By Gram Ponante, 7:33 PM on Fri Jan 4 2008, 3,897 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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According to the latest figures, there will be a quimbillion porn stars at this year's AVN Expo. Each reports to a makeup artist before she makes her way to the convention floor, where she will totter on five-inch heels for three to five hours and hope her boyfriend makes the trip to the food concession for her so she doesn't have to do it herself. Convention veteran Kylie Ireland has a stern warning for overzealous fans: "Don't ask me for an autograph if I'm anywhere near the bathroom."

· AVN Awards (avnawards.com)
· 2008 Adult Entertainment Expo (show.adultentertainmentexpo.com)
· Red Light District (clubredlight.com)