By Mark, 2:31 PM on Thu Jun 3 2004, 422 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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It's Ted Casablanca time! Take your best stab at E!'s humpy gossiper's gibberishy, eyeless scoop o' celebby dirt-pie.

Ted sez: Uh! Does this fake-girlfriend stuff get boring, or what?

Yes, yes, yes—there's yet another terribly big celeb who's pulling the unsuspecting wool over the eyes of Middle American masses (kinda think the crusty coastal types are more into this dude, however). Our latest same-sex star? Well, his frame isn't exactly towering, but his pro rep sure is. His reported g-f is around sometimes. This week's baddish boy's name is Sneaky Simpson, didn't you know? Read the whole "One Boyish Blind Vice" here. (Scroll down a bit.)

You say: Email guesses to tips@defamer.com. Guesses will be posted sometime this afternoon.