We're as excited as everyone else seems to be about the semiconfirmed existence of the Paris Hilton Sex Tape, and fully expect an unmarked copy to show up on the doorstep of the Gawker Media headquarters any moment now. Until that happens, though, all we can offer is this photo of someone who at least looks an awful lot like the elder half of everyone's favorite overexposed celebrity sister couple going commando for a night on the town, in case you didn't see it the first nine hundred times it was posted.

Paris' Privates