The pessimist, however, will say that Adriana is sort-of SFW. The pessimist is not welcome here. We want readers who can see the filth despite the dainty, people who know ...
We may not all be shareholders of Tumblr (drat!), but these babes have us feelin’ pretty rich.
These women are nuts! And that’s before the male strippers show up…just kidding. But, when the dudes start taking it all off, these regular everyday women go bonkers, they can’t get enough. It still amazes me every single time!
The happiest place on earth for any gal is probably wherever her Magic Wand happens to be. It certainly seems to have brought a smile to this babe’s face. Or at least an open-mouthed orgasmic moan as she fingers herself. Both work. Jumping upon a Magic Wand is basically the equivalent of zooming around Space Mountain, we think, although we’ve actually never been on the thing ourself. We can only imagine the rush, the thrill, the ups, the downs, the sheer and spectacular joy are sort of on par. Now if only there were a way to sneak a Wand onto the aforementioned coaster — although we don’t know if a body could even handle that kind of bliss. Worth a shot (but, uh, without any of those pesky kid things around).
It’s almost like the girl next door, but, uh, way better. Because, sure, you might admire your favorite neighborhood babe, but it’s from afar. The chick on your dick, however, you can hold and watch and love and bang all right there. And that can feel so gratifying, you know? There’s definitely an exquisite beauty and pain in unrequited love, and we’ll swoon over it as much as the next bleeding-heart romantic. But sometimes whackin’ off is preferable to swooning — we’re gonna go ahead and say this is one of those times.
But the real burning question here is: What are these hot little fuckers watching on TV? That’s right friends, it’s time to play ‘Name That Audio!’
I don’t read other people’s porn eviews, because it’s like sleeping on dubious sheets. But I did look at the boxocver copy of Digital Playground’s “La Boutique,” and it provided an excellent summary, complete with italics:
We’re having some intense deja vu with these pictures of a braless Maria Fowler (we call it deja boob), but we definitely haven’t ever posted them before. Could it be that all seethrough pictures have the same look? Did we dream of Maria’s illuminated tits last night and are feeling the collapse of prophecy and reality into this dimension?
What’s a Sienna Miller? It’s a pair of boobs lying back on the bed. Don’t you know from poker? It’s definitely a rare hand–the last time we encountered Sienna was two years ago–but it’s an unforgettable one and powerful to boot! Them tits bring the chips.
Near any BJ is a good one in our book, but we truly appreciate a body getting clever with them. This lady is treating this dick to a nice Cirque du Soleil of blow technique, and it’s got us wanting to pull off some acrobatics of our own.
The pessimist, however, will say that Adriana is sort-of SFW. The pessimist is not welcome here. We want readers who can see the filth despite the dainty, people who know that a leg warmer is just another phallic symbol, that everything on the screen is a phallic symbol! Our ideal reader sees gangbangs wherever they go. It’s a burden, but it’s also a blessing.
Sex in the back of a car? Check. Steamed up windows? Check (way to complete your “Titanic” fantasies, too). Interrupted by friends? You betcha. Only one person orgasms? Yes! You did it! You’re officially ready to be an adult now; stress about auto insurance will prevent you from ever again fucking in the backseat.
What’s the difference between a lad’s mag model and a topless fashion model? Nothing! If you were looking for a punchline, there isn’t one; there’s nothing but gorgeous lad’s mag regulars strutting their stuff with a different style for i-D magazine. It’s a refreshing way to ogle Rosie Jones, Lacey Banghard, Sabine Jemeljanova, and others!
Appearing in his first hardcore gay scene in 2009, Koh had starred in hundreds of gay titles since and quickly became a role model for gay youth struggling with sexuality in the traditionally conservative Japanese culture.
I thought how I wanted to fuck his ass with the larger dildo, the thick black monster cock. I was too deep in the moment and too lazy to actually do the switch, but that thought brought me to the edge. I put my right hand underneath my harness and started rubbing, while I used my left hand to push him onto my cock. “Take my cock, you little slut. You are such an insatiable little whore. Always hungry for cock, aren’t you?” “Yes, Miss, I’m your slut,” he would grunt.
What is sex like for a sleepwalker? We’re not talking about sexsomnia, which we’ve seen in hyper-stylized action. Is there a chance that Maria Yasnaya here could be eaten out so well that she falls asleep and awakes in an orgasmic trance? Has that ever happened to you?
Look, when you have to check your legs, you have to check your legs, even if you’re on the red carpet at Cannes! We can’t fault Eva Longoria for anything. Perhaps she should’ve ran a quick mental checklist on her outfit, but she probably had a lot on her mind! She certainly doesn’t have a lot on her crotch.
We normally turn to them as bastions of goodness and truth, gentle beacons lighting our path through the murky woods of life. But sometimes we turn to them for their MILFy tits and questionable taste in fuck-dudes, and hey, that’s cool too. Because a doggystyle MILF-bang is illuminating in its own right.