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Here's another entry since I can't stop thinking about these things now. This is sorta cheating because it was a Christmas story, but I hope you'll forgive me.
The holiday season before my ex wife and I got an apartment together (we were engaged, but not married yet and were planning on getting our place in February when my lease went out) we decided to do Christmas Eve together at my parent's house.
I show up and my lady had decided to surprise me with a kitten for Christmas - which she had brought to my parent's house.
Now, my parents had three dogs, so once the kitten was given to me (an adorable thing) my dad locks it up in an upstairs room away from the canines.
Serious drinking and present opening then ensues. My step mom was a big animal lover, so at one point she goes upstairs to play with the kitten.
She's so drunk, however, that she forgets to close the door.
We found this out when roughly a half our later one of the dogs comes into the living room and drops the kitten's head in my lady's lap.
My lady starts screaming at my step mom and freaking out. My step mom then calls my lady a "stupid bitch" for bringing a kitten to a house with three dogs in it.
The two of them then start physically fighting each other until my dad and I can pull them off each other.
But, things were now really fucked. Because we had two freaked out women on our hands and we'd been drinking and my parents live in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.
There was no way in hell we could drive home and there were no fucking cabs willing to come out there on Christmas Eve, so my dad and I essentially had to deal with two banshee furious women, bury a kitten and try to have some semblance of Christmas. Plus we had all the general relatives coming over in the morning.
Fuck, we sipped vodka all night and kept my lady and my step mom in separate rooms until they thankfully passed out. Reply
The holiday season before my ex wife and I got an apartment together (we were engaged, but not married yet and were planning on getting our place in February when my lease went out) we decided to do Christmas Eve together at my parent's house.
I show up and my lady had decided to surprise me with a kitten for Christmas - which she had brought to my parent's house.
Now, my parents had three dogs, so once the kitten was given to me (an adorable thing) my dad locks it up in an upstairs room away from the canines.
Serious drinking and present opening then ensues. My step mom was a big animal lover, so at one point she goes upstairs to play with the kitten.
She's so drunk, however, that she forgets to close the door.
We found this out when roughly a half our later one of the dogs comes into the living room and drops the kitten's head in my lady's lap.
My lady starts screaming at my step mom and freaking out. My step mom then calls my lady a "stupid bitch" for bringing a kitten to a house with three dogs in it.
The two of them then start physically fighting each other until my dad and I can pull them off each other.
But, things were now really fucked. Because we had two freaked out women on our hands and we'd been drinking and my parents live in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.
There was no way in hell we could drive home and there were no fucking cabs willing to come out there on Christmas Eve, so my dad and I essentially had to deal with two banshee furious women, bury a kitten and try to have some semblance of Christmas. Plus we had all the general relatives coming over in the morning.
Fuck, we sipped vodka all night and kept my lady and my step mom in separate rooms until they thankfully passed out. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: Your lady has more restraint that I do as I would've probably grabbed a knife. Holy shit.
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@allyzay:
There have been Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations with my family that did, in fact, lead to people grabbing knives. Reply
There have been Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations with my family that did, in fact, lead to people grabbing knives. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: truly horrifying... truly. What kind of fucking dogs do your parents have?
Also... well done. Reply
Also... well done. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: Because nothing says "holiday cheer" likes weapons play. This is true for both the lowest and the highest classes. The middle? No one's really sure.
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@Hydroceph: We need a few ER doctors or nurses to pipe up. A few years back, I happened to be in a hospital emergency room in a town in upstate NY, the kind where the state penitentiary is its biggest employer. Santa brings lots of people handcuffs for Christmas.
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@LucilleTwoStep:
The cat eater was a Standard Poodle (think a poodle the size of a Golden Retriever.)
The other two dogs were docile and wouldn't have fucked with the kitten. Reply
The cat eater was a Standard Poodle (think a poodle the size of a Golden Retriever.)
The other two dogs were docile and wouldn't have fucked with the kitten. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: Poodles are mean... now I am less surprised, but yet still as horrified.
You get my vote.
#tips Reply
You get my vote.
#tips Reply
@LucilleTwoStep:
Thanks! I have two other horror stories (that really happened on Thanksgiving rather than Christmas) lower down on the comment list. Reply
Thanks! I have two other horror stories (that really happened on Thanksgiving rather than Christmas) lower down on the comment list. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: I used to look after a Standard Poodle, and he was the sweetest dog, but his owner would always warn me "be careful because he will kill a cat." I always wondered if he would also cut a bitch, but he apparently limited his violence to chasing down, and devouring cats. Luckily I never had to witness this. The owner told me that Standard Poodles were used to hunt down small animals in Germany at some point and it's still in their blood. On the plus side, they are hypoallergenic and very loving towards humans.
#tips Reply
#tips Reply
@ParahSalin:
Charlie (as my parents named him after the Steinbeck novel) was very nice to people. But, this was not the only cat he killed. He took out a cat from up the road a year or two after this.
I never knew why (as my parents had had both dogs and cats when I was younger who got along) so I'm glad to see your explanation. Reply
Charlie (as my parents named him after the Steinbeck novel) was very nice to people. But, this was not the only cat he killed. He took out a cat from up the road a year or two after this.
I never knew why (as my parents had had both dogs and cats when I was younger who got along) so I'm glad to see your explanation. Reply
@drunkexpatwriter: Shadow was one of the sweetest dogs I've ever known. As far as I know he only killed that one cat. I guess you could say he was the Glenn Beck of the dog world.
#tips Reply
#tips Reply