocker-Ice's color isn't conducive to repeated uses, as it tends to reflect where it's been. Still, it's a great little toy."

...and a (w)hole lot better than putting a slew of Andrew Wyeth's Helga paintings up that way.

· Topco Sales (topcosales.us)
· Buy the Bottoms Ups P-Spot Rocker (tlavideo.com)

The Contour Q is actually a set of two ceramic stones—one bumpy, one ribbed—that are shaped like small spheres with with small protrusions on either end (I'm not exactly sure where the "Q" came from). Used individually, or paired with the larger Contour M, they're designed to provide a deep, targeted massage, hitting the body's pressure points in just the right way.

But let me tell you something: my favorite pressure point to target with the Contour Q is quite a bit aways from my back. Yes, I'm quite partial to using the Contour Q for clitoral stimulation (and though it may not be explicitly discussed in their PR materials, trust that this is most definitely something that JimmyJane intended).

I'm not quite sure what sort of voodoo is involved, but rolling the Contour Q (either one!) back and forth against the clitoris feels just marvelous. And while I'm sure they're good for other massages too, well—let's just say I've been a little too preoccupied to find out. But hey: the clitoral stimulation alone is well worth the $25, right?

· Contour Q (jimmyjane.com)
· Buy Contour Q (babeland.com)

Topco takes us back to a time when pubic hair's purpose was to shade a delightful secret and to provide a marker on the way to home base. Today it's just slide right in.

Laura Doone's Vibrating Cyberskin Hairy Pussy arrived via UPS on a 100-degree day in Los Angeles, and it was still warm when it got here. Holding it in my hands, squeezing it until it made that distinctive Cyberskin thworpthworpthworp, I imagined what it would be like when original "Joy of Sex" line art-looking lovers would routinely burst into flame when their pubes ignited, as I have read in ancient tomes.

"Was it actually molded from Laura Doone?" I asked a Topco representative, unable to find anything about the current whereabouts of the Cyberskin creation's namesake.

"No, it was inspired by Laura," I was told. "There was no way to actually mold her."

If Ms. Doone was 18 years old at the time of her centerfold by Bob Guccione, she would be 53 now. Unfortunately, only by having a shaved pussy could her age be verified.

I asked the Topco representative where the hair came from.

"Was it from angels?" I said.

"It's the same material you'd find in high-end wigs," he said.

So angels?

Anyway, I looked into my drawer full of Cyberskin vibrating pussies and found that this one was similar to several other shaved ones, except with hair. It's like they used a Joanna Angel chassis and put hair on it.

But that's OK, because to use Laura Doone's Vibrating Cyberskin Pussy is to actually fuck time, and that's got to be worth something.

· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy Laura Doone's 1974 Hairy Vibrating Cyberskin Pussy (sextoysexfurniture.com)

The main pros to the Earth Angel are immediately obvious. It's made from recycled plastics and doesn't require batteries, so you can rest easy that you're not killing the planet while rubbing one out. It also requires nothing but your own elbow grease to get up and running—a nice bonus if you're ever in need of some, ahem, relaxation during a blackout.

On the con side: look, I can't lie to you, this thing is a bitch to power up. At four minutes of cranking per thirty minutes of vibing, it seems like a lot of work for minimal payoff (especially since—let's face it—many of us could easily get off in four minutes with just our hands, or even an equally earth-friendly dildo). True, it can also be charged with a 5-volt charger (not included); but doesn't that power drain take away from the Earth-friendly aspect?

And then, of course, there's the matter of how the vibe performs. As the picture indicates, the Earth Angel is basically a Slimline vibe with a crank on the end. It's hard plastic, and it's ultra straight: all of which adds up to the kind of vibe that just doesn't really work for me.

I love the idea of a toy that doesn't make me run to the bodega for batteries, and doesn't take hours to power up, but the Earth Angel needs a few more tweaks before it gains my seal of approval. Note to the manufacturers: throw in a little curve to the body, maybe soften it up a bit, and see what you can do about reducing the crank time. Once you've got that down, well, baby, we'll be in business.

· Buy the Earth Angel (babeland.com)

Made of a velvety hard plastic, the bumpy toy feels sleek against the skin—always a nice sensation. With its arched head, it's perfectly positioned to rub up against a girl's gspot; the small bumps lining the top of the head feel great when they come into contact with the, ahem, outer areas.

But I found myself wanting to feel the whole toy inside me—and, alas, here is where I was stymied. It looked like it should go in just fine, but whenever I attempted this feat, I found myself out of luck. More persistent (or more flexible) penetrators may have more success with this than I did (and if you do, please report back).

And what, you ask, about the vibration part of this vibrator? In terms of intensity, this is a mid-range toy: it's no powerhouse, but it's charged enough to make an impression. Depending on your mood, you can increase or decrease the vibration by turning the dial at the base of the toy. (Don't be expecting any fancy pulse patterns, though—this is a strictly entry-level toy.)

I wouldn't say that the Cloud 9 took me to Cloud 9—but I did get somewhere in the range of Cloud 7 (and maybe even 7.5!). Not the best marital aid known to man; but then again, at a mere twenty bucks, it offers up a pretty respectable experience.

· Buy the Cloud 9 (babeland.com)

A double-ended glass dildo with a slight bend in the center, Athena is a wonderful choice for any lady in search of a sleek, sexy toy that'll hit the gspot just right. The solid glass body has a decent heft that creates both a feeling of fullness and a good amount of pressure in just the right spot—and the two different heads offer the user a bit of choice about how much girth she'd like to play with. Isn't it nice to have choices?

A note for the worried: no, you won't have to worry about the Athena shattering inside you. Yes, it is glass: but it's very, very dense and sturdy (and if you have Kegel muscles that are capable of shattering it—well, we definitely want to know your pubic fitness regiment).

Because Luxotiq is a thoughtful company, they include a cloth to wipe down your Athena with, post-use. Once it's all nice and shiny, you can put it back in it's fancy sateen-lined case—or hey, even leave it out on the coffee table. It's so pretty, you'll probably get compliments on your fancy new sculpture.

· Buy the Athena (babeland.com)

Measuring a mere 4" long, and 1.5" in diameter, Angel is a toy on the smaller end of the spectrum—but one that packs a decent punch when it's up and running. Stimulation-wise, it's a pretty good toy: the slight shape easily navigates the girly parts, and its curves are capable of hitting all the necessary areas.

But, alas, it didn't leave me blown away. And, interestingly, the size was the culprit—though not for reasons you might think. It wasn't that it didn't feel good: it was that, with the control buttons located at the bottom of the small shaft, I found that I kept inadvertently turning the vibration up and down while in the process of trying to pleasure myself: a frustrating situation, to be sure.

Unfortunate, really because it could have been so good. Alas, another toy destroyed by an ill-conceived interface design.

· Buy Angel (babeland.com)