· Open directory with hot cheesecake scans of Donald Trump's former-girlfriend-and-current-fiancée Melania Knauss; Victoria Zdrok unavailable for comment. (wanken.de - thanks Xeni; see also related item @ Gawker)

· Someone at b3ta found this XML list of obscenities on a UK women's body deodorant promo website (wtf?) and recommends that "any ambitious young swearers out there study it thoroughly". We plan on using the term "chutney ferret" as much as possible from now on. (impulsegoddess.co.uk, via b3ta.com)

· How would you like to fuck John Ashcroft? Glad you asked! (ethanocentric.com, via Wonkette)

· New bodmod trend alert: Lumpy Spotted Dicks. You've been warned. (TGP/preview gallery @ bdsmtraffic.com, via Eros Blog)

· Hardcore Gossip bitch slaps the LA Times for Lisa Richardson's latest article on the HIV crisis: "Richardson has been trailing, or should I say trolling, around in Porn Valley since the Darren James HIV story broke and has yet to release a decent story about the crisis ... I think they teach that kind of thing in journalism school, or so I hear, even at Stanford." Take that, Cardinals! (hardcoregossip.com, 4/30 entry)

· Best headline ever: "No More Anal Creampies". We want a t-shirt. (AVN)

· "What Truth Hides In Jest" department: "Women Overcomes Years Of Child Abuse To Achieve Porn Stardom". (The Onion - thanks Tyler)

· Hot NYC sex photographer is censored by Norwegian skin magazine - we have no idea what the article says, but the pictures are pretty fun. (dagbladet.no, via Boing Boing)

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